Some years ago (in 1972, to be exact) an article with this title appeared in the
National Lampoon and caused quite a stir on campuses across the country. It was
however quite unreliable from the linguistic point of view, since the authors
had no qualms about inventing items they couldn’t find in their (obviously very
chintzy) dictionary. Even if you don’t wish to talk dirty in Esperanto or if you
can only talk clean in it and possess the same chintzy old dictionary (which
fails to list everyday items like 'cock', 'cunt', 'fuck' etc.), you may find the
following has some entertainment value if not immediate practical use! (You may
not, for example, know many native-speakers of the language. although they do
exist! However, you might consider composing a graffito in it the next time you
visit your library shithouse - you’ll be amazed at the number of racist and
xenophobic comments that will evoke and who knows, you might even get a reply in
Esperanto depending on the intellectual level of your present educational
establishment! Or you could always impress your untravelled friends with your
obviously profound grasp of another language after all, how many dirty words did
you manage to pick up after years of highschool French of Spanish? The present
article is we assure you, quite linguistically reliable!
| Esperanto Consonants and Dipthongs |
|---|
| aj |
as in 'Spanish fly' |
| aux or aý |
as in 'fat cow' |
| c |
always sound like ts in 'tits'; 'cico' (nipple) then sounds like 'tseetsoh' |
| cx or æ |
always sounds like ch in 'chomp on this, Myrtle'; [don’t mix up 'kaco'
(cock), with 'kacxo' (porridge), or 'kako' (poop, do-do). |
| ej |
as in 'foreplay' |
| eux or eý |
(quite rare): just 'eh' + 'oo' |
| g |
always hard, as in 'gonorrhea' or 'gobble'. |
| gx or ø |
always soft, as in 'Jack jerked off'; |
| hx or ¶ |
as in the German 'Achtung!' 'ach, vot a vopper you heff!'. |
| j |
always sounds like an English y, as in 'yoni' |
| jx or ¼ |
always soft, as in 'massage parlor', or 'pleasure pit' |
| oj |
as in 'joint'. |
| oux or oý |
(even rarer): English 'po' would be spelled as 'poux' in Esperanto. |
| r |
always rolled or flapped, as in French 'merde' or Spanish 'mierda' |
| sx or þ |
always as in 'shit' or 'shovel' |
| uj |
as in 'oh tsk it’s all gooey!' |
Well, was that really so hard? And the stress is always on the next to the last
syllable.
| Examples |
|---|
| Esperanto |
English |
|---|
| Sxekspiro sucxas bone. |
Shakespear sucks well. |
| Kaco estas bona ilo. |
A cock is a good instrument. |
| Mia fratino mangxis mian viandon. |
My sister ate my meat. |
| Lia onklino ne mangxas varman viandon. |
His aunt doesn’t eat hot meat. |
| Grandaj mamoj estus belaj. |
Big tits would be beautiful. |
| Sandra lekas fratajn kojonojn. |
Sandra licks brother’s (fraternal) balls. |
| Sandra lekos haran pugtruon. |
Sandra will lick a hairy ass-hole. Fektruon is shithole,
preferred by Non-Engish speakers. |
| Fiku vian patrinon rapide. |
Fuck your mother quickly. |
If you have studied these examples carefully enough, you should now be able to
say (among other things): My beautiful cock will be big. His balls are hot. Your
aunt licked big tits well. A hairy instrument would be beautiful. Shakespear
fucked my beautiful sister. Suck his hot cock quickly! Lick beautiful tits!
| Affix |
Meaning |
|---|
| (root) + acx |
decrepit, contemptible: putinacxo = decrepit
old whore, kacacxo = tired
old prick. |
| (root) + ad |
frequent, continous action: fikadi = to
go on fucking, lekado = the
process of licking. |
| (root) + ant |
Present participle active: fikanto = male
person fucking now. |
| (root) + ar |
collection, a group of: picxaro = a
group of cunts, prepuciaro = a
collection of foreskins. |
| (root) + at |
Present participle passive: fikato = male
person being fucked now. |
| (root) + eg + a/o |
Makes a thing bigger, and how!: kacego = big
cock, cicegoj = big
tits, varmega = very
hot, sucxegi = to
suck like mad, bonege = very
well, excellently |
| ek + (root) |
sudden or beginning action: ekpisi = to
begin to piss, ekfurzego = sudden
big fart. |
| (root) + ej |
place for/of: fikejo = a
place for fucking, picxejo = place
for cunts, where cunts are. |
| (root) + er |
portion of: fekerego = a
great turd, cxurero = drop
of cum. |
| (root) + et |
Makes a thing smaller, sorry: kaceto = little
cock, ileto = small
instrument, mangxeti = to
nibble, eat a little bit, hareta = slightly
hairy, piseti = to
piss a little. |
| fi + (root) |
morally bad: fiparoli = to
talk dirty, fibugroto = depraved
male about to be buggered. |
| (root) + il + o |
is an instrument for doing something with: fikilo
= fucker, a thing to fuck with, mangxilo
= an implement to eat with, e.g. knife, fork, spoon,
chopstick, finger, lekilo = licker,
a thing to lick with, hareta = slightly
hairy. |
| (root) + in + o |
is the feminine suffix: patrino = mother,
patro = father, onklino
= aunt. You know what sister
is, so how would you say brother? |
| (root) + int |
Past participle active: fikinto = male
person who has fucked. |
| (root) + ist + o |
habitual or professional: midzistino = professional
cock suckeress, as opposed to midzantino
who is doing it right now. cxuristo, habitual
wanker. |
| (root) + it |
Past participle passive: fikito = male
person who has been fucked. |
| (root) + mal + a/o |
the opposite of, with no connotation of bad or wrong: bela
= beautiful, malbela
= ugly, rapide = quickly.
mangxi = to eat, malmangxi
= to shit, |
| (root) + ont |
Future participle active: lekonto = male
person about to lick. |
| (root) + ot |
Future participle passive: lekoto = male
person about to be licked. |
| (root) + uj |
container of: kacujo = jock
strap, cock pouch, cxurujeto = little
scumbag. |
| (root) + unt |
conditional participle active: fekunto = male
person who would shit [if only…]. |
| aj |
ouch |
| akselo |
armpit |
| ambauxseksema |
bisexual |
| amori |
to make love, have sex |
| anuso |
anus |
| anusulo |
asshole (person) |
| atleta |
athletic |
| bugri |
to bugger, fuck in the ass |
| cico |
nipple |
| cxuri |
(cxuri sin) to jerk off |
| cxiesulino |
prostitute, whore |
| cxuro |
come, cum, jism |
| damne |
damned |
| dauxra |
lasting |
| dika |
thick |
| ekshibiciulo |
exhibitionist |
| fek |
Shit! (interjection) |
| fekado |
the act of shitting |
| fekajxo |
droppings, shitty thing |
| fekero |
turd, piece of shit |
| feki |
to shit |
| feko |
shit, faeces |
| fektruo |
shithole, asshole |
| fendo |
crack, slit |
| fikadi |
to go on fucking. |
| fikantino |
female fucking now |
| fikanto |
male fucking now |
| fikatino |
female being fucked now |
| fikato |
male being fucked now |
| fiki |
to fuck |
| fikintino |
female who has fucked |
| fikinto |
male who has fucked |
| fikitino |
female who has been fucked |
| fikito |
male who has been fucked |
| fikontino |
female who is about to fuck |
| fikonto |
male who is about to fuck |
| fikotino |
female who is about to be fucked |
| fikoto |
male who is about to be fucked |
| fikuntino |
female who would fuck |
| fikunto |
male who would fuck |
| fikutino |
female who would be fucked |
| fikuto |
male who would be fucked |
| fingrumi |
to masturbate |
| forfikigxi |
to fuck off |
| forta |
vigorous |
| frandzi |
to perform cunnilingus on |
| frapeti |
flick |
| frapi |
hit |
| froti |
to rub |
| furzi |
to fart |
| furzo |
fart |
| gadmeso |
dildo |
| geja |
gay. Not derogatory. |
| glano |
head of cock, knob |
| hara |
hairy |
| harega |
very hairy |
| hareta |
slightly hairy |
| huj |
ouch |
| kacego |
big cock |
| kaceto |
little cock |
| kaco-sucxi |
to suck cock |
| kaco |
cock |
| kacujo |
jock strap |
| kaki |
to poop, make do-do |
| kisi |
to kiss |
| klabo |
club, whopper, dong, whang |
| kojonoj |
balls |
| kondomo |
condom |
| korpulenta |
fat |
| kreteno |
an idiot, a moron |
| kurba |
literally bent. It is derogatory British slang for gay |
| leki |
to lick |
| liki |
to dribble, leak |
| longa |
long |
| magra |
lean |
| malcxastulino |
a slut |
| maldika |
thin |
| mallonga |
short |
| malmola |
hard |
| malpli |
less |
| malrapide |
slowly |
| malseka |
wet |
| malstreta |
loose |
| malvarma |
cold |
| mam-pinto |
nipple |
| mamo |
breast, boob, knocker, headlight |
| masagxi |
to massage |
| masturbi |
to jerk off |
| merdo |
shit |
| midzi |
to suck cock |
| mola |
soft |
| mordegi |
bite hard |
| mordeti |
nibble |
| mordi |
bite |
| naz-muko |
snot |
| onani |
to jerk off (oneself) |
| onanigi |
to jerk off (someone else) |
| ovoj |
eggs, balls |
| patrinfikulo |
motherfucker |
| peniso |
penis |
| picxo |
cunt |
| picxo-leki |
to lick cunt |
| pisi |
to piss |
| pizango |
whopper, big banana, plantain |
| pli |
more |
| postajxo |
behind, bottom |
| prepucio |
foreskin |
| publikulino |
prostitute, whore |
| pubo |
pubic hair |
| pugo |
bum |
| putinfilacxo |
son of a bitch |
| putino |
whore, tart |
| rapide |
rapidly |
| razita |
clean-shaven |
| rektumo |
rectum |
| rigida |
rigid |
| ronda |
round |
| samseksema |
homosexual |
| seka |
dry |
| seksumi |
to fuck (intransitive), to copulate |
| sid-vangoj |
ass-cheeks |
| skroto |
scrotum |
| sodomii |
to have anal sex (intransitive) |
| sodomiigi |
to sodomize, fuck in the arse (transitive) |
| spili |
to bore, screw |
| streta |
tight |
| sucxi |
to suck |
| sxmaci |
to kiss noisily, smack lips |
| sxpruci |
to spurt, shoot |
| umbiliko |
belly button |
| vagineto |
small vagina |
| vagino |
vagina |
| varma |
hot |
| viando |
meat |
| vipi |
to whip |
| volupta |
lewd, horny |
| voluptama |
lewd, horny |
Farewell, fair reader! We hope you have been entertained, if not edified, and
can now talk dirty in Esperanto. N.B. It is also possible to talk clean in this
language, and we hope you will try that too! Now, go and wash you mouth out, you
evil pervert.
How To Talk Dirty In Esperanto : Kiel Paroli Maldece en Esperanto
by Roedy Green ©1996-2008 Canadian Mind Products
Please email your feedback for publication, errors, omissions, broken/redirected link reports
