Musings
©1996-2009 Roedy Green, Canadian Mind Products
These are random thoughts, that don’t fit anywhere else. Perhaps some day
I may develop some of them into full blown essays. I hope they work both as Deep
ThoughtTM humour, and sometimes to prang your brain into thinking
afresh.
Depairate Thinking
Humans are prone to errors of this sort:
- I might as well eat this cream puff. One cream puff won’t make any
difference to my weight.
- There is no point in voting. My vote won’t tip the balance.
- There is no point in recycling. There are so many other people, what I do doesn’t
matter.
- There is no point in protesting war. The system likes war; you can’t beat
city hall.
- There is no point in going to the gym. Missing one session won’t make any
difference.
I have six answers to this defeatist thinking:
- If it truly does not matter, that it just as much an excuse for doing something
as not doing it. You might as well do thing that feels right. You might as well
do the thing that has some tiny hope of creating the change you want rather than
something that has no hope.
- Kant suggested you should base your actions on how wise they would be if
everyone did them. For example, if everyone voted, it would be a good thing. It
no one voted, it would be a bad thing, so vote! You are inching the world toward
the good.
Act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.
~ Immanuel Kant (born: 1724-04-22 died: 1804-02-12 at age: 79)
- Individual acts may not count for much, but they build lifetime habit patterns.
Over a lifetime, habitual actions add up to significance.
- Imagine a school bus stuck in the snow. Each despairing man who walks by says, “Nothing
I acting alone could do could free that bus. I might as well do nothing.”
and drives on. Happily, some less egotistical men and women come by too and say, “I
could contribute 3% of the effort of freeing the
bus. Until more people show up to help, I wonder what I could do that will be
useful?” Just your presence helps attract more helpers.
- When I was faced with the extreme prejudice against gays in 1969
(where murder of gays was condoned, and all other gays I knew of were in the
closet), making any sort of dent in this bigotry was clearly impossible. I
decided to tackle it anyway, just because it felt better to tackle it than to
despair. I calculated it would take centuries to affect the change needed with
the lectures, radio and TV appearances I was doing. Yet to my utter astonishment
within 4 years we had the first human rights
legislation protecting gays here in BC. You never know if you could succeed
until you try. That gays can now marry would have sounded absolutely silly back
then.
- Most people don’t ever break new ground. However, they love jumping on
bandwagons. When you tackle the “impossible”, you create the
bandwagons of the future. You inspire others. Consider Gandhi.
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
~ Mahatma Gandhi (born: 1869-10-02 died: 1948-01-30 at age: 78)
Now Is The End
Not many people fret over the predicted end of the universe. Perhaps a few more
people are concerned about the sun expanding and frying the earth to a crisp,
scheduled in a few billion years. I personally fret considerably about my
species and life on earth going extinct or near extinct. Many people dread their
own personal death. Fruit flies don’t seem to look ahead much. They
happily set up shop on an apple that will be gone in a few days. Philosophically
you might say they value life, even if only a few days long. The trick is to
combine the fearlessness and optimism of the fruitflies with vigorous action to
preserve that which you cherish.
Looking Back
When I look back over my life, there are two things I would have done
differently.
- I would have taken my time at university more seriously. I got only that one
chance in my life to spend years doing nothing but learning in the best possible
environment. I would focus more on taking advantage of a chance to learn the
material for a lifetime, not just doing well on an exam.
- I would have not been so shy about asking for sex when the other party seemed to
be interested.
White Hat/Black Hat
We have all been raised on stories, TV and movies where there is a clear
distinction between the good guys and the bad guys. Sometimes, a movie like Bonnie
and Clyde will show the story from the bad guys’ point of view,
where they see themselves as the protagonists. Very few movies such as Beckett
show issues from more than one point of view. This dichotomous world view is
poor training for understanding politics, where there are no good guys and bad
guys, just many different groups each pursuing their own self interest, each
utterly convinced they are the good guys, ignoring their own faults and
magnifying those of their opponents. I cringe at the way even professional
politicians vilify Arabs as insane having no reasons at all for their opposition
to America. You can’t be an effective strategist until you can get inside
the heads of all your opponents/enemies, where everyone sees themselves as the
hero. If you are afraid to even understand an opponent, much less sympathise
with him, you won’t be able to come up with win-win solutions. Any other
sort of solution is temporary or at least unstable.
Woo Woo
I think it all but certain there is other life in the galaxy. It seems to me,
you should assume other parts of the universe are the same as here until proven
otherwise. We know elsewhere has the same physics and chemistry, so it seems
logical it should have something similar to our biology.
I also think it all but certain there is other intelligent life in the universe,
though it may only arise in brief sparks so that even one-way remote contact
between separate species may be exceedingly rare. Intelligence arose very
quickly on earth once mammals arose, and in several
species, and, on a geological timescale, looks headed for almost immediate
extinction.
I think there is some sort of extra sensory perception that allows remote
communication between people and communication from the people in the future. I
personally had a prophetic dream about 9/11 as did
many other people. I suspect somehow millions of people focussing over and over
on those same images of the planes flying into the towers broadcast them so
powerfully they could even be sensed backward in time. I don’t mean
something supernatural, just some weakly evolved ability we don’t
understand yet.
Finally, I suspect we each live in our own private universe, loosely connected
to everyone else’s. This might just be that minds halluciate their own
version of reality, or it may be deeper, that we actually live in different
quantum worlds where the events truly are different from other people’s
versions, but resonant with those of others, so they roughly match, though not
in the details. I explore this further in my Reality is a
Hallucination essay.
We have all seen the amazing power of stage hypnotists to fool people into
seeing things that are not there, but we tend to trust too easily reports of
people who were subject to hypnosis in other contexts, most commonly in
religious revival services, seances and political rallies. Even the healthy
human mind has incredible power to generate dramatic life-like hallucinations.
It is much more difficult to sort out what is real and what is imagined than we
presume.
Mandatory Freakishness
Back in the 1960s, Dr. Pat Greenwood, my advanced probability and statistics
prof was covering Markov Processes (a mathematical process with limited ability
to remember the history of what state it was in. Computers are a sort of Markov
process.). She explained the 0-1 law that made my hair stand on end with
excitement. Roughly speaking it is this: if an event has any probability of
happening at all, if you wait long enough it will happen with complete assurance.
Further, if you wait long enough it will repeat infinitely often, no matter how
freakishly weird the event. (Mind you, mathematicians are prepared to wait much
longer than the projected lifespan of the universe.)
In a less rarefied sphere, contrary to everyday intuition, uncommon events are
far from impossible. They are all but mandatory. Consider this experiment. Every
time you sit next to someone, ask the person if today is their birthday. The
odds in any given instance of asking and getting a yes (presuming people tell
the truth) are only 1 in 365.25
(some people are born on 02-29). If you do this 1000
times, your odds of never sitting beside someone on their birthday are 1
in 1 / Math.pow( 1 - 1/365.5, 1000 ) = 1
in 15.48. In other words, uncommon events are expected
to happen every once in a while. Something would be amiss if they did not happen.
Lay people don’t understand this. When an uncommon event (a coincidence)
happens, they imagine some sky god must have arranged it, or fate, or magic or
luck. They don’t accept that the coincidence is part of the day-to-day
workings of the universe, nothing special at all. This leads to pigeon
superstition.
Atheist Spirtuals
On 2008-12-14 I had a dream. A black gospel choir sang
an atheist spiritual called Show Me The Way, To Lay My Burdens Down.
There were no “Lord Lord”s and no “Jesus”s. It was a
about seeking acceptance of death. It presented this task as an interesting
challenge. Perhaps, someday, I could transcribe the MIDI for the melody which
might well be from a piece I heard before.
Midsomer Murders
Two of Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby’s partners in Midsomer Murders,
prior to Ben Jones, namely Gavin Troy and Dan Scott disappeared without a trace,
without comment, never mentioned again. I smell a coverup.
I also suspect Jessica Fletcher of Murder She Wrote of being a
serial murderer. The odds of somebody being murdered every time she comes to
visit happening purely by coincidence are astronomical. Anyone in their right
mind should immediately hang up the phone when they get a call announcing her
arrival. She is like the grim reaper.
While I am at it, there is something extremely fishy Ben Matlock and Perry Mason,
expensive attorneys, who only manage to attract innocent clients who have been
ingeniously framed.
I am Humbled
I have to laugh when an actress wins an award, or a politician wins an election,
and says “I am humbled…”. What nonsense is this! Winning is
an ego trip; losing is humbling. Getting too old to be horny — that
is humbling. Losing control of your bowels in public — that is humbling.
Perhaps what they mean to say is, “I am enjoying humbling the competitors
that I beat”. Perhaps what they mean is, “I thought someone else
would win.”.
Dream Sharers
A premise for a sci fi movie. Dream sharers are
psychic vigilante force who go after those too powerful to be brought to justice
otherwise, such as George W. Bush. They cause criminals to have nightmares about
being the victims of their own crimes. The criminals share the nightmares of
their victims reliving the crimes.
Japanese Wasps
I saw a documentary about 5 cm (1.97 in)
Japanese wasps. About 32 of them will attack a colony of about 30,000
honeybees and kill them all in about an hour. I often have nightmares about them.
I have also seen documentaries about ant slavery. A Polyergus queen for example,
use pheromone trickery to take over a hive and exploit them to raise young for
the Polyergus queen. If find this sort of “immoral” activity
disturbing, to see it built-in to life itself at so deep a level. I find myself
wishing for a way to wipe out or at least discourage such species. I wonder if
intelligent life elsewhere in the galaxy would look out my own species in the
same light.
M*A*S*H
In the many years M*A*S*H was on TV, never once did any character notice that
the wounded Korean war soldiers the doctors were patching up were killers
themselves, mindlessly killing for no reason. Never once did any character
notice that he was aiding and abetting that killing by patching up soldiers so
they could go back to killing people who had done nothing to the USA. They
portrayed the soldiers only as innocent victims, never once as people who chose
to play the war game who got hurt as a logical consequence of their own malice.
Life After Death
I don’t think modern day Christians truly believe in life after death. I
think they entertain it as an unlikely possibility. If they were serious, they
would behave much more like the devout in the middle ages.
I speculate sometimes that maybe after you die you are forced to reincarnate as
the being/species you despise most. I give a little shiver. Why do I do it?
Probably for the same reason some people like to go to horror movies.
What is behind this Christian fairy tale of after-death judgement?
- So you can imagine that all those who wronged you and got away with it will be
finally unmercifully punished.
- It helps you belief in eternal life, — it may be horrible, but it is still
life. It makes it more plausible. It is more like ordinary life in terms of
average wonderfullness.
- It lets you fantasise about some cosmic surprise party awaiting you where all
your secret desires will be fulfilled. Children call it daydreaming.
- Since the rules are much better for winning a lottery than entering heaven,
everyone who entertains the notion knows in their heart of hearts they are hell-bound.
If most people were convinced they were already heaven bound, they would not let
preachers drag them about by the nose. If you read the bible literally, you will
learn you have no chance at all. This makes even the most miserable life quite
pleasant compared with what is to come.
Being Dumped III
All animals, male and female, including human, look for mates with the highest
status/fitness. It is the Darwinian imperative to ensure survival of the
offspring. So when you are dumped, unless your bad behaviour is obvious, it is
not as though you were left, but rather that your mate found someone more
attractive whom they believed they had a chance of landing. There is no great
shame in this. It is utterly unrealistic to expect that you would be the highest
status person on the planet whom your mate figures he or she would have a chance
with. Some people imagine they would even have a chance with Brad Pitt or Sandra
Bullock.
Cut Flowers
Whenever I see a beautiful young person, or either sex, I feel a terrible
sadness, similar to the feeling I have beholding a vase of cut flowers, knowing
the freshness will last but days. I know how brutally quickly that beauty will
fade. The young person is completely unaware that old age will descend with the
suddenness of a car accident.
Routine
Most people resent routine repetitive tasks like house cleaning. Computer
scientists have a different way of looking at it. Computers are masters of
routine — repeating the same steps billions of times a second. The more
something is repeated, the more it pays off to figure out how to do it perfectly.
You can think of a routine activity as a second and third, and … chance
to correct your mistakes. Consider making a game of some routine tasks such as:
- Getting your self cleaned and groomed in the morning.
- Cleaning the dishes.
- Making various edits to documents.
See if you can get it down so that your movements flow like a cat without a
wasted movement.
Continuity of Consciousness
When people tackle the thorny problem of consciousness I think they make four
errors.
- They presume it must be something else, something less mysterious, perhaps a
kind of energy, electric field etc. I think it would be more productive to
presume, for now, that consciousness is its own thing, as different from an
electric field as time is, and start studying its properties.
- They presume it either exists all or nothing. I think it exists to different
degrees, within different people, within different species, or even within the
same person at different times. This difference admits the possibility of
measuring degrees of consciousness or at least measuring something highly
correlated with it. We might discover how to measure consciousness by looking
for things that correlate to a subjective measure of wakefulness. Only once you
can measure something can you do much serious theorising about it. Then boldly
apply those correlates to other species to estimate their degrees of
consciousness. I think we will discover consciousness exists in some form almost
everywhere in the tree of life. We have been blinded to it primarily by
religiously induced species chauvinism.
- They are overly influenced by the ancient religious soul theory of consciousness,
where a sort of vapourous homunculus parasite resides behind the eyes, and moves
from body to body transcending death. The illusion of continuity of
consciousness comes from the continuity of neural patterns and the all-is-familiar
signals the brain gives to consciousness. As far as I can tell, when I come out
of anaesthesia, I am newly minted. Granted I have memories of life before going
under, but I just seemed to pop into existence out of nothing. Similarly my
consciousness seems to gradually fade out of existence when I go under
anaesthesia. You might think of consciousness as like incarnations of a
operating system between boots on the same hardware. There is similarity between
incarnations but no continuity. The operating system RAM image does not go
anywhere between boots, There is nothing analogous of the soul hovering around
awaiting a suitable newly booting machine to infest. The OS image disappears and
is newly created on each boot.
- Because consciousness has proved so slippery to study, people like to just
ignore it and pretend it is not important.
Consciousness in the most important ontological question. After all, if we truly
imagine a world in where there is no subjective experience (a world in which
these is swirling stuff but no conscious entity to experience it,) that world
may as well not exist. In some philosophical traditions, both Eastern (certain
schools of Buddhist thought, for example), and Western (specifically, observer-based
interpretations of quantum mechanics), that is exactly how such a world in
regarded.
~ Ray Kurzweil (born: 1948-02-12 age: 61)
The Singularity Is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology
page 380
Mammalists
You have probably noticed that people care far more about horrible things
happening to those in their own country than they do when they happen to people
on the other side of the world. People have a similar bias toward mammals.
Consider the reaction to a man putting sharp hooks in balls of cat food, feeding
them to kittens and jerking them into the air for amusement, or farmers pouring
scalding water on horses to kill them, or teens running over puppies in their
cars to see how many they can squish. We think absolutely nothing of these same
acts of deliberate cruelty when the victims are fish, chickens or frogs. My eyes
tell me the amount of pain is no different. I studied zoology is high school,
and dissected many animals. All these animals have advanced nervous systems. I
see no reason to believe they are experiencing any less pain than they appear to
be.
Ray Kurzweil
In his book The Singularity Is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology
futurist Ray Kurzweil suggests the purpose of humanity is to spread its culture,
faster than the speed of light if possible, to fully occupy the entire universe.
To me this smacks of the desire of a young tom cat to mark its territory by
peeing on it.
The Fermi Paradox Revisited
The famous physicist Fermi noted that if there were even the slimmest chance of
a technological civilisation evolving, their presence should be visible
throughout the universe. Instead there is nothing but a great silence. What are
we to make of that? Here are some possible explanations:
- Efficiently encoded data is utterly indistinguishable from random noise. We may
be awash is a sea of intelligent radio and light communications, but without the
technology to detect, decode or decrypt them.
- We presume that advanced species will use radio transmissions. Advanced
civilisations may consider radio hopelessly primitive. They may not want to use
it for transmission since it would interfere with galactic observation, much as
astronomers want a light-free skyline or for aesthetic reasons. The cosmic FCC
quickly shuts down transmitters. We might be expecting a call any time now.
- The birth of an intelligent species may be a relatively rare event. They don’t
want to disturb us so they can study the process. Their technology would be
millions of years more advanced than ours. If they did not want us to see them,
we wouldn’t.
- We are the butt of a cosmic joke. We are so conceited that we imagine we are the
most intelligent species the universe even though we have only looked on one
other planet. Scientists estimate
there are a billion earth-like planets in our galaxy alone. This is so funny to
more advanced species that no wants to let us in on the truth that we are one of
billions of intelligent species, nothing out of the ordinary at all. In fact we
are not even the brightest species on earth, just the most technologically adept.
- As I suggested earlier, technology inevitably destroys its creator within a
century or two. We indeed are the only intelligent species in the galaxy, but by
no means the first.
- Virtual reality and artificial intelligence speeds up thinking and hence slows
down the experience of reality. To advanced civilisations, reality moves far too
slowly to hold any interest. All intelligent species have turned inward. They
are not interested in communication with dullards like us when sentences
communicated take eons of subjective time to exchange. We are ignored for the
same reason college student tend to ignore first graders.
- The universe is indeed a dangerous place. Like forest creatures in the night,
wise civilisations camouflage themselves and maintain silence.
- Tourists rarely go to Sudan. It is just too depressing. Earth’s barbarism,
which we decry, would be utterly unbearable to an advanced civilisation that had
never witnessed any form of violence. We are so revolting, that even the idea of
exchanging radio signals would be nauseating.
- Then there is the Kurzweil hypothesis that we are indeed the very first
intelligent civilisation. Somebody had to do it, just as somebody has to win the
lottery, even though there is nothing all that special about them. This still
smacks of religious jingoism and the religious view that the earth in the center
of the universe, the apple of God’s eye. I think it the least likely
explanation, even if on the face of it is seems the most obvious.
Sentimental Males
Women scorn shabbily dressed males, or men who drive old cars. They fail to
understand that men are sentimental about clothes and cars. These objects record
the memories of good times past. They fail to understand that men who are so
sentimental that they won’t discard a shirt, just because because it is
worn, likely won’t cast aside a partner just because her looks fade.
Male Happiness
One advantage of being a human male is that the requirements for happiness are
greatly simplified. 90% of what s needed is
to get your penis in your favoured type of hole a sort of organic golf.
Stress
Some people’s lives are so boring they feel the need to stimulate
themselves by artificially creating frustration and stress through game playing.
What would happen if instead of diverting themselves with pointless trivia, they
upped the difficulty of real-world problems they tackled?
The Nose Ring
There are not many things to be said in favour of old age, but one of them is an
acute awareness of how you have been dragged around all your life by a ring in
your nose — your hormones. It is amazing that you can getting anything
done at all in youth with that powerful distraction. We have thrown only the
thinnest veil of hypocrisy over our ruttings. Viewed from the relative
tranquility of old age, that thralldom appears somewhat disgusting, primitive,
irritating, juvenile, yet also the pulse of life that provides the motivation
for everything. The nostalgia for it can be unbearable.
Give Up
Give up! Don’t waste another millisecond trying to get love or parenting
from someone who doesn’t love you or want to parent you. It doesn’t
matter if they logically should want to or should feel morally
obligated to or have done so in the past. Immediately look elsewhere for a new
source of your psychological needs. Most people can barely scrape by making
their own lives work. They have little energy left over for the needs of others.
If you put your life on hold until you have rehabilitated basket-case parents
sufficiently they will be capable of running their own lives successfully and
parenting you, you are making the task of making your own life work
unnecessarily difficult.
Hand Guns
On 2008-06-26 the Supreme Court of the United States
ruled that Americans had a constitutional right to leave unlocked, loaded
handguns in their homes for “self defense” (even though the
constitution talked only of their use in a state militia). The defining feature
of an American is his intense desire to keep a gun at hand to kill people in his
home. Few other cultures, save the Nazis, were that attached to their guns.
Americans are well aware that handguns kill far more children than burglars.
What is the source of the intense attachment? I can think of two reasons:
- The materialist ethic is so strong that protecting property trumps protecting
the life of children.
- American men fantasise about murdering their wives and children. When they
finally do kill then, they want the ready excuse that they thought they were
burglars.
And Never the Twains Shall Meet
Metaphorically speaking, God played a cosmic joke on straight people. Men and
women have completely different tastes in decor, activities, food, music,
entertainment, vacations, tidiness, movies, hygiene, ways of spending money…
Yet they are still passionately attracted to each other. Even while they are
madly in love, they bitterly complain about the fundamental incompatibility.
Tribal and Muslim societies acknowledge the problem by largely segregating the
sexes, even after marriage. Again metaphorically speaking, God also played a
cosmic joke on gay people. The old are fatally attracted to the young who treat
them with contempt.
Hush
Animals are often highly territorial and aggressive to smaller creatures. It
seems prudent to presume other life in the galaxy is similar, and other
intelligent life could also be hostile like man. Yet we broadcast our existence
and our vulnerabilities to the galaxy with radio and TV signals, and with the
explosive emission of greenhouse gases. Even termites are smart enough to stay
hidden.
Children
One of the most delightful things about children is none of them have ever voted
Republican.
Aging
One of the most distressing events of getting old is waking up one morning and
noticing, that in the night, aliens have replaced your hands with some elderly
persons’.
We Are not Alone
Given the trillions of planets in the universe, and how life appeared almost the
instant the earth cooled, and how, man, a brand new species, reached the moon in
a twinkling of evolutionary time, I find it the Christian notion that we are
alone in the universe almost inconceivable. Why then don’t we see visitors?
- We have broadcast our presence for only about 70 years,
barely enough time to notify the closest stars.
- For the same reason tourism to Zimbabwe is unpopular.
- For the same reason people don’t travel to the other side of the world to
see a strip mall. Our sort of world may be as common as cosmic grass, not worth
exploring.
- Because Einstein was right, and the speed of light effectively enforces non-interference.
- Because like biologists, visitors do their utmost to remain hidden so they can
watch the natural behaviour of earth’s inhabitants.
- Visitors send probes not physical bodies. They might send nanobots or other
forms we would not recognise as life.
- They may well visit. However, if anyone reports seeing an alien life form, we
dismiss that person as a kook, even when there are tens of thousands of such
people. This ridicule discourages people from reporting encounters, reinforcing
the notion that only nutcases ever have such encounters. It becomes impossible
to scientifically research the topic without being dismissed as crazy.
- Intelligent life inevitably destroys itself with war before it develops the
technology to explore the stars. So newly emerged intelligent life almost never
finds neighbours.
What a Different A Word Makes
If a wolf kills a young caribou, and a crow comes by and feasts on the corpse,
we say the crow dines on carrion. This is especially
true if the wolf has left and the corpse has rotted a bit. Yet when a butcher
kills a castrated bull, and allows the meat to “age” (tenderise by
bacterial breakdown) for a month or two, before somone else eats it, we would
not likely term that “eating carrion”
Similarly not many of us would dream of drinking the liquid secretions of the
sweat glands of domesticated antelopes, but don’t blink an eye when we
call it “milk” and serve it in a non-recyclable plastic jug.
Most of us find the thought of chowing down on the arthropods (spiders,
scorpions, insects) quite revolting, yet most of us feast happily on crabs,
lobsters and shrimp which are simply the marine members of the phylum. It is as
illogical as eating salmon but refusing to eat trout on the grounds they are too
disgusting.
Wealth Imagination
There are a few people, who on gaining great wealth, show some corresponding
imagination in spending it. I include:
- Bill Gates: eliminating malaria and AIDS.
- Andrew Carnegie: building libraries in all the major urban centers of his time.
- George Soros: taking down George Bush.
- Building unique homes, particularly ones that have minimal impact on the
environment.
- a middle-aged cosmetic dentist whose name I cannot recall in Montréal:
setting up a music studio for the use of the poor youth of Montréal North.
Most spend it on conspicuous consumption with no more intelligence than a high
school drop out:
- lavish parties.
- drugs and alcohol.
- designer clothing.
- excessively large homes.
- yachts that just sit at dock.
- expensive cars.
- excessive food.
- buying off people to pretend to be friends.
Why Americans Hate the Government
When we Canadians hear Americans fulminating against the evil of “the
govmint”, we imagine they are a bit crazy. However, the American
government is not the same sort of animal as the Canadian government.
There are good reasons for people to hate and fear it.
- The bureaucracy. The United States is a much older country. It was formed by the
coming together of independent states, each with its own unique bureaucratic
style, that lives on to this day, foiling attempts to this day at computerised
streamlining. For example, in Louisiana, sales
tax collection is farmed out to a private businessman in each parish who
publishes his own website explaining the rules and rates. There is no table
consolidating this information for the entire state. In contrast, in Canada all
a cash register needs to know is two numbers, the federal GST rate, and the
provincial PST rate of the home province. All you need to know about sales tax
for all of Canada can be summed up in a table of a dozen numbers. The equivalent
information for the USA is available as a subscription from a service bureau for
per year.
I once met an American at a New Year’s eve party. It turned out we were
both writing tenders for roughly million dollar computer systems for quasi
governmental bodies. We both complained about all the required the legalese and
government regulations. We decided to swap tenders to see who had it worse. His
was ten times thicker. It even had clauses about washrooms.
Then there is the matter of medical billing — something that requires
rooms full of clerks in every American hospital, carfefully tracking every
aspirin. In Canada there are no such staff. Since there is a single payer, it is
all electronic and greatly stripped down. Dealing with a broken leg might
require 15 keystrokes at most. A hospital admission takes about 5 seconds.
- The USA has ten times the population of Canada. That means the bureaucracies are
more than ten times bigger with even more layers to grind to a halt.
- The USA has elected judges who face periodic reelection. Canada has appointed
judges who cannot be removed except for gross misconduct. That means the
judicial system in the USA tends to do what is currently popular, even if unjust
to a currently unpopular minority.
- The Canadian parliamentary party-discipline system generates periodic sweeps
where every politician in the government is swept from power. In the USA,
changes are usually incremental. Even a politician in an American minority party
is still powerful and still worth bribing. An American thus feels he has less
power to punish and control his politicians.
- The USA has a huge military and uses it to dominate the world in a rather
roughshod way. This creates enemies and leads to paranoia such as the Joe
McCarthy Commie-under-the-bed era or the currently fashionable fear of Muslims.
This leads to reckless abandonment of civil liberties and constitutional
safeguards. Canada is too small to pose much of a threat internationally, though
its oil wealth could lead it astray in future. The result in American government
tends to be paranoid and manic-depressive and the Canadian phlegmatic.
The Approval Drug
One of the fastest routes to misery is seeking public approval. No matter what
you do, somebody out there will consider you an utter bounder for it and phone
in a death threat. You have to give yourself approval. In former times,
people called this “doing the will of God” as opposed to succumbing
to worldly temptations. But even then, there were 10,000
jealous gods commanding dreadful acts of cruelty, so even then you could not win.
Today we might call it “doing the right thing”. The alternative is
to become a slave to those who hand out the approval, or to cower like a mouse,
afraid to do anything of note, trying deperately to camouflage yourself out of
existence.
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress
depends on the unreasonable man.
~ George Bernard Shaw (born: 1856-07-26 died: 1950-11-02 at age: 94)
Salmon Run
Consider the gauntlet that salmon endure to spawn. They have to make it past
seals, orcas and commercial fisherman in the ocean. There are the sports
fishermen, bears, eagles, native spear fishers, nets… There is the
pollution, torrents, waterfalls and mud. Only an elite few make it few, battered
to spawn the entire next generation. The whole process reminds be of third
worlders seeking to immigrate to the rich countries. They have to accumulate
sufficient money for the journey working in a country where daily wages are
measured in pennies. They must survive police, guards, dogs, deserts, snakeheads,
gangs, robbers… They have to somehow make it to the promised land, find
under-the-table work, aquire id, camouflage themselves as legitimate immigrants
and never get caught. Only the very strongest and smartest make it.
Teaching Sadism
Think of the ways we try to stomp the natural compassion out of children, how we
teach them to enjoy the suffering of others.
- Punch and Judy shows where whacking a baby with a sticks is presented as amusing.
- America’s Funniest Videos where people having accidents are
presented with silly voices and zany music to teach children to see others in
pain as entertainment.
- Video games where children kill by the score and defecate on the corpses.
- Cartoons where characters attempt to kill each other in the most painful way
possible.
- Pro wrestling matches where actors pretend to permanently injure one another and
pretend to be in unbearable pain.
- Fights leading to permanent brain injury as part of pro sports, especially
hockey.
- Extended kung fu and other extreme fight scenes, which in real life would have
resulted in fatalities, in nearly every TV drama.
Violence as entertainment is so pervasive in our society, we don’t even
notice what we are teaching our kids.
The aim of military training is not just to prepare men for battle, but to make
them long for it.
~ Louis Simpson (born: 1923-03-27 age: 86)
Lasting Relationships
Here is my advice on how to have a lasting relationship. I have said this in
similar words before, but it bares repeating:
- Make sure you give your partner some physical pleasure every day, in the form they
like. It might be a literal back scratch, a foot massage, a hug or coffee in bed.
- Be at least as polite as you would be to a stranger.
- Listen to their petty complaints about you. If they ever leave you, that will be
the real reason why.
Humiliation Rituals
Have you noticed how humiliation has become the national sport of America? Some
examples include:
- Donald Trump and “You’re fired!”.
- American Idol where the week’s loser is publicly shamed then kicked off
the show with the camera glued to his face to catch every nuance of distress.
- The Jerry Springer Show where couples tell the nation every embarrassing fact (or
fiction) they can come up with about their ex.
- The Maury Povich Show where young women are humiliated when their promiscuity is
exposed in detail to the nation as DNA test after DNA test fails to find the
father of their child.
- The frequent use of the terms kick ass and kick butt.
- Giving college students ten times more work than they can possibly complete,
then shaming those who crack under the pressure and drop out.
- America invades tiny third world countries and grinds them under its heel.
Forgetfulness of Money
What did people do before the invention of money? They tracked who had done whom
a favour. They made allowance for disability and unusual capability to
contribute. In general, people helped each other, unless they couldn’t.
Everyone knew how much each was contributing and and how much each was consuming,
and used social pressure to keep this in reasonable balance. People did not move
far from where they were born, so everyone knew everyone else quite well. There
was no way to pull a dirty trick or to do an unusually good turn without
everyone knowing about it. Reputation was thus more important then than today.
The immense convenience of the invention of money allowed even total strangers
to safely do business. When a man walks into a country club and asks to join,
money erases the history how he came by it. He may be a faith healer, swindler,
gambler, speculator, monopolist, advertising executive, embezzler, Ken Lay, Dick
Cheney, Conrad Black, drug dealer, arms dealer, thief, bribe taker, blackmailer
etc. someone who came by the money without providing a service to others. Or he
made have toiled producing food, goods, services, inventing, entertaining,
managing in any one of millions of ways of serving his fellow beings or his
planet. What is most peculiar is even when we know how a person came by his
money, we tend to treat all equally, honouring the wealthy crooks with just as
much respect as the wealthy Nobel prize winners. Before the invention of money,
we would have ostracised the crooks, not idolised them.
Mosquitos
From the point of view of a mosquito, the universe is a banquet laid out by God
for their exclusive use. The sole purpose of humans is to supply blood to
mosquitos. They are much like Nazis or Americans who imagine planet earth’s
resources are for their exclusive use and they have the right to take them by
force or treachery from anyone.
Desecrating Graves
On 2008-04-26, somebody wrote the letters FLQ (Front
de libération du Québec) the name of a defunct separatist group,
on the mausoleum of Pierre Trudeau, a former prime minister of Canada. The
country is up in arms. I find this a gross overreaction, ironically giving the
vandal just what he wanted. Had the vandal written this on Mr. Trudeau’s
door while Trudeau were still alive, it would not even have made the local
papers. There is weird superstition that insulting the dead is somehow more
hurtful than insulting the living. Nobody felt the least compulsion to refrain
from insulting or criticising Mr. Trudeau while he was alive. In a similar way,
Americans were far more upset that the Iraqi resistance dragged the corpses of
American soldiers behind a truck than had the Iraqis done so while the soldiers
were still alive. A number of people threatened to kill me when I criticised the
actions of Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan. Yet they are only mildly
disgruntled when I criticise the actions of living ones. It does not seem to
matter that the dead soldiers never even heard my condemnation of their deeds.
Dead people are no more saintly than living ones. It is a goofy Kristian
superstition that the dead feel pain both physical and emotional and require
special protection we don’t extend to the living.
If you are Dumped
Especially if you have issues with the abandonment lifetrap,
likely the most painful thing that will ever happen to you in your life is you
will be dumped suddenly. Oddly, in your entire education, your teachers never
spent so much as an hour on how to deal with this blow. Here is a crash course:
- Getting dumped happens to nearly everyone. It is just others handle it better
than you and are better at concealing their hurt.
- Don’t expect others to be particularly solicitous. To them, the dumper’s
flaws are blatantly obvious. They don’t feel your insane attraction. To
everyone else, the solution is obvious, move on; forget the past. The dumper is
not worth wasting any more emotional energy on.
- No matter how attractive the person who dumped you appears to you now, they are
not the only person for you.
- You probably feel totally blindsided. With time, you will gradually recognise
the many forewarnings they gave you.
- The dumper had mixed feelings about leaving you. That is why they had to
convince themselves you were an ogre, to cement their resolve.
- The dumper is not your one and only true love. Your true love would not
treat you that badly.
- When someone tells you they hate asparagus, does that provide information about
them or about asparagus? When your lover dumps you and says they hate you with a
ferocious intensity and always have, is that an accurate, unbiased evaluation of
you and your future relationship potential with all others? Of course not! It is
a heat-of-the-moment venting.
- Before you get involved with someone, find out if they make a habit of suddenly
cutting off old lovers, friends or acquaintances. If they do, you will
eventually be on the list.
- A dumper is someone too immature to take the time to dissolve a relationship
gracefully, with consideration for the feelings of all concerned. It requires
kindness and patience. Being dumped is a bit like taking a spoonful of oatmeal
in the eye flung by a two-year old. Don’t take it seriously!!!
- Watch the Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos, Montel Williams and Maury Povich daytime
trashy TV shows. You will see dumpers from hell beating up on exes who usually
do not deserve such abuse. You don’t deserve it either. Note how in every
case the dumpee is well to be rid of such a shrew/slut/bully/sadist. The same
applies to you!
Sci Fi Anomalies
Science fiction so often jars me with its logical inconsistency. For example:
- On Star Hunter, the holographic communications have more
interference than ’50s TV through rabbit ears.
- On Star Trek Next Generation, the new species they encounter always
use compatible cell-phones and speak 20th century American English.
- On the original Star Trek, the advanced communication system did
not include a caller id feature.
- The replicators can’t create spare parts for the engines or medicines.
- Fireballs from explosions move in slow motion making it possible to outrun them.
- In Star Wars, no one has yet invented automatic target lockon, or
computer controlled navigation.
- Humans, a recently evolved intelligent species, are always able to outsmart any
other species they encounter.
- When Spock announces a probability of survival to 4 decimal places, no matter
how close to 0, you know all the regular actors will survive intact for the next
episode or sequel.
Deja Vu
I am astounded how rapidly technology advanced once the notion of it got started.
Even ancient societies seemed to rapidly develop such technologies as astronomy
and masonry. It looks as if our technological civilisation will self-destruct
within another hundred years. Technology seems like a century plant that lies
dormant and then every once in many, many decades blooms for a night. This led
me to wonder if a technological civilisation like ours, with an understanding of
quantum mechanics and electronics, has ever evolved then quickly self-destructed,
so thoroughly that it erased its tracks. I have seen some tantalising hints in
global mythology. I asked a paleontologist friend what paleontologists far in
the future might find remaining of our civilisation to mark its passing. She
replied “bricks”.
Relative Cosmetology
Other than the Geishas of early Japan, there is a group that engages in tooth darkening
cosmetology. They treat their teeth with a scalding hot dark brown dye up to ten
times a day. Some resort to burning the brown leaves of a toxic plant and
inhaling the sticky tars to stain their teeth. This tribe are commonly known as
Americans.
The Cosmic Etch-A-Sketch
The history of life on earth is like a cosmic Etch-A-Sketch. Life doodles theme
and variations in abundance, then something comes to shake the earth to all but
erase the profusion, be it an astroid hitting, or a species too intelligent for
its own good. Then, after a brief recovery period of 10 million years or so, it
starts doodling in earnest again, but with slightly less exuberance than before.
We arrogant humans imagine the that extinction of man is synonymous with the
extinction of life.
The Devolution of Competition
Ecosystems that have not been disturbed for long periods of time (whether by
humans or natural disasters) tend to read a state of dynamic equilibrium which
ecologists call a climax phase, meaning that organisms
have adapted themselves to one another in such a way as to avoid direct
competition, to keep energy flow-through to a minimum, and to recycle energy
flow and nutrients as completely as possible. They have formed, to use an
anthropomorphic term, a community.
~ Richard Heinberg (born: 1950-10-21 age: 59)
 |
recommend book⇒Party’s Over: Oil, War, and the Fate of Industrial Societies |
| | paperback |
|---|
| ISBN13: | 978-0-86571-529-5 |
|---|
| publisher: | New Society Publishers |
| published: | 2005-06-01 |
| by: | Richard Heinberg |
| Predicting chaos unless the U.S. — the world’s foremost oil consumer — is willing to join with other countries to implement a global program of resource conservation and sharing, he also recommends a “managed collapse”, that might make way for a slower-paced, low-energy, sustainable society in the future. website. The opening chapters of the book give a lucid, simple, but not simplistic recap of the basic physics, biology, history and ecology you need to know as background to understand the energy crunch. When I was reading this section, it dawned on me that most Americans are completely ignorant of this basic science. That is why they approach the energy and global warming problem is such a superstitious and irrational way. |
|
In
other words, animals over time learn to avoid direct competition, because
competing wastes too much energy. Animals evolve to avoid competition by
specialising to stay out of each others’s way. In a similar way, bloody
battles for mates eventually evolve into dancing competitions. Even human
executives do this. Competition between corporations gradually tends over time
to devolve into informal co-operation and price fixing and only ritual
competitivness. Competition in a capitalist system must be fostered. It does not
maintain itself naturally.
 |
recommend book⇒Evolution of Cooperation |
| | paperback | hardcover |
|---|
| ISBN13: | 978-0-14-012495-8 | 978-0-465-02122-2 |
|---|
| publisher: | Penguin |
| published: | 1990-04-26 |
| by: | Robert M. Axelrod |
| Using computer modeling Axelrod discovers the power of a simple tit for tat strategy in dealing with others. He also discovers the mathematical conditions under which people co-operate, collude, compete, aid each other or refuse to offer reasonable assistance. He also explains the mathematics of why corporations tend toward price-fixing and other co-operative behaviour with their competitors. |
|
Atrocities
The atrocities of the Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan are nothing new. They
are a direct consequence of imbalance of power. Americans overwhelm their
victims in technology and wealth. That power necessarily corrupts. Humans, not
just Americans, are hard wired to abuse excessive power over others. It took 500
years for the atrocities of the Spanish Conquistadors to become widely known.
Spaniards, Nazis, Russians, Americans… like all humans, are deeply in
denial of their own atrocities. They work hard to keep them hidden and to attack
those who expose them.
“The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by
his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.
~ George Orwell (born: 1903-06-25 died: 1950-01-21 at age: 46)
War as a Game
When animals fight, it is over territory. They also have ritual battles to
determine whose genes will sire the next generation, but rarely are the
combatants seriously injured. When human leaders fight, it is over territory,
natural resources and national prestige. When ordinary humans fight it is much
like a football game. They fight to the death simply because their side is
fighting. They root for the home team, no matter how badly the home team has
behaved. Even Nazi mothers were proud of their sons. Even the mothers of serial
killers (both civilian and military) insist that their sons are innocent of any
wrongdoing. In humans, team loyalty nearly always trumps justice.
Unscrupulous leaders like John McCain, Dick Cheney and George Bush exploit this
naivety and urge their fellows on to greater illegal mayhem, simply for national
pride and the supposed shame of losing/withdrawing/calling off the attack. They
trick their fellows into expensive wars, with no prizes to be gained from
pursuing them. McCain, Cheney, Bush and their backers reap hundreds of billions
in war profits. Their dupes reap a lifetime of sorrow and guilt.
“The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by
his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.
~ George Orwell (born: 1903-06-25 died: 1950-01-21 at age: 46)
Respect
It quite enough to expect that we tolerate each other and our various
customs. It is wrong to demand we pretend to respect each other’s
delusions, which includes all religions and cults.
Naming
How could you name children in a gender-equal way? In Canada where I live, a
child receives the surname of his or her father. In Iceland, a child receives
the surname of his or her mother. In old Norse, a child received the surname of
his father’s given name, e.g. Lief Eric’s-son. Politically correct
couples try to solve the problem by concatenating the mother and father’s
surnames, e.g. Blumé-Temoin This solution won’t work for successive
generations since the length of surnames would double with each generation. So
here is my proposed solution modeled on the Spanish convention. When a person
marries, they acquire a second surname. So, for example, when Mary Smith marries
John Jones, she becomes Mary Smith de Jones, and he become John Jones de Smith.
A female child takes the surname of her mother, e.g. Smith. A male child the
surname of his father, e.g. Jones. If the father is unknown, a male child takes
the surname of his mother. The naming system parallels the way it is possible to
trace the purely matrilineal line, mother of mother of mother, or the pure
patrilineal line using DNA, but it much harder to trace the mixed ancestors.
Nostalgia
Scientists tell us they are on the brink of extending life to 200+ years. I don’t
think I could bear it. The nostaglia would be far too intense. Actuaries tell us
that even with medical technologly allowing an infinite lifespan, the average
age of death would be only 200 — from death by misadventure. As a result,
we would become too fanatically concerned with safety to enjoy our lives,
putting on helmets to climb the stairs.
Fairness
Life is fundamentally unfair. Some people are better looking, healthier and
wealthier even when they put no more effort into it than anyone else. Others
have to bear poverty, ill health, deformity, disease or minority status through
no fault of their own. You can make yourself unnecessarily miserable or even
crazy if you deny this fundamental fact of life. Christians are wont to denial
on the grounds of wishful thinking or logical consistency — how could a
loving God possibly have created such an unfair universe? Hindus rationalise it
with their notion of reincarnation. Christians imagine misfortune is caused by
God punishing secret sins. Acknowledging the unfairness is not to say you accept
it or approve of it. You can’t do anything about a problem until you stop
pretending it does not exist.
Industriousness
Before the industrial revolution, man depended on manual labour for agriculture.
Everyone had to work hard from dawn till dark, or people would literally starve
to death. Industrious was prized at the most important virtue. Sloth and
idleness were serious sins. Today we still highly value industriousness.
Conservatives still advocate leaving to die those who are not sufficiently
productive. We reward with billion dollar salaries the CEOs whose companies most
industriously produce goods, mine minerals, consume energy, promote consumption,
gobble resources, pollute the air, soil and water, erode the soil, log and pave
the forests, pump greenhouse gasses into the air, and that holiest of all
activities — “stimulate” the economy (i.e. increase optional
consumption). We most admire the rich and famous who excel at flamboyant, novel
and conspicuous waste. The planet is reeling from the onslaught of these type A
individuals.
Oops, maybe industriousness is not such a virtue any more.
A Tibetan and an Amazon river basin tribesman were each asked what they thought
of western civilisation. Oddly, they gave identical answers. They replied, “What
is the matter with your women? They are supposed to stop the men. Everyone knows
when you let men cut down trees, they don’t know when to stop.”
We need new values.
- It is good to leave a light ecological footprint.
- It good to live comfortably consuming the least amount energy and goods.
- It is good to discourage others from wasteful habits.
We need to start throwing virtual tomatoes at the dinosaurs who are still
frantically working hard to destroy the planet.
Idea Contagion
I have often wondered how a truly nutty idea like Naziism, Christianity or
fanatical Islam can take hold of a population. Notice that such ideas get little
traction in areas where there are only a few adherents. Yet when the idea
reaches critical mass, it takes over the entire population, even including
people who ought to know better. Man has sheep genes. He does not like to be at
odds with his fellows in his beliefs.
Small Minded Cruelty
There is something so petty, small-minded and cruel about a society that forbids
sex only to those in the stage of life who want it most badly.
Ambiguity
English is so ambiguous, e.g. “I don’t want a car.” can have
at least five meanings:
no current need
I don’t want a taxi just now. I am not going anywhere.
no need
I live on an tiny island. What on earth would I do with a car?
no lack
I don’t want for a car. I am fully satisfied in the car department. I have
3 vehicles already.
would prefer something else
Dear sugar daddy, I want diamonds, not a Rolls.
active rejection
I detest cars. They pollute and the repair people are all crooks. I wouldn’t
take one if you gave it to me.
Since I think in English, this muddied ambiguity infects my thinking too. It is
not necessarily clear even to myself when I say “I don’t want a car.”.
Intuition
Anyone not shocked by quantum mechanics has not yet understood it.
~ Niels Bohr (born: 1885-10-07 died: 1962-11-18 at age: 77)
Many people seem to think our scientific theories of the very small and very
large cannot be true because our intuition rejects them as absurd. Ask the
question the other way around. Why does our intuition work so well on the mid
size? We evolved in a 3D, mid-sized world, dominated by a tiny frequency band of
sunlight and nasty predators. We needed a brain with computational shortcuts for
dealing with it. We never had the need to evolve the intuition “modules”
to deal instantly with a broader world, the quantum small, the cosmic large or
4D. We can deal with them, but only with the ponderous tools of mathematics.
Conceivably within a century, you might be able to get such intuition modules
installed. This could lead to a period of rapid breakthrough since the behaviour
of the mico and macroscropic universe would become obvious.
Impotence
I think most people give up too easily to work for world peace, end world hunger
or save the environment because they have preposterously high expectations. They
imagine if they work for a few days then the world should noticeably
change, as if they were some sort of deity. You are one of 6 billion people. If
you manage to have any more than 1/6,000,000,000 of the total human effect on
how the planet runs, you are doing better than average. Pat yourself on the back,
even if you can’t see the effect.
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
~ Mahatma Gandhi (born: 1869-10-02 died: 1948-01-30 at age: 78)
The oceans were created one raindrop at a time. The pyramids were built one
stone at a time. Be glad there are so many millions of others working on your
project too so that the end result will be far more magnificent than anything
you could possibly have accomplished alone.
It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You
have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time,
that there’ll be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the
right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you
do nothing, there will be no result.
~ Mahatma Gandhi (born: 1869-10-02 died: 1948-01-30 at age: 78)
Admiring Bodies
Admiring bodies is like admiring butterflies or flowers. You must do it purely
for the moment.
Enjoyment
Here are three tricks to enjoying your life:
- Learn to get off on little things, like the pleasant feeling of a brush on your
scalp, or warm water on your back in the bath.
- Do what you like doing. So many people slave away at pointless jobs they detest.
- When trivial stuff upsets you, ask yourself, if we were about to be nuked in 10
minutes, would this matter? Where does this fit in the hierarchy of cosmic
significance?
Wealth
I am continually baffled why people who hog 500
times the normal size of slice of the world resource pie are considered
admirable. Surely they should be ostracised as gluttons, thieves or con men.
There is no way anyone deserves a 500
times bigger slice of the pie than others. There is no conceivable amount of
labour they could perform to justify that. When someone accumulates that kind of
money, they had to cheat. They either got away with some criminal act
such as theft, gouging, confidence games or monopoly or they found some legal
loophole in the monetary system to trick others into giving without compensating
return.
Even worse, when these people commit conspicuous consumption or conspicuous
waste, they are committing an environmental crime; they are deliberately
despoiling the environment. When they overconsume, others have to go without.
What is admirable about that? Even at the height of the famine in 1985,
Ethiopian farmers were growing strawberries for the breakfast tables of the
world’s wealthy.
UFOs
I find it strange when people tell me they don’t believe in UFOs (Unidentified
Flying Objects). What do they
believe? That every flying object has been identified? That every flying object
not identified was a hallucination? That there are no new types of flying
objects to be discovered? Surely not.
Last Days
Unless you die suddenly of a heart attack, you will probably end your days in
bed unable to do anything much but read or watch TV. Yet many people paddle
furiously all their lives to amass a fortune they won’t ever need. You won’t
have any need at all for a big house, a big car, lavish meals, a private jet or
jewelry. Perhaps it would make more sense to enjoy life with all its varied
activities while you still have your health, especially exploratory travel.
Cash Back
I avoid any company that offers me cash back. They are
trying to pull a fast one, and this is just the first of many ways they will
attempt to screw me. A cash back scheme has six disadvantages:
- You pay more sales tax than had they just reduced the price.
- When you have to mail in the rebate request, you find you need copies of
receipts, packing boxes, and anything they can think of you might have discarded
to void the offer.
- Most of the time the company refuses to pay the rebate, claiming it is expired.
They will just sit on your application for 6 months to
make sure.
- You won’t get your money until many months later if ever.
- They are counting on the process of getting your rebate will be so onerous you
won’t bother.
- The handling costs the company much more than just reducing the price. They are
screwing you out of that difference. This is also true of preferred customer
cards that add to processing costs and make checkout lines longer.
Leadership
Society overvalues leadership. A society of egotists each dead set on dragging
everyone along their way won’t get anywhere. On the other paw, a
society of sheep is vulnerable to an evil or incompetent leader, like Hitler or
Bush, whom they blindly follow simply because he is the designated leader. What
you need are people who will fully co-operate so long as the leader is going in
roughly the right direction, but who will dig in their heels when they believe
he is taking them in a foolish direction. There is a superfluity of would-be
leaders motivated mainly by desire for limelight. The true power is in the
seconder, who selects the best approach and champions it.
Games
When baby animals play, it is obvious to us they are rehearsing adult activity.
It has a serious purpose. Likewise, when we arrange activities for young humans,
we are teaching them to rehearse adult activities, for example:
- dolls: care of children.
- board games: strategy, keeping track of money.
- basketball: teamwork
- music videos: sexual flirtation
- listening to music: drugs, crime
- hockey: fighting, revenge
- video games: killing, raping, stealing
- football: war, turning an arbitrary goal into a life or death pursuit.
I am surprised parents are so careless about the lessons they give their
children.
9/10 Empty
Have you ever opened a package to discover it was 9/10 empty. Why did the
manufacturer do that?
- To deceive you into thinking you were getting more product that you were.
- To make the product take up more shelf space so that you would me more likely to
notice it.
- To provide more surface area on the package for advertising images.
Manufacturers continue these unethical and wasteful practices because they are
more competitive. They won’t stop to consider the ethical or environmental
effects until there are honest and frugal packaging laws. Such laws won’t
harm manufacturers, so long as there is a level playing field. Such laws will
actually make them more profitable since they won’t need to waste so much
money on excess packaging.
Hell
I have no experience with other life in other parts of the universe to compare.
Statistically, earth is probably just average. However, I can’t help but
feel in my gut that earth is one of the more hellish planets. What on earth
possesses us humans to do such things as:
- Refuse to allow those in unbearable suffering to die in peace in the manner they
wish. We would never dream of such cruelty to a terminally ill puppy.
- Kill, torture, maim, rape or steal from each other in war and claim we do it for
altruistic motives.
- Wage all out war on nature trying to kill off every last species. We happily
steal the food supply or habitat of any other species, even for the most
trifling convenience (e.g. for fashion).
- Fight to the death with each other over made up stories about an all-loving
deity.
- Honour military serial killers with medals and treat with utmost disdain those
who take pleasure from anything but the most humdrum sex.
- Claw each other for more wealth to the point of harming ourselves with
overconsumption, denying others life, and destroying the ecosystem that sustains
us all.
Perhaps it is for the best that we humans are destroying the ecosystem that
sustains us. Perhaps sacrificing even a whole planet is a worthwhile sacrifice
to prevent us humans from spreading like a cancer throughout the galaxy. Earth
will recover from the blow we inflicted in another 10 million years, an eye
blink in geological time. You could think of man as failing a difficult test,
one a species must pass before proving himself worthy to colonise space. He must
get into space without destroying his home world first.
Whipped
As a gay man, I feel sorry for straight men. They are so pathetically needy for
sex and the approval of women they will twist themselves into all manner of
unnatural shapes hoping women will approve. Unfortunately, most women don’t
like men the way they come out the box. They can’t stand men unless they
pretend to be tame, domestic and completely monogamous, quite unlike the way men
are naturally. They guilt trip them into thinking there is something wrong with
being male. Eventually a man who contorts himself this way rebels, and ends up
hating his female partner for tricking him into wasting his years as a mere
shadow of his authentic self. She is baffled. She had no idea of her
transforming power over him.
Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou has one of the great voices of the planet. It feels like warm water
poured over my back in the bath. Somehow just listening to her say ordinary
things with her beautiful precision restores my faith in humanity. A religious
person might explain it as like being in the presence of a saint. Some of the
other delightful voices include Barbara Jefford, Peter O’Toole, Michael
Yorke, James Earl Jones, Christopher Plummer, Sean Connery, Kelly LeBrock,
Leonard Cohen, Roberta Flack, Judy Collins, Felicity Kendal, Michael Caine and
Sebastian Spence.
Planetary Despair
Especially after viewing a documentary like What
A Way To Go: life at the end of empire it is hard not to despair at how our
fellow humans are so dead set on destroying the planet and with it all or nearly
all of human kind. Here are some ways to cushion the emotional blow:
- There are 6 billion people on earth. Properly your share of the enormous task of
saving planet earth is only 1/6 billionth of the job. Since most people are
deadbeats or actively evil, your share increases to perhaps 1 billionth of the
job. Do you think you can bear a burden that heavy?
- You don’t have to do everything. You can pick out tiny part of the problem.
Other people will handle the rest.
- The earth has had multiple mass extinctions in past. Life recovered after about
10 million years. That sounds a very long time to a human, but is not that much
in geologic time.
- Humans are just another animal. When locusts, lemmings or tent caterpillars
overpopulate and strip their environment, we don’t weep when their
populations crash back down to sustainable levels. We are mildly relieved. Why
should we react to a human population explosion and crash any differently? Look
at this not as a human, but from the perspective of all life on earth. Life will
give a collective gasp of relief when humans are humbled.
- Humans surpassed the sustainable population about the time of the American civil
war when the world population was 1 billion. The 5 billion we have added since
then have been only temporarily sustained by the cheap energy of non-renewable
fossil fuel.
- We expect far too much of our fellow humans. Even though humans can rationally
predict the consequences of their actions, they are still motivated by ancient
drives for power, sex, food, territory just like other animals. We humans are
incapable of acting in our own best interest, even when we are aware of what we
are doing to hurt ourselves. We get in trouble because our technology magnifies
our power to endlessly satisfy unslakable lusts. Imagine humans as monkeys
playing with guns, cars, explosives or an assembly line pumping out an endless
and overwhelming supply of bananas. Humans too, are driven by their standard
monkey motivations. It can be comic.
- Let us presume we are doomed. It truly is hopeless. We are all going to die, and
take most of the species of earth with us in any one of a dozen plausible
scenarios. In the meantime, will you feel better wallowing in despair or taking
action on the off chance it might make things better? I started gay lib back in
1969 when everyone was opposed to me, even the gays. People were so opposed that
about 300 of them called to shower me with abuse each day, and about three of
them each day threatened my life. (To put it in perspective, Martin Luther King
got 40 death threats a day.) I did it just because it felt right to protest the
injustice. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my actions would make any
difference. Yet within two years we had the first gay rights legislation. You
never know. People are herd animals. They can turn on a dime, even after
centuries of bovine stupidity.
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
~ Mahatma Gandhi (born: 1869-10-02 died: 1948-01-30 at age: 78)
- Many years ago I asked my Dad why he sometimes bought lottery tickets. I said, “Surely
you now the exected value of the ticket is less than half the ticket price. On
average you lose money.” He replied that he did not see lottery tickets as
an investment, but as entertainment. With the ticket you could imagine how fun
it would be to win. Without a ticket you could not. Saving the world works the
same way.
- There was once a priest who prayed every day for 50
years to win the lottery. He wailed at God that an upright fellow such as he
surely deserved the prize. God in frustration finally thundered back, “You
could at least have made it a little easier for me by buying a ticket.”
Saving the world works the same way. And I mean saving it literally, preventing
its utter destruction.
- Scientists tell us there are trillions of planets in the universe. Weeping over
the failure of earth to thrive is like gnashing over your teeth over the failure
of a single dandelion seedling.
“One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total
extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
~ Woody Allen (born: 1935-12-01 age: 73)
Good Deeds
The cleanest, easiest high is doing something nice for someone else. Given how
little effort is required, how intensely pleasant the high is, and how there is
no hangover, just a nice glow that can last for years, it is amazing how rarely
people use this method purely to make themselves feel good.
Learning Tools
Since children are sponges absorbing new behaviours from whatever they see, you
can consider anything you expose them to as a learning tool. There is no such
thing as simple entertainment. What are you intending to teach them when you
give them a video game like Microsoft Halo or Grand Theft Auto or taking them to
see a preacher milking the crowd by threatening hellfire or taking them to a
movie like Death Wish?
Freedom
The word freedom means the right to conduct your own private affairs
without outside meddling and concomitantly allowing others to do things, that
don’t concern you, that you don’t like, without interference.
Americans use the word quite differently. They imagine people are free only when
the think like Americans, believe in Jesus and work primarily for American
interests.
Conformity
People happily rebel in ways that don’t matter. For example they will wear
a ring in their tongue, get a tattoo, shave their head, design an eccentric
beard, or wear some highly uncomfortable clothing. They will refuse to
standardize on computer function keys or MIME
types. They will refuse to conform to naming
conventions with programming computers. Yet when it comes to rebelling in a
way that matters e.g. expressing unpopular religious or political beliefs,
people turn into perfect sheep. They are too afraid to say what is in their
hearts, even when what they have to say is blindingly obvious, e.g. that war is
bad for children and other living things or that the rich are screwing the poor.
The Great Error
Nothing causes more suffering than this great error. A great love of your life
rejects you or dumps you. You are seduced by some of their positive qualities
into thinking they are the one, and now life cannot continue without them.
However, there were not your true love. Your true love would never treat
you that way. The dumper was an imposter.
Predictions
Like predictions in the bible, these predictions are undated. You can thus never
prove them wrong. At worst, you can have a false alarm.
- It will be mandatory to wear a helmet on public transportation.
- It will be illegal to drive cars on city streets for reasons of safety, speed,
fuel economy and traffic density. Cars will be driven by automation.
- Taxis will outnumber private vehicles for economic reasons. They don’t
need parking and they don’t lose value sitting in a garage rusting. They
work full time.
- China and the USA will hold a war in a hapless third country, ostensibly over
green house gas emissions and other pollutants. However, the actual reason will
be the usual excuse for war, economic hegemony.
Economics of Fashion
Consider how economics drives fashion. The general principle is whatever is
fashionable requires affluence. Fashion is primarily an affluence display. For
example, in cave man times being fat was in because food was hard to come by.
Consider the Rubenesque Venus statues of the period. Today, the poor balloon up
on Kraft Dinner, and wealthy require personal trainers and expensive diets of
fresh organic foods to stay slim. In India today, rich women still roll their
enormous bellies voluptuously, rubbing it in to the undernourished general
populace. In medieval times, a pasty complexion was in. Serfs were tanned from
field labour while wealthy women could stay inside and avoid such coarse labour.
Today the poor toil in sunless offices while the wealthy tan on Caribbean
beaches. In days when it took hours of servant labour to starch and iron your
clothes, wrinkles in clothes were a disgrace. Today they are in, since they
require more expensive natural fibres. In days when people wore their clothes
until they wore out, tattered clothes were shameful. Today they are in because
it takes so much labour to create the tattered look and new mass manufactured
clothes are so cheap. Diamonds and gold are preferred as personal decoration to
African beads, not because they are more colourful or beautiful, but simply
because they are rarer and hence more expensive. The results of plastic surgery
are bizarre: bloated pitted lips, wind swept faces, bug eyes…, yet
because the procedures are expensive and hence inaccessible to the average
citizen, the results are considered fashionable. Similarly expensive makeup and
nauseating perfumes prevail over pleasant inexpensive alternatives. Males
traditionally participated even more in fashion that women, though today women
seem to drive fashion. You saw men adopting digital watches when they first came
out and were very expensive. Now they are going back to less accurate, more
expensive analog watches, simply because everyone can now afford an accurate
digital watch. They will buy a pair of socks for five times the going rate
simply because of a bold designer logo that shouts “This guy is so rich he
can waste money on overpriced socks”.
Humanity’s Rites of Passage
Like a young man sent on a dangerous vision quest to prove his mettle to be
considered a man in the tribe, humanity is beset with four increasingly
difficult rites of passage.
- We have developed weapons terrible
enough to destroy all of humanity if not all higher life forms. We must
individually develop the wisdom not to use them.
- We are drastically altering the planet with our economic activities. We must co-operate
with everyone else on the planet to refrain from damaging the eco-systems and
causing massive including rapid climate
change.
- The earth reverses
magnetic polarity about every 200,000 years
on average. The last time was 780,000 years ago. We are
in the process of a flip right now. Though it is a somewhat random event, most
likely in about 300 more years, the earth’s magnetic field will
temporarily disappear, to be restored in about another 1000
years. So what you say? Who will even notice but a few boy scouts? The earth’s
magnetic field is protects us like a force field from cosmic radiation. We will
unprotected from particle bombardment from space and from the sun, causing
additional cancers and disruptions of satellite communications. To deal with
this lesser threat we will have the even more difficult task of co-operating
actively to deal with the problem.
- The resources of earth are finite. We must learn to share them fairly and to
avoid bearing more children than the planet can currently sustain. This requires
overcoming our deepest biological urge — to survive and populate
at the expense of others.
So we must pass from individual restraint, to passive collective co-operation,
to active collective co-operation, to overcoming our genetic nature —
quite a challenge.
You do not have to change: survival is not mandatory.
~ Dr. W. (William) Edwards Deming (born: 1900-10-14 died: 1993-12-20 at age: 93) On
Overcoming Resistance to Change
Punish The Crime
I often see a judge throwing the book at someone who has had an accident while
driving drunk. Similarly I see a judge harsh with someone who has an accident
because they did not properly maintain their vehicle. But the crime is not
having an accident. It is driving drunk or failing to maintain a vehicle.
Whether there is an accident is irrelevant. The punishment should be the same
for driving drunk whether or not there is an accident. Judges are too harsh with
those who have an accident and not harsh enough with those who don’t.
Gullibility
When people go to a David Copperfield magic show they will see the impossible.
Yet no one presumes a miracle was involved even if for the life of them they can’t
figure out any possible way Mr. Copperfield could have pulled the illusion off.
Yet when most people hear of some rather minor children’s magic, like
changing the colour of a liquid, third or fourth hand, even via anonymous
reporters, even when there are no details, even when the alleged magic happened
hundreds or thousands of years ago, they are absolutely certain a true miracle
occurred. Such is the immense power of wishful thinking.
Insurance
Insurance is deceptively advertised as if it magically protected you from harm.
It does no such thing. It merely gives you legal right to wrestle with the
insurance company for some money long after the unpleasant event. It would make
more sense to spend some money on prevention, e.g. air bags in your car, or a
high crash test safety rating vehicle, or having your house wiring and heating
updated. You might move away from an area prone to tsunamis, floods, wars,
earthquakes or industrial accidents. That will actually protect you from harm.
Chiropractors
I have often wondered why chiropractors, the people to correct bone alignment,
have a reputation for quackery. Here in BC where all manner of medicine is
covered by universal health insurance, chiropractors are excluded. No other type
of medicine can instantly relieve pain. Perhaps professional envy is the root.
Housework
Most people treat housework as drudgery. They postpone it and suffer the
consequences of living in dirt and less than ideal sanitation, getting a
reputation as a slob not to mention the Herculean task of getting the house
ready for guests. When they do it, all they can think about it what a waste of
time it is, and how they would rather be doing something else.
Instead, treat it as a game, where the goal is maximum efficiency — to
keep your place as clean as possible with the least effort. You constantly work
at finding ever more efficient ways to do things. This keeps your interest up. I
discovered that for example, by treating the kitchen floor as if it were a work
surface, and giving it a quick wipe with Lysol all purpose spray cleaner each
day, it never needs to be washed, and it is always sparkling clean, though I do
rinse it with water from time to time. This also keeps any dropped food from
being ground into the floor. I found that letting the dishes soak in a pan
outside the sink keeps the sink free for other uses. I found that oven cleaner
will instantly clean anything with baked on grease, not just ovens, especially
white ovenware. Experiment with different cleaning tools and chemicals to find
the ones optimal for each job. If you live with someone else, you will find they
automatically are less likely to leave messes than before.
Silicon Sociopaths
A sociopath is someone who carefully monitors his victim and does and says
whatever it takes to please them as a preliminary to manipulating them. He is
not constrained by morality, social convention or inhibition. This sounds much
like what we could expect from an artificially intelligent silicon companion.
Blind Obedience
The greatest of all sins is blind obedience. Without it, the power of an evil
man to cause harm is limited to killing perhaps 100 people. With even a million
blind followers, he can kill and torture by the tens of millions. Blind
obedience allows not particularly malicious men to commit the most hideous
atrocities, and feel profoundly virtuous about them.
Pornography
The elderly like to tsk tsk at the young over pornography because, even in
fantasy, they find it too absurd to imagine coupling with the perfect specimens
it portrays.
The Biggest Mistake of My Life
I am telling you his story in the hopes it will help you avoid making the same
mistake. It cast a pall over my whole life, even bigger than contracting HIV. In
the early 70s I lived with my lover whom I was head over heels in love with. I
remember thinking to myself with a mild tinge of regret that I had reached the
pinnacle of happiness. It could not get any better than this. Then one day, out
of the blue, he told me that he hated me, had always hated me, had only
pretended to love me the last few years, and that I was so horrible that I
should never get involved with anyone else again. I made two errors:
- I assumed that since he knew me better than anyone, his assessment must be
accurate.
- I was well aware of my faults, but I was baffled that he could go instantly from
100% positive to 100% negative. I figured it
required some extraordinary explanation such as drugs, devil-worshipping cult or
some sort of hypnotic possession.
His personality change was so drastic I told myself that I should put my life on
hold until he returned to normal. I should dedicate my life to his recovery. I
should patiently wait for him to come back or later resume the same sort of
friendly relations I had with other ex’s. Unfortunately, with a couple of
exceptions, he refused all communication. I had to get all information on how he
was doing third hand.
I soon learned he had found someone else, but I still could not see why that
would explain his sudden change in attitude to me. In retrospect, I had seen him
dump friends suddenly for unknown reasons. I also discovered there was a drug
component.
My vigil went on for about a dozen years, then gradually dwindled in intensity
for the next twenty. However, I never again let myself trust anyone. I always
held back. It was like a constant note of sadness in my life. Later partners
were irritated knowing I was still pining for him. I had put so much pain into
this vigil, it was hard to give it up.
Oddly, watching the Jerry Springer Show was the most healing. I watched women
surprising their boyfriends or husbands with the news they were dumping them for
other men, then proceeded to humiliate and insult their old boyfriends on
national TV. It had never dawned on me this was anywhere near normal behaviour
for the human species.
I think the mechanism goes like this. The dumper feels guilty at leaving, so
decides to vilify the dumpee in her/his mind in order to justify it. It may also
be that the dumper has accumulated a pile of unexpressed resentments. They
finally get the courage to state them only after deciding to leave.
The important thing is, don’t pine! If your lover doesn’t
want you any more, you are not a good match. They won’t be happy even if
you do get back together. Move on!
Toilet Seats
Why is it women get upset if you leave the toilet seat up, but don’t mind
a bit if you leave the lid down?
I Am An Idea
“Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the
obvious.
~ George Orwell (born: 1903-06-25 died: 1950-01-21 at age: 46)
We now know that you do not directly experience reality. In a manner something
like a computer’s, you process the little electrical signals coming up
your nerves into your brain. Your brain creates a dream/hallucination loosely
based on this digitally encoded information. Everything you subjectively
experience is an idea/dream/hallucination. So even when you think about yourself,
it is still just an idea. Thus, what you subjectively experience as “yourself”
is just an idea. It flits in and out of your consciousness just like any other
idea. I expound on this in my essay Experience
is a Hallucination.
Fruit Baskets
Why do we humans bring fruit baskets and flowers to people in hospital? A
primitive human has genetic programming that says “When I am deathly ill,
and food is scarce, it is best that I die and thus save food for my kin who will
carry on my genes. If I drag on, we will all end up dying.” To turn off
this programming, you must convince the subconscious of the ill person that it
is summer and food is abundant, so there is no need for his sacrifice, hence the
fruit basket and the flowers, which will work even if he does not eat the fruit.
The gifts also say “We would rather you lived; we feel in no danger from
you consuming food if you continue your life.”
Lotteries
Let us say you buy a $1 lottery ticket each month
for a prize of $10 million. To offer that prize,
there must be about 20 million tickets sold each month. You will win on average
once every 1,666,667 years.
The age life on the earth is about 3.5 billion years. If you had been playing
since the first microorganisms formed, you would have won about 2100
times.
The age of the earth is about 4.5 billion years. If you had been playing since
the formation of the earth, you would have won about 2700
times.
The universe is 13.7 billion years old. If you had been playing since the dawn
of time, you would have won about 8220 times.
Kindness
The periods of peak happiness in my life occur under three conditions:
- I perform an act of kindness.
- Someone performs an act of kindness for me.
- I witness someone performing an act of kindness for another.
Scientists have discovered that serotonin levels increase in all three
situations, and also that immune systems strengthen. I makes me wonder why
people don’t seek out kindness with the same assiduousness they seek out
money, status, sex and excitement. It works much better and is some much easier
to achieve.
Get Goal of War
The end goal of war is to force the other guy do
something he does not want to do, e.g.
- Stop attacking you.
- Hand over his land.
- Hand over his resources.
- Convert to your religion.
The means goal of war is to create as much suffering
as you can for the other guy, per dollar you spend, while avoiding creating even
more misery for yourself.
Commerce has a different ethic. Nobody signs a deal unless both parties believe
they are better off for it, even when one party is benefitting much more than
the other.
Grim Optimism
I spent a lot of time thinking about global problems, such as global warming,
overpopulation, pollution, soil erosion, racism, sexism, species extinction,
nuclear war, biowar, globalisation, runaway corporate power, poverty, George
Bush, torture and atrocities in America, Afghanistan and Iraq… It looks
as if humanity is determined to go extinct. We humans have the motivations of a
chimpanzee wired to the genius to destroy of an Einstein. It is a combination
that is causing our species to prepare for suicide by dozens of means.
I work as hard as I can, given my limited energy, on all fronts simultaneously.
It is hard to notice any beneficial effect at all. What is so frustrating is
there are so many well-funded people working diligently against me to promote
global warming, war, pollution, cruelty, greed, exploitation, overpopulation etc.
As you might expect, I become deeply depressed over this situation.
This is how I pull myself out of it. I go down to the beach, and look out over
the water toward Port Angeles. Then I imagine what this scene will look like
when man manages to wipe himself out, and possibly much of life on earth along
with him. The lights of Port Angeles will be gone, but the stars will be there,
exactly as before. The clouds will still there. The wind will be there, perhaps
whipping a lot harder. There will still be some rain and the ocean. Once in
earth’s history, the land was completely barren, and bit by bit plant life
colonised it. No matter how scorched, poisoned or denuded the continents, plants
will eventually work their patient miracle again. Life on earth has already
survived 30 mass extinctions that wiped out more than half the life on earth.
There many not be another technological species for a long while, but that is
not such a terrible thing. We humans sadistically tormented the earth and all
its creatures. We are one of the very few creatures who leave the environment
less inviting to our offspring than we found it.
However, I can’t help but notice that I too am a human with a chimp’s
motivations. I wish I could kill those who oppose me. I am deeply ashamed of
being a human, a member of a failed and insanely self-centered species.
I see only one plausible rescue, coming from artificial intelligence, smarter
than man, capable of saving us from our own stupidity. That’s why I have
put so much effort into the Java
glossary.
It is not nearly the Hail Mary you might imagine. I wrote a FØRTRAN
program myself back in the 1970s for BC Hydro to design high voltage
transmission lines called Optow, that was more intelligent than humans. One day
it was laughably stupid. The next, with just a tiny bit more tinkering, it was 10%
smarter than a person, and instantly put 50 engineers with masters degrees and
PhDs out of work.
 |
recommend book⇒The Age of Spiritual Machines : When Computers Exceed Human Intelligence |
| | paperback | hardcover |
|---|
| ISBN13: | 978-0-14-028202-3 | 978-0-670-88217-5 |
|---|
| publisher: | Penguin |
| published: | 2000-01-01 |
| by: | Raymond Kurzweil |
| A fascinating book giving the evidence why computers exceeding human intelligence are imminent. |
|
If
computers don’t rescue us, you can console yourself with this thought.
Humans are something like goats. They leave the environment in ruins. The sooner
humans go extinct, the better for planet earth. The fewer species will be lost
and the faster earth can recover.
Abstinence Education
If you watch the Maury Show,
you will see harpies screeching at men they have slept with and men shouting
back obscenities and insults. The women demand money to support their children.
The men contest that they are indeed the fathers.
I would imagine any impressionable boy viewing this spectacle would never want
to touch a girl, much less screw her, knowing in nine months she could turn into
such a fiend from hell, and he could be tied financially to this venom-spitting
hellcat for 20 years. If I had any choice in the matter
I would stick to gay sex or sex with very low risk for pregnancy.
Yet even the best abstinence education does not work. It actually increases risk
of HIV transmission. You have to teach people safe sex. You can’t contain
hormones, just direct them.
Crop Circles
I enjoyed a magical experience. I watched a documentary called Star
Dreams about crop circles. Much of it was just irritating, flakes spouting
pseudoscientific guff about vibrations, frequencies and matrices, but the
photographs taken from airplanes of the crop circles themselves were utterly
spellbinding. These are works of art with more appeal for me than anything I
have ever seen painted on canvas. Each one was so original and so perfect
without a needless stroke. The recent British crop circles are intricate jewels,
some 700 feet across. Some might almost be described as irridescent the way they
changed as you viewed them from different angles.
Just who is/are the artist(s)? Circa 1990, a couple of
men claimed to have created over 1000 of them in three months, but never
demonstrated producing even one. For many, this closed the mystery. My partner
figures the artist is a team of talented young people working for the British
military testing out secret technology. Others believe the designers are not
human. The circles are well above the quality of graffiti or pranks. Whomever is
doing them is an artist of the highest order. Just looking at them induces a
mild euphoria. According to that documentary, the crop circles appear suddenly
in the middle of the night, apparently in as little as five minutes, yet even
though there have been over ten thousand of them, no one has managed to
photograph one being formed. One other odd feature is the stalks are not broken,
but bent, and the wheat or other grain continues to grow unharmed. There is a
new religion growing around them believing them to be messages from a benign
alien species.
I don’t know who made them. I am not about to make up my mind from only
one video made by true believers. However, as artistic works, they impressed the
heck out of me. There are not your grandfather’s crop circles. This is
something you want to see on a big screen.
Turbojam Scam
Turbojam.com advertises on TV
an exercise video. The announcer proclaims if you don’t lose up to 10
pounds and 25.40 cm (10 in)
you can request a refund. That of course is no guarantee at all. The only people
who qualify are those that lose more than 10 pounds and more than 25.40 cm (10 in).
If by some fluke that happened, the customer would have no reason to request a
refund. Even if the product caused you to gain 50 pounds, the guarantee would
still not apply since losing 0 pounds still counts as losing up to 10. So there
is no guarantee at all. Yet the ad stresses the no-risk guarantee over and over
and over as if it were real. Whenever you hear the phrase up to in an
advertisement, guaranteed they are trying to deceive you.
FOX sued in the supreme court for the right to make up the news. They argued and
won that it is entertainment and need not have any connection to reality. Yet
people, out of old habits, still watch FOX news imagining they are hearing some
approximation to the truth.
There was a time when scamming was the province of door to door salesmen and con
artists. Today it is standard business practice. Royal Roads business college
teaches students how to be unethical in business. There is no longer even a
pretense of honesty.
This is not all that new. I had my first taste of corporate scamming when I was
five and saved up $0.50 (four weeks allowance) for
a submarine that “dives and plunges” The picture on the back of the
Kellogg’s cornflakes box showed it to be at least a foot long producing a
prodigious wake with two astonished children in the background for scale. When
it finally arrived it was about four inches long, and did not “plunge”
at all. It would tilt on its side and emit a bubble like a tiny fart. Undaunted,
some years later I sent a dollar to Kellogg’s for a pumped water rocket
that would go 100 feet in the air. This time they kept my dollar and said “Sorry,
we don’t deliver to Canada.” even though I got the offer off a box
of Canadian Kellog’s corn flakes. I still have not forgiven them. I always
buy some other brand.
Free Will
If you watch a movie, do the characters have free will? Of course not; every
frame is fixed in celluloid. Yet this does not become obvious until you watch
the movie a second time. When you first watch a movie, the characters appear
free to choose their actions and fates. Yet the freedom was all an illusion. Yet
this illusion of freedom is completely comfortable, without any feeling of
restraint, at least the first time you watch the movie. So why are we humans so
distressed by the notion that choice may be merely calculation with a little
randomness thrown in? We humans are so puffed with vanity we demand that choice
be something unfathomable and mystical, something only humans can do.
Whenever I look back on my life, it seems to me my choices were inevitable given
what I knew at the time and what my hormones were doing.
I have a sense of confinement if somebody or something stops me from doing what
I believe would work out best. My freedom is not in the least impinged if the
correct course of action is blindingly obvious, when it is something I
definitely want to do, no matter how inevitable my choice. The word free
has too many meanings and has too many emotional connotations. It befuddles
people. When you have a free choice it really means
the right to take the option you want, not whether there was some doubt about
the choice.
My Mom used to say “if only” are the two saddest words in the
English language. The words represent a vain wishful thinking that you knew back
then what you know now. You didn’t. You couldn’t. If you went back
in time limited by the same knowledge you had back then, you would do the exact
same stupid things all over again. The purpose of regret is to remind you avoid
repeating mistakes, not to torture you endlessly for ones you already made.
What if you and a friend watched a rerun of a game show on TV. You have seen the
rerun; your friend has not. The contestant has to make a random choice, box A
gets him a car, box B gets him a cabbage. You watch him “constrained“
to pick box B. Your friend sees him making a free choice. So free will is in the
eye of the beholder. It depends on how much knowledge of the future you have.
Death
Microbes attempt to consume you all your life long, then finally at death you
surrender to them. Perhaps an analogy to dying would be the demolition of a
house. It simply is no longer there, other than in memory. Many of my friends
and relatives have died. There is not the tiniest sign any of them attempted to
communicate with the living or performed any deeds after they died. They are
simply gone, as gone as my old house that was demolished to make way for an even
bigger dwelling.
I am told people often die smiling, as though the moment of death is a pleasant
release from the pains and indignities of sickness or old age.
To me, life is like a roller coaster ride. The hypothesis that it might be never-ending
is a nightmare. I find it odd that other people like to make up the most
elaborate and fanciful stories about death where they are rewarded for every
good deed and their enemies ferociously punished for every transgression. What
is even odder is they treat these conjectures as literal truth with nothing at
all to base them on. The impenetrable wall that death creates allows wishful
speculation to have a free reign and create iron-clad certainty.
Sensory Reality
I live in a sensory universe. I don’t experience reality directly; I
experience only my sensory hallucinations of it.
When I smell tobacco smoke, for example, what actually happens is I experience
my cellular level negative opinion of tobacco. I live in a world of looks, feels
and smells, emotions, likes and dislikes, not of objects and atoms. My
experience bears the same sort of relationship to reality as does a painting.
How I experience reality is my artistic creation.
House
House is my favourite TV show. It is about an arrogant, sarcastic, overly candid
doctor who is brilliant at diagnosing obscure diseases. You might have ignored
it, since it in on FOX. The dialog is brilliant, the characters complex, the
plots surprising. Even though the show mocks its own theatrical conventions, I
find myself caring about the characters as if they were real people. It is the
event each week I most look forward to. You might call it TV for adults.
Tanking
In the 1980s I became interested in isolation tanks after having talked with Dr.
John Lilly, the dolphin researcher. I floated in warm water, laden with Epsom
salts, in the dark. I floated so high in the water, I could even fall asleep
safely. There is no light or sound or any other distraction. I became aware of
my thoughts, which seemed like some crazed AM radio blaring away with the volume
turned up to nine. I became aware of how inane and mindless most of my thoughts
were, just jabbering. I tried desperately to shut off the racket. The only thing
that I found that worked was listening. I would try to hear faint sounds coming
through the muffled walls. The internal voices would shut up for a few seconds
to let me hear. You don’t need a isolation tank to do this. Just go
somewhere quiet and listen intently to the quietest sounds.
Me In a Nutshell
My purpose is to convince people to stop doing things
that interfere with other people’s long term happiness.
Red Light Sheep
In Chicago, when drivers stop at a red light, they lean on their horns until the
light turns green. A friend asked a cab driver why he was doing this. He replied,
“Because it is a red light”. I wonder how the custom got started.
Perhaps a driver’s horn got stuck once, and lo’ the light turned
green. He discovered that by honking his horn long enough, he could make the
light turn green. He was reenacting the ancient ritual of pigeon
superstition, discovering for example that dancing would eventually make
it rain, or that praying hard enough would eventually make the seeds sprout.
Even pigeons do it in lab experiments. They peck for pellets and one time one
happens to be standing on one leg when its get some food. Thereafter it stands
on one leg to peck for pellets, like a superstitious gambler.
Sustainability
Scientists have told us what we need to do to ensure the survival of the human
race to deal with the big problems like global warming, nuclear war, destruction
of the environment, overpopulation, the end of oil, soil erosion… What
stops us from taking action?
- Corporate thinking: the next quarter profit is more important than long term
survival.
- Religious wishful thinking: imagining that if man plays helpless, God will
eventually take pity and make it all better.
- Selfishness: people are unwilling to make any sacrifices of immediate pleasure
for their children’s or even their own survival. All that matters is
immediate gratification.
- Secular wishful thinking: ignoring the best science and believing any crank or
corporate shill who will tell you there is nothing to worry about.
Man imagines he is the most intelligent of species, but he is the only one I
know of that is trapped in such fatal delusions.
We’re All Going To Die
I worry quite a bit about global problems: global warming, nuclear war,
destruction of the environment, overpopulation, religious insanity, the end of
oil, soil erosion… It seems unlikely we will manage to deal with all this
in anything like a satisfactory way. However, we are all going to die anyway.
Nobody gets out of life on earth alive. So the premature deaths of billions of
humans is not quite as tragic as it first seems. The happy part is, if nearly
everyone is killed by global stupidity, most of my enemies will die too —
the rude snot on the Internet, George Bush, the truck drivers who ran me off the
road, the people who have stolen or vandalised my bicycles, the soldiers who
tortured kids, the snotty bureaucrats, the people who leave trash at mountain
lakes… Earth will recover in a few thousand millennia, having shrugged
off humanity like an infestation of pubic lice.
The Last Lap
There is a period near the end of your life I call the last
lap where you recognise it is all downhill from here on, and that you won’t
be starting any major new projects and you will become increasingly dependent on
others. When my Dad went through this, he expressed regret he had accomplished
so little in his life, even through by the usual standards he was very
successful. My Mom, after a lifetime as a tyrant, suddenly wanted love and
affection from her family. I am like my Dad, feeling great shame I did not do
something worthy of Nobel prize. Everyone tells you, your life is over so
quickly, it seems like the blink of an eye. It is as if you are a teenager and
one day you wake up the next day and there is an old man staring back at you
from the mirror. If you plan to do something grand or even adventurous, you had
better get on with it early in life and dedicate the necessary amounts of time
and effort. Life is like a deadline. It seems you have all the time in the world,
then suddenly the deadline is upon you.
Dealing With Bullies
Bullies at school can make your life hell. They have no pity. They usually
operate in gangs. They will pursue you relentlessly for years in their sadism. I
have found only one way to deal with them. Philosophically I don’t like
this, but I found nothing else works. You must plot a surprise attack on the
ring leader. The attack must be extremely painful, and barely within the law in
terms of the violence. To cover yourself from legal reprisals, the attack must
be planned to co-incide with an attack on you first. Don’t hold back. Use
every ounce of your strength to cause maximal pain and injury. Holding something
like a roll of quarters in your hand will let you break his jaw even with a
roundhouse swing. Study the various techniques even tiny women can use to
disable a rapist. Bullies usually surround you and strike from behind. It is
fair to use subterfuge, possibly feigning weakness, to lure your target within
range. Half measures will just make things worse. I wonder if this is also the
best way to deal with international bullies who steal natural resources instead
of lunch money.
The Man-Eating Clam
I have a fantasy, to find the empty shell of one of those enormous “man-eating”
clams, and have it lined with Tempuredic foam and uplholstered in velvet. Then
when the world gets too much, I climb inside, assume the fetal position and pull
the shell almost closed.
Remembered Sex
The sexual adventures I remember most clearly are the ones that didn’t
quite make it, but that looked as if they almost could have been. Perhaps they
leave the most room for fantasy as to how wonderfully they could have turned out.
Zen
Have you noticed how Madison Avenue has embraced Zen. They use the word so sell
everything from bath salts to office furniture. Have you noticed how when
advertisers want to show a spiritually enlightened person, they pick a Buddhist
monk. Buddhism symbolise rationality, calm and beneficence. Isn’t it odd
that a culture has abandoned the symbols of virtue of its own religion.
Restaurant Theatre
Our daily interactions run in ruts. Consider breaking the pattern. Let’s
say you go for breakfast and the waitress says “How would you like your
eggs cooked?” Instead of the usual pat answer consider the following:
- Stare stunned as if you had been asked a profound philosophical question. Pause
then reply, “I don’t know… Do you?”
- Look puzzled. Reflect a second. Say “I don’t know how you cook eggs.
Ask the chef. Surely he must know.”
- Look mildly panicked and embarrassed, as if you were an alien and have just been
uncovered not understanding some facet of human culture every human should know.
Say “please enumerate some plausible possible answers”, then do a
Starman gesture and pick “boiled”, and add after a pause, “in
water, please”.
It’s Tuesday, this must be Belgium
A common question a nurse asks to determine if a patient is disoriented is “What
day of the week is it?” But how does the patient know?
99
years ago, the weekly rhythm was punctuated with mandatory Sunday church
attendance. Today, it is punctuated by the Tuesday night House TV show. Whenever
FOX changes its schedule, or throws in an extra Monday night showing, thousands
of patients are misdiagnosed.
A New Colour
I have always wondered if technology some day will figure out a way to let me
experience a totally new colour, one I have never seen before. I don’t
mean just a slightly different shade of green, but some new colour as different
from all the colours of the rainbow as yellow is from red and green.
Imagine someone growing up in an environment where everyone protected him from
ever seeing the colour red. Then in some special ceremony, it would be presented
for the first time.
Emperors of old tried to impress their subjects that way. British royalty
forbade anyone but themselves from wearing purple. Chinese emperors forbade
anyone but themselves from wearing yellow.
Olives
Are pitted olives olives with pits or olives with pits
removed? The can states that the olives may contain pits, so even the
manufacturer is unsure.
War Grace
War is a special state of grace where all manner of crimes are excused
automatically, including murder, torture, rape, genocide, wasteful spending,
squashing civil rights and destruction of the environment. The main difference
between war and peace is our tolerance for criminal action on the part of both
ourselves and others. So when someone excuses murder “because there is a
war on”, he is merely expressing a tautology, not really telling you
anything.
Turning Women On
If you really want to turn a woman on, as opposed to turning yourself on, try
washing windows or cleaning behind the fridge, or whatever that chore is she
nags you about. And don’t forget the power of frequent hugs, foot massages
and backrubs.
Big Picture Math
The big question is why is there anything at all? matter, space, time, life.
Then you start wondering why is the universe the way it is. It seems conceivable
that the universe could have worked many other ways, but oddly, in all of them,
mathematics would be the same. The universe could work by different mathematical
rules, but the constraints on what is mathematically true would be the same.
Pythagoras’s theorem would be true in all possible universes. So
mathematics is even more fundamental than existence.
The Purpose of Life
I once asked the cosmos “What is the purpose of life?” To my
surprise, I got an answer back, complete with impressive special effects. The
answer was “There is no purpose. You have to create one.” The
universe suddenly struck me as a forlorn place. The cosmos continued “It
has to be that way when you consider how much variety there is in the universe.
No one purpose could possibly suit everyone. Just because you get to choose it
does not mean it is not a perfectly valid purpose worth pursuing. At first this
feels frightening and empty, but if you think a little longer, it gives you
freedom. You can put your heart into a purpose you choose much more than someone
else’s purpose handed to you. It was extremely “kind” of the
universe to trust you this way. Rejoice in your cosmic freedom.
Bushmen
Let’s say you were a Bushman living in the Kalahari desert in a tribe of
20 people. If you figured out a way to scarf a hundred times as many mogongo
nuts as anyone else and at the same time contribute no labour to collecting them,
would you do it? If you did, your fellows would likely chide you for your greed
and sloth until you relented. But in North America, people aspire to do this
very sort of thing as the purpose of their lives. What is even stranger
is that North Americans who succeed in this con have the highest social status.
Screensavers
Do screensavers run when you turn off the monitor?
Dandelion Faith
It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You
have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time,
that there’ll be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the
right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you
do nothing, there will be no result.
~ Mahatma Gandhi (born: 1869-10-02 died: 1948-01-30 at age: 78)
Consider a dandelion. It creates seeds and the winds blow them away. Then
nothing happens. But come spring, some of the seeds sprout. This is very much
the way social change works. You do your lectures, essays, demonstrations,
letters to the editor, websites, blogs, newsgroup posts, TV shows, radio shows
etc. You don’t fret over the effect of any individual action. This is how
I worked on gay lib starting back in 1969. When I
started, everyone was opposed to me, even the gays at first. I knew it was
utterly hopeless, but it felt right to work for gay civil rights just the same.
Magically, within three years, we had the first gay rights legislation.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
~ Mahatma Gandhi (born: 1869-10-02 died: 1948-01-30 at age: 78)
Life
Life is like a cafeteria, where sometimes the best thing on the menu is Lo Pi
Rat.
On Kudzu
Man is the kudzu vine of the animal kingdom. We pretend not to notice out of
team loyalty.
A Riddle
You once held a Guiness Book of World Records type distinction. What was it?
Everyone on earth had their time in the sun at being the titleholder for a short
while.
Wishful Thinking
As you get older, one by one you have to accept the fact you will never climb
another mountain, have mad passionate sex with a 20 year old, or even run up a
flight of stairs. The temptation is immense to imagine some magic will let you
relive the experiences of your youth. You find yourself pondering the silliest
religious notions of heaven that have no evidence at all for them.
Similarly, it is hard not to lie to reassure a child crying over the loss of
loved relative, friend or pet.
These are not innocent lies. They rob the young of realising how precious those
short years of youth are.
Animal Cruelty
I think; therefore I am.
~ René Descartes (born: 1596 died: 1650 at age: 54)
Descartes became the father of animal cruelty. The flip side of what he said is
that if you don’t think, in the rational mathematical sense, then you don’t
really exist. This provides the excuse for animal cruelty. The Christian view
was that animals (and slaves for that matter) do not reason and do have “souls”,
so they are not truly conscious, and thus they only appear to suffer. Man will
believe the silliest bullshit to salve his conscience.
What else is it that should trace the insuperable line? Is it the faculty of
reason or perhaps the faculty of discourse? But a full-grown horse or dog is
beyond comparison a more rational, as well as more conversable animal, than an
infant of a day or a week or even a month old. But suppose they were otherwise,
what would it avail? The question is not, Can they reason?, nor Can they talk?
but, Can they suffer? Why should the law refuse its protection to any sensitive
being? The time will come when humanity will extend its mantle over everything
which breathes…
~ Jeremy Bentham (born: 1748-02-05 died: 1832-06-06 at age: 84) Principles
of Morals and Legislation
Of course neither of these authors were aware that crows, parrots and dolphins
could do mathematical reasoning.
Past Lives
If nearly everyone could remember events from a past life it would never occur
to us to wonder how that was possible, or whether these memories were just
imagination. Instead, we would wonder why some people did not have them.
If I Had To Live My Life Over
My life had periods of relative hell punctuated by periods of bliss.
- Preschool was reasonably pleasant, except for my Mom’s violence and
sitting at the dinner table with a strap forcing me to eat things I found
disgusting like milk, carrots and turnips, gagging them down.
- My school years were a nightmare dealing with gangs of bullies at school and my
Mom’s unpredictable violence at home. One day she smashed in all my fish
tanks with a coke bottle. I counted the days until I was old enough to leave
home.
- Age 15 to 21 I made myself miserable fretting that I was gay, and doing nothing
about it. I was head over heals with my straight friend.
- Age 21 to 27 was the golden age of my life when I came out, made tons of friends,
did my gay lib and became relatively famous. I remember thinking that my life
was perfect and I could not imagine anything better.
- The next years were hell as I pined, and pined, and pined for my lover Jimmy who
dumped me. I pined even when I was involved again. I also worried about him
because his personality had changed so drastically overnight.
- When I was 38 I had another short golden age as new love for Shannon made me
temporarily forget Jimmy.
- Then from age 39 to 61,
HIV has overshadowed my life.
So what would I do differently?
- I would have phoned the operator and asked for help with my Mom. She would have
been "mortified". At the time I was too afraid of reprisals.
- I did manage to get two bullies off my back by hurting them so badly they never
touched me again. I would plot to get each one alone and similarly hurt them.
- I would have smuggled some ordinary clothes to school to avoid the "monkey
suit" (a British boarding school uniform) that was at the root of most of
the ridicule.
- I could have tried to find other gay people my own age rather than staying so
fixed on my straight friend.
- The biggie is realizing when a lover leaves it means he is not the one. Find
someone who is more compatible. Even if the guy who jilted me came back, there
would be endless tension. There is absolutely no point going after someone who
does not show interest in return. Even if you were successful, it would take
constant effort to keep the relationship going. I also learned that it is
completely normal for an ex to change suddenly from loving to totally rejecting.
It is not a sign of pathology. No pining! would be the watchword of my second
try at life.
- When I was in San Francisco I should have checked out whatever HIV education was
available. I dismissed AIDS as hysteria or the result of drug and alcohol abuse
since the VD officials in Canada had ignored it.
- Life is so much shorter than I imagined. The passage of time accelerates as you
get older. I would have done a lot more world travelling when I was young. My
adventures in Europe and Indonesia seem to fill about 10%
of my life memories even though they took only a few weeks of my life.
Hanging On
Probably more than any person I know, I tend to hang on to past loves, even when
doing that is extremely painful. Perhaps I don’t let go because to give up
the pain would be to give up the vestiges of the connection.
Natural Punishment
Most religions presume some sort of after death judgment and punishment. There
is also a natural punishment the universe hands out while you are still alive.
It requires no supernatural power for its administration.
Consider, for example, what happens to soldiers who enlist to kill people:
- They are first stripped of their will in boot camp.
- They live under harsh conditions.
- They are shot at and perhaps killed, maimed or tortured.
Consider what happens to people to accumulate excessive wealth:
- They can’t trust anyone. Anyone nice to them is probably just scheming to
take their money.
- They live in fear of attack, blackmail or kidnapping.
Natural punishment seems just to care about what you do, not your
rationalisations for doing it. It does not care if you joined the army to defend
your country against a nuclear attack or you joined because you figured it would
give you the opportunity to rape children without interference.
Parents Never Sleep
My Dad took the family camping to Kalamalka Lake in the Okanagan of BC Canada.
It was a hot day and my Dad lay down on a cot in the sun and fell asleep. We
five kids gathered round to watch. We had never seen my Dad asleep before during
the day. I noted that he looked like a "dying butterfly". Soon my
three sisters and my little brother were in tears at Dad’s pending death.
The noise woke him up and he asked what was the matter. When we told him, he was
quite angry that we would not even once is his life let him relax. My sister
told him about the "dying butterfly". I don’t think he ever
forgave me.
Cuban Missile Crisis
In 1962, Kennedy and Khruschev were threatening
nuclear war. I was 14 at the time. I was so sure this was the end, I did not do
my homework, something I had never done before. The next morning the newly
installed nuclear attack sirens went off. We went to the radio to get details.
It was dead. We kids all started crying "We are all going to die!" Dad
was angry with us for making such a fuss. I figured this was it, so I made by
bed, and went out to sit on a giant granite rock in our front yard at 845
Pyrford Road in West Vancouver, BC Canada. There was a sweeping view of
Vancouver harbour. It was a clear sunny day. I would have a great seat for the
end of the world. I waited and waited, and nothing happened.
Circa 1967, I thought to myself, what if this happens
for real? Do I want to be tormenting myself with thoughts of why I did not do
anything to at least try to prevent the nuclear war. I decided to do something
that would be sufficiently drastic that I would be able to content myself with
the thought I had all that could reasonably be expected. So I gave
to the fledgling Greenpeace for their anti-nuclear protests. This was a large
sum for a kid putting himself through university in the days when room and board
were
a month. I got a letter back telling me it was the largest donation they had
ever received. I has occurred to me since that my donation might have been the
horseshoe nail that made the difference between Greenpeace fading away or
becoming what it is today.
“For want of a nail a shoe was lost,
for want of a shoe a horse was lost,
for want of a horse a rider was lost,
for want of a rider an army was lost,
for want of an army a battle was lost,
for want of a battle the war was lost,
for want of the war the kingdom was lost,
and all for the want of a little horseshoe nail.
~ Benjamin Franklin (born: 1706-01-17 died: 1790-04-17 at age: 84)
Baumhertzig
There was a German Christian who lived in the 1900s in Stadtsteinach in Germany
named Gottfried Johannes Müller. Some called him a saint. He arranged homes
for orphans around the world. He suggested the key to transforming earth from
hell to heaven lay in tiny acts of compassion, for the lowest of the low, e.g.
even earthworms, done in secret.
“You must behave as if your every act, even the smallest, impacted a
thousand people for a hundred generations. Because it does.
~ Gottfried Johannes Müller (born: 1914-04-10 died: 2009-09-26 at age: 95)
Courage
If I knew what I know now, and I had my life to live over again, I would not
have the courage.
Relationships
I think I am getting better at relationships as I get older. Here are my rules:
- We are primates. Primates groom each other as their primary social interaction.
Nothing beats a good back scratch or massage.
- Give your partner what he/she asks for, not what you think they ought to want.
- If your partner asks you not to do something, refrain from doing it, even if you
think it is inconsequential. They are deadly serious.
- Don’t criticise.
Denial
Many years ago I worked with Andy, a mild mannered little guy who told me that
his great dream was someday to write software to control nuclear submarines. I
was shocked that he would have fantasies of destroying the planet. But to him,
they were just giant toys he would be able to make plunge and dive. I watched a
Nova program about the contest between Boeing and Lockheed to get the
F35 jet fighter contract. Not once did anyone acknowledge what these aircraft
were for. The engineers called them "transport vehicles". All they
were interested in were the propulsion and control systems. They never once
mentioned their ability carry weapons. They carefully blocked their purpose out
of their minds. They never questioned the need for a titanium bulkhead that took
6 months to machine. Just whom did they imagine these fighters would be used
against, aliens?
The Fermi Paradox
The famous physicist Fermi noted that if there were even the slimmest chance of
a technological civilisation evolving, their presence should be visible
throughout the universe. Instead there is nothing but a great silence. What are
we to make of that?
It may be very unusual for technological civilisations to evolve. Whales,
dolphins and elephants have brains larger than ours. Squids have brains 20
times larger. They evolved superior intelligence to ours, but lacked the hands
necessary to let them evolve technology.
I think the answer is simple. Mankind evolved too much power too fast. We will
soon destroy ourselves in one of a thousand ways with that power. See my essay
on mankind’s extinction.
Technology develops too easily and brings on changes too quickly. Any species
going down that route soon destroys itself and takes most of a planet with it.
Nobody Knows You Are a Dog
In 1993, Peter Steiner did a famous cartoon for the
New Yorker of a dog sitting at a computer terminal, saying to his friend "On
the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog." It’s true. Unless you
tell them, people don’t know how old you are, how good looking you are,
how sexy your voice is, where you are from or even your gender. I discovered
something disturbing. In person, people usually treat me with exaggerated
respect. On the Internet, they treat me with contempt. It dawned on me that
respect the may be largely because of my great height, which is not visible on
the net.
Where Are You?
Kick back on the couch and wiggle your toes. Just where is that sensation
of your toes rubbing together? For me it is about 6 feet away. The sensation is
located in 3D space at my toes. It is not just that I know the sensation is
coming from my toes; the experience of the sensation also is located there. I
normally think of myself as being like a little homunculus hiding behind my eyes.
Yet that cannot be. In my ability to experience sensation, I am way out there
down by my toes too. If my brain can create that illusion, (it is an illusion
since, presumably, the actual subjective experience occurs inside my skull) why
not a sensation subjectively located outside my body? This is what
happens to people with phantom limb pain.
Cosmic Assumption
Scientists make a cosmic assumption, the laws of physics are the same everywhere
in the universe as they are here. They make this assumption without having done
any visiting, just studying the light coming from other parts of the universe.
Yet, oddly, humanity makes the assumption that this is not true of biology, a
branch of carbon chemistry. Man assumes, until proven otherwise, that life
exists only on earth. Why the asymmetry? It is caused by religious pride. Man
wants to believe He is the apple of God’s eye and that the entire universe
was God’s gift to Him alone, despite all the evidence we are nothing out
of the ordinary. If this idea intrigues you, read
more.
Religious Tolerance
We usually think of religious tolerance as a virtue, but it is not always. The
virtue is leaving others alone to choose their rituals to connect with the
mysteries of the universe. The vice is offering no resistance to people behaving
abominably in the name of religion, spreading superstition, hatred of minority
groups, violence, condoning theft of land, touting the divine superiority of
their religious group. It is cowardice to accept bribes from the demented
Reverend Sun Myung Moon to crown him the Messiah in the capitol building, not
religious tolerance. The Pat Robertson’s and Jerry Falwell’s of the
world use religious lies to meddle in politics. It is thus fair game to fight
back as their supposedly holy authority. Creationists meddle is science
spreading disinformation. They must be tolerated no more than any other flavour
of liar.
The Wisdom of Old Age
As I get older, I wonder what all the fuss was about in my younger years. Part
of the change in attitude is experience, but mostly it is just lower hormones.
Most of the things I used to torment myself over now seem relatively unimportant.
The notion there is a one and only true love for you is the stupidest, cruelest
idea ever perpetuated. If that person has already had a relationship with you
and decided to leave, no matter what the circumstances, what more proof do you
need they are not a suitable partner? Get on with finding a more compatible
one! There is no need to complain about either of you just because you did not
mesh well over time. I stayed stubbornly stuck for decades because I could not
believe my exceedingly loving partner could dump me with such sudden violence.
There had to be some explanation, and once explained, all could be put right and
I could enjoy the same friendly relationship I had with my other ex’s.
Gradually, I learned his behaviour did not need an explanation; it is an
ordinary part of human nature and relationship transitions. Now I feel silly,
embarrassed and regretful to have wasted so much time hanging onto the past.
The Human Family
Scientists who study mitochondrial DNA tell us the human species is only 7000
generations old, a baby as species go. 150,000
years ago, we all sprang from a common grandmother who looked something like this.
This means everyone on planet earth is literally a long lost relative. It also
means we all have black ancestors, which will drive the racists crazy.
Measuring Success
Tommy Douglas lead the New Democratic Party for many years. They never once came
to power in Canada federally. Mr. Douglas himself twice lost his seat in
parliament. The Liberal party stole all his best ideas. The newspapers reviled
him as a Communist.
Yet now it is clear to everyone, he shaped Canada more than any other politician.
Without him Canada would not have universal medical care, old age pensions or
children’s allowance. Canadian identity is based around these social
programs that see everyone is cared for.
Democracy
The biggest problem with democracy is the people who claw their way to top are
in it primarily for power over others. These are the people you can least trust
to make wise decisions for the common good.
Prayer Portions
- Some Christians pray with fingers tightly intertwined. This says "I beg
of you. I beseech you. Do things my way. I really do know better than you
what is best for all concerned."
- Some Christians pray with palms together. This says "I am holier than my
fellows, therefore you God, owe it to me to do things my way."
- Some new agers pray with palms up. This says "I am entitled to your
bounty God. Give me my due."
- Muslims grovel to pray. This says "Please don’t beat me. I claim
you are merciful with my tongue, but in my heart I believe you are cruel."
- In my dreams, white-frocked nuns pray with hands up and palms forward. This says "I
surrender. Let me be not so clueless and do it your way."
The Fundamental Sadness
There is small south American catfish who sits on my desk in an aquarium. One of
three things must all but inevitably happen:
- One day I will go to feed him and will discover he is dead.
- One day I won’t come to feed him because I am dead.
- One day we will both be killed simultaneously.
Suicide
Most people don’t particularly enjoy their lives. It just one damn thing
after another, yet they don’t kill themselves. This is not great surprise
given Darwinian selection. However, what is odd, is that when you look at the
trials people have to endure, it bears little on whether they kill themselves.
The lives of our ancestors were extremely nasty compared with ours, as are those
of people in the third world, yet they are less likely than we to suicide. What
is going on? Has the fear of punishment subsided? Are tools of painless suicide
just more readily available. Have expectations on life risen to ridiculous
levels from a constant onslaught of movies and TV? Are people now just more
isolated than they were before, now that people don’t need to look out for
each other’s physical well being as much? People no longer feel part of
their societies.
Only intelligent species whales, dolphins and humans suicide. There need to be
three factors for a human suicide:
- Desperation or acute intolerable mental pain sufficient to overcome fear. It
takes an act of courage comparable to jumping out of an airplane without a
parachute. This is why antidepressants can trigger suicide. They give people the
energy to carry through. Death is a great unknown, and cultural myths promise
terrible supernatural torments. Those fears must be overcome to suicide.
- A belief that conditions could not possibly change sufficiently to make life
tolerable.
- A belief that others would be better off, or would not particularly object if
the suicide were accomplished.
Persistence
When I read biographies, two things stand out.
- The lives of great people are filled with even more emotional distress than mine.
- Every famous person was at some point ridiculed by those in authority. Yet they
persisted anyway. They did not have the good sense to give up.
I suppose then, for people like me who desperately yearn to leave some
magnificent legacy to our species, tragedy and ridicule should be encouraging
signs.
Appropriate Programming
Whenever I see a handsome young gay man I think to myself, "I wish I too
could be young and cute. It would be so great to have everyone chase after me."
Yet I notice that young gay men don’t enjoy having everyone chase after
them. They find it a nuisance. So likely, so would I if I were magically
transformed. As an older gay man, I am left in peace. Perhaps I could learn to
appreciate my state, through the eyes of someone young, cute or famous.
Mirrors
Even since I was a little boy I have puzzled over why mirrors reverse left and
right but not top and bottom. Obviously mirrors have no directional preference.
It must be something in our language that makes up/down different from left/right.
The top of the image is aligned with the top of your body. The left side of the
image is aligned with to the left side of your body. So, the mirror is not
reversing left and right. Yet it is reversing the writing on your T-shirt, left
and right, but not top and bottom.
You can think of mirrors as letting you see the writing from inside the tee
shirt. Yet, why should that reverse left and right, but not top and bottom?
Imagine a T-shirt with writing in various orientations. The writing always
reverses. So it is not a left-right thing after all, but the handedness of the
entire image that flips.
The Matrix
In the movie the Matrix, Morpheus offers Neo a choice. He can take the red pill
and see the truth for himself, or he can take the blue pill and return,
comfortably unaware, to the illusion of the Matrix. There he can live out his
life oblivious to and undisturbed by the truth.
The Internet is the red pill. TV is the blue bill.
Extra Terrestrials
We humans are utterly convinced, without leaving planet earth, that physics and
chemistry are identical throughout the universe. We humans are also utterly
convinced, without leaving planet earth, that biology is unique to earth. If
anyone suggests that somewhere in those trillions of planets there could be
other life or intelligent species, we call for a white coat or a tin foil hat.
We persist in this belief even though we know primitive life appeared on earth
almost the instant it cooled. What’s so special about earth?
“The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only
common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after
another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
~ Dr. Stephen Jay Gould (born: 1941-09-10 died: 2002-05-02 at age: 60)
Starting Over
Our Sun has enough fuel to burn about 9 billion years. We humans appeared about
half way through the life span. If we humans somehow destroy life to the point
it has to start over from scratch, there may not be time for another intelligent
species to evolve before the Sun goes nova. However, if we simply wipe ourselves
out, and leave some other mammals, there will be no problem at all.
Fear of Dying
“It is not death, it is dying that alarms me.
~ Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (born: 1533 died: 1592 at age: 59)
Having lived so long getting used to the threat of imminent death from HIV, I
think I am less afraid of death and dying than most people. The fear is all
rather silly. Most people never even get to experience dying. They go to sleep
or go unconscious first. People have no trouble accepting that when plants and
animals die, that’s the end of them as individuals. Their bodies are
cycled. It is vanity or wishful thinking to imagine something grander must
necessarily be the fate of human animals.
“Why should I fear death? If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not.
Why should I fear that which cannot exist when I do?
~ Epicurus (born: 341 BC died: 270 BC at age: 71)
The Future
In the future, I will put a layer of nanobots on my bare feet and glide around
like a jet-propelled ice skater, without clothes, over the shopping malls.
In the future, I will be able to wake up a totally different person if I choose.
In the future, I will wonder how all the people back in 2002
managed to endure the primitive technology, especially medicine.
In the future, I will be so intimately connected to everyone else, the
boundaries between me, us and them will blur.
In the future, I will wonder why it took so long to abolish war, hunger,
pollution, poverty, disease, overpopulation, superstition, torture, cruelty to
other species and slavery, when it was so abundantly clear how undesirable these
things were to nearly everyone.
Mother Theresa and The Billionaire
A billionaire paid a secret visit to Mother Theresa. He asked "Mother,
how much should I give?". She replied, "Give until it hurts.".
He replied, "But that would be too painful!" Mother T. said, "Bill,
Pay attention. I said "until"".
Being Gifted
If you are gifted, you will have a more difficult time giving up ego. Because
you have so much evidence that you would do a better job that anyone else (including
God) of managing your affairs, God sometimes conspires a catastrophic collapse
where you simply cannot cope on your own, and you learn, despite your many
special gifts, that you are just like everyone else. What a relief!
Going Downhill
Will things ever stop getting worse? Any time you choose, start looking
for evidence they are turning around, not perfect, just turning around.
The Cause of Alcoholism
Alcoholics imagine that the only time God will talk to them is when they are
roaring drunk.
Decisions Decisions
When a decision seems impossibly hard to make it is because you will do both —
perhaps sequentially, perhaps simultaneously.
Ending Hunger
For every 34.2 years that you do nothing to help, you
are 100% responsible for allowing one man, woman
or child in the third world to die. For every year you do nothing, you are only
2.9% responsible.
Ending hunger, protecting the environment and eliminating war are big problems.
Logically you should need to shoulder only 1/6,500,000,000th of the problem.
However, because so many people are so discouraged, they are doing nothing at
all, you will have to shoulder 20/6,500,000,000th of the problem. Do you think
you can handle it?
The Stock Market
- The stock market is a 3-card Monte, buffalo
jump, zero-sum game.
- Remain calm; buy low; sell high.
- Take advantage of your opponents’ weakness at estimating.
- Tip your advisors.
Not To Worry
The freedom to compose the life story of planet earth is only granted to those
who have demonstrated responsible behaviour. There is no need to worry about
this power being given to maniacs (like your sometimes self). You may still
participate, just not control.
Rainforests
Even if you don’t like the insects or the smell of a rainforest, it is
very reassuring to know it is there.
Definition of Extinction
Extinction is planetary genocide.
Definition of Love
Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, and trusting they will not
use it.
Joyce Cousins
Being Alone
Why am I so alone?
This is the wrong question.
Ask instead "where is the other lonely person I’m supposed
to pair up with?"
Channeling
When you are manic, ideas press so hard and fast on your consciousness it feels
as if they are coming from the outside. Channeling a "message from God"
is a bit like playing charades. You feel a pressure of meaning that can only be
relieved by composing. You translate the meaning pressure into English. You feel
gradually diminishing pressure as your translation gradually more accurately
expresses the precise meaning. Eventually you stop, even though you still have
not got it perfectly, simply because you can currently think of no better way in
English to express the idea. Sometimes the message comes through literally
word by word, like taking dictation over a noisy phone line. That feels more
frightening. You don’t channel; something channels through you. You are
like an intelligent secretary. The works are not yours, yet they sometimes look
as if they were.
Being Dumped
Your lover did not leave you; someone else even more magnetic than you, perhaps
inadvertently, attracted them away.
The Secret of The Universe
Whatever you put your attention on, you get more of. You can put it on
sex, lack of sex, stability, chaos, violence, peace…
Environmental Tax Subsidy
What would happen if we doubled the prices of all things that harmed the
environment and halved those of things that don’t?
Heaven
In Heaven, McDonald’s serves no food; they just manage the public
washrooms.
In Heaven, there are more trees than people.
Perceptivity of Genius
When you see what others do not see, this is called "perceptivity."
When you know what others do not know, this is called "genius." The "perceptivity
of genius" is what makes victory a foregone conclusion. Those for whom
victory is a forgone conclusion, they defend what cannot be attacked and attack
what cannot be defended.
Randolf Richardson paraphrasing a Chinese sage.
Orca FM
Orca FM was a radio station that broadcasted orca (killer whale) sounds live
from British Columbia, Canada. It is likely the radio station of most interest
to extra terrestrial civilisations monitoring earth’s radio emissions. It
is very difficult for large-brained marine mammals to develop radio transmission
technology, and even harder to develop reception.
Something For Laurie
“Some people… cut lawns… in the dark…” Imagine
that, spoken by, Laurie
Anderson.
Re-Publicans
Jesus really had it in for the publicans. I have found nothing definitive on his
opinion of Re-publicans.
Definition of Cosmic Consciousness
Cosmic Consciousness is the ultimate multiple personality disorder.
Definition of God
God: the thing you are most afraid of that won’t actually hurt you.
Dolphin’s Eye View
Scientists tell us to reduce our consumption of tuna to a few grams a week to
reduce mercury, but what are you supposed to do if you are a dolphin?
School for Celebrity
There aught to be a finishing school for people catapulted into celebrity.
Rubbing It In
The BC Government labels each bottle of free HIV drugs with the wholesale price.
Some people look at the price and say "I cannot reciprocate; I must die."
Others look at the price and say, "My! how the citizens of BC must love me
to spend so much money keeping me alive."
The Curare Mistake
The conservative assumption is to presume something is conscious until proven
otherwise. Otherwise we may make the curare mistake. Curare is a paralysing
poison used by South American jungle dwellers to tip arrows. Doctors decided to
use it as an anaesthetic for infants. It was completely successful. It had low
mortality and few side effects. It went into widespread use. One day a doctor
decided to test curare on himself for an operation since it was so successful
with infants. He felt every twitch of the surgeon’s knife exquisitely, but
could not move or shout out his pain. He could not so much as blink his eyes.
Curare was not an anaesthetic after all, just a muscle paralyser. Only then was
the use of curare as an anaesthetic for infants dropped.
The Last Day of My Biology Career
When I was high school, the biology teacher, Mr. Jackson cut the bottom shell
off a live turtle and attached its heart to a lever that charted the twitchings
on a graph. I told everyone he was a sadist. Mr. Mackenzie, the principal,
called me down to his office and gently chastised me for slandering a teacher.
Mr. Jackson reassured me The turtle feels no pain I
countered How you know? He replied It’s
spinal nerves are cut. I said ‘Well, it sure
looks as if it is in pain. It is struggling frantically to right itself.
He responded That is just a reflex. He offered Using
the turtle will save many lives. This turtle will last all day. Had I used frogs,
I would have had to kill one for each class. I accused Your
experiment has no point. Everyone already knows that hearts beat. He said You
are planning a career in biology. You will have to get used to this. I
said If that’s what it means to be a biologist I want
no part of it. Since I am writing this years later, I can compose a
better retort: If you are so sure this will not hurt, how
about I poke a scapel into the back of your neck and cut your spinal
nerves. Then you can reassure me, based on evidence, that the procedure is
painless. From my personal experience, nerves hurt like the blazes when you cut
them. Turtle nerves and human nerves are almost identical.
That was the last day of my biology career and my first day of animal rights
advocacy.
I am telling this story from memory, so don’t take those quotations
absolutely literally. The recollections of the other two present may differ.
Capital Punishment For Animals
What do humans consider a sufficiently humane way to kill a human?
- Lethal injection
- Helium
- soporific pill
What means do humans use to humanely kill animals not human?
- Electrocution
- Shooting
- scalding
- beheading
It disturbs me that the two lists are different. Humans are so impatient when it
comes to killing animals, yet they take decades to kill one of their own by
capital punishment.
Humans Have Trouble With Estimates
Humans overestimate the importance of short term fluctuations and underestimate
the importance of long-term trends.
Humans overestimate what they can do in the short term and underestimate what
they can accomplish in the long run.
Humans accurately estimate the intelligence of fellow humans and underestimate
the wisdom of everything else.
The Definition of Truth
The Truth is true. If it contains any bullshit, it ain’t the Truth.
The Delphinic Word for Human
The formal word for human in delphinese roughly
translated means dry-mammal-giving-strange-tastes-in-water-like-Christmas-tie-for-us,
or more literally giving-(object-indicator)-tastes-strange-(untranslatable)-fish-bony-flat-(receiver-indicator)-us-amen-(agent-indicator)-mammal-dry.
The informal term is roughly translated "stinky-pie" The phrase refers
to all the "gifts" of odd chemicals humans dump into the oceans.
Humans have a bad sense of what makes an appropriate gift, but it is still a
nice sentiment.
The Purpose of Evolution
It must have felt so good to finally evolve fingers, so you could finally
scratch the inside of your nose.
Innoculation
I wonder if you could innoculate kids against drugs by giving them tiny doses of
them.
Geological Point of View
When mother Earth gets age wrinkles, we call them mountains.
Losing Weight
It is loving when a man notices his wife has just lost five pounds and it is
even more loving if he doesn’t.
Why Men Are More Romantic Than Women
Women think they are more romantic than men, yet they blind to the I-love-you of
unplugging the toilet.
Men refuse to abandon tattered old clothes because of all the loving
associations they have.
Top Secret
"Top secret" usually means "I don’t want the citizens
knowing about this, because if they did, they would be furious."
Red Light At 3 AM
I feel silly waiting at a red light late at night with no cars in sight. The
purpose of the light is to manage contention for the intersection, yet there is
no contention.
Tell The Truth
Some future technology may unmask every lie you say or post. You might as well ’fess
up now and avoid future embarrassment.
Animal Propaganda
As children, we learned that animals breathe out carbon dioxide for the plants,
and plants breathe out oxygen for the animals. This is misleading. Plants
breathe out carbon dioxide at night (just like animals) and breathe it back in
again during the day. Animals have very little to do with the overall CO2/oxygen
exchange. Man’s machines and furnaces do, however, produce enough CO2
to throw it out of balance.
Definition of The Universe
The universe is a nested set of puzzles for baby intelligences to play in.
The universe is everything, including whoever or whatever created it.
Animal Rights
Taliban human rights violations are popcorn fights compared with whale sacrifice.
Tips To Authors
- Imagine in your audience is the being you most respect. Don’t waste time.
Get to the point immediately.
- If it does not make even you laugh or cry out loud, it won’t have any
impact on the audience.
- Reserve very for special occasions.
- Avoid my. Rephrase avoiding it. To a lesser extent, avoid I;
consider i. Then avoid me or any other possessive.
- You is not interested in I, but may be concerned about me.
- W E is more important than you.
- Don’t ask questions.
- Read your work aloud.
- Imagine your work will be read by every being on earth.
The Power of A Clear Question
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the
world; indeed it is the only thing that ever has.
~ Margaret Mead (born: 1901-12-16 died: 1978-11-15 at age: 76)
When I was about 11, I went to an all-candidates meeting in West Vancouver for
the federal election. I asked If you are elected, will you
permit nuclear weapons in Canada, yes or no? The politician waffled. Then
the crowd started chanting "yes or no"
The politician waffled, squirmed and eventually sat down humiliated. Ever since,
I have had great faith in the democratic process.
Tips To Dieters
- Think how much better it will taste if you wait until you are good and hungry.
- Graph your weight accurate to a tenth
of a kilogram. Also graph your 15-day moving average weight to see the big
picture. Just watch the graph. Note what you did when it goes up. Note what you
did when it goes down. Note what you did when it stays level. Don’t try to
make it move. After a few weeks you will have learned weight control. The
hard part is over. Now, take your weight down and level off. When you are
gaining weight, weigh daily. When you are losing weight, weigh less often.
- The time to resist temptation is while shopping, not while staring down a key
lime pie in your fridge. Don’t shop hungry.
- Get a juicer that takes a long time to clean, like the Braun MP 80.
- To learn self control, carry a bag of unopened Frito Lay potato chips with you
to give to a homeless person.
- Don’t be a tyrant. Coast (not gorge) to celebrate after each success.
- Stare at yourself and notice even tiny improvements.
- Think about the well-tested eating patterns of your great, great, great, great…
ancestors. Move in that direction. When you are hungry, eat. When you are not,
don’t. When you are thirsty, drink. Don’t confuse hunger and thirst.
When you are tired, rest. When you are sleepy, sleep. If a food makes you feel
good, eat it again. If makes you feel bad, don’t.
- Sleep with fewer blankets and the furnace/air conditioner off.
- If you eat every last scrap on your plate, there will be less for the starving
microbes in your garbage can.
- Contemplate that everything has to eat something else to stay alive.
- Ask God to tell you when and what to eat.
- It is ok to save some for later.
- Take exercise breaks. Even walking will do.
- It is important to establish the habit of regularly going to the gym. What you
do there, at first, is unimportant.
- Imagine you are going to be on Oprah
soon for some reason that is not quite clear at the moment. You just have
to look your best.
- Candy is not food. Don’t treat it as if it were. Savor it very slowly.
- Protein powders also taste sweet.
- Only when all else fails, try the aversion diet. Give a substantial sum of money
to a politician/evangelist you detest in the unlikely event you should fail to
meet your weight goal.
- Be gentle with yourself.
- Eat food you don’t particularly like.
- Think of food as fuel, not as pleasure.
(I painlessly lost 30 pounds so far using these tips.)
Saving the World
Everyone thinks we have to change the minds of the corporate mavens to save the
world. These old dinosaurs are irrelevant. The kids, Oprah’s viewers and
computer programmers in the third world are the real movers and shakers.
The Nature of Reality
Reality recapitulates fantasy.
Bumper Stickers
TRUST WHALES
Planet Earth, Love It Or Leave It.
Remember the à la mode.
Taking Credit
Taking credit for the economy is a little like a rooster taking credit for the
sunrise.
A Business Model
Every company survives solely from voluntary donations from its customers. The
company does, however, reserve the right to refuse to deal with excessively
stingy customers.
The purpose of a company is both:
- To make money.
- To render service.
In some cultures, companies exist satisfying only one of those two purposes.
Rendering service is the more fundamental.
Internet Etiquette
- Don’t steal time with perfunctory thank-yous.
- Don’t imply that response is obligatory.
Green Eyed Monsters
- If my lover is the sexiest person in the world, it is selfish to keep them all
to myself.
- If I want my lover to have maximal fun, I must let them boink a supercutie from
time to time.
On Abortion
Both abortion and banning abortion have major attendant evils. There is no hope
for compromise. One way out is better contraception. Having a baby should
require some deliberate act (other than having sex). Every baby deserves at
least two adult caregivers who can and want to care for him or her.
On The Second Amendment
Pooing on your lawn is probably protected by the constitution, but that does not
necessarily mean you should do it.
Psychotic break
psychotic break is what humans call moulting.
Car Names
Automobiles, machines and products are often named after "deities" :
Thunderbird, Mercury, Saturn, Neptune, Trinity, Shiva, Lemmon, Sun, ME, Quantum,
Nike, Venus, Mars, Baba, Ram, Athena, Alpha, Omega, Universe, Pan, Balder, Thor,
Vulcan, Prometheus, Chi, Karma, Corpus Christi, Apollo, OM, Planet, Calypso, Pélé
…
Location, Location, Location
A sign : You are here confidently confirms your existence.
Consider the possibility that heaven truly is right beside you.
Search and Replace
Search & Replace
does not seem to understand electronic Bible is implicitly read-only.
Costs of War
- It is ironic that in a war to defend freedom of speech, freedom of religion and
democracy, those are the first three things to go.
- Fanaticism induces fanaticism in its enemies.
- Posturing leaders forget they are slashing to death hundreds of their countrymen
with every, single, word.
"You are either with us or you are with the terrorists."
~ George W. Bush (born: 1946-07-06 age: 63)
Neutrality is not an option.
Relative Sinning
Order these in increasing order of severity:
- to be jealous of a vibrator
- to be envious of a dildo
Electronic Etiquette
An annoying machine is one that:
- wantonly wastes time.
- cares little for your convenience.
- insists you understand it deeply.
Conan’s Pleasure
I am disturbed. It seems ordinary people enjoy seeing others in pain, or at
least worse off than they are. Examples include wrestling, violent movies,
disasters and heavy dramas. This may be some innate cruelty, sharing unavoidable
pain, disaster planning, compassion or something else.
Thanks For The Memories
If you had perfect memory, you could proofread a book while walking in the park.
SPAM and Locks
Think how much extra work everyone goes through each day simply because a few
people refuse to behave ethically.
The Best Things In Life
Bill Gates could not go to work in his underwear.
Loans
Only the first and last day of a loan are all that much fun.
Housekeeping 101
- If you don’t use it frequently, it does not belong in your most
frequent drawer.
- Counters, desktops, bookshelves and eye-level cupboards are une espèce
de (a species of) most frequent drawer.
- If it is temporarily most frequent, it is ok to put it in your most
frequent drawer, temporarily.
- File recently-read books at the left end of your most frequent bookshelf.
If they won’t fit, remove books from the right end.
- While you are waiting, do something else.
- If you see something out of place, and you are going to its proper place anyway,
take it with you.
- Cleaning your home is a gift to your future self.
- Interior design is where you can have it your way without annoying the
neighbours.
- Leave the work incompleted.
P.S. You can’t do otherwise.
- Tackle the most annoying mess you can first.
- Decide on a proper place for each item.
- It’s ok to have a junk drawer, so long as you
only keep junk in it.
- Do a little bit each day.
- The easiest time to deal with a mess is before and just after you make it.
- Label the proper places for things.
Defragging
To write an efficient disk defragger,
model how you tidy your apartment, better still, how Martha Stewart tidies her
house.
Celebration
- A special occasion is more special if it is not marked on the calendar.
- The more the merrier; the less the looser.
- Celebrate the success of others.
Telephone Etiquette
How can the invention of the telephone be considered complete when it behaves
like a drunk barging into your dining room loudly banging on a bell demanding
your immediate attention?
On Ambiguity
In English, because words have more than one meaning, lying is all but
inevitable.
Suicide Prevention
Agree to say "Good bye cruel world" with a lungful of helium as part
of your final farewell.
Too Obvious To Mention
It is crueler than you realise, to punish someone, when they did not do anything
wrong.
If you want a luxury that is injurious to the environment, you must pay for it
first.
Forbidden Fruit
No one seems interested in discovering whether prohibition actually
increases or decreases the use of alcohol, marijuana or cocaine.
God Bless America
Remember to say please, even when addressing deities.
Compassion
Compassion is not weeping, hand-wringing or tearing your clothes. It is getting
of your tail and doing something useful to help.
Signs of Devilry
- No live Christmas trees permitted in the building.
(Presumably only cut ones with dried-out needles.)
- We are not responsible for lost articles.
(I wasn’t accusing you.)
- Buses do not pick up passengers after they have left the stop.
(How could they?)
- The pull cord on a bus means "Please let me off at the next stop"; the
pull cord on the Skytrain
means "Emergency! Stop the train, now!"
- Windows copy won’t tell you how many floppies you will need.
- Norton LiveUpdate doesn’t share with other workstations.
- In Granville Square is a art piece that looks like a jungle gym. There is a sign
on it that reads "Climbing this structure is forbidden by law".
- We have fully self-cleaning ovens but only partially self-cleaning toilets.
Signs of Angelry
- You are here
- ONE WAY
(not the only way)
- YIELD
- STOP
- WALK
- SLOW
- CAUTION
- VIEWPOINT AHEAD
- Obey your thirst
- The coin slot on a coke machine is camouflaged.
- Candy bars come wrapped in untearable paper.
Was It Heaven or Hell?
- Each prisoner has his own personal bed, one meter long.
- Each prisoner has his own personal salt or pepper shaker.
- Each prisoner has the key to someone else’s cell.
How long did it take you to decide?
Consider the possibility that you are already dead.
Magic
Magic is the art of making the audience selectively forget.
Tips For Debaters
- Your opponent can’t argue with the facts, a question, an unstated premise
or a quotation.
- The goals are to discover truth and to get your opponent to shift his position,
not to humiliate your opponent.
- No ad hominems.
- Agree with thine adversary quickly.
- Lay traps for your adversary so that whether he agrees with you or not, he still
has to shift his position.
- The more neutral you appear, the more persuasive you are.
Sins
Being proud of being gay is like being proud of being left footed.
Being proud of being straight is like being proud of being right handed.
Pride is a sin. That includes being proud of your country, your sexuality, your
looks, your intelligence, your wealth or anything else you had little to do with
creating.
Both pride and shame deny
that you are inextricably /connected to/linked to/part of/are a hologram of/blended
with/merged with/of/ the universe. Don’t confuse shame
with guilt.
The only envy is self envy.
Gluttony is taking more than your fair share of anything. Anorexia is refusing
to take your fair share. Both gluttony and anorexia deny that you are
inextricably part of the universe.
Lust is treating a person as an object, as is revulsion. Sex need not be
involved. Both lust and revulsion deny that you are inextricably part of the
universe.
Thieves are sleepwalkers who steal from their own pockets.
Sloth is wealth without work.
Screaming the name of a deity whenever you hit your finger is like dialling 911
and hanging up.
Honour your father and mother, even posthumously, with the greatest
gift.
Verbs
Faith!
Peace!
Truth!
Love!
I wish I spoke a language where the agent was optional and the action was
paramount.
God’s Problem
When God wants to get someone’s attention, he has to proceed carefully to
avoid scaring the living daylights out of them.
Religious Report Card
| Religion |
Virtues |
Sins |
Errors |
| Hinduism |
tolerance |
laziness |
thinking that souls are separate * |
| Buddhism |
peacefulness |
apathy |
confusing addiction and attraction |
| Judaism |
reason |
guilt, resentment |
living in the past |
| Greek |
complexity |
lust |
thinking gods do not have to behave responsibly |
| Roman |
order |
cruelty, gluttony, lust |
thinking Jupiter does not behave responsibly |
| Christianity |
compassion |
guilt, fear, prudery, judgementalness |
failure to fully accept the material plane as real |
| Islam |
equality |
fanaticism, fear, anger |
thinking that Allah needs to resort to violence |
| Atheism |
truthfulness |
arrogance, selfishness |
blind to the unknown |
| Alcoholics Anonymous |
accessibility |
sloth, lack of ambition |
thinking that God is local |
| Transcendental Meditation |
simplicity |
rigidity, greed |
promising more than can is delivers |
| EST |
impeccability |
fanaticism, fear, anger |
thinking that you need to resort to intimidation |
| Course In Miracles |
equanimity |
wishful thinking |
failure to accept the material plane as real |
| Living Love |
accessibility |
selfishness, callousness |
thinking that a religion can be based purely on logic |
| Aquarian Practitioners of Light |
smoothness |
self-indulgence, gullibility |
thinking that an individual can send another to hell |
| Quantum Miracles |
energy |
Sorcerer’s apprentice delusions of grandeur |
thinking you can leave the flock. |
| CCism |
simplicity |
impatience, lack of respect for individuals |
thinking that souls are not also separate. * |
* Souls are like countries. When you look
from space you can’t see the boundaries. That should help resolve the
paradox.
Most religions err in thinking only humans have souls.
Definitions of Interest Loans
- Usury.
- The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
- Stealing from your future self.
Definition of Sacrifice
- Gandhian: Doing an onerous task, such as studying, that will reap long term
rewards.
- Judeo-Christian: Wringing a dove’s neck and wasting the meat in the vain
hope it will make you feel better.
Inflicting pain on yourself or any other creature is more usually termed cruelty.
What Women Want
- In some languages there are no separate words for dance and fuck.
- What turns women on most looks very boring to a guy. Trust her when she tells
you what it is.
- Expensive chocolate, extra thickness.
- Ben & Jerry’s
ice cream.
- A massage
Learning Carpentry
You are punished for your sins in the same sense you are "punished"
when you hit you thumb with a hammer. God tries his hardest to teach you
carpentry.
The master carpenter grips your hands to show you how to control the saw. Don’t
worry; this won’t always be necessary.
The Good Intentions of Bullies
To attract God’s attention, a guru once recommended developing a juicy
ripe ego, ready to burst. His theory was that God would then come along to
transform it into something wonderful.
Worship
To an earthling, Sun worship comes naturally.
The problem with all the world’s great religions is that they were,
despite appearances, largely designed by men for men. No other species had much
input.
The Plants’ Complaints
- Please, be careful with any form of bridge, e.g. aircraft. Species were not
meant to fly that fast.
- For millennia the insects have designed us. Your designs, in comparison, are, er,
one-dimensional.
The Dolphins’ Complaints
- Eaten is all the food on land; now take ours and waste it!
- Please, gifts of cologne, no longer!
Love Thy Enemies
God loves the atheists because they:
- keep people debating the existence of God.
- are the wrecking crew and renovation team for obsoleted religions.
- love the Truth more than their comfort.
- will work for good without threats, bribes or pay.
Hints To Suitors
Imagine you were the quarry. In a sense, you are.
The Truth Hurts
Gautama Buddha was called honey tongued because he had the skill to tell
people unpleasant truths without insulting them.
Fighting Objectives
debating: discover truth.
hitting: pain.
screaming: damage hearing.
shouting: change mind.
killing: stop all actions.
vaporizing: annihilating the soul.
Definitions of Planet Earth
- a spherical park floating in space
- Mandelbrot’s blue green period
- fur feather fin phloem forming field
Weaponry
- The penis is mightier than the sword.
- Be too interesting to dismiss.
- Fight creatively.
- Tell the absolute truth.
Complementarity
As you perfect the universe, the universe perfects you.
As you perceive the universe, the universe perceives you.
As you destroy the universe, the universe destroys you.
You cannot change the universe unless you are willing to let it change you.
If you want the universe to show you her secrets, you must first show her yours.
Do unto the universe as you would have the universe do unto you.
If you want the universe to be more gentle with you, be more gentle with the
universe.
If you want the universe to stop trying to change you, stop trying to change the
universe.
If you want the universe to stop changing you, stop changing the universe.
If you want the universe to change you, change the universe.
When you co-operate with the universe, the universe co-operates with you; it is
not necessarily consciously rewarding you; you are just moving in harmony with
it.
Measuring Consciousness
Given we still have no way of measuring consciousness, it is anybody’s
guess what is and what is not conscious. The fail-safe assumption is that
everything, everylife or everyone is conscious, yet most use peer pressure to
decide.
Blinded By Science
Science is confined to a small domain by fear of ridicule.
Definition of Money
Money is man’s way of keeping track of
who owes whom a favour. Because of interest/usury, the rich get richer and the
poor get poorer, even when the rich do no work and the poor work 12 hours a day.
What then is this favour the poor owe the rich just for having more money than
they need? Is this just a loophole in the system or an essential feature of the
design?
On Pontificating
Be the planetary citizen you want everyone else to be.
Tips To the Paranoid
- If someone is spying on you, do something to really freak them out.
- Get off your high horse! The CIA has too many bigger threats to be bothered
fighting with you.
- All great programmers are paranoid.
- Every moment, you are on stage, with God, in the audience.
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