| Purchasing an SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle)
and then using it primarily for commuting a single passenger to work. |
Spray painting slogans on SUVs to tease the owners for trying to bolster their masculinity by purchasing such a
vehicle. Drilling small holes in the vehicles and inserting foul-smelling mercaptans to make the vehicles unusable. |
| Going to a national park and tossing McDonald’s litter out the car window. |
In the dead of night, dumping several tons of McDonald’s litter in the culprit’s front yard. Sending a
photo of the original crime to the local newsmedia so they wake up the occupants early in the morning for a comment. |
| Dumping toxic waste into the storm sewers. |
Breaking into the culprit’s house, and destroying his wine and brandy collection by inserting dead fish into
each bottle and resealing them. |
| Failing to take precautions to prevent an oil spill. |
Taking pesticide sprayers and spraying the culprit’s house and grounds with a fine mist of oil. Pouring crude
oil over the interiors of his automobiles. |
| Sacrificing a whale in a revival of primitive religions. |
Harpooning a human whale sacrificer to a tree in a similar burst of ancient religious revival spirit. |
| Fish farming that leaves behind salmon feces meters deep to infect wild species. |
Burying some valuable object owned by the fish farmer in salmon feces. |
| Killing a bear for its gall bladder, based on the superstition that it will increase potency. |
Removing a poacher’s gall bladder and feeding it to a bear as he watches to see if the reverse is also true. |
| Polluting rivers with feedlot cow feces. |
Throwing packets of cow feces wrapped to ressemble meat into the freezers of supermarkets that carry that packer’s
products. |
by Roedy Green ©1996-2009 Canadian Mind Products
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