Gay : Gay & Black Glossary


Slang term for homosexual. A person is gay if they are primarily sexually attracted to members of the same sex. The term is mainly used for males, but applies to females as well. Usually the term lesbian is used for females. Whether you have sex, whether you are a virgin, whether you sometimes have sex with the opposite sex is irrelevant. What counts is which gender turns you on. If you are attracted primarily to the opposite sex, then you are straight, or heterosexual. If you are attracted roughly equally to both sexes, then you are bi, or bisexual. The term gay implies frivolous. That is one reason why younger homosexuals often call themselves queer instead. I like to use the term homoamorous because it makes clear that love and attraction are also involved, not just sex.

Gay refers to who you want to have sex with, not who you do have sex with. Many gay men are married to women. Straight men in prison may have sex with men, while fantasising about their girlfriends. They are not gay.

To a gay person its feels 100% natural to fall in love with someone of the same sex. Being told that only falling in love with the opposite sex is natural is like being told that wearing your shoes on the wrong feet is more comfortable and proper. It simply isn’t. Why should Reverend Fallwell decide the gender of my next lover? He knows absolutely nothing about me. It is just as outrageous as demanding that straight people only take same-sex lovers. It is just as much of an imposition.

There is a subtle difference between gay and homosexual.

Advantages of Being Gay

There is no way you can choose to be gay, but if you are, you can enjoy the following advantages.
  1. It is easy to get sex.
  2. You get to mix with all socio-econonmic levels and ethnicities.
  3. You get to make up the rules in your relationship. There are no stereotype male-female rôle s.
  4. Generally a freer sexuality. Being gay is such a taboo that, say, having your nipples licked does not seem terribly wicked.
  5. Without the responsibilities of wife and family, you are free to invent your life with adventure, dedication to a cause, creativity, whatever you want.

Disadvantages of Being Gay

If you are gay, there is nothing you can do about it, but you can work to reduce the disadvantages.
  1. AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome).
  2. Even well meaning people will patronise you. They will never take your relationship as seriously as a mixed-sex one, no matter how long lasting. They tend to treat you like a little boy who will someday grow up and become straight. They will try to tell you they know more about what it like being gay than you do.
  3. Bigots believe they have a moral duty to hound you, threaten you, kick you out of your apartment, get you fired from your job, beat you up, accuse you of paedophilia or even kill you.
  4. It is easy to get sex, but hard to find a life partner, the opposite problem straight males have.
  5. The secretiveness and anonymity of closeted life lead to one-time only sex. This leads to promiscuity. People don’t want to let you get to know them. This is all pretty shallow.
  6. Youth worship and consequently lonely older males.

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