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Can I call you Dick?

Here is an email I received in response to one of my essays.

Can I Call You Dick?: Todd Grigsby : : 2001-09-17

Dick (can I call you Dick?),

Yes, I’ve looked over your rambling, disjointed, misspelled and grammatically bankrupt missive. A spellchecker would do you some good.

I used the spell checker in SlickEdit. Perhaps your are referring to the Canadian spellings.

So what manifesto was delivered by the terrorists? That they were insane, murderous, misguided, fanatical? That’s the only clear message I see from this. If you mean anything on paper, you can rest assured that any such manifesto, insane as it would have sounded and as much as it would have bolstered Bush’s campaign against terrorism, would have definitely landed smack in the laps of CNN (Cable News Network) ’s producers.

As for admitting that America is less than perfect, I don’t think there’s a person here in America that would say this country is perfect. It’s just the best…

We did not help Pinochet, the Ayatollah or the Taliban. The Ayatollah rose to power after the overthrow of the Shah and the Taliban assumed power after the Russians were driven from Afghanistan. You are astoundingly candid with your ignorance.

You are quite right. I was not there. I don’t know whether the US aided those dictators or not. However, Vice President Cheney knows, or could soon enough find out. I have asked the source of that information to provide evidence. If she was blowing smoke, I am going to be extremely embarrassed and angry.

Bush didn’t ignore warnings from anyone about the upcoming attacks.

You could mean that two ways:

  1. There were no warnings. Yet US TV says there were.
  2. There were warnings, but they were heeded. Yet cockpit doors were left unsecured.
America, while the largest polluter, is not alone in this transgression. Northern fishing resources are depleted by Canada as well as America. In fact, you could make a similar list for Canada regarding pollution, depletion of resources, etc.

Of course! The population of America is 285,170,255. The population of Canada is 31,002,200. If you assume Canadians and Americans are roughly equally hard on the environment, what the USA does is nine times more important than what Canada does, simply because the USA has nine times the population of Canada and thus nine times the impact on the environment.

I don’t see Canada going to a socialist system either. And if you’re going to point fingers about whaling, point them at Japan and Norway. Or point them back up your nose, whatever…

If I were writing an essay on the environment, I’d agree with you wholeheartedly. But that was an essay primarily on placating terrorists. What Japan and Norway do is somewhat irrelevant in that context.

Now, once again, Dick, I suggest you stick the Peace Lake right up your bum. You’re, what? 12 years old? How can you possibly think you’ll be taken seriously with this kind of crap? Get off your mother’s computer before she catches you spreading this kind of ignorance and sends you to your room.

Pardon me : Todd Grigsby 2001-09-17

Y’know, Dick, I just reread that bit of trash you put on the web and I can’t believe I took the time to respond. Don’t bother replying — you’re not worthy of my time.

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