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Do Enlist

Introduction Torture Glossary Cindy Sheehan Protest
9/11 Bush’s Five Big Lies The Muslims Will Kill Us All!
Bush’s Untrue WMD Statements Don’t Marry A Soldier
American Terrorists How You Know Bush Lied about WMDs Don’t Enlist
American War Criminals Iraq War Motives Do Enlist
Disrespecting American Soldiers Altruistic War Motives The Coming Draft
Joke Selfish War Motives The Ideal War
Iraq War Casualty Pictures Popular War Motives Spoken Word Links
Abu Ghraib Torture Pictures Economic Cost of the Iraq War Video Links
Navy Seals Pictures Beheadings Books
Fallujah Pictures History Related Essays by Roedy
DU Baby Pictures Why The Iraqis Fight So Hard Links
Culprit Pictures What The Iraqis Want Taking Action
Protester Pictures Republican Denial What You can Do
Links To Pictures Republicans Pretend Not To Notice Mark Twain’s War Prayer
Body Counts Saddam Hussein War Is A Racket
Defense Science Board Future Wounds by Dr. Norman Bethune
Atrocities Mind Your Own Business! How Will The Iraq War End?
Tortures Why I Despise Most Americans Conclusions
Guilty of Torture God On Our Side

Do Enlist

My seventeen reasons not to enlist has been very popular with American soldiers in Iraq. They write about that essay more than anything else on the website. So I figured it is only fair to give the opposite side of the coin, nine reasons to enlist.
  1. Sadism

    You get to loot, kill, rape, torture children, adults, grandparents, animals — your pleasure with almost no chance you will spend time in jail for it. Unlike civilian serial killers, you might even get a medal for your exploits and you can brag about them freely to anyone with the stomach to listen. Of course, if you partake in the Iraq war, you automatically become an international war criminal, but at least for the time being, the USA is successfully blocking the court at the Hague from prosecuting American war criminals. Unfortunately, as the USA loses its #1 superpower status, it may no longer have the will protect you. Because there is no statute of limitations for war crimes, you will need shielding until you die a natural death. According to NPR (National Public Radio), only 15% of sex crimes in the military are reported. That’s great if you are a predator, not so great if you are a victim.
  2. Money

    If you can’t get a job, there is always the army. If you are short of cash, the first thing that comes to mind to any red blooded American boy is to kill someone to improve the situation. It never occurs to him that stealing from someone is a lesser imposition that killing them. It also never occurs there is far more shame in butchering a child, for any reason, than pushing a broom.
  3. Respect

    If you can’t any respect, a uniform may help. Ignorant people might confuse you with a WWII (World War II) vet who actually risked his life to protect his country. Many people will unthinkingly give respect to anyone in uniform, even if the joined out of purely selfish sadistic motives.
  4. Submission

    You hate freedom. You consider yourself such a dufus that you think somebody else can run your life for you better than you can. You want to be told what to do in minute detail.
  5. Homosexuality

    The thought of fit, sweaty young men couped up in a tent without a fresh change of underwear gives you an erection. Maybe without competition from women, you might just get lucky. At least you can hear and watch them whacking off in their bunks at night.
  6. The free hat offers various recruiting incentives including a free hat and video games.
  7. Investments

    Some of you have invested heavily in ExxonMobil, Halliburton, Monsanto, Titan, CSC, Kellogg Brown & Root, Bechtel, the Carlyle Group, ChevronTexaco, Unocal etc. The more the war flares, the more money you make. You want to go to Iraq personally to see what you can do to keep the war rolling. You want to do everything you can to inspire revenge against the USA with the most evil deeds you or anyone else can possibly conceive. If you succeed, the war will never end.
  8. Travel

    Travel to Iraq, the modern day name for Mesopotamia, the birthplace of human civilisation. Let your inner vandal out. Destroy precious artifacts thousands of years old. Think what fun target practice would be on stonework that Alexander the Great walked on. Previously you may have thought only the Taliban could get away with mass scale vandalism.
  9. Corruption

    The USA has spent $300 billion on the Iraq war and there are no accountants keeping track. This means huge opportunities for corruption if you keep your eyes open.
  10. Scholarship

    If you survive your 2+ tours in Iraq, you might negotiate a scholarship.
  11. Social

    You are dumb as an ox, flunked out of grade 3 and live in a trailer park. All your friends support the USA in the war, in the same rah rah way they support the local football team. You have absolutely no idea why the USA is now killing ragheads instead of gooks, but you don’t care. Huntin’ raghead kids should be just as fun as yer daddy had wastin’ gook kids and spraying them with napalm and agent orange. You sign up because that’s what your kind of people do.
  12. Fitness

    Psychopaths who join the military most commonly use the excuse of fitness. I suppose this is an advantage, but it is obviously not the main attraction. There are so many ways to get fit that don’t require tortmenting others.
  13. Training

    Extremely naïve people believe the recruiter promises of training, a college education etc. It never occurs to them to check with people who signed up if this alleged training actually helped them get a job. There are not many jobs using automatic weapons, beating up old ladies or torturing children, unless you want to work for criminal gangs. On the downside, brain damage or a missing limb is one heck of an impediment to getting a decent job.
    For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world i.e. a job and lose his own soul?
    ~ Mark 8:36
  14. Discipline

    Another excuse young psychopaths use for joining the military is they figured they needed the discipline. They needed someone else to tell them what to do, since their own sense of right and wrong was defective. This is jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It like joining a satanic cult to learn chastity. If you want to submit to the authority of another, enter a monastery, Christian or Buddhist. At least you won’t kill anyone.

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