Peeves

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Pet Peeves

1. Sloppy pronunciation. This was my Mom’s biggie too, so I came by it honestly. Speech is for clear communication. As English becomes the world international language, it is especially important to work toward standard pronunciation with as close a match between written and verbal forms. When people pronounce sloppily, dropping or changing letters, they are attempting to evolve the language in the opposite direction into incompatible regional dialects, with ever more complex pronunciation rules. I think one should endeavour to enunciate clearly. Some of the common errors that set my teeth on edge include:
   • axe-i-denl instead of accidental.
   • ay-yend, two syllables, instead of and.
   • bawdle instead of bottle.
   • air-ee-ahhhs’ instead of air’-ee-as for areas and other valley girl isms — extending a vowel and trailing off the pitch part way through.
   • kewpon instead of koopon for coupon.
   • koent instead of coudint for couldn’t.
   • dennis instead of dentist.
   • dint instead of didn’t.
   • Febuary instead of February. Even professional announcers like Jim Lehrer blow this one.
   • feud instead of food.
   • git instead of get.
   • eye’-rack instead of ee-rack’ for Iraq.
   • key-yids instead of kids.
   • lil instead of little.
   • lawndrymat instead of lawndro-mat for laundromat.
   • lookin instead of looking, and all ing words.
   • lugzury instead of lucksury for luxury.
   • mah instead of my.
   • new’-kew-lur instead of new’-klee-are for nuclear. Dinosaur enviro-cretins George W. Bush and ex-Alberta Premier Ralph Klein share this mispronunciation.
   • senner instead of senter for centre.
   • ser-yus-ly instead of ser-i-ous-ly.
   • ta instead of too for to.
   • stow-ah instead of store.
   • toadally instead of totally.
   • chooseday instead of tiuseday for Tuesday
   • wadder instead of water.
   • wuhnt instead of wouldn’t.
   • yers instead of yores for yours.
2. Grammatical errors. Some of the common errors that grate include:
   • if I was Prime Minister instead of if I were Prime Minister.
   • I seen the dog instead of I saw the dog.
3. Baby talk between strangers, e.g. i wanna and gimme. I have no problem with it between lovers who create a bond with special pair-only vocabulary. I cringe every time I see that word wanna in the newsgroups. The police once sent me a man who was molesting his 10 year old son to see if I could talk him out of it. No matter what I said, he just whined, “but I wanna”. He had the emotional age of a 4 year old.
4. TextSpeak when not cell-phone texting.
5. Christians, especially ones who try to convince me of their crackpot ideas by claiming God spoke to them personally.
6. People who claim they have no personal responsibility for their military actions.
7. People who litter.
8. Republicans.
9. People who call hamburgers sandwiches.
10. People who lard their speech with fillers like “basically”, “to tell the truth”, “honestly” and “at the end of the day”.
11. Propagandists who apply the terms such as terrorist and insurgent to those they wish to tar, even when the terms don’t remotely apply, while refusing to apply the terms to themselves, even when the definitions fit precisely.
12. The word devastated. It means wasted or ravaged. It does not mean humiliated, embarrassed, irritated, or angry.
13. The word hoohah, the battle cry of mindless bullies.
14. Politicians who say go forward at least once every 15 seconds.
15. People who say simplistic when they mean simple.
16. Ad hominem addicts, people who, in debating a point, spend 90% of their time insulting, attacking and humiliating their opponent. They have no points to defend their stance, so they try to win by intimidation.
17. People, usually conservative Christians, who imagine they have the right to act as my parents even though I am 60 years old by controlling what I should read, what movies I should attend, whom I should have sex with, what religious beliefs I should subscribe to and what I should wear. Surely I am as qualified as they to make those decisions for myself.

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