Men Seeking Men Webring Home : Gay & Black Glossary


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The Men Seeking Men ring links together websites that run by gay males seeking a male lover/partner. If you’re not familiar with the concept of Rings, check out the or my essay on webrings. What makes this different from Web Personals and other gay rings?
  1. There is detailed information about each person. Hopefully you can get you know what they are like even before you contact them.
  2. You don’t have to be technically competent in HTML (Hypertext Markup Language) to join the ring.
  3. You don’t even have to have a website to join the ring,

As owner of this Ring, I make the final decision on who gets in… but hey, I’m pretty lenient! Still interested? Then follow these instructions:

The Three Ways To Participate

  1. Traditional: You compose your web page. You add the ring nav bar to it. The page lives on your website. You control it and update it yourself at any time.
  2. Via a link: You compose your web page using whatever tools you have and upload it to your own website. You control it and update it yourself at any time. I set up a web page for you on my site with the nav bar on it that points to your page. And you set up a link that points back to this page. It will have the form:, where mickeym is your Yahoo id. This mainly for people who use integrated HTML tools and have no idea how to insert a nav bar into their own web page, but do know how to insert a link. Unfortunately, for this technique to work, you have to divulge your Yahoo password to me, or email me your nav bar and set up the URL yourself.
  3. No Website: You don’t have a web page or any desire to learn how to compose one. You just send me your text and photos by snail mail:
    Roedy Green
    Precise address withdrawn due to too many death threats.
    Victoria, BC Canada

    or email them to me at  email feedback to Roedy Green or Canadian Mind Products and I’ll compose them for you into a web page and post it on my site. You can possibly suggest some colours you would like me to use. The disadvantage of this route it you are relying on me to do the layout and any changes for you. You won’t get it exactly the way you like since my patience and artistic skill is limited. Unfortunately, for this technique to work, you have to divulge your Yahoo password to me. You could also hire a professional web page designer to help you.

Composing Your Web Page

If you want to join this ring, you are going to have to get specific, both about yourself and the person you want to meet. Don’t beat around the bush. Explain what makes you different from every other guy out there on the net. Answer these questions:
  1. How do people contact you? At the bare minimum, you will need an email address, perhaps a phone number. Surprisingly you won’t get crank calls. The email address is mandatory. If you think about it, it makes no sense to post without it.
  2. Where are you? Country, State, City. How far are you willing to relocate for the right guy? Do you have skills that makes it easy to find work anywhere? Are you in a position to help someone to relocate to where you are and find work?
  3. Physical: What is your race, height, weight, birthdate (year, month, day). A photo is best along with the approximate date (year, month, day) it was taken. There is not much point in this unless you have a photo since looks are so important to the most people seeking a lover, not necessarily movie star looks, but a certain something. Often pictures of you through the years gives a more of a sense of who you are. People can sometimes fall in love with how you used to look, even though they are perfectly aware you no longer look that way.
  4. Endowment: I would not mention your penis size. People who truly have large ones rarely advertise that fact. They want to be loved for something else. People who claim to have giant ones never show up for their dates. I’m not a prude, just practical.
  5. Cultural Background: What is your cultural background? What backgrounds most appeal to you in a lover?
  6. Personality: Are you gregarious or a loner? Are you talkative or the strong silent type? Are you tactful or blunt? Do you have many secrets? Do you tend to express or suppress emotions? You might take the Meyers-Briggs online personality test to determine your type.
  7. intelligence: What is your IQ (Intelligence Quotient) ? What is your education? What are you looking for in a lover?
  8. Your ideal: What sort of person are you looking for ideally? physical, mental, psychological. What range of ages are you willing to consider given everything else were perfect? Do you like your guys big and beefy or little and scrawny? Do you like them hairy chested or androgynous? What turns you on and off physically. Don’t be shy here. Just because you prefer one race over another or one hair colour over another does not make you evil. It is just a preference, like preferring some house paint colours over others. People need reassurance you will particularly like them. If you don’t do that in your essay, guys won’t contact you.
  9. Exercise: How often do you exercise and what forms do you use? What are you hoping for in a partner? Don’t ask for a guy who loves mountain climbing every weekend if you aren’t up to it yourself.
  10. Health: Do you have any health problems, particularly your HIV (Human Immuno-deficiency Virus) status? For some guys, HIV+ (Human Immuno-deficiency Virus Positive (infected)) will be a plus, for others a definite no. You might as well get that out in the open before you start. How tolerant are you of health problems in your partner?
  11. Activities: What sorts of activity do you enjoy. Don’t be afraid to mention stuff you don’t think others will be interested in. Your ideal lover will go at last someone interested in what I’m interested in. Do you have one of those fanatical hobbies like expensive collections of stamps or small breakable objects that will consume every cent of spare change and leave your partner wondering about the point to it all.
  12. Sex: I think it wise to let people know what sorts of sexual activities you are willing to do and those which you pretty well insist on doing or you wouldn’t want to get involved. Try to keep it tasteful but honest.
  13. Heartfires: What sorts of things are very important to you? your church? some cause? some sport? clothes? possessions? travel? family? pets?… Who are your heroes and villains?
  14. Attitudes: What are your attitudes toward tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, other drugs, monogamy, tidiness, Christianity, politics?
  15. To Avoid: What sorts of thing do you want to avoid in a relationship?
  16. What do you want? What sorts of things are you hoping to find in a relationship. Pour your heart out. You are talking to your ideal lover who is trying to find you.
  17. Music: What kind of music do you like?
  18. Why you? Why would someone enjoy having you as a lover? List as many reasons as you can think of. Ask friends and former lovers to help.
  19. Humour: Who or what makes you laugh?
  20. His negatives: What can you tolerate in a lover that other people might dislike? e.g. You might like or even prefer fat guys.
  21. Your negatives: Tell some of your negative traits. This makes you real and approachable. Further, Harville Hendrix has a theory that these are the true attractors. We seek people who have the same familiar flaws as our parents.
  22. Skills: What skills do you have that your lover might enjoy, e.g. you are a great chef, or you give dynamite massages.
  23. Money: How wealthy are you and how wealthy would you like your partner to be? Some people want a lover wealthier than they are, sometimes they want to be the wealthier partner, sometimes they want strict equality. Are you expecting to be fully or partly supported or to support?
  24. Bower Bird:bowerbird Be creative. Think like a bower bird. What would attract your mate? What would let people know what you are really like? Decorate your page with art, music, photos, stories, links, poetry. Describe an ideal day together. Show pictures representing your future life together. Your page should be unlike any other. Don’t be afraid to be different. Not everyone has to like your page; just one guy has to like it a lot.
  25. Who Else? Who else has to be considered, e.g. dependent parents or children, pets, an existing lover…
  26. Fantasies: What are some of your fantasies? By that I don’t mean being gang raped by a dozen well hung black guys, but something like hiking in Tibet, or collecting tropical fish in the Amazon, or teaching school in Africa, or quitting your job and becoming a book publisher, raising miniature horses or… Maybe with the right guy something like one of those fantasies could come true.
  27. Closetedness: How out of the closet are you? Who knows you are gay? Friends, parents, co-workers, the local media? What do you want in a partner, genderfuck, out and camp, out and conservative, don’t ask, don’t tell, no one must ever find out?
  28. Living Together: What sorts of food do you eat? Are you a carnivore, vegetarian or vegan? Do you eat only organic food? Do you eat many food supplements? What rules do you want to impose on your lover? Do you want to sleep in separate beds, or together tightly cuddled? Are you a morning, evening or night-owl person? Do you like the room cool or warm?
  29. Being Found: Your page has to stand out above the tens of thousands of other guys advertising on the net. Use vocabulary and phrases in it that your guy might plug into a search engine hoping to find you. Use the <meta name=KEYWORDS content=xxx,yyy,zzz> feature to help the search engines along.
  30. Copy Me: If you are stuck, have a look at mine. I got a response saying that the caller fit all my criteria with one glaring exception, gender. I decided give her a chance. We’ve been together since 2000 July. I’ve had quite a few nibbles from young males too. So I may eventually end up with two lovers, one male and one female.
Still interested? Then follow these instructions:
  1. Compose a web page telling all about yourself and the type of guy you would like to meet. Upload it to your website.
  2. If you don’t know how to do that, just compose an essay about yourself, and email or snail mail it to me along with some photos.
  3. Click join on the Males Seeking Males ring nav bar below. Just follow your nose.
  4. If you want more explicit help on joining, maintaining your site etc, see the instructions in the Java glossary.
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