Quotations are selected from this pool (and other quotation pools) in a pseudorandom way every hour and inserted at the top and bottom of some of the major pages on this website. Feel free to copy any of these quotes and paste them for whatever purpose you please, including on your own website, blog, social media page or forum debate posts.
If you want 100% fidelity, you will have to pick a partner that others are not going to try to get in bed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How I ache with nostalgia for the ’70s. Is it because the world was full of such promise with gay lib finally getting some traction, or was it simply because I was young and popular?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Abstinence is about the worst possible Darwinian survival strategy. We have evolved excellent defences to subvert it. It is hopelessly naïve to expect teens to comply.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What is with these ignorant old farts who imagine against all science that abstinence is the best way to prevent teen pregnancy and STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) ? Have they totally forgotten what it was like to be a teenager horny out of your mind?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Abuse of Child Abuse
On Oprah’s farewell show, she featured 200 men who had been abused as children. Each held a photo of themselves at the age the abuse began. To my astonishment, one young man held a photo of himself at about age 20. Another showed himself at his university graduation. This is not child abuse. This simple remorse and refusal to take responsibility for one’s actions. It is most likely Christian abuse, where Christians convince someone that some innocent sexual activity in the past was a monumental sin and drive them psychotic over it. Lumping every sexual activity that Christians don’t approve of as child abuse weakens the meaning of child abuse. It undermines efforts to protect real children.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Acceptable Homosexual Attraction
It is amusing that society makes one exception in its disdain for homosexual attraction. Kissing, hugging, nakedness, collecting pictures, gushing and obsession with the minute details of the life of the beloved are all considered manly if the object is a sports star.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Males have a model for accepting aging. They tend to be attached to old shirts and sweaters. They accumulate memories.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A workaholic, an alcoholic, a meth addict, a manic depressive, a child molester, someone who hates kids, a narcissist, someone without any training in care of infants… all can accidentally have children.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the most important things to make your relationship last is to acknowledge and appreciate the things your partner does for you. Even when you don’t like them, you can still appreciate the thought. Think how crushed you feel when someone criticises or ignores something you did to please them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Kellie Leitch, at the end of a Conservative leader debate chastised the moderator for thanking the gentlemen for debating. In the name of female equality, she demanded the moderator acknowledge that she had different genitals from the other debaters. This strikes me as odd. It is irrelevant. I would think the ideal would be to pay no attention to genitals and treat everyone equally. In two hundred years, in a more enlightened age, the moderator would say Thank you guys for coming.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Act Your Age
Pining for sex as a senior is as silly as pining for making mud pies as an adult.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Addicted to Looks
If you spend a little time with Google Image looking actors and actresses, It becomes clear how dazzling good looks last for only a few years. They may look good for their age in later years, but they will never again have that ability to take your breath away. So choosing a lifetime partner based on startling good looks cannot work. Similarly, if you have such looks, keep in mind they are a fleeting gift. Your life will be miserable if you behave with contempt as if you still had them. For a lifetime of happiness, you must develop other gifts.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Addiction to Beauty or Youth
If you are addicted to having a extraordinarily handsome boyfriend, have a look at others who have managed to attract one, and the problems that come with it. Then find some photos of the handsomest actors of the 1970s to 1990s. Then look at photos of them year by year to the present day. Notice how quickly that bloom of perfection fades, even with people who have access to the latest age-defying technology. It can be quite depressing, like looking at vandalism of Greek statues.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Adopt to Avoid Genetic Disease
I am amazed that people can be so selfish they will have children when they or their children have serious genetic defects, genetic diseases (such as Huntingdon’s, Downs and diabetes) or gross obesity. They could adopt. They could use reproductive technology to avoid the defect.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Adopt! Don’t Breed
With modern technology, the child caretakers, the bearer, the egg donor and the sperm donor need have no genetic relationship with each other. Couples can blow $100,000 in the process. This is ridiculous. They should adopt instead. There is less risk and less cost and no contribution to the population explosion. The parents don’t have to adopt any particular baby unless the baby is proven healthy and suitable in every way. With reproductive technology, the parents are stuck with the child no matter how deformed or disabled.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Adopting for All Ages
When couples fantasise about having children, they picture them at a preferred ideal age. They will enjoy them for at most one year at that age. The rest of the time, they will be quite different.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A couple can be meth addicts, alcoholics and carriers of a couple of genetic diseases. The husband can be a wife-beater, but they can have all the kids they want. On the other hand, prospective adoptive parents are scrutinised so intensely only a small fraction of them are considered good enough. This is irrational.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Consider how conceited is the woman who seeks a husband among already married men. She knows he has a roving eye. She knows he will leave his mate when he finds one slightly more attractive. She imagines that she will be the most attractive female he will ever meet.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I wince when I see couples in the movies e.g. Burn After Reading or real life split up just because one had sex with someone else. It seems as nuts as if they had split over:
- One went to a movie without the other.
- One rode a roller-coaster with someone else.
- One got a massage.
- One failed to cut the lawn when they promised to.
- One went on a fishing trip with their school friends without them.
Why would anyone throw away all future wonderful experiences with their partner for such a trivial reason? It is like a terrible-twos temper tantrum.
Some people would say to me, But if don’t get jealous, if you don’t dump your partner immediately for such an outrage, it proves you never cared about them. Hardly! I don’t know anyone who takes getting dumped harder than me. I love my partner. I want to do everything in my power to make their life as pleasant as possible. Logically, the more I can successfully do that, the less motive they would have to abandon me. Why would I want him to feel deprived? I love him! Why would I deny him the gift that would he would most enjoy?
Why are my views so different from mainstream?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- I am gay. I know what it like to be a horny male, just like my partner. Further, demanding monogamy is impractical. I know perfectly well that if I had ever said to my partner, How dare you want to jump that cutie’s bones over there, he would probably have replied And you don’t? or at perhaps the guy standing behind him?
- My birth family did not see loving more than one person at a time as wicked, more as an overflowing of good will. They found partners who were cool with it.
- I studied animals since I was a young child. Almost no species are monogamous but albatrosses, beavers and Malagasy giant rats. I never had any delusions otherwise. Logically because of its rarity, monogamy should be classified as a perversion.
Dan Savage on Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
Adultery is Common
The only Americans who don’t occasionally have sex outside marriage are those so homely or so ill that they get no offers. Yet the news media make a game of pillorying some random celebrity for adultery, pretending they have committed some rare and unforgivable crime.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
As a gay man, when I see a woman blubbering as if the world ended when she discovered her boyfriend had sex with someone else, I think to myself Oh, for pity sake. Grow up. What matters is did he take proper precautions to avoid HIV (Human Immuno-deficiency Virus)..~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Adultery is Not Grounds for Separation
One of the silliest reasons for leaving your partner is because they had sex with someone else. What counts is how he treats you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Adultery: A Fact Of Life
One in 400 fraternal twin pairs have different fathers. 1 in 5 children, when tested with DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) prove to have a different father than the official one. Because females are more likely to use birth control with lovers than husbands, the amount of philandering is even higher than these statistics suggest. Humans are like other primates. The males work hard to keep their females from mating with anyone but them and females want a variety of fathers for their offspring to ensure at least one survives. Yet our culture pretends that humans are monogamous and couples are obligated to divorce on discovery of even a single instance of adultery. Even gays sometimes fall into this folly.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantage of Being Gay
One of the advantages of being gay is that nobody is ever going to trick you into getting them pregnant, (or falsely claiming you got them pregnant) then forcing you to marry them and support them and the child for the rest of your life.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantage of Celebrity Lust
The advantage of having a crush on a Hollywood personality is they will never dump you, never berate you or cut you off from knowing about what they are doing.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantage of Porn
Porn has one advantage over the real thing. The actors don’t care how quick or slow you are.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantage of Porn
Porn has one advantage over the real thing. The actors don’t pressure you to keep going after you have just come.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantage of Porn
Porn has one advantage over the real thing. No matter how attractive the actors are, they never tell you to get lost.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantage of Porn
Porn has one advantage over the real thing. No matter how good looking the actors are, they never tell you to stop staring at them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Advantages of Rejection
It is a lot easier to fantasise about someone you have never had sex with. You can imagine it working out dozens of ways better than it would have in reality. So save a few for later.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The most common advice you will get in person or in books is Don’t give up! or Hang in there!. In general, this is great advice, with one exception, when you have been dumped. The faster you can give up, the faster the pain will stop. The faster you can get on with a decent relationship. When you were together, you conducted an elaborate experiment to see if you two were compatible. You clearly were not. Hanging in there will not change that. That is not a failure on your part or your partner’s part. You just don’t mesh, even though it seemed at first you did. Think square peg, round hole.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Affecting A Texas Accent
Most people think English accents sound intelligent and sexy and Texas accents sound stupid and bigoted. Why then do so many people affect Texas accents?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Age Of Consent
In the USA, in 27 states, there is no minimum age for marriage. paedophilia is fine, so long as you keep it within marriage. The states with the highest child marriage are Texas, Florida, Kentucky, Alabama, Tennessee. Governor Chris Christy of New Jersey vetoed an anti-child marriage bill.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Age of Consent
It is ridiculous to treat a 60 year old man have sex with a 5 year old girl as equivalent to a 15 year old boy having sex with a 14 year old girl. Remember how horny you were at puberty. You would have had willingly had sex with almost anyone had you the opportunity. Consider how girls especially can make themselves look older with makeup and dress. It is not fair to make a male go to jail because a female convincingly lied to him about her age. I suggest making the age of consent be puberty (with some special provision for delayed puberty individuals). That cannot be faked.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Our society ostensibly values honesty. Yet the young openly try to trick others into thinking they are older and the 30+ openly try to trick others into thinking they are younger.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Age Of Puberty
In Canada, in 2013, the average age of puberty for boys is 11 and for girls is 9. In contrast, in 1890 the age of puberty for girls was 18. That change should be reflected in our age of consent laws.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you get older, it can be frustrating because your body does not perform sexually as it used to and your body is not as sexually attractive as it once was. You have redirect your energies to new goals that are more attainable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Young people have the mistaken notion that as you get older, the age of your sexual fantasies rises. The age of who says yes rises, so that is who you pair up with, but young people look just as attractive as they ever did no matter how old you get. Young people fight off the unwanted attention from adoring oldsters with repellents like nose rings, purple hair, valley speak, hammer music (music that sounds like someone forging a barbecue) and home-made tattoos. The young are immune to them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Because we age gradually, our own aging creeps up on us almost imperceptibly. A corollary is that when you go to a reunion, everyone in the room thinks they aged the least.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) is a Straight Disease
Christians chastise gay women for having a high HIV rate when it simply not true. They have a rate lower than heterosexuals. Look worldwide, not just in the USA.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Imagine a guy who liked camping, hunting and fishing. He was big into pro sports, hockey, football and basketball. He liked to go out with the boys for a pint. He belonged to a club that restored classic cars. His wife was always complaining he did not stay home to do chores. This guy clearly prefers male company to female, but nobody gets on his case (other than his wife). A gay guy is similar. It is just his preference for male company also extends to the bedroom.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Of All The Nerve
Imagine somebody said to you, Liking skinny women is evil. I like zoftig women. You should too. Just ignore where your heart leads you and go where I think you should. (or vice versa) You would think they were mad. Why should you do something against your nature? something that brings you no joy? That is what it is like being gay with so many busy bodies telling you whom you are supposed to be attracted to.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If it is indeed true that pharmaceutical execs have withheld drugs that cure HIV, or avoided researching such drugs in order to sell expensive drugs patients must take indefinitely, I wish terrorists would kidnap them and shove a bottle full of their product down their throats so they would have a hint of the hell of a lifetime of noxious side effects they have subjected their patients to.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Alpha Male Promiscuity
One of the characteristics of the alpha male is a lifetime of multiple sex partners. No wonder politicians are forever in hot water with their exposed adulteries.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Alternatives to Changing Diet
People say it would be too radical or too difficult to reduce meat and sugar in their diet despite the health benefits and the benefits to the global ecosystem. Oddly, they don’t seem to mind the alternative — a quadruple bypass operation costing $100K where they cut you open like a clam.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The desire to screw and be screwed is similar to the desire to have one’s back scratched. Yet me make such a production of it. We put so many road blocks in the way.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Anal sex is one of the most wonderful features of existence. Two males can simultaneously give each other a natural pleasure more intense than any other, short of drugs. So long as you take proper precautions against STDs, it has no drawbacks. It is strange that Christian are so intensely opposed to something so pleasant.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you feel hurt at how someone rejected your advances, have a look at how animals rudely give one another the brush off. Yet, you never see them moping.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Animals Do Not Mope
No animal mopes if it is rejected or dumped. If you are dumped or rejected, instead, take an inventory, asking yourself what is it about me that my ex did not like or that other potential partners might not like. Then get busy fixing it. It is just wishful thinking to imagine that someone will come along who finds you perfect just the way you are.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I notice that anti-feminists are usually heterosexual males. Perhaps it is because women withhold nothing that gay men want. Perhaps is because gay males feel greater kinship with females, bonded by a common attraction to males and both victimised by heterosexual male brutality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Anti-Gay Bigotry is Still Bigotry
If the Boy Scouts said No Jews, no blacks, no Italians you would expect the state of California to say Shape up or forget about public subsidy. Why should No gays, no atheists, no transgendered people be treated any differently? If you want a public subsidy, you must serve the public. If you don’t, that is like selling tickets then refusing admission to selected hated groups. If gays, atheists and transgendered people are taxed to provide the Boy Scout subsidy, they too deserve admission.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When Catholics work to ban any mention of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual) in schools, what is their intention? The result is terrifying a young LGBT student that they are an utter freak, unique and alone in the universe who is best off to commit suicide.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We have Rogaine to regrow scalp hair and Vaniqua to suppress facial hair. But where are the products to regrow facial hair and suppress scalp hair?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Appeal of Prostitution or Rape
I find it hard to understand that anyone would find rape or using prostitutes appealing. Most of the appeal of sex is someone thinking you are terrific.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Appeal of Swagger
Swagger appeals to gay men.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If someone is besotted with you based on your appearance, don’t be surprised when they lose interest as your looks fade, or they find someone who fits their ideal even more perfectly. Ditto for your fame or fitness.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you want others to perceive you as intelligent, the most important thing to do is stop saying um. Just leave a pregnant pause when you are thinking of something to say next. By um I include other padding such as basically, you know, moving forward, and stuff like that and verbal tics such as dragging out syllables with a tentative Valley girl swoop that says Is what I said correct?.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Argument for Tolerating Porn
We live in a relatively straight-laced society, at least in that our sexual desires are much broader than what is socially permissible. Pornography fills the gap, allowing people to indulge in forbidden pleasures without actually committing them. We censor pornography at our peril. We could leave people no other way to let off steam than acting out.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Arranged marriages have two advantages:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- The parents are more rational in making the match than the children. The children are primarily concerned with sex appeal.
- The children don’t start out the marriage in a rush of hormonal infatuation and feel disappointed when the excitement subsides. They have more realistic expectations for the marriage.
Arranged Marriages for Gays
Can you imagine the hubris of a parent handing two lists to their teenage son, one acceptable partners and one unacceptable and expecting his hormones to obey? That is what every Christian bigot does if their son is gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
As a gay man, one of the least attractive features of females is the way they spend so much time artificially altering their appearance with paints, powders, false hair, uncomfortable clothing… Yet I have met straight men who absolutely insist on it. They have no interest in women who don’t look airbrushed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I have an three objections to creating artificial children. By that I mean technologies that allow women who are infertile or too old to have children to have genetically related children, and to genetically modify or select embryos to improve appearance, intelligence, strength… (I don’t include repairing genetic defects and genetic diseases.)
~ Roedy(1948-02-04 age:70)
- All the global problems of the planet are exacerbated by overpopulation. These technologies are aimed at raising the population.
- We don’t have enough parents to care for unwanted children as it is. With these technologies we are encouraging vanity and callousness.
- Parents will do terrible things to their kids, as they have to their dogs warping them to fashion, ignoring the child’s practical comfort and utility. We don’t need a world of Brad Pitt clones or little girls who look like Hello Kitty.
The CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) could do some good in the world by covertly assassinating the leaders of countries that ignore the civil rights of their citizens. They could be made to look like a variety of natural causes. Uganda, Zimbabwe, Uganda and Egypt are such an extreme cases, it would take such an extreme measure to shake things up.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Athlete Exemption
Pro athletes have special dispensation to hug, kiss, hang out nude together and pat each other on the behind without being considered gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Attracting a Partner
Sit on a bench and watch the people walk buy. You will notice that very of the people are good looking, by advertisement standards. Yet even the ugliest people have partners. It is not hard to attract a partner, only a partner considerably better looking than you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Attraction to an Ex
One of the greatest misfortunes in life it to be strongly attracted to someone who detests you, usually an ex. Even when you see your idiocy and the futility, you still can’t turn off your attraction. The best you can do is behave in a way that you do not make a fool of yourself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Attraction to the Cruel
To be strongly attracted to someone who is cruel is one of the greatest misfortunes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Attraction to Others Is Inevitable
If you pick a sufficiently unappealing male partner, is it within the realm of possibility he will never have sex with anyone else but there is absolutely no chance he won’t want to. Demanding he never be attracted to anyone else is like demanding he never pee or feel like peeing except in your presence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Attraction to Revolting Females
When I see a straight male in staring at some female dressed like a prostitute, plastered in makeup, making crude gestures, I find it difficult to believe he is not faking his attraction. I shiver in disgust, but then I am gay. It is more revolting than if he were contemplating coitus with a wart hog.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Attraction of Sadism
Is sadism just a power trip? Is the novelty, like a topical anaesthetic, performing extremely harmful acts and feeling nothing? Or it is just some wires crossed in the brain so that hurting others triggers sexual pleasure? Judge Hellerstein once subpoenaed George Bush’s collection of kiddie torture/rape videos from Afghanistan and Iraq. Bush successfully stonewalled. Apparently some sadists can derive pleasure merely from viewing or commanding torture.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Attraction Under the Hood
Did you ever notice that the people you like and the people you want to have sex with are not necessarily the same people? When you are horny, even if you are gay, at some level you are working out the genetics of the imagined offspring and the odds your partner will be useful in raising them. That is why opposites attract — to compensate. Not many people want to have sex with you when you are old because, on an unconscious level, they are worried you will die before raising the offspring.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Atypical Gay Behaviour
A gay pride parade is as typical of gay life as Mardi Gras is of straight. If you doubt me, ask where are all those people with pink hair are hiding the rest of the year?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
My friend Leonard Cole advised touching your partner any time you left their physical presence, even if just to leave the room. This counters the unconscious interpretation of being abandoned.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Avoiding Gratuitous Cruelty
I think true paedophiles are rare, people who are turned on to someone just because they are child. Males don’t work that way. Males require very specific physical attributes to turn them on. paedophiles don’t ask to have these sexual triggers any more than I asked to be turned on by trim males or you to be turned on by Russian women with enormous mammary glands. So I think it is unfair to make the lives of paedophiles as miserable as possible. We used to torment the mentally ill. We are beginning to stop thinking it mandatory to torment gays. We are just beginning to treat transgendered people as fellow humans. Yet we still feel justified in tearing a paedophile to pieces, even when he has not even touched a child. Eventually, we will get around to humane treatment of paedophiles too, which does not mean letting them molest children, but it does mean avoiding gratuitous cruelty.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Avoiding Marine Jaw
Testosterone increases a man’s sex drive. It makes him fight. It makes him a bully. It makes his penis grow. It makes is muscles grow. It makes his face look like a Marine. It makes him promiscuous and selfish. They are cruel to children. A hunk of man like this may ring your chimes, but he will be a trying life partner. Women instinctively avoid these types as marriage material, even if they find them attractive.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Avoiding Passing Genes
If you had an abusive parent, you might want to avoid having children yourself to avoid passing on her genes. However, any child of yours has four sources of genes (your parents and your partner’s parents). Her genes will be watered down. Her tyrant genes may tamed to manifest merely as assertive, enough to provide a little spunk. If you doubt, note the degree of similarity your nieces and nephews to your mother.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
People complain bitterly about the trials of caring for infants, children and teenagers. Yet people spend tens of thousands of dollars and years of effort to create a baby by IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation).~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Baby Colour Coding
Prior to WWI (World War I), babies were dressed in white until they were six years old. White was the easiest colour to bleach.
Prior to WWII (World War II), male babies were dressed in pink, and female in blue.
After WWII, male babies were dressed in blue, and female in pink.
Colour coding is a planned obsolescence technique. It prevents handing down clothes and toys to an opposite gender sibling. The parents must buy everything new.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If people do not eagerly want to look after children, we should not press them to. Raising children is a huge amount of work and anyone less than eager will feel resentment and will take it out on the child.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bad Boy Appeal
Women are strangely attracted to bad boys. Why? Perhaps rebellious males have better odds of survival. They don’t meekly surrender. Perhaps they just have more energy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bad Relationship Advice
When people are having trouble with their relationships, they listen to pop music. Yet entertainers have notoriously rocky relationships. These are the last people you should be taking advice from.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bad Relationships are Normal
Most relationships do not last and most end badly. So there is no need to berate yourself when yours does too. Its normal.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Badly Defined Rape
Some people are trying to extend the meaning of rape to include failure to stop within a tenth of a second when on the brink of orgasm their partners cries out stop. This is ridiculous and waters down the true meaning of rape. Even the term statutory rape is deliberately misleading to make it sound like a more serious crime than it is.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In a movie, if a woman vamps and comes onto a man, I find it nauseating. The fact he could be attracted by such blatant manipulation seems inconceivable. I cannot relate at all to his goo goo mindless attraction. I presume straight people find male-male attraction equally baffling.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight men can’t help but think that gay men secretly find women attractive, but for some inexplicable reason refuse to admit it. Straight women have less of a problem since gay men find the same people attractive that they do. As a gay man, even though I have ample scientific evidence that straight men prefer women, I can’t help but feel they are forcing themselves to pretend to enjoy women out of duty/pressure and to avoid men out of prudery.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight people have trouble believing we gays are serious. They look on homosexuality as an affectation like a nose ring designed to irritate one’s parents. On the other hand, when I watch a movie and see a young man attracted to a girl, it seems he must be faking the attraction. Usually the female is shallow and boring as a bowl of overboiled vegetables.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In 2014-09, the British decided to ban quite a large number of sexual acts in pornographic films including: female ejaculation, spanking and face-sitting, all without any justification explaining the need for the measures. Presumably, there is some prude in power who finds these particular acts disgusting, who imagines he is the honourary mother of all Britons and who thinks His god put him in charge of British pornography.
I can’t think of any argument for banning harmless acts. Of course, you could at least make a case for banning harmful ones, e.g. bareback sex, needle sharing, extreme stretching leading to an emergency room visit afterwards, rape, use of firearms, simulated snuff, overeating or smoking on the grounds emulating the actors might harm someone.
Even when there is a clear harm from viewing something, or emulating it, you have to think twice about banning it. With fantasy life blocked, the porn aficionado with a smoking fetish, for example, will turn to real life or black market porn sources. As Napoléon observed One should never forbid what one lacks the power to prevent.
Further, you would also have to build a case for banning some activity in porn films, such as simulated snuff, but not in family-rated films.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Banning Traditional Marriage
Right wingers like Donald Trump imagine that gays want to destroy traditional marriage. Nonsense. They want straight people to carry on exactly as before. They like what straight people are doing in traditional marriages — commitment, raising families. They just want a chance to do it too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bashing A Movie Never Seen
It is amusing hearing old farts, who have never seen the movie fulminate against Brokeback Mountain as if it were some sort of porn movie. It is about Christians, how cruel, bigoted, ignorant, arrogant they are and how they take such pleasure in making everyone around them miserable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Be Careful What You Wish For
You might think you would have incredible luck to attract a lover as handsome as a movie star, dynamite in bed, well hung, funny… The catch is lots of other people will want him too, and sooner or later someone will attract him away. Thereafter, it is very hard not to compare everyone against him. It casts a grey pall over everything.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Be Like Us! Really?
Heterosexual men and women are so rude to and inconsiderate of each other, I find it ridiculous when they try to tell us gays we should be more like them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Normally society values the outliers, the most intelligent, the swiftest, the strongest, the most outgoing, the tallest, the biggest penis. But when it comes to beauty, we want the absolutely perfectly average. That is why two ugly parents can have a beautiful child. The differences that make them considered ugly can average out.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The casting directors for CSI (Crime Scene Investigator) :Miami find more beautiful males than anyone since Pier Paolo Pasolini.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If it were not for their good looks and sexual vitality, the young are so insipid no one would want anything to do with them. That beauty is like a cosmic handicap to help them compete in society.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Beauty Queen Smile
What is the meaning of the frozen exaggerated smile that beauty queens love to flash? I’m rich. I can afford a perfect smile and you can’t.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Beauty vs Kindnesses
Over time, you will come to like a considerate but ugly partner better. Over that same time, you will come to like a selfish but beautiful partner less. This one of the obvious lessons you learn from fairy tales, but it is practical wisdom.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being Calvin Klein
I would hate to be Calvin Klein surrounded by the handsomest young men in the world. The contrast with my own body, ravaged by age, would be unbearable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you are dumped, your partner’s personality completely changes. You could not possibly live with someone so nasty. You are longing for the way they used to be. One of the keys is to accept that they have changed and you don’t like the way they are now. You would not want to get back together with them the way they are now.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you get dumped, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking you are fundamentally flawed, and you will have to live the rest of your life without love. All you have discovered is you are not a suitable partner for one person. There are millions of others who might find you perfectly suitable. Whatever you do, do not fall for that soulmate crap. There are plenty of lovers for everyone.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being Dumped Is Just a Mistake On Your Part
If your true love dumps you, don’t kid yourself. At best they might have stayed with you another year. They were not a suitable lifetime partner for you, (though they might be for someone else). You simply mistook them for one. That is not a mistake worth pining over. It takes more than beauty or uninhibited sexuality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being Dumped Is Not Unique
If your lover dumps you, attempting to cause as much emotional hurt as possible, it can feel as if what you are experiencing must be unique in human history. It helps to learn this is a common part of the human condition. Billions of people have gone through this before you, being hit even worse. The hurt never goes away completely, but at least it becomes tolerable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Is Being Gay A Choice?
Bigots insist that gays choose to be gay. They also insist that they can easily tell if someone is gay just by looking at them, and that they can tell even when the gay person is still a toddler. If this were so, at what age did the child decide to be gay? How did the child even know such a choice existed? By what mechanism did their appearance change after they decided to be gay, so bigots could tell they had already chosen to be gay? How is it that no one can remember choosing to be either gay or straight?
Science tells us sexuality is determined in the womb by the constituents of a hormone soup the fetus bathes in. When a person decides to be atheist, is there a similar change in appearance? Of course, not. So if being gay were a choice, it should not change appearance as bigots claim. This all contradicts itself. Being gay cannot be a choice.
I was very distressed about being gay when I was a teen. I decided to commit suicide by lowering myself off a raft into an icy mountain lake where I had often gone fishing, weighed down with rocks, if I could not make myself straight by my 21st birthday. Happily friends talked me out of it. Hundreds of gay teens every year commit suicide because they cannot change. How could this be if becoming straight were as simple as making a choice?
Reparative therapy has been declared fraudulent and illegal in Ontario, California, Illinois and Oregon. Reparative therapy is not an option. They have not had a single success.
If it is a choice, then a noble Christian male could choose to be gay for 10 minutes then choose back, to show us all how it is done. They don’t have to have gay sex, just prefer males to females for that 10 minutes. They can’t do it. They can’t force themselves to find females disgusting and males enticing. Surprise. Gays can’t force themselves to find males disgusting and females enticing either even for 10 minutes.
You may notice that those who insist most loudly that being gay is a choice are not gay and have no gay friends. How would they know? Have they no shame they can’t even find one poster boy who claims he was gay and chose to be straight? To be straight, you must not only stop having sex with males, you must give up your desire for males.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being Gay: Not Nearly as Bad As Advertised
Religious people work hard to convince young gays that they are cursed, that a fate worse that death has befallen them and their life henceforth will be unremitting misery. Granted their lives will be different from their straight brothers, but gays have many advantages in terms of adventure and freedom.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being Invisible to Young People
One of the hardest things to adjust to as you age is becoming invisible to young people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A elderly man is in the same boat as a twenty year old whom only 70 year olds find sufficiently attractive to consider sex. The difference is the elderly man has had more time to get used to his predicament.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being Old Is Worse Than Advertised
You would think from the movies that the only disadvantages of aging are wrinkles and baldness. Not so.:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- The most frustrating thing is knowing you will never have sex again. Nobody you find sufficiently attractive would ever find you sufficiently interesting because you are so decrepit. You are no more turned on by people over 60 than you were at 15. Besides, the equipment does not work properly, no matter how well it worked in earlier years.
- Every year brings new aches and pains and further degradation of your joints and organs. Your brain can’t think as clearly either.
- You have just a tiny fraction of the energy you formerly had. Even simple chores or errands can wipe you out for a day or two.
- If you see handsome young movie star, you know aging is out to get them too, as it got all the other handsome young movie stars of earlier eras.
It is so frustrating being cut off. Nothing you can do makes even the tiniest dent. You feel so powerless. You have to eventually convince yourself that these people are not the ones you remember. You would not like them any more. Even if you could convince them to meet with you, it would not be long before you were estranged again.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being A Teenager
Though it seems like the longest period of your life next to childhood, you are a teenage for only seven years.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are looking for a long term partner, seek someone encouraging and supportive. The last thing you need is a partner who keeps belittling you. Of course, if you want to be perceived as a good catch, get control of any urges to ever put your partner down. People on TV and movies do it all the time, so you might think it is no big deal. Just don’t .~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You sometimes see a couple where one berates the other rudely. Why do they tolerate it? The abuse may have come on in such a gradual crescendo that the abused partner had time to continually recalibrate what he considered normal.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians love controlling other people’s lives. They started with arranged marriages. They blocked people of different races pairing up. They blocked people of the same gender from getting together. They try to block people from different countries from getting together, and of course they block beings of different species from getting together. Why did they do it? Spite and a desire to make others conform.
I am talking about loving, consensual relationships. Dolphins have bigger brains than humans, and are quite capable of giving consent and rejecting advances (they have jaws not that different from sharks and bodies of solid muscle). It is pretty much impossible for any male animal to have sex without consent.
Of course it makes sense to bar any sort of cruelty or coercion, but that is not what I am talking about. There are people who nobody finds attractive. Animals do not care if they have a handsome face or a fat wallet or a disability. Some people may find animals preferable to humans because non-humans are more honest or sexier or more loyal. What such pairs do in private does not concern me. Just because I find sex with a female goat extremely yucky is no excuse for me to meddle. I am not being asked to participate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If someone cheats on their partner with you, they will later cheat on you with someone else. If you want a monogamous partner, don’t start your relationship by wooing away somebody else’s.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Beware the Fidelity Freaks
People who demand absolute fidelity are full of themselves. They will make your life a misery with their suspicion, bullying and demanding even if you are 100% faithful.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Beware the Friend Dumper
If you notice your lover suddenly dumping friends without any apparent reason or explanation, it is only a matter of time till he does the same to you. If you let it get to you, it will be the most painful experience of your life.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians justify their bigotry by saying the bible commands them to put gays to death. They conveniently forget that screws-loose document also demands they put to death people who work on Sunday, children who sass their parents, people who use the name of the deity in a less than reverential tone and people who eat taboo foods such as lobster.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you have any fears based on what people have told you about the bible and after death torment of gays, try reading the bible cover to cover. You will discover it is 90% blithering nonsense, including the parts about gays. Further, probe any evidence God had anything to with authoring it. There is none; it was written mainly by people, who today would be on anti-psychotic drugs. The endless repeated assertions do not make it any more true. Fear of lurid biblical threats is as silly as fear of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It is just a book, proven fiction over and over and over.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Big Choice
You have to decide which is more important, that your partner be exceptionally good looking or that they stick with you for a long time. If you pick a partner much better looking than you, there will always be others whispering in their ear that they could do better than you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think big weddings are a really dumb idea, mainly because of the cost:
- renting the hall
- the cake
- renting the tux
- the gown
- the bridesmaids costumes
- food for the guests.
- drinks for the guest.
- the band
- the ring
- the licence
- the clergyman
The couple can be stuck paying this off for a decade. It deflects money that could have been used for a university education. The expense comes at a bad time when money is needed to set up a household or prepare for a baby.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the biggest misconceptions bigots promote is that gay people want to become the opposite sex. Gays and lesbians merely prefer partners of the same sex. The movie Brokeback Mountain pretty well flattened that notion. Transgendered people want to be the opposite sex. Transvestites want to wear the clothes of the opposite sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bigoted School Board
On 2010-03-12 a high school in Fulton Mississippi canceled the graduation prom to block Constance McMillan from attending with her girl friend on the grounds their presence might make some students feel awkward. Even the most bigoted of students would prefer to attend a prom with a gay couple than have no prom at all. The tiny minority who would have thought otherwise could have stayed home. Oddly the students blame Constance for the canceled prom, not the homophobic school board.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bigoted View of Gays
The bigot sees the gay person as someone who, out of spite, pretends to be attracted to someone of the same sex. The bigot can’t see why the gay person complains when the bigot demands that the gay person shape up and admit he has exactly the same desires as the bigot and marry someone of the opposite sex. After all, he would’t mind being limited to opposite sex partners.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bigots Die Off
Just as racial prejudice weakened as the older generations of bigots died, so the prejudice against gays is dying too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Birds and the Lions
When you were studying lions in grade 2, I strongly suspect they neglected to tell you that lions do not form monogamous pair bonds like humans, but shack up with several males and several females and go at it all day in all combinations.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Black Lives Matter
In 2016 Black Lives Matter hijacked the Toronto Gay Pride Parade and would not let it continue until the parade committee acceded to a number of demands, including no uniformed police in the 2017 parade. Out of cowardice and misplaced political correctness, the committee caved to their demands. They should have called the police, and had hijackers removed, and if they did it again, sue them or charge them with extortion.
Black Lives Matter justified this action because some of their members felt uncomfortable around police. Police had been participating for decades. Back in the 70s the police were sworn enemies of the gay community. It had taken decades to build up a good relationship.
There was no reason to even let Black Lives Matter participate. They had never done anything to support LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual or Queer) causes. It was not their parade. They had no right demand changes. They behaved criminally. Black Lives Matter was created to protest American police, not Toronto Police.
If you hosted a dinner party and one of the guests insisted 6 of your guests be disinvited because they felt uncomfortable, there would be no question. You would tell these arrogant boors to host their own party.
In caving to these thugs, the parade committee soured its relationship with the Toronto police and soured the relationship with the entire Toronto LGBTQ community. Many people were disgusted the spineless caving to Black Lives Matter and boycotted the parade. Black Lives Matter should never have even been invited to participate in the parade, much less take control of it. They are enemies of LGBTQ. It is almost as bad as letting the Westboro Baptist church bully you.
Circa 1973, I organised the first gay pride parade in Vancouver. If someone had pulled a stunt like this back then, I would have had a hard time restraining myself from beating them to a pulp.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Blaming the Man
When a woman complains a man knowingly passed HIV to her and wants to sue him and put him in jail, she is almost certainly wrong. Why? Anyone who knows they are HIV + will most likely be on HIV retroviral therapy and likely will have close to undetectable viral load levels. There is nothing to transmit. Given that the woman had unprotected sex with a stranger, she probably has done this a number of times before. If some of those partners were people who did not know their status, they would most likely be HIV + (because of their promiscuous life style) and they would not be receiving therapy. They are the likely source of the infection since they would have much higher viral loads. The irony is, partners who know they are infected are much less dangerous than ones who do not.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Blind to Bad Partner Choices
If a gay man watches a film where a straight man falls for a pretty, demanding female with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, it is obvious to him what a nightmare the character is preparing for himself. Yet that same gay man can be equally blind when beguiled by a handsome young demanding male with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It used to be you had to be a king or a dictator to have a family of 100 children. Now all you need in the ego of one to donate your eggs or sperm. I find it revolting some grossly obese housewife in Arizona is paid to spread her eggs over the planet like some bloated cockroach. There is no shortage of babies and kids who need homes. We should not dream of creating new lives at $200,000 each until all those existing orphans have loving homes. The vanity and selfishness is disgusting.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is rude to blow kisses because it leaves the recipient with no way to resist.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Let us say you find yourself head-over heels with a body builder. Consider that this guy spends perhaps two hours a day, concerned with his own appearance. He is vain and self centred. He likely has no time for any more socially useful activity. He probably will not be that considerate a partner. Likely he just wants someone to admire him.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bogus Sex Education
Religious fundamentalists like Pam Stenzel lecture that abstinence is the only way to protect yourself from HIV. This simply is not true. Teaching abstinence only makes matters worse. It has worse outcomes even than teaching nothing at all. What does work is teaching the use of condoms. Stenzel is not only wrong, she is killing thousands of people with her lies. We have millions of years of evolution driving us to have sex. No way a lecture from Pam Stenzel is going to derail that.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Likely nobody told you that the most potent human bonding rituals require behaviour so silly it would be painfully embarrassing if generally revealed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
From a gay perspective, you can dismiss 90% of cinema as a tedious retelling of the old story of one straight male human persuading a straight female human to copulate. The banality might come clearer if you imagined a cinema based on the copulation of hippos.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Logically, when you lover dumps you, you should be able to return emotionally to the point you were 1 minute before you first met.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When parents use technology or infanticide to have male children only, it is selfish act. It distorts the entire population. Men can’t have families or partners. It encourages violence, prostitution and sexual slavery. It is like turning a whole society into a gold rush town.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bright Side of Being Dumped
If somebody dumps you, by definition, they were not a good candidate for a long term relationship. Be glad you escaped their clutches.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Can you think of a violently anti-gay Republican politician who did not turn out to be gay himself? This is part of the standard camouflage for the closeted gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I really do not like it when young gays wear their grandmother’s earrings, dye their hair, shave their eyebrows, flop their arms about limply, flirt like infantile girls, affect a nasal voice, affect a bored expression… This is much like a black person affecting Steppin Fetchit mannerisms. They don’t realise these stereotype were used to spit on gays in previous decades. They are highly insulting. On the other paw, young gays should have the right to camp any way they please without discrimination.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even though she is an out and proud lesbian, I disapprove of Candy Palmater. Why?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- She encourages youth to get tattooed. This is a passing fad. Youth will be stuck with those embarrassingly old-fashioned decorations to their death beds. This will label them as low class, impetuous and irresponsible. It will keep them out of many occupations. It will exclude them from many social circles. It will exclude them from many marriage partners. It is similar in effect to a criminal record or an alcoholic past.
- She encourages youth to balloon to three times normal size, like herself, then take exaggerated pride in the ruined and unhealthy body.
The Catch of an Alpha Male Partner
One of the characteristics of the alpha male is a lifetime of multiple sex partners. If you are attracted to this type, straight or gay, prepare yourself to share.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Caution On Being Dumped
If you are dumped, the first thing to do is find out just what behaviour for you is acceptable according to the law and according to the social norms of your tribe. Then resolve to behave yourself. You can feel self-righteous from being dumped and as a result, overly excuse yourself. You don’t want to embarrass yourself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Cementing the Decision
It is completely normal when a couple breaks up to exaggerate or even fabricate faults in their partner. It is a way of cementing the decision to split. Don’t take it personally.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A Certain Age
You get to a certain age, and you notice famous people, friends and parents died not much older than you. How are you going to care for yourself when you are too sickly? How are you going to get rid of all your stuff? What will you do with your time if you are incapable of doing what you do now? Will you be alone? You don’t have the energy to think about all this stuff.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Changing Sexual Preference
I have often said you cannot change sexual preference, but that is not quite true. In the excitement of team sport, players will sometimes have a short burst of positive emotion for a player who has just scored a goal. It is very like the intense attraction gays feel for one another. It can even express as hugs, kisses and butt grabbing.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Changing Sexual Preference
Think about the thing or person that turns your crank more than anything else. It might be illegal, something you have never done, something non-sexual (if you are older or still a child). Now imagine that just by deciding, that thing would henceforth leave you utterly cold, and something completely different, that you do not like would become your #1 turn on. You probably cannot even change your favourite hair colour, or whether you like ’em on the fat, athletic or thin side or your favourite colour of jelly bean. So how is anybody supposed to change something drastic like their preferred gender of sexual partner? Straight people cannot make themselves gay and gays cannot make themselves straight.
To count as changing your preference, it is not enough that you white knuckle your behaviour to avoid your favourite thing, you have to lose all interest in it.
If you are a Christian, imagine your favourite thing, and imagine making yourself have no attraction to it. You can’t do it, even in imagination. So why do you think gays can or should do it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you see a woman with half her head shaved bald and the other half with sheep-dog length hair dyed chartreuse, what message is she trying to say? Perhaps I don’t care who you are, I have no interest in sex with you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Check the Parents
Before you pick a partner solely on looks, check out their parents. Those bodies are roughly what you are signing up for long term.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Before you get involved with someone, check how he treats his exes and friends. That is how he will treat you too in future.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Diane Watts, representative of Real Women, argued against protection of transsexuals from beatings on the grounds if these beatings were not permitted, sexual predators might dress as women and attack children in washrooms.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Children, can you spell non sequitur?
Male cervids grow antlers bigger and bigger each season. These are a sign of sexual attractiveness. They mean an animal was wily and strong enough to survive many seasons, and thus has prime sperm to offer. Male humans do something similar, namely lose their head hair to indicate seniority. But with humans, this indicator has the opposite meaning. The male animal has fewer years left in him to help care for young.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Child Abuser is Meaningless
The term child abuser is so broad it is used primarily as a tool for deception, to make it sound as if someone has done something far worse than they actually did. It can mean someone who spanks their 4 year old child for playing in the street, a 19 year old boy who has sex with his 17 year old girl friend, to a female teacher who succumbs to the seduction of a 18 year old male student, a priest who rapes 10 year olds or a psychopath who abducts, rapes and murders toddlers.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I have two ideas to more efficiently fight child porn.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Go after foreign child porn sites with a DOS (Denial of Service attack) attack, the kind hackers use to shut down websites illegally.
- Focus on people who purchase porn. Track them through credit cards and PayPal — domestic companies. Those who just look, actually harm the pornographers by using their services without paying anything for them. They should be a lower priority.
Children with Cellphones
When a child has a cellphone, the parents have no idea whom the child is talking to, unlike with a land line.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In the age of chivalry, men controlled women by deferring to them in matters of no consequence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Choosing to be Old
It is such a bummer not to be young and sexy any more. The young imagine the elderly choose to get old, but the reality they wish so ardently to be young. The young do not value their youth since they imagine it will last indefinitely. But we get old so suddenly and after what feels like just a few weekends of decent youth.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Choosing a Partner
Never sleep with anyone crazier than you are. Of course, in every coupling, one of the pair breaks this rule.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Choosing the Unchoosable
Why would a male choose to become a female? It is an invitation for getting beat up. It is much harder to find a partner. You have to waste hours trying to dress and pass as a woman. The operation is painful. Similarly why would anyone choose to be gay? You can lose your job. You can get beat up. You are officially a second class citizen in the eyes of the law. Christians phone you up at all hours and threaten to kill you.
The answer is simple. Nobody chooses this. This is simply the way you are. You have no more choice in the matter than you have over your height. You have to live with it no matter how much you might wish it were otherwise. You simply have to put up with all the crap people throw at you for being slightly out of the ordinary.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Persecuting gays is bigotry. It is an ancient superstition like persecuting lefties, gays, blacks and (later) Jews. Christians justify it by cherry picking from the bible’s list of sins. They ignore 99% of them. What other people do in their bedrooms is none of their business. It has no effect whatsoever on their lives. They are just busybodies. They imagine they have the right to micromanage other people’s lives, even to the point of selecting sex partners that people don’t like. They ignore the constitution that says they may not impose their religious superstitions on others.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians have some cheek to spit on gay people. It is the Christian breeders who are destroying the planet with overpopulation. The gays are doing their best to compensate for Christian locust-selfishness.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Christian Enemy
If you are gay, Christians are your worst enemies. They are so ubiquitous, it is easy to forget and start thinking of them as mosquitos in the back woods, something you just have to tolerate. I think every gay has a duty to free at least one Christian from his delusions.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the irrational things about Christians is they hate homosexual virgins almost as much as they hate homosexual sluts.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians demanding that gays pass as straight is an impertinent as gays demanding that Christians pass as Mormons.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The right wing Christian bigots claim all hair dressers and music teachers are gay. Further, they claim all gay people molest children. Then how come you so rarely hear of a hair dresser or music teacher molesting a child?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christian Malice Gone Insane
I am highly opposed to posting the names and addresses of sexual offenders to encourage the public to shun them and take vigilante action to harass or kill them. The term sexual offender covers a wide range of offenses including:
- Masturbating in a pornographic movie theatre
- A 17 year old boy having sex with his 16 year old girl friend.
- having consenting sex in private with an adult of the same sex in one of the backward states.
- giving someone money prior to having sex.
- Fondling a child
- Child prostitution
- Raping a child
- Kidnapping a child
There is no public safety issue for most of these crimes. For example, someone living next door who consorts with prostitutes is no threat. The notion of tarring everyone with the same sex-offender brush is motivated by Christian spite, trying punish relatively minor sexual crimes as if they involved children. It is Christian prudery and malice gone insane.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians Imposing Their Religion
Americans don’t believe in freedom of religion. They are happy to impose their religious beliefs about marriage on gay people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians React To Dahmer
A Christian is someone who is more horrified that Jeff Dahmer had sex with males than that he killed and ate them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Is circumcision a risk factor for child molesting? It is for erectile dysfunction caused by lack of sufficient sensation.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Circumcision is a sort of like branding a steer. It marks the child as belonging to a religion. It is done without anaesthetic, without consent. Done to an adult without consent it would be considered aggravated assault. My brother had it done as a teen and told me it was very painful. There is usually no medical need for it. It can be postponed until the child is old enough to give consent. The original motive was to dull sexual pleasure, the same as female circumcision. The child’s benefit has nothing to do with it. It is a very high handed thing to do to another. Religion is no excuse. Consent should be required. The hypocrisy of advocating male circumcision while protesting female circumcision is based on excusing the sins of one’s own religion.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You can always postpone circumcision until the boy can decide for himself if he wants it. You cannot undo it. Very rarely is there any rush.
The primary reason for it is to brand your child for life as part of your religion. That is pretty high-handed.
Jews cannot claim it is for sanitation when a herpes-infected Mohel puts the boy’s penis wound in his mouth in the most unsanitary way imaginable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) Radio featured a psychologist who breezily explained how he cured people of sexual deviance. He defined defiance as anything but adult heterosexual attraction. He would diagnose his subjects by getting them drunk then measuring erections while showing the subject a wide range of pornography. Anyone who responded to anything but adult heterosexual pornography was deemed a pervert in need of treatment with chemical castration. If the subject protested that what he did in his sex life or fantasies harmed no one, the psychologist considered this evidence of pathology. He was brimming with Christian zeal though the did not mention religion explicitly. To him, what was right and what was wrong were absolutes that were not open to any sort of debate.
He was not a mean person. He sincerely felt he was a providing a humanitarian service. It never dawned on him that he was imitating art in A Clockwork Orange.
Because he was such a sweet little man, I think many listeners would have been seduced by his message. However, recall that a man, just like him, drove the greatest computer scientist of all time, Alan Turing, to suicide, by forcing him to take estrogen and grow breasts, supposedly to cure his illness, homosexuality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I had a closeted gay friend for 25 years. I never knew his phone number or where he lived. One day I went out with him and I lost track of him in a crowd. I have never heard from him since. I have no idea if he is dead or he is angry at me for some reason.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Closeting is Selfish
Every gay, lesbian or transsexual person who elects to stay in the closet is aiding the bigots by deceiving the public into thinking their minority is more marginal than it actually is.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If your boyfriend refuses to discard his worn-out clothes, it is a sign he likely won’t discard you when you have lost your lustre.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Clueless Pitiful Straights
Heterosexual males seem oblivious to how females cruelly toy with them and exploit them. Males are frantically and irrationally attracted to particular females, whilst the female attraction to males is less intense and more calculating. A teenage boy puts up with the abuse because he is so hopelessly enamoured. A male spider or mantis allows the female to dine on his body in return for sex. Sir Paul McCartney gave Heather Mills $50 million in return for a few years of sexual access. Much of dating is really prostitution. The male pays for the dinner and entertainment. If she is sufficiently impressed, she puts out. The male is as mindlessly driven as a moth in his pursuit of sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Given that so many of our calories are used just to maintain body temperature, I am surprised there has not been a pop diet where you simply turn down the thermostat (and don’t wear a sweater). This has the added benefits of lowering your electric bill and lowering your greenhouse gas footprint.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The un-come-out gay lets his imagination run away with him over all the terrible things that will happen if he comes out. Similarly he greatly underestimates the benefits to himself and to the planet from coming out. When he finally gets on with it, he will feel so silly about dithering so long and enjoy such a rush.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Coming Out To Parents
When I came out to my mom in 1969, she clutched the curtains, and fell to the floor pulling them off the rails and cried out Where have I failed.
I was really tough. I was not giving an inch. Stop your histrionics. Everything you told me over my life about gay people was a lie. You don’t know the first thing what you are talking about.
I pointed out various people I had brought home to Sunday dinners whom my parents liked. I said They were gay and you did not even notice. She had a problem. She had great faith in my integrity. She also knew that gays were the worst kind of people there were. Something had to give.
A few weeks later, I was doing a public gay lib lecture. I noticed a woman in a peculiar red wig in the audience. It was my mom. To my astonishment and embarrassment, she acted as a shill. Later, when I did phone in radio shows she would call in, and give tear-jerking support for my position, and try to convince parents to support their gay children.
Dad was much easier. He said, I don’t mind you being gay, but I wish you were not so public about it. I get teased at work. My dad and I both worked for BC Hydro, the electric utility, and we were both well known. Coming out at work was easy. The boss called me in and said, We have a bit of a problem with your gay lib activities. Everyone on the floor was listening to your radio program and nobody got any work done.
I think both gays and atheists are far too willing to leave their parents alone to be bigots unaware of how clueless and evil they are.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On purely statistical grounds, you can be pretty sure whatever it is you think about but never tell anyone else, are the exact same things that other people think about.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A Common Tale
He left me for another~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
’tis a common tale but true
is a couple of lines from the folk song Lemon Tree. Memorise them. The biggest roadblocks to recovering from getting dumped is thinking what happened to you is unique in world history and there exists no other possible lover. No matter how it feels, this horrible experience is more common that breaking a bone. It is just the painful way life works to help you find a more compatible partner.
Life is so much easier and comfortable with a companion. They don’t have to be a spouse or lover. They can be a friend or a roommate. When bad things happen to you, they don’t overreact like you do. They remind you of ways you can handle the problem. They are your life cheerleader, happy when you succeed. They get you out of yourself. You want their life to work too. If you get sick, they will bring you some soup.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the big advantages of having a partner is when something catastrophic happens, you can tell them about it. They will not be nearly as bowled over about it as you. That helps you gain some perspective.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Over the coming decades companion robots will evolve. They will keep you company, care for you and have sex. I suspect the Stephen Harpers of the world will want to severely restrict just what these robots look like, no animals, no children, no teens, no very old people, no intersexed people, no overly small or large breasts, no overly small or large penises, hair in Harper approved places.… The rich will have pirate versions that can take any shape imaginable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Compassion for the Outer Philias
Think about the love of your life. Imagine you lived in a society that considered that love so repulsive they would lock you up if they found out about it. Decent society would shun you for even feeling that way, even if you did not act on it.
That is what life is like for people with outer philias like zoophilia, paedophilia, homosexuality (in many countries), necrophilia, sadism, incest, masochism and to some extent those attracted to the morbidly obese. Those with ordinary sexual attractions look down their noses at the rest, as if their orientation were the result of strenuous effort. The outer philias, for the most part, are a fluke arrangement of genes in the bingo cage of allele selection. It is not like choosing to rob a bank. They did not choose to be that way. That is who they are at their core.
Those with ordinary philias pretend others personally chose those traits. That is as medieval as blaming someone for choosing their unusually short height. Anything to feel superior!
Just why do we interfere with these people’s sex lives? In some cases, there is genuine harm to others. Even then, perhaps there is some compromise that harms no one. For example, pedophiles should be given access to art work created without exploiting children. Sometimes is it just superstition or the yuck factor. Over the coming centuries, I think we should mind our own business as much as possible. It is not as though we too are being asked to indulge. Some day we may look on prohibitions against bestiality the same way we look on miscegenation laws — as a symptom of bigotry and human-supremacy the analog of white-supremacy. It does not matter if we find some act disgusting. These people’s lives are miserable enough without us dumping more misery and opprobrium on them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Partners never tire of hearing how much you enjoy their company and how appreciative you are of the things they do for you. However, you will scare them away quickly by telling them how you would fall apart if they died or ran off with someone else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Once we start creating computerised sex partners it will be only a matter of time until they are more attractive than real sex partners or even real companions. Real companions may become quaint. The rich may indulge themselves with diverse harems.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Concerns Of the Last Trimester
In the last trimester of your life, you wish over and over that you had not made such as ass of yourself, or compromised your integrity in the first two trimesters. People sacrifice so much time and effort trying to amass wealth. It hardly matters at all.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight people like to say that gay people are confused about their sexuality. It is the patronising straight people who are confused. It takes iron determination to spit in the face of society and come out as gay, something not done lightly.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Conscious Decision Not To Reproduce
The main thing that makes me different from other people is that I made a conscious decision never to have children.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Consequences of Making Being Gay Illegal
Religious fanatics sometimes successfully lobby to make being gay illegal, such as happened in Russia and India. They do this even though it makes the AIDS epidemic much worse. Monogamous gay couples cannot get HIV. With being gay made illegal, couples can no longer live together. Single gays have to have anonymous encounters to avoid being betrayed. Gays can’t come forward and be tested or treated. This drastically increases infection transmission.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Consider Gluten Free Experiment
I spent 26 years suffering with nausea and diarrhoea assuming it was a necessary side effect of HIV and HIV meds. Then I discovered cutting out wheat and sugar made it 50% go away. Life is now a completely different, comparatively delightful, experience.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Where do people get the idea they can treat their partners with less politeness and respect than they treated their roommates and expect them to hang around?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Contagious Gay Accent
How can you tell if a male spends a lot of time socialising with other gays? He will affect a nasal valley-girl accent where he randomly elongates syllables.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I wonder if every male, before contemplating unprotected sex thought to himself:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Am I willing to pay child support for 20 years?
- Am I willing to put up with the side effects of HIV chemotherapy drugs the rest of my life — nausea and diarrhoea so bad it pins me to my home?
- How many babies would be born?
Cost of Obesity
Nowadays, so many North Americans allow themselves to become grossly obese. They don’t realise how much they are giving up by doing that. Not only do they lose opportunities for sex, they sacrifice energy to do interesting things. They are sacrificing their health and comfort in the second half of life. They are doing damage no amount of later effort can undo.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the easiest ways to make your relationship last is to treat your partner with as least as much courtesy as you would a stranger.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Courting a Tiger
Lusting after someone much better looking that yourself, much younger than yourself, much richer than yourself, or much more famous than yourself… is a bit like yearning for sex with a tiger. The tiger will not likely give consent and you will probably get hurt.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Courting vs Keeping
Consider how much effort people put into courting their mates vs. keeping them. Consider how painful it is to have a mate lose interest after the relationship is ongoing compared with dumping you before it gets off the ground. Logically, you should put much more effort into keeping than courting your mate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Females have males cowed into feeling guilty for even dating more than one female at a time. So long as there is no broken promise of fidelity, I see no moral problem.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexual attraction is so crass compared with homosexual. Women are looking for a rich husband to support their children. Men are looking for a fecund body to bear their children. They rarely have anything in common except reproduction. This attraction does not rise above the animal.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Creating a Link Between Taboo and Excitement
Our society works very hard to supervise children so continuously that they never get a chance for sex play. Further, we seriously punish children when we catch them in sex play. I hypothesise that this creates a Pavlovian link between sex and the excitement of breaking a taboo. So, in adulthood, some taboo must be broken for the sex to be interesting. It could be adultery, homosexuality, incest, mixed age, S&M (Sadism & Masochism), sex in public… and over.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When I look back over the decades, I cringe most at the times when I was in the presence of a guy I was terribly keen on who had no interest in me or who no longer had any interest in me.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There is a tendency to pick a partner who makes sex most exciting. As the years pass, sex gets less and less important. What counts most later?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- You like talking about the same things.
- Your partner is supportive.
- You partner likes doing the same things with you.
Cure For the I-Was-Dumped Blues
If you are crying the blues because your partner abruptly dumped you, you need to talk to someone whose ex hung around to torment them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I would think the quickest cure for ungrateful kids would be to expose them to some truly awful parents.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In one limited sense, the Christians are right. Homosexuality can be cured, as can heterosexuality. Eventually, you reach an age where you stop pursuing sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
DADT (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell) Cost As If Killed
The financial reason for repealing DADT is that 14,000 soldiers were booted out. They might as well have been fatalities. All that money invested in training them went down the drain. Yanking them out of their positions is just as disruptive as if they had been killed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
DADT Was Simple Bigotry
The feigned fear and nervousness about procrastinating repealing DADT was so disingenuous. It was just disguised bigotry. It was not as though the USA were the first to integrate. 30 other countries had already gone to open service and nothing terrible happened.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dairy Bad Advice
The dairy industry claims women must drink lots of milk to avoid osteoporosis. What they don’t tell you is that osteoporosis is higher in the countries where people drink the most milk. It is unwise to take health information from parties who have a vested interest in selling you some product.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Damned if he Does
I have to laugh at Putin’s incompetence at handling gay rights protestors. Every time he arrests one, they get global news coverage.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dancing Too Hard
If you try too hard to impress a potential mate, they will expect you ever after to keep up that level of impressive dance. When you stop, they will leave. It might be better not to try so hard so you attract someone who likes you the way you are.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexuality is primarily about procreation. Homosexuality is primarily about pleasure and love. I am baffled how heterosexual men can possibly have sex knowing that if the birth control fails, they are on the hook for 18 years to raise the child and on the hook for $250,000 to raise it. Further, they are on the hook no matter how badly the child behaves, how rude, how entitled. There must be some hormones that make people forget.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Darwinian Breast Implants
Women trick men into thinking they are prolific lactators by having breast implants installed. The effect is just the opposite and also impairs general health. I wonder how long it will take for Darwinian selection to catch on to the deception.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Trying to convince men infected with HIV to avoid having unprotected sex and infecting women goes against their deep-seated biological urge to fill the universe with copies of their own DNA, damn the consequences to their offspring or anyone else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dealing With Being Dumped
Being dumped, especially without warning, especially when your partner refuses to tell you why they are leaving, can drive you nuts. The most common reasons people dump their partners are:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- They found someone the found more attractive than you. Statistically the odds, of 7.601 billion people, you are the most attractive is pretty darn remote. When they hitched up with you, you were the most attractive person they knew. They have since got to know many more people.
- They got bored. They expected the relationship to be as exciting as it was at the beginning. Such people have to change partners from time to time to get an emotional rush.
- The key attractive features about you changed. They might have been attracted by your big beefy build, your fame, your athleticism, your spectacular mop of hair, your wide social circle, your favourite sexual activities, your wealth…
- Think of all the nagging they did. Those petty things grew into an unendurable mountain.
If a stranger calls you up and says he is planning to kill you, this is much less to worry about than you might imagine. The FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation) points out that threateners rarely kill and killers rarely warn. In my days in Gay Lib, I received an average of 300 abusive phone calls and 3 death threats a day. I had to buy a heavy duty answering machine when my first one caught fire from the constant load. The only seriously scary event in the span of several years was a gang that came and banged on my house with baseball bats. Lowell Green, a right wing talk show host in Ottawa, gave out my home phone, home address and website and asked his listeners to harass me. They phoned at all hours of the day and night for a few days threatening to kill me, but nothing further happened. If I had not been hardened before by the such threats, the calls would have been scary. In contrast, I have been shot at 5 times on visits to the USA in incidents that had nothing to do with be being gay, just the American penchant for shooting people for fun and committing robberies.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Deciding to Procreate
Procreation is a fundamental drive in all animals, but humans can think about many of the disadvantages such as:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- When you add it all up, it will cost a bundle to house, feed, clothe, educate and entertain your child to adulthood. No matter what, for the next 20 years you have to do whatever it takes to earn the money to raise your child, including working at jobs you utterly detest.
- There is no guarantee the child will be healthy. They may have congenital diseases, mental retardation, mental diseases or other serious health problems. If they are not normal, you will be stuck playing nursemaid for their entire life.
- Your child may go off the rails, become homeless, become a drug addict, become an alcoholic or become a criminal. You are still stuck with them.
- You will not have any privacy. You will not have sex nearly as often.
- Because children take up so much time and money, you have to give up pretty much anything else, e.g. hobbies, travel, friends, study and careers.
- The earth is no longer a friendly place for children. It is badly overpopulated. President Trump has vowed to destroy all life on earth with either climate change or a nuclear war.
Declaring Sex Pleasure
A right wing group talked Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum into signing a marriage vow that swears belief that sex between married heterosexuals is officially the most pleasurable sex, but this is not a matter of opinion or sworn belief. The assertion is obviously false. Unmarried couples have sex less frequently after they are married. Gay people clearly prefer sex with same sex partners, so for them homosex is vastly more pleasant. It is a cliché that men and women are baffled by how to please each other sexually. The approach that comes naturally is quite different for the two sexes. St. Paul, the patron saint of prudes and Republicans, asserted that homosexual sex was vastly more pleasurable than heterosexual sex. He was deeply worried that, like a prairie fire, homosexuality would sweep the entire male population if they found out about it. I presume he spoke from personal experience only, which calls into question his statistics.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dedicated to You
If you must have a partner who is 100% dedicated to you, pick one that no one else finds attractive.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The main way humans control their weight is through hunger. When your stomach gets full, the pressure on its walls turns off your hunger. However, modern diets fool the mechanism with concentrated foods, e.g. fats and sugars and refined starches without fibre. So now, even sufficient food does not fill the stomach and turn off hunger. The obvious solution is to eat traditional foods — fruits and vegetable rich in bulking fibre.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Definition of Celebrity
Beautiful people who don’t mind you staring at them are called celebrities.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Definition of Prudery
Prudery is disguised envy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Definition of Sexual Preference
Your sexual preference is the gender/species/age of the beings you have sexual dreams about. It is not about what you do, what should church says you should do, or what you think you should do.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Deliberately Passing Genetic Diseases
I am horrified that parents will continue to have child after child with serious disabilities. They are so selfish. The don’t consider all the suffering they are imposing on the children, including social isolation and probable lack of a long term relationship.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even the most grossly obese straight men imagine they are irresistible to gays, simply because they are male.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are an male or female who wants a charming, handsome, alpha-male boyfriend resign yourself now to dealing with him cheating on you. It is part of the package. Demanding a monogamous alpha male is like demanding a world class weight lifter lover who only weighs 40.82 kg (90 lbs).~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Demanding Gays Pretend to be Straight
One of the strangest things about bigots is that they have historically insisted that gay people lie and masquerade as straight. Could you imagine demanding that of any other minority group, e.g. that black people wear white makeup, or that Chinese people dye their hair blond to disguise their identity.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dense Straight Men
It is hard to put my finger on it, but straight men are so dense, so unwilling to think for themselves, that it would be like having sex with a capybara.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Denying Gay Rights is Unconstitutional
If Americans want to vote on whether they can deny gays people equal rights such as marriage, then legally they must first amend the constitution to repeal equal protection provisions of the fourteenth amendment.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
This may be cold comfort, but that boy who just dumped you, the one you imagine you need as much as air… With certainty, there will come a time when you think of him less than once a week.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Desire For A Well-Hung Lover
There is an evolutionary argument expounded in The Blind Watchmaker: Why the Evidence of Evolution Reveals a Universe Without Design explaining why well hung males strongly prefer other well-hung males. I originally thought it was just a matter of wanting a partner of equal status. There is more too it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Desire is Humiliating
The way sexual desire drives me is so humiliating. It is like having a compulsion to bang two rocks together over and over.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the advantages of old age is you can look with bemused detachment when you are besotted with the beauty of someone your type.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The most effective way I can think of to deter paedophiles would be a public education campaign to remind paedophiles those youngsters will grow up to become lawyers, Christian fundamentalists, policemen, pro hockey players and even blackmailers. They will blame everything that goes wrong in their lives on the paedophile and will vow eternal vengeance. They will tell the details of everything that happened to anyone who will listen. Not a word the paedophile says in his defence will be believed. If the paedophile takes the long term view, he would be crazy to offend.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Logically, you would think all you would have to do to deter child molesting is to remind paedophiles that children sometimes grow up to became fat, bald, Republican, Christian fundamentalist lawyers hell bent on revenge for every failure in their life they blame on the abuse.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Deterring Unsafe Sex
I think there might be a lot less unsafe sex if people who were HIV + or who did not know their status thought to themselves If I have unsafe sex now, it will feel great, however, every time I think of this event ever again for the rest of my life, what is going to dominate my thoughts? remembrance of pleasant sensations or the regret and guilt that I might have killed my partner?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You hear so much strange stuff about diet. Here are a few principles to help sort it out:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Are they really just trying to sell me something?
- Are they being unduly influenced by parties trying to sell me something?
- Does this information jibe with what I know about health and diets in other cultures?
- Can a problem with diet be explained by regulatory mechanisms that worked in our hunter gatherer days being fooled by new foods, particularly ones engineered to be addictive?
- Does this information jibe with my personal experience or the experience of my friends?
- Are these just wild promises, or are they backed with reasons and science to give a plausible case why it might work?
- Even if this information turned out to be wrong, how dangerous would it be for me to experiment with it anyway?
Difference Between Gay and Straight Men
One key difference between gay and straight men, is that gay males will rarely screw or be screwed by a male of much lower status (age, fitness, appearance) than they have. In contrast, straight males are more than happy to screw females with much lower status than they have, e.g. grossly fat, much older or drug addicted. They even brag about this behaviour as a badge of honour.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Difference Between Straight and Gay
Straight men complain that after a one-night stand, it is very difficult to get rid of a woman, no matter how bad the sex was. Gay men complain that after a one-night stand, they never see the guy again, no matter how good the sex was.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In Afghanistan, it is considered perfectly acceptable for men to force boys to dress as women, dance and have sex with them. However, it is unthinkable for two adult men to have a sexual relationship. If it ever happens, both parties must be murdered.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Difficulty Defining Child Pornography
The problem in defining child pornography is that it is really is in the eye of the beholder. Even an innocuous advertisement for children’s shampoo can become pornography in the eyes of someone with lustful murderous intent.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The problem with being gay, especially when you are young, is this. You see someone that makes your heart thump. You talk with them and they really seem to like you. Eventually you tell them you are gay, but nearly always they are straight. And what is worse, they will often dump you on the spot, or worse. If you are a straight guy, nearly every female is at least potentially a partner.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Disadvantage of a Super-cutie Lover
If you hook up with an extraordinarily handsome man, the catch is lots of other people will think so to and will stop at nothing to get him into bed and out of yours.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Disadvantages of Being Gay
The two main disadvantages of being gay are:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- There are millions of Christians who hate you with a passion, who want to kill you or at least make your life as miserable as legally possible, even though you have never met.
- Even many liberal people can’t help but treat you a like a wet dog. Just as they can’t ignore the fact a dog is wet, they are constantly aware that you are gay and hence perceive you as mildly dangerous no matter what the topic of discussion.
The Disadvantages of a Fabulous Lover
If you want a lover with much higher status that you, e.g. better looking, richer, more athletic, better hung… You going to have to put up with something, typically: promiscuity or lording it over you or expecting you to handle all the household chores.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Disadvantages of Wealth
Sometimes wealth gets in the way of finding a relationship. One handsome guy worked hard to become wealthy to attract friends. Then he would lavish acquaintances with gifts such as TVs and stereos, then he fretted the only reason they would hang around was for the gifts. We tried to tell him to stop with the gifts, but he persisted. Another handsome young guy was very wealthy from dealing in diamonds. He was always single because he insisted on a partner who was his age and equally wealthy. He wanted to know he was loved for himself, not his wealth. There were almost no partners to choose from.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Disclosure of HIV Status
The Supreme court of Canada ruled that failing to disclose your HIV status to a sexual partner was a criminal offence, even if you were not asked. Then it softened the ruling and said that if you used condoms (and presumably other forms of safe sex) and were on successful retroviral therapy, you would not be charged.
Why not ask someone who knows what they are talking about like Dr. Julio Montaner, a leading world HIV expert. Making law based on gut feelings and polls is childish. Why not ask some gay people about the reality of the situation instead of idling speculating like theologians?
The court ignored the following factors.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Almost no one discloses. The reason is when you do, people will shun you, threaten to kill you, attempt to beat you up and in general treat you like a leper. The general public seem to think even being in the same room is sufficient for transmission. I went to an HIV support group. I was the only one there who advocated disclosure. This threat from the reaction is immediate and guaranteed, unlike a criminal charge.
- If there is a law requiring disclosure, people will presume their partner has disclosed. Most of the time they don’t even know! People who know get treatment which brings the viral load down to unmeasurable levels. The law protects you from people who won’t hurt you and leaves you vulnerable to those who will.
- You must take responsibility for your own safety using protected sex. Anything that interferes with that responsibility will cause more infection.
- A law that encouraged people to get tested, treated and neutralized as a source of infection would be much more effective. The current law discourages people from getting tested. If you don’t know your status, you can’t be charged!
- It takes up to six months for an infection to show up on a test. A negative result is no guarantee of safety. You must treat nearly everyone as if they had HIV. Trusting this law creates a false sense of safety.
- Condoms should not be required for anything other than vaginal/anal sex. The legislation should make that clear.
- This law is discriminatory against people with HIV. It makes illegal acts that have a very low risk. The justices made them illegal not on epidemiologic grounds, but on their personal fear factor. Other much more communicable diseases are not treated this way. The law is motivated by Christian-based homophobia and irrational prejudice.
Discovering Your Prejudices
You can ferret out your prejudices by imagining having to lick the arm of people of a variety of genders, races, ages and nationalities. Likely, you will imagine some as dangerously dirty or malodorous.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians complain that gays impose their sexuality on them. Yet gays are very discreet. When police want to observe homosexual activity, they must look behind looked doors, use hidden cameras, entrapment or go seeking in the dead of night infrared cameras. In contrast you can’t get away from heterosexual activity. It is in every bus, movie theatre, shopping mall, movie, TV show… at every hour of the day.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the least attractive features of the heterosexual mating game is the way females sometimes pretend to be infantile/retarded so they will appear easy, docile and bullyable and hence more attractive. When a grown woman talks like a three year old, I can barely hold myself back from throwing up. It is criminal the way competent, intelligent women go to such lengths to disguise their competence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians are so dense. The pretend they can’t understand why we gays don’t like them when they phone us thousands of times with death threats, lobby against us receiving HIV medications necessary for life, lobby to take away our civil rights and constantly keep urging people to kill us to please their screws-loose god.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians deny gays equal civil rights, claiming there is absolutely no hate involved. Then they go on to explain that gays marrying would be like a woman marrying a dog and that gays and gay sex are disgusting and that children must be protected from even knowing that gays exist. These arguments are similar to the hypocrisy Christians used first to justify slavery and later to deny blacks equal rights with separate but equal. If that is not hate, what is?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians disingenuously claim they want to deny marriage equality to gays because they are concerned for the children those couples might raise. This is a bogus argument. First, science has shown that two-parent families are vastly superior to one-parent families for obvious reasons, however, it has also discovered the genders of the parents do not matter.
What is the term for a heterosexual person who really likes sex? a parent. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control), 37% of babies born in the U.S. are the result of unplanned pregnancies. The true number is probably even higher because 60% of married women do not use contraception. All those babies are born into families that did not particularly want them or could not afford them.
Gay couples don’t have this problem. They only parent if they strongly want to, if they can afford it and if they are thoroughly vetted as good parents. With heterosexuals, anyone can have a child, even drug addicts, paupers, homeless people, people who hate children, child molesters, criminals, 12 year old girls, women in abusive relationships, rape victims, mentally ill people, alcoholics, women without partners to help… The adoption process filters out most of such unsuitable gay parents.
If you deny a child gay parents, it is not that they will go to an even better heterosexual home. There are far more unwanted babies than adoptive parents, especially when you include babies with disabilities. They will likely go to a series of foster homes or orphanages. That is a far worse fate that being raised in a loving gay home.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are dissatisfied with your appearance, what you need is a bout of obesity or a serious illness. Then when you recover, you will look better.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
⅓ of first time marriages and ½ of subsequent marriages end in divorce. This is not necessarily a bad thing. People used to stick together for life, even when they hated each other, making their lives utterly miserable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
DNA Testing and Monogamy
DNAtesting is forcing humanity to acknowledge it is not nearly as monogamous as it pretends to be.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Do It Now
f you have any sexual fantasies involving a young man, you better get on with them while you are young too. Males are rarely interested in anyone much older than they are. When they appear to, it is usually actually attraction to money, status or fame.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Don’t ask, don’t tell was unique among laws. It required people who had no classified information to lie.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Don’t Call Me a Bigot
Canadian homophobes don’t mind being labeled homophobic, but it shakes them up when you call them bigots.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Don’t Hide Faults
When you are courting, don’t be on too much on best behaviour. You may trick a partner who won’t be able to endure your faults.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If two gays hold hands and walk down a street, it will raise eyebrows and usually some death threats. If two straights fuck in a bus shelter, people will pretend not to notice.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you have any doubt at all about a potential sex partner e.g.
- That they may ask for money.
- That they embarrass you by blabbing about the encounter.
- That they may extort money from you to keep quiet about the encounter.
In a similar vein never give anyone a compromising picture of yourself. People who love you to bits right now may want to do you serious harm in a few years. Even if the person you gave it to is discrete for the rest of their life, some third party might steal it and use it to hurt you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Down with Black Socks!
I would hope gay people will join me in my rebellion against uniformly black socks. Let’s see some colours and stripes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Downside of Polygamy
Anyone who contemplates polygamy has temporarily forgotten it comes with two sets of in-laws.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Downside of Sex Reassignment Surgery
If you are considering sex reassignment surgery, keep in mind you will likely be much uglier as the opposite sex than you are now. You will greatly reduce the number of people of either sex who find you sexually attractive. Don’t let fantasies of extreme popularity seduce you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Downside of Tats
People who get tattoos are betting tats will remain in style for the rest of their lives. What fad lasted more than a few years? Look at any older person with a tat. They are gross! They don’t a bit like they did when they were fresh. We need a technology lets a tat automatically fade after a couple of years unless refreshed with some simple treatment, or that disappears with a cheap treatment, or that lets you turn them on and off at will.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dr. Watson As Rôle Model
The way the polite, accepting and kind Dr. John H. Watson handles the rambunctious often inconsiderate Dr. Sherlock Holmes is as good as model as any for a successful same-sex relationship.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dreams or Drugs
I have an entertaining dream life. I wonder if people who don’t dream enough try to compensate by taking drugs. I understand once they do, the drugs suppresses dreaming, which would increase the craving.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Driving Your Parents Crazy
I’m waiting for the teen generation to sprout old man haircuts complete with white bleach and chemicals to make the hair thin and wispy. Nothing frightens parents more than old age.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Drug Resistant Gonorrhea
There is a new reason to use safe sex. Gonorrhea has evolved a strain that is resistant to all antibiotics. If you get it, there is no treatment. You will have to put up with the burning for the rest of your life.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Drug-Resistant TB (Terabytes)
Drug-Resistant TB is showing up all over the planet. It is only a matter of time until it becomes endemic in the USA and Canada. It will be like the early days of HIV when there was no treatment. It is spread by coughing. I does not require sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I am baffled. Everyone has had more than adequate warning about the consequences of taking tobacco, cocaine, heroin or methamphetamine. Nearly everyone has seen a long-term user of these various drugs and the effect on their body. What on earth possesses them to start using? It is probably for the best if people that stupid were dropped from the gene pool.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Its odd the way so many straight males think they are superior to everyone else when they are so dull. These reptilians spend so much time dominating that they have no time left to think about anything interesting. Whatever brainpower is left over, is consumed with finding a warm wet place for their penis.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dump Your Dumper
One of the big dangers when you are dumped is to idealise the guy who dumped you as the most wonderful being in the universe. Make a list of some of the more rotten things he did. You probably make excuses for him. But think about what you would think of a stranger who did some of these things or if a friend’s boyfriend did them. Most of all, you need a more realistic picture of what life would be like if by some chance he did come back.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
As Dumpee, You Have No Rights
The most important thing to keep in mind when you are being dumped is that you are not entitled to a warning, an explanation or even the right to have your Christmas cards accepted. Imagining that you have such rights will at least quadruple your pain. From your ex’s point of view, you are a stalker.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If your lover makes a habit of suddenly dumping his friends, without warning, without reason and thereafter refusing all contact, brace yourself. It is only a matter of time until he does the same to you too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you partner dumps you, they go through a period of deliberation deciding if they should leave. To solidify their decision to go, they vilify you. Keep in mind your partner is thus not predisposed to treat you fairly or compassionately. He may even think you deserve punishment. So don’t expect him to rationally discuss why he decided to leave. If you demand it, you will be sorely disappointed, and you will suffer needlessly. You will have to figure it out for yourself from all the small clues he gave you in the preceding year.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Dumping Without Warning
There is probably no crueler thing you can do to a person psychologically than pretend a relationship is fine, then leave suddenly and forever without explanation. It saves you a bit of awkwardness, but it can create a lifetime of relationship trauma for the person you do it to.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Duties of Males
In most species, males have at most two functions:
- Providing sperm.
- Protecting the territory and the females from other males of the same species.
Perhaps we humans are expecting a bit too much of our males.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Duty to Stop Bullies
Since bullying happens when adults are absent, the #1 thing you can do to stop bullying is to teach kids they have a moral duty to join forces to defend a victim. Even a reprimand from a third party is usually enough to stop a bullying event.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In 1965, when I still had 4 more years of life in the closet to go, I went to a coffee house in Vancouver, called The Bunkhouse that featured folk singers. One performer was an outrageously camp blond young man who told a story about a cowboy with his shirt open to the navel. I felt ill. Hormones swirled at the thought of the young man and the cowboy, but I was simultaneously completely grossed out by his nelly behaviour.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If your lover suddenly drops friends without explanation, it is only a matter of time until he does that to you too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When your partner makes escalating, non-negotiable demands, steel yourself. They are preparing to leave you soon.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Easy Way Out
Imagine you were a teen and noticed that your masturbatory fantasies were invariably about sadism, raping children, torturing or killing. You would not dare tell anyone. You knew that if you acted on these you could end up in jail for the rest of your life, brutalised by other prisoners. What could you do? Join the Canadian military! You would be shipped to Afghanistan where you could torture, rape and murder to your heart’s content with almost no chance of legal repercussions. The hashish and heroin there are dirt cheap and again with almost no chance of legal repercussions. Heck, you might even get a medal if you killed enough people. You would come home to honour and bagpipes. Ironically, your family would be proud of you for being a serial killer, but one in the employ of the Canadian government.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Since everything is dangerous to some degree, you are not being all that useful when you tell someone not to do something because it is dangerous. You just sound like a worry wart or that you have an agenda other than safety. What is far more effective and helpful is explaining the relative dangers of different actions or even better, the actual odds of harm. That is what I did in my safe sex essay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The elderly lust after the young and beautiful almost as much as anyone else. Yet the young smack them down if they so much as stare.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Elections and Testosterone
After losing an election, the testosterone levels of supporters of the losers plummet. It seems human males see politics in the same way hippos see mating dominance fights.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the strangest porn movies I ever saw was a documentary on the Oasis TV channel. It showed how young Laotian males vigorously fist male elephants to cause them to leak sperm which they catch in little buckets on sticks for freezing and artificial insemination. The elephant appears to enjoy this. He gets an erection. They don’t touch the penis at all.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Did you ever wonder why people are embarrassed to buy condoms, tampons, KY jelly and Depends but not toilet paper?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Encounter With A Bully
In high school, I was deeply closeted gay virgin. One day, the class bully phoned me up, with laughing henchmen in the background and pretended to be a friend of mine asking to meet for sex. I felt panic at being exposed and angered they had accused my straight friend. Unfortunately, my mother listened in on an extension phone. Getting her off my back was just about impossible. I still have not forgiven the bully to this day. I know bullies do these things because they like tormenting others, but they have no idea just how much torment they cause when they pick on closeted gays who are already convinced they have no right to existence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The state should do everything it can to encourage marriage, gay, straight and informal. Couples look out for each other. If one becomes incapacitated, the other will likely provide care. Without that, the state gets stuck caring for the temporarily and permanently ill and disabled.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The End Of Your Sex Life
You know your sex life is over when people 20 years younger than you are too old to consider as sex partners.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
End of Your Sex Life
Your sex life ends, not when your plumbing fails, but when the intersection of the set of people you find sexually appealing and the set of people who find you sexually appealing dwindles to the null set.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Envy Gap
The generation gap is really about envy. The young envy the old for their political power. The old envy the young for their lust, energy, beauty and supple bodies.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Ephebophile Wishful Thinking
I sometimes read about some middle-aged ephebophile entrapped by the police. He was trolling on the Internet and thought was talking to a 15 year old when it was actually a police officer. I recall that when I was 15, I considered anyone over 17 far too ancient to communicate with. The ephebophile is suffering from extreme wishful thinking.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If men and women are equal, then men and women should be allowed to do the same things. Anything a man is allowed to do, a woman should be allowed to do. Anything a woman is allowed to do, a man should be allowed to do. So, for example, if men can swim topless, women should be allowed to as well. If women are permitted to make love to men, then men should also be allowed. If men are permitted to marry women, then so should women.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Equal Rights For Women
The way I see it, a woman should be allowed to do anything a man is allowed to do, if she proves capable e.g. drive a truck, go into combat, fight fires, swim topless, marry a woman.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We wiped out smallpox. The key was deciding it had to go no matter where on earth it was hiding. If we left it in some tiny corner of India, it would be only a matter of time till it sprang back more deadly than ever.
We have to do the same thing with HIV. Somehow we have to neutralise those with a vested interest in spreading HIV — those who hate gays and/or who think it necessary that promiscuity must be divinely punished. Just say no to those who interfere with condom and vaccine programs. These are insanely cruel people willing to sacrifice toddlers for their religious vitriol.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
No wonder old men have erectile dysfunction! Do you think you could get it up if the only people who would consider having sex with you were over 70?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Everything else being equal, with every passing year, your partner will find you more and more boring. You have to escalate your game each year to compensate. For example, you might take on more cleaning chores. You have to provide little food treats.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Youthful good looks belong in the same category as blossoms, butterflies, seafood and appliance warranties.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even Heterosexuals Prefer Same Sex Company
Even heterosexual married men prefer all-male company for a weekend get-away.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Your ex has the legal right never to speak to you again, never to see you again, to refuse mail and never to give any explanation for what changed their opinion of you. Whether you would ever consider behaving this way is immaterial.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Excuse for Murder
It was not that long ago you could kill a gay person and get off simply by saying you thought your victim was a queer. We could return to those days if the Tea Party have their way. Being gay today is bit like being a Jew in Germany in 1930. It is not a good idea to let the bigotry slide. The experience with the Nazis shows you must nip bigotry in the bud.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On 2013-01-01, the US Department of justice greatly expanded the definition of rape to include:
- sexual violence against men.
- sex when one partner was mentally incapacitated e.g. drunk, stoned, on drugs, mentally ill or retarded.
- when one partner is under legal age.
Here is how I see it:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- I can see adding in sexual violence against men, but not the others. Rape should imply violence. Watering it down with other lesser crimes make a rape mean less. The lesser crimes should have a different name.
- Even insects are capable of giving assent to sex. We should not pretend consent is the exclusive preserve of high-functioning humans. We should not use it as a back door way to be cruel to retarded people by preventing them from having sex when they are clearly as eager as anyone else. It is one thing to prevent pregnancy and quite another to deny sexual pleasure. Everyone gives consent to sex after some wine to partners they might otherwise reject. Why do you think men wine and dine their dates? Such a law makes illegal what for millennia has been considered fair play.
- When a barely illegal teen stalks an adult and the adult fails to fight off the advances, that surely is a totally different order of crime from an adult stalking and sexually assaulting a child. We should not be calling them the same thing or imposing the same punishment.
Every mountain goat is smart enough to know that if he abandons his mate, another male will soon take his place. Human males naïvely expect fidelity even with an absence of a year or more because they have such an exaggerated opinion of themselves.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Exporting Homophobia to Africa
Right wing Christians such as Pat Robertson’s group ACLJ (American Center for Law and Justice), The Family/C Street, the Political Research Associates and Republican Senator from Oklahoma James Inhofe have been busy in Africa lobbying for extreme right wing hate legislation such as that they helped David Bahati draft:
- It is illegal to even know a gay person.
- Death for being gay, even if you don’t have sex with anyone.
Even Hitler did not make it illegal to know a Jew. Robertson’s crime is too strange to have a name, but it, if anything, deserves the death penalty.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are fat, it does not matter how little you eat, how much you exercise, how fat your mother’s thighs were, how slow your metabolism is… you are eating more food than you are burning up each day. Even eating so much as a slice of bread above your tipping point, over a year can make you balloon up.
It is pointless to berate potential sexual partners for rejecting you. Even if you could persuade others to find your bloated flesh appealing, it is still you who will die early of a heart attack or have to painfully puff your way up a flight of stairs.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Nobody has compassion for the beautiful child who grows up and tries the old infallible charm gambits to no effect. These poor people just look ridiculous.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Look at a TV series that lasted three years or more. Look at an early episode, the sparkly actors. Then look again an episode from a few years later. The actors have sagged, wrinkled and gained weight. These actors are extraordinarily good looking people, whose occupation is looking good, who have the money and motivation to do everything they can to keep looking as good as possible. It is unlikely your mate will age as gracefully. So don’t pick your mate based on how close to perfection they look. That crispness will not last even three years.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Nearly everyone looked a heck of a lot better a decade ago. For nearly everyone, hot passion fades after a few years. That suggests looking primarily for someone ultra-hot for sex makes perfect sense, but not when you are looking for a lifetime partner.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think the idea of porn is that you are supposed to fantasise that you will replace one of the actors, or join in. The problem with that is I know that in reality, even guys 1/10 as attractive as the ones in the movie, would tell me to get lost.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Failure of Cute
Scour the Internet for the best piece of porn their is, where the actors are as cute as they come. How many times would you consider watching that film before you were wishing for something new? Now consider you got yourself a boyfriend as cute as the one in the movie. This boyfriend was good at sex, but nothing else. How long do you think it would take for you to get bored with him too?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Fairness to Perverts
I have a quite different way of looking at the outer philias that most people. I ask, what is it that I want these people to do? Most people want to make their lives as miserable as possible no matter what they do. They hate them just for existing. I ask, what sacrifice can I reasonably expect of these people to satisfy the demands of society? I think, if I were in their position, what would be fair both to them and to society? So for example, I have no problem with paedophiles looking at pornographic art work they created themselves out of their imagination. No children are harmed. It is not society’s business.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Stubble was once a way to show manly contempt for prissy grooming. Now there are shavers that mow and tame the stubble to precisely measured length, like a finely manicured lawn.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
False Stereotypes Will Not Die
False stereotypes are highly resistant to extinction. All it takes is one conforming example to convince a believer the stereotype was correct.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Fame and Children
When heterosexuals become famous, it unfair to any children. Gay people do not usually have this problem.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Males tend to make a big mistake when looking for a life partner. They create a perfect fantasy person, then go out looking for him or her. Almost as silly is to go out looking as many people as possible until they find the one they like the best, perhaps a movie or porn star. What makes sense is looking for the most appealing person among those who already like them back.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Fat Is Not Beautiful
There are a number of grossly overweight women — 100 kg (220.46 lbs) or more overweight. They insist this obesity is normal, healthy and beautiful. They refer to themselves as plus-size. They insist that it is unspeakably rude for anyone to mention their weight or to reject them as sex partners. They imagine by fiercely asserting that fat is beautiful will stop others from feeling nauseous at seeing them. What what really bothers me is they take to the airwaves to convince tubby young women give up the struggle to control their weight. There are consequences: looking revolting, rejection by most potential sex partners, diabetes, cardiac problems, reduced lifespan… It should be criminal to try to convince someone to hurt their health this way. It is similar to what a drug pusher does.
On the other hand I am not advocating fat people beat themselves up or that they be teased. That does not help.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Being proud of being fat is like being proud of smoking.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It was only relatively recently in the history of human civilisation that condoms, antibiotics, abortions and birth control pills and were invented. Up until then, the only way to control STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) s and unwanted pregnancies were abstinence and monogamy. It was a matter of life and death to keep your mate faithful to you alone. The risk-takers could try to enforce a harem to be faithful. This is why religious folk, who hold onto social norms thousands of years old, are so incredibly uptight about sex outside marriage.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I am baffled why straight men find women sexy who are rude, self-centred, demanding and emotionally erratic. Don’t they think for a moment what such a person would be like to live with for decades?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
FatkinisThe manufacturers of fatkinis are attempting to persuade seriously obese women to declare I am beautiful. All women are beautiful, accept that they always be fat, put on a large flamboyant bikini and go out to bake in the sun at some public beach. I don’t think that is wise:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Though Rubenesque women have their admirers, most people find them disgusting. Even if bystanders are not so rude as to make cracks they have ways of letting you know they are annoyed at you rubbing your beached whalehood in their face. You must be prepared for some cruel cracks.
- If you let your weight balloon from 136.08 kg (300 lbs) to 181.44 kg (400 lbs), you are much worse off from a point of view of circulatory health. Don’t give up. Do what you can. Some safe, effective appetite suppressants should be coming along any time now. You want to avoid as much permanent damage to your body as possible in the interim.
- Tanning causes a nasty form of cancer called melanoma. You need sunscreen to bask outside.
Fear of Plumbing
Can you think of anything that is terribly dangerous for men to do that is perfectly safe for women to do? This fear of homosexuality is just a taboo. It has nothing to do with objective reality. The plumbing all fits together in hundreds of ways. Obviously promiscuous unprotected sex has its dangers, but that is because it is promiscuous and unprotected, not because it is homo or heterosexual.
Even if homosexual attraction were as dangerous as smoking, does anyone deny smokers the right to marry? Do they drag them to their deaths behind pickups? Do they crucify them on fences? This persecution of gays is just malice.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Fear of Pregnancy
How can straight people ever manage to have sex when they know the tiniest slip means signing on for a 20-year babysitting gig and a expense, not counting university tuition.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I find it puzzling that women in particular affect babyish voices that suggest complete incompetence and terminally low IQ (Intelligence Quotient) to increase their sex appeal. Who wants a drooling idiot who can’t even plug in a toaster for themselves as a life companion?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Feigning Infantile Incompetence
In heterosexual culture, grown women often masquerade as infants to appeal to male partners. They feign infantile incompetence and stupidity. They use baby talk. They affect an infantile accent. They call their partner Daddy. They use makeup and lotions to hide their true age. Nobody seems to consider this appeal to their partner’s incest-paedophilia fantasy at all disreputable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Women are just as barking mad Christians as men, yet you never see them conspiring to beat up or kill gay people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There are two quite good reasons there are more contraceptives for females than males.
- If a husband takes a male contraceptive, it won’t help prevent a pregnancy by the wife’s lover.
- A woman bears the bulk of the penalty for an unwanted pregnancy. She is thus the one with the most motive to block it. She will take most care.
Ideally both partners should use contraception. Then one partner cannot blame the other on failure. Then one partner cannot unconsciously sabotage the pact to avoid pregnancy. If one forgets or screws up, the couple is still covered. Nature works hard to derail contraception. You need all the help you can get.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In most species the male must jump through hoops and give the female presents to impress her. Even with the progress of equality of the sexes, that attitude of female entitlement remains in humans. As a gay man, I find it revolting, when males let females drag them around by the nose. The women seem so conniving and heartless and the men so pathetic and clueless. Yet they treat this mutual exploitation as something sublime.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Janet Jackson sang But what have you done for me lately? She came by this unappealing trait honestly. The females of most species demand the males perform for them, with colours, vigour, presents or dances. She is ensuring he has the best genetics for her offspring and in some cases that he has the wherewithal to be a good provider. Straight males take this in stride. Gay males find the attitude offensive.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Female vs Male Fantasy
The primary fantasy outlet of females is the Harlequin romance novel, of males, Internet porn.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Fertility Treatment Downside
Don’t those women who go through torturous and expensive fertility treatments realise her vanity will inflict those same fertility problems on the child who will inherit her genes?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I am opposed to fertility treatments for the following reasons:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- It spits in the face of the thousands of orphans who need parents.
- It is a revolting ego trip to reject an existing child just so you can have one that looks like you. It is as sick as genetically modifying your dog to look like you.
- Older parents do not have the energy to properly look after young children or teens.
- The earth is already grossly overpopulated. The last thing we need is yet another baby.
Finding a Guy
Looking back over my life, I spent an inordinate amount of effort fruitlessly trying to get guys of a particular type or other to have sex with me. In the movies, all you have to do is order a pizza.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When a Christian boy has his first orgasm, his parents tell him that Yahweh the god is going to roast him alive for eternity. When an ancient Greek boy had his first orgasm, his family held a celebration.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
First vs Last
The first time you masturbated and the first time in your life you had sex are indelibly burned into memory in every detail. The very last time in your life you had sex or the last time you masturbated, there is little chance you remember at all.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Fixation on Getting Laid
We tend to poke fun at people who are fixated on getting laid, yet evolutionary biologists tell us that reproduction is the only intrinsic purpose of life for all animals including humans.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The most common thing seniors tell young people is youth is fleeting. You wake up one morning and it is over. Youth seems to take but a few weeks. To young people it is seems it will last forever. So what?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- You only have a short time of being head-swivelling beautiful. Take advantage of it. You will not get another chance later. Stay on top off you weight. Exercise. Ride a bike instead of a car. Avoid toxins. Even if you think you are not good looking enough to bother, you are much better looking than you ever will be later.
- Travel the world. Later your immune system and your bones will not be up to it. Further, you will have too many obligations to get the time off.
- Learn as much as you can from your university education. Later it will be very difficult to afford the money and time to take another run at it. Don’s waste this extremely valuable opportunity.
Ask a Christian, Who do you think the sexiest person in the world is? On the other hand, who is someone for whom you have zero attraction. Now, by an act of will flip your evaluations. They can’t do it without lying, however, they demand we gays perform the trick as an act of fealty to their god Yahweh.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Folly of Recruitment
Christians claim gays recruit straights to become gay. There is nothing you can do to a gay person to make them straight and nothing you can do to a straight to make them gay. Granted you can lock a heterosexual person in jail and they will make do with same sex partners, but they will still prefer an opposite sex partner. They did not become gay. They not come to prefer same sex partners. So… gays can’t recruit straights, even if they wanted to. The closest they could do is help in-the-closet gays meet other gays. Perhaps Christians imagine being gay is like belonging to a Satanic church and you are supposed to go door-to-door looking for converts. Christians often make being gay miserable. Even if recruiting were possible, gays would not do it. They wouldn’t want others to suffer too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Foods and Medicines
Foods and medicines are similar in many ways. You eat them expecting them to make your body work better. It is just that medicines are more concentrated and are more likely to have negative side effects. No study of your health should be considered complete without an inventory of all the foods and medicines you are consuming and a reevaluation (perhaps with some experimentation) to see which ones are helping and which ones hurting.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Foolish Forced Marriages
How stupid can those old Christian coots be who try to force young gay men into marriages with women. Not only are the lives of the young men ruined, so are those of the wives. Straying is inevitable and that straying will necessarily be promiscuous and anonymous to keep it hidden. That mean sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS which he will bring back to his wife. Those meddling old farts cause so much trouble!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
For the Last Time
Normally life gives you no indication you are doing something for the last time — having sex, having an orgasm, kissing someone, going out to a meal with a friend…~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
For a Trouble-free Sex Life, Start Early
If teens allow religion to frighten them into postponing sex, it is more likely to come bubbling out in the form of some perversion, sexual dysfunction, obsession or fetish. People who start having sex when they first feel horny, usually have no problems with orgasm, guilt or other psychological complications.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Child sex play is not motivated by pleasure or passion. It is the satisfaction of successfully rebelling against parental authority and rigidity. That same motivator sometimes also works in adults. Be careful what you ban.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In a beehive, only one individual, the queen, is involved in reproduction. The rest work. In human society, there is a crazed drive to maximise population growth by forcing every adult to breed. Sometimes, Christians will even kill those who refuse. Humans don’t seem to appreciate the value of non-breeding workers.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Forcing Sex Down Others’ Throats
Bigots complain that gays are trying to force their sexuality down their throats. It is not gay sex that is explicitly depicted in every prime time drama. It is not gay couples making out in bus shelters. It is not gay sex at the heart of advertising. Gays are as horny as anyone, but you won’t see gay sex unless you go looking for it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Forget Fairy Tales
Almost everything you learned from fairy tales, romance novels and the movies about how to create and sustain a relationship was a bum steer.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
People set themselves up for a lifetime of misery by imagining they will be able to reform their potential partner of their bad habits. They won’t. Further, during courting, partners are on their best behaviour. They are going to get much worse. The proper question to ask yourself is can I live with my partner the just way they are now, but with more wrinkles and fat.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Formerly Hot Seniors
Unless you are over 60, it is almost impossible to appreciate that the current crop of 60 year olds were once the hottest teens on the planet.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Frantic Dance
If when you are courting, you find you have to maintain a frantic dance to keep your partner interested, consider that ever after you will never be able to relax and be yourself. What makes it worse is, in addition, the game of appeasement will later not seem as worth the candle.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
To ensure domestic harmony, avoid fridge chaos, namely placing items in the fridge in a the different place each time. If you have a good memory, you can still find things, but your partner will have to search the whole fridge top to bottom each time.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Fundamental Incompatibility
Men and women have diametrically opposed tastes in movies, clothing, food, furnishing, live entertainment… It is a wonder they can ever stay together long enough to raise children.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When I was in my early twenties, I launched three gay lib projects. I figured I had less than one in a million chance they would make any noticeable difference. After all, when I started, everyone, even my family, my friends and the gay people were opposed to me. I did them just because it felt better to put up some resistance than give up. They succeeded far beyond my wildest dreams. I thought, ending hunger, world nuclear disarmament, stopping resource wars, saving the environment etc. should be a piece of cake in comparison. This turned out not to be so. I have found it difficult managing the frustration, anger and despair. I need to recreate my original detachment to results to be effective. Gandhi put it this way: It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Futility of Vigilantism
Vigilantes in Canada entrap ephebophiles by pretending to be 14-year old girls on the Internet. The men they catch are not high-value targets. They are deluded losers, imagining the Internet is crawling with 14-year old girls looking for fat old men to spoil rotten. They have no chance whatsoever unless they are looking for prostitutes. Vigilantes waste police time because focusing the legal system on the least dangerous of paedophiles takes the focus away from the most dangerous ones. There is no value is protecting a virtual victim, unless doing so indirectly protects a real victim.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Future Of paedophilia
Our society’s attitude toward paedophiles is hysterical and irrational. It reminds me of the attitude toward gays in the 1950s and witchcraft in the 1700s. Anyone questioning witchcraft risked being branded a witch and burned alive. Most people are far more interested in viciously punishing paedophiles, even ones who do not molest children, than they are in protecting children from molestation.
Most Canadian cities have vigilante gangs who entrap ephebophiles (people sexually attracted to teens) then punish them without trial. They are so excitable they are sloppy. In 2016 they widely smeared the name of a police officer whose name rhymed with the suspect, and expressed no remorse.
The church has taught that thinking about a wicked act is just as bad as doing it. This makes nearly every male guilty of paedophilia in his own mind because he finds a shapely 15-year old female appealing. Vigilantes project their own paedophile guilt on others, much the way closeted homosexuals behave as extreme homicidal homophobes. The irony is, this attraction is completely normal. In our hunter-gatherer past, puberty marked the beginning of sex life.
Vigilantes take attention away from crimes against small children and focus them on much less important virtual crimes where the victim is fictitious. Real 13 year olds do not troll the net asking for sex There is little need for entrapment to protect them.
So what do I think is going to happen in the coming decades?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- We will stop conflating ephebophila with paedophilia. Ephebophiles like post-pubescent teenagers. paedophiles like pre-pubescent children. It is silly to conflate consensual sex with a horny 16 year old with rape of a naïve 6 year old using identical punishments for both. The deliberate confusion trivialises paedophilia.
- We will be more compassionate. We will realise that neither ephebophiles nor paedophiles chose to be that way. It arose from genetics and early abusive experiences. Our goal will be to protect children, not make life as miserable as possible for paedophiles.
- We will be practical. We cannot very well expect anyone to simply turn off their sexual desire, as everyone who tried to stop masturbating can attest. You have to provide a safe outlet. So eventually we will permit cartoons, drawings, collages, CGI movies or historical kiddie porn works. We will prohibit the manufacture of new porn involving living children.
- The age of consent will be lowered back to 14 or to puberty. No one can lie about whether they have reached puberty. Today’s teens are much more sophisticated. They are quite capable of giving informed consent. They are not empty-headed women raised in a locked-garden in 1900.
- We will stop pretending that teenagers have no sexual desire, and only have sex when an ephebophile talks them into it. Think back to when you were a teen. That was the horniest period of your life. Logically, you would expect the teen to be the instigator since they are the horniest of the pair.
- Everyone will be issued a forge-proof ID they can use to prove their age.
- Eventually we may have brain implants that turn off or redirect desire.
Soldiers are prone to gang rape. About three men take turns raping a girl. They cut off parts of her anatomy. This makes no sense morally or from a Darwinian point of view. Injuring the girl makes it more difficult for her to raise any offspring that may arise from the rape. The men can infect each other with their semen. The blood from the girl can infect the men. But then soldiers are not the sharpest knives in the drawer.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Consider the integral part music played in the civil rights movement, the anti-war movement and the anti-apartheid movement. The gay civil rights movement needs its own stirring songs.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Raymond Taavel was a well-known gay activist in Nova Scotia. He served as co-chair of Halifax Pride Week and was once the editor of Wayves magazine, a local gay publication. A burly psychiatric patient out on unescorted leave beat him to death while shouting anti-gay slurs.
I put the blame squarely on the churches and in particular the Catholic Church which is the original source of anti-gay propaganda.
I was a gay activist in the 1970s. I received about 380,000 abusive phone calls and 3000 death threats. Every homophobe justifies his violence with church doctrine. The churches no longer preach stoning adulterers or burning witches. It is high time they laid off encouraging violence against, bullying, harassment and persecution of gay people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A gay Christian is as absurd as a Jewish Nazi.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Gay Exception
Oddly, Canadians don’t consider mad infatuation of a male of any age for another male as gay, if the adored one plays pro hockey.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Gay Genocide
Premier Bill Vander Zalm in BC and President Ronald Reagan in the USA both totally blocked education about HIV for many years. The result was tens of thousands of needless deaths. I presume that was the intention. Maybe they just wanted to kill gays. Perhaps they felt doing nothing would solve the AIDS problem by killing off all potential victims. Both were devout Christians. In the USA eventually surgeon general Koop refused to be complicit. Both Vander Zalm and Reagan were successful in killing tens of thousands of gays. Nearly all my gay friends in Vancouver and San Francisco are now dead.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
President Ronald Reagan in the USA and Premier Bill Vander Zalm in BC Canada came up with the same plan to murder hundreds of thousands of gays and get away with it, motivated by religious fundamentalism. They simply banned all education materials about HIV/AIDS. There was so much misinformation in the media, when the government ignored the problem, it made it sound like AIDS was an urban myth. Being the wishful thinkers they are, people took no precautions. Most of my friends died as a result. Charles Everett Koop, the surgeon general eventually forced Reagan to relent. Vander Zalm later came up with the idea of concentration camps for infected people, but he was quickly shot down.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight women in particular are most turned on by elegant, expensive surroundings. Gay males tend to be the opposite. Abandoned, dark, run-down places are more exciting, also small remote cabins or campsites. I think it just amounts to gays not wanting to run into straights when they are on the prowl. We gays have had so many centuries of being killed when our cover was blown, we can’t get used to the idea it is no longer necessary to hide.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay In Russia
Putin enacted a number of anti-gay laws in Russia. It is illegal to be openly gay. It is illegal to call for equality in civil rights. It is illegal to say anything positive about gays. Any same sex couple will have their children taken away. These laws also applied to foreigners and athletes visiting Russia for the Sochi Olympics in 2014. These laws apply to both straight and gay people.
It is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. We are going to have a large number of alcohol and testosterone fueled athletes and spectators eager to spit in Putin’s face. Putin will resolutely refuse to be scoffed at. He will happily round up thousands of foreigners and send them to Siberia. It will be an international incident of monumental proportions. Partly, it will look as if Putin arrested athletes simply because he was afraid they would defeat Russian ones.
Nobody is blinking as we head to this craziness.
Putin will save more face if he says, that during the Olympics only, his laws will not apply to foreigners.
I think the best solution is to host the Olympics in 10 countries simultaneously. That would put relatively little burden on any one country and would allow rapid last minute switches in hosting.
We should not look the other way at Putin’s homophobia, any more than we would if Putin were doing this to blacks or Jews.
I am disgusted with the Canadian athletes who almost unanimously call for pretending not to notice what Putin is doing and make no protest. All they care about is their personal medals. I learned on the CBC that they are motivated purely by personal glory. Unlike people in other countries Canadians and Americans are not motivated by patriotism.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A perfect example of karma is the way every cute young gay man who spits on older gay men, calling them trolls, eventually turns into a troll himself, barring accidental death.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay Marriage Fidelity
The reasons for discriminating against gays, including denying marriage, all boil down to quoting the old testament. There are no secular reasons. Therefore, imposing gay discrimination is equivalent to imposing Christianity. That violates freedom of religion.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think there are three streams of gay prejudice.
- Dislike for males who are horny to have sex with males. (They don’t actually have to do it.) To a lesser extent, there is a prejudice toward females who like to have sex with females. Males can identify with that, and fantasise threesomes.
- Dislike for camp males who affect a nasal accent, wear makeup and nail polish, and like to do Judy Garland impersonations.
- Dislike for lesbians who wear male dress, ride motorcycles and exhibit macho swagger. This prejudice is not that strong, partly because such lesbians are perceived as dangerous to hassle.
I still have a fairly strong aversion to camp males and I am gay myself. The victims of murders and beatings are most commonly camp males.
I have noticed the focus of gay lib has switched from protecting males who like males to protecting diversity, protecting the camp, transgendered, transvestite and miscellaneous others.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay Pride = Mardi Gras
Denying full equality of gays based on gay pride parade high jinks is like denying marriage to heterosexuals because of Mardi Gras.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay Pride Parades
As chairman of G*A*T*E, I organised the first pride parade in Vancouver (I think it was 1973-08-08 plus or minus a year or two). For most of the participants it was their first gay demonstration. They were terrified they would be killed or beat up. They refused to march along the planned route.
Modern prides are completely different. That wild Mardi Gras atmosphere says Even when I act this outrageously, the Christian bigots cannot hurt me. It so exhilarating. The rest of the year, we are so suppressed. Only in safety of numbers can we let loose. Though I am embarrassed by some of the antics in pride parades, I would hate to see a return to the terror of the original.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay vs Straight Adultery
Straights and gays have a quite different attitude to infidelity. Straights carry on as if it were the end of the world and sometimes end the relationship. They will bring up the incident even years later. Gays usually think little of it. When gays do get upset, they blame their partner, not the third party who probably had no idea the person they picked up was already attached. In contrast, straights often go into a murderous rage at the third party.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay vs Straight Frustration
As a gay male, I watch straight males, obviously aching and sexually frustrated. This looks a bit like what I feel myself, though, to me, it seems bizarre the bimbos they lust after. Unlike a straight male, as a gay male, I have to keep those thoughts of frustration to myself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay vs Women’s Lib
There are two main differences between the struggle for womens’ and gay rights. Women can’t hide the fact they are women. Their large numbers were always apparent. In contrast, gays hid and made their numbers look negligible. On the other hand, gay men always had the vote because they were so well camouflaged that there was no way to take it away from them. Gay men have always been able to covertly manipulate the levers of power.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay Youth Worship
The biggest disadvantage to being gay is the almost universal worship of youth and beauty. When you get older, its as though you have leprosy. You just don’t want to be seen in public.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay: Nothing Special
Religious parents like to pretend that being gay is something terribly strange. When a son brings his boyfriend home to meet the parents it is the exact same act as when a daughter does it. There is no reason to treat it any differently.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gays Come From Straights
Isn’t it peculiar that every gay person’s two parents, four grand parents and eight great grand parents are all nominally straight.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gays in the Movies
In the movies, gays are usually comic relief or arch villains. It would be a nice change to see one as a lead.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gays Lag Blacks
Gay civil rights still lags far behind black civil rights. Gays have not even got around to demanding integration yet.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gays May Marry Women
Allowing gays to legally marry only members of the opposite sex is as silly as telling them they can marry anyone they please, so long as it is their grandmother.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gays Will Forever Be a Minority
Straights fear that if they give gay people equal rights they will be swamped by gay culture. This cannot happen. Gays will forever be a small minority. This is like worrying a creek would overwhelm the Colorado River.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The only important different between a male and a female is that a female can potentially bear children. Yet 99% of the discrimination against women and gays has nothing whatsoever to do with that difference.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gender Neutral Singular Pronoun
The Swedes now have a singular gender-neutral pronoun hen. English could use one too. English forces you to specify sexual plumbing even when it is completely irrelevant, e.g. when giving instructions for a gender-unspecified user to make a computer jump through hoops. Some people, myself included, use they even though, technically, it is incorrect. Officially he covers both he and she, but that is rather patriarchal. Further, there is the matter of the 1 in 200 intersex people, whom you cannot pigeonhole.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gender Rôle s
One of the unwritten gender rôle rules is that only males may change a toilet roll or roll of paper towels.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The words for describing how pleasing someone looks have gender. E.g. she is pretty, beautiful or thin. He is handsome, buff or a hunk. Gender neutral words include good looking, appealing, attractive.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
That intense ache you feel on seeing someone breathtakingly beautiful is your genes goading you to brave the almost certain humiliation of rejection for a chance to create superior offspring.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you encounter an individual who makes your teeth sweat, makes you shiver and bite your hand in lust, you have just unconsciously computed that your genes merged with theirs would create an individual with optimal survival and reproductive success. Your genes are screaming Go for it!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Here are some ways I have seen people and animals use to get laid:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Have higher status than the desired partner.
- Gain higher status than the desired partner, e.g. workout.
- Pretend to have higher status than the desired partner.
- Get the desired partner into isolation where there are no higher status competition nearby.
- Shamelessly show off all desirable traits, abilities and possessions.
- Use bribery.
Imagine being 25, but the only people who have any interest in you sexually are 60+. That is what it is like to get old.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Getting Your Life in Order
If you can’t motivate yourself to get your life in order, don’t have kids. They will make it much harder.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Give Up Quickly
If your lover dumps you, give up, immediately. If things have deteriorated to the point they treat you that badly, there is no hope for a lasting happy relationship. They were not the one. The fact they dumped you proves it. Be glad you escaped as lightly as you did. Hollywood and fairy tales cruelly trick you into pointlessly hanging on and on.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Imagine you had found a comfortable long term lover. What are the odds they would be dumping you, saying they never wanted to see you again, then coming back and playing similar mind games? Not likely. So if you have a partner jerking you around like that forget them!. They will just poison your life in ways you could never imagine. If they have dumped you even once, there is very little possibility you will ever be able to create a smooth relationship. At best, you will never be able to relax wondering if they will suddenly dump you yet again.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Giving Up The Need to Win Arguments
Smooth sailing in a relationship may be as simple as deciding that harmony is more important than winning arguments.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The medical discovery that made the greatest improvement in my health in the last 20 years was accidentally discovering that I was allergic to wheat. I discovered it all by myself without medical prodding. Consider dropping various common allergens for a week just to see what happens — milk, wheat, eggs… You may be in for a wonderful surprise. However, I must admit gluten-free baked goods taste like cardboard.~ Roedy 9 most common food allergies (1948-02-04 age:70)
Goal of Sexuality
In any discussion of sexuality, the unquestioned assumption is the goal is purely female pleasure. Get stuffed!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If AIDS is God’s punishment for being gay, why don’t monogamous gays and gay virgins ever get HIV?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If AIDS is God’s punishment for homosexuality, why does God smite straights more frequently than lesbians?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Going for the Body Perfect
There is a tendency when you are younger to seek a life partner who turns you on something fierce sexually. The catch is that body-perfect will fade, so terribly fast. What sort of personality will be left? That will determine if your relationship is heaven or hell.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is a dangerous thing to get involved with someone who has no history of gracefully breaking up with exes. It they dump all their bottled resentments suddenly and at once and announce they have always hated you and only pretended to love you, it is hard not to be knocked for a loop that could last a lifetime.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Graham James was a hockey coach who had sex with several of his male charges. He was convicted of about 300 counts of sex with a teenager under 18 and jailed. The boys are now adults. They take no responsibility whatsoever for what happened. They portray themselves as helpless victims calling for even longer prison sentences for Mr. James. Something does not add up. How could James have sex approximately 100 times with each boy without some degree of co-operation of the boys? I think what is going on is the boys were horny and fully co-operated. As adults they are ashamed and have affected victimhood.
In 2008-05 the age of consent in Canada was raised from 14 to 16. At the time of the alleged offense, the age of consent was 14, but James was judged the much more prudish modern standard of 18. An offence must be judged by the laws in effect at the time of the offence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Grandparenting as the Reward
The reward for being a parent is the possibility of being a grand parent.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Greatest Trouble
The Buddhists correctly tell us that the greatest troubles of life are old age, sickness and death. But when you are 20, you think the worst thing that can happen is not getting laid.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Australian entertainer Rolf Harris was convicted of child molestation when he was 84. That conviction does not accomplish much. Had it happened 60 years earlier it might have prevented some crimes. He also might have lived long enough to serve the jail term. Further, the trial could have been much fairer with events fresh in the witnesses’ minds. Why this absurd delay? Because the public imagines a paedophile could not possibly be intelligent, charming, funny and famous. They think he has to be deformed with green saliva speaking in grunts. That silly expectation blinded people to the crimes going on right under their noses.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
CBC radio reported a successful prosecution of a rabbi over a sexual encounter with a boy 40 years ago. They described the rabbi as young, handsome, funny, loved and respected. They seems to think this was very strange. They expected paedophiles to be hideous with green saliva. This false belief that paedophiles are vastly different from ordinary people lets them pass under the radar.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There is almost nothing you can do to erase the pain of grief by processing the grief. Grief makes you withdraw from life. It makes you completely self-centred. You have to put your attention on something new and the needs of others.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straights are unaware that when they talk about pussy, they are just as nauseating as to us gays as when gay gross out straights with details of their sexual fantasies.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gross Straight Males
It is hard not to be grossed out by straight males if you listen to them talking among themselves about sex. Sex might as well be a balm for a loathsome skin disease of the penis. They want to stick in a vagina, any vagina to get relief from the itch. Yet these guys think of themselves as infinitely morally superior to gays. It is hard to restrain my contempt.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Grossing Out Etiquette
Gay people are generally aware that discussing sexual details grosses out straight people. So they refrain. However, straight people do not reciprocate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Grossly Obese Evangelists
It is a fad for grossly obese females to go on television to evangelise obesity. Their message is:
- Fat is beautiful. It is wicked to say otherwise.
- Fat is healthy.
- It is pointless to try to control your weight. Surrender to your inner pig. Make no further efforts at weight control.
I object. Obesity and gluttony are disgusting. Obesity causes diabetes and cardiovascular problems. Obesity discourages exercise. Consider these famous fat people who died young:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Zero Mostel (1915-02-28 1977-09-08 age:62)
- Elvis Presley (1935-01-08 1977-08-16 age:42)
- Richard Griffiths (1947-07-31 2013-03-28 age:65)
- John Candy (1950-10-31 1994-03-04 age:43)
- Carol Yager (1960-01-26 1994-07-18 age:34)
- Chris Farley (1964-02-15 1997-12-18 age:33)
I really dislike growing old. I was in my twenties, then I woke up one day and suddenly I was 70 years old. However, I am glad I was born way back in 1948. Not only did I get to participate in the dawn of the computer age, I got to have all the worry-free unprotected sex I could handle in the 1970s.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Growing Up Gay
I was gay as a boy, but I did not notice until I was 15. Other people might have. From my point of view, there was nothing about me that attracted me to boys, it was just that most boys were more inherently interesting and admirable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gushing over a fellow male is considered gay and poor taste unless that male is a pro athlete.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Most people are automatically happy when a baby is born. I ponder how well the parents will treat that child over the next two decades and, often as not, feel I should mourn.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The most overlooked thing you can do to make your relationship last is to treat your partner with the same common courtesy you would extend to a stranger.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why do Americans hate gays so much? Despite their technological and military achievements, America is a backward and superstitious country. The media pander to these superstitions, for example treating ghosts, witches, angels, gods and ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) as established fact and ridiculing doubters. This exposure reinforces the superstitions. Leviticus 18:22 is an Old Testament verse ordering Christians to kill all the gays. Most Christians have never actually read Leviticus, just heard this cherry picked quotation. If they did, they would discover Leviticus hates nearly everyone and orders them all killed. Homosexuality is a very popular sin to condemn, since most people have no temptation to commit it, and smug Christians can safely be as nasty as they like to the sinners. It gives them a scapegoat. Churches preach this verse, knowing full well that killing gays is illegal, and in Canada that hate speech inciting murder is illegal. However, thugs hear them, and beat and up and kill gays, again feeling virtuous about it. Others are merely spiteful, again feeling smugly virtuous about it. Ordinary Christians feel no guilt about denying gays employment, housing, hotel accommodation, and wedding cakes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
He Would Just Dump You Again
If he dumps you, forget him. Even if he came back, you are not sufficiently compatible, he would just dump you again.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Het Cruel Games
I feel sorry for straight people because they so easily get trapped in some vicious games. For example, if male approaches a female and offers some small talk to break the ice, usually she will rudely put him down as if he had just committed a criminal act. Males can’t win when it comes to sex. He is supposed to know via ESP when his partner wants to have sex. She will alternately bawl him out both for suggesting sex and for failing to suggest sex, until he just wants to hide. Even in the animal kingdom, males have to dance and compete to impress the females with their wealth and vitality. This male beauty pageant is degrading for an intelligent species. With some biological justification, females get into the headset that the sole purpose of their partner is to please them. To make the game more challenging they say If you loved me, you would know what I want. The poor heterosexual males, no matter how badly they are abused by these games, can’t just say screw it. They are trapped like moths to a flame. I wonder if this cruelty is partly what fuels violence against women.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexuals can be so insufferable with their KKK-like notions of being the superior sexual orientation.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexual Men Are Obsolete
The heterosexual male is obsolete. He is too strongly attracted to violence. Modern weapons have magnified his desires for mayhem to the point he can easily send mankind into extinction. His out-of-control ego blocks every attempt at peace between countries. At some point we are going to have to genetically modify humans to breed out these violent traits or eliminate heterosexual males altogether.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexual Men like Frilly Underpants
Oddly, straight men are attracted to frilly, impractical clothing, so long as it is draped over a female. For gay men, this sort of apparel is a big turn off. Gay men are turned on by practical male attire, draped over a male. So oddly, gay men are more manly that straight ones.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
As an out gay man, the only time it is appropriate for me to let it be known I am interested in someone else is in all-gay company. Straight people never turn it off. From a gay perspective, it is quite gross, not only because it is displayed at such inappropriate times, but because it is so blatant. It is like watching monkeys.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Older males make themselves ridiculous if they cannot successfully hide their sexual attraction to those much younger.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Hiding In Plain Sight
Paedophiles like George Herbert Walker Bush and your local priest can hide in plain sight because the taboo is so strong nobody can believe than anyone they know would ever violate it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Hiding in Plain Sight
Prior to the 1970s gays could hide in plain site because the taboo was so strong, that no one could believe anyone they knew would consider violating it. People refused to consider the possibility that even Liberace was gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
High Maintenance Partners
People pick high maintenance partners because they imagine such a partner will bestow on them higher status. Huh? If I see someone with a gold-digger on his arm, I think Poor guy. He could not attract anyone on his own merit. The best he could do is find someone attracted enough to his money to stick around.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A thousand years ago, adultery was a serious crime for three reasons:
- A woman needed a man to support her. Without him she would die.
- There was no birth control. Adultery meant babies without anyone to support them. There was no way for woman to bring up a child without a husband.
- There were no condoms. Adultery meant incurable venereal disease would soon follow.
Christians overreact to adultery today as if these conditions still applied. Adultery should be worked out privately by the couple. It no longer requires the intervention of the entire community.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The History of Adultery
A million years ago we lived much like our nearest relatives, the bonobos and chimpanzees. Unlike other animals that breed only on a few days of the year, we human bred all year round. We were promiscuous. Then around 10,000 BC, with the invention of agriculture, we did a 180-degree flip. We invented marriage and monogamy. This was in conflict with our biological nature, so we invented adultery, but carefully kept it under wraps.
Monogamy had some useful purposes:
- Preventing the spread of STDs.
- Preventing the spread of parasites.
- Ensuring the children a man supports are genetically his.
The modern condom is very good at preventing all STDs. Pretty well all parasites can be dealt with. They are more an inconvenience than a threat. Today technology has provided multiple excellent means of birth control. We have Maury Povich and the DNA paternity test. So the necessity of monogamy is evaporating. People are living far longer than ever before. Till death do us part is a much longer term commitment than it used to be. Humans are adjusting with more frequent divorce and serial marriages. Another option is consensual, constrained adultery. This is a practical solution often adopted by gay couples who don’t want to lose their primary relationship just because of wanderlust.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
History of Forbidding Marriage
In the days of slavery, Christian Americans denied slaves the right to marry and they felt smugly superior for it. In 1967, 19 states had laws forbidding blacks to marry whites, justifying their Jim Crow laws with racist claptrap. In 2008, Christian Americans denied gay people the right to marry, claiming change was unthinkable and harmful to Christians. In 2010, the supreme court of California told those Christian Americans they could no longer continue to deny gays their civil right to marry. Even though the judge chastised the Christians for arguing without facts and by lying outrageously, presenting urban myths as fact, they vowed to take the case to the supreme court where corruption, bias and bigotry just might prevail.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The younger generation works out techniques to discourage older generations from hitting on them. The current generation is particularly skilled:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Inept tattoos.
- Piercings that look like distressed anuses.
- Straggly wispy beards.
- stretchy cloth that emphasises rolls of fat.
- Raccoon makeup.
- Bald heads.
- Baggy clothes.
HIV works by inserting its RNA (Ribonucleic acid) into the DNA of your T-cells. When your T-cells reproduce, they inadvertently reproduce the HIV. This suggests some sort of CRISPR (Clustered Regularly Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats) approach might eventually provide a cure. CRISPR scissors would go inside the cells and snip out the HIV.
HIV only infects humans. Related SIV (Simian Immunodeficiency Virus) diseases infect primates, but do not do any harm. I think we need to study other species to find out what they are doing to combat HIV. Perhaps we can artificially borrow their tricks.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Demanding legal HIV disclosure is counter productive. Why?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Instead of using safe sex practices, people rely on others disclosing.
- It can take 6 months for a test to show up positive. In the meantime the patient thinks they are HIV- (Human Immuno-deficiency Virus Negative (virus free)).
- Almost nobody does disclose. It is too dangerous. People will attack you if you disclose after all you have done is wash a dish they ate off, gave them a glass of water or a back rub.
- It discourages people from getting tested and treated. If they don’t know their status, they cannot be expected to disclose. Once they have been treated, they are much less likely to spread the disease.
- If someone has unprotected sex with a stranger, they either already have HIV or very soon will. It is their choice, not their partner’s.
Hockey coaches have the power to block teens from playing. They can use this power to extract sexual favours. The players need to know there is an ombudsman they can go to who will properly investigate their complaints and who have the power to dismiss to coach. Further, we should not let players get away with playing victim, as though they no ability to stop what was happening. That view disempowers the next generation of kids.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tim Torkildson wrote an essay about homophones, words that sound the same but have different meaning. Clarke Woodger, the Mormon owner of Nomen Global Language Center fired him for writing about homosexuals. He apparently did not read either the dictionary or the essay. He did not need to. He said that just the title of the essay was guaranteed to be controversial. What a homophobic nincompoop. It reminds be of Groucho Marx interviewing a woman on his quiz show You Bet Your Life. He gave her a list of words and asked her which ones were dirty. She decided that thespian was dirty.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70) source
The most vicious homophobic bigot denies his bigotry. They believe that somehow denying the right to marry or adopt children to Jews or blacks is fundamentally different from denying those same rights to gays. He forgets that the prejudice against blacks too was justified by scripture just as cherry picking the old testament is used today to justify fag-bashing and bullying frail children. If these bigots actually read Leviticus, they would discover Leviticus hated nearly everyone and wanted people stoned to death for even the most trivial crimes, not just gays. Leviticus justifies nothing. Further, there is zero evidence the creator of the universe had anything whatsoever to do with writing it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Consider wolf packs. Only the alpha male and alpha female breed. Everyone else in the pack helps rear the pups. To avoid conception, they enjoy homosexual sex. This is just one of the many incidences of animal homosexuality. Against nature? Homosexuality and evolution~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If Tiger Woods had his adulteries with males, it is highly unlikely any scandal would ever have broken. If you are gay, you simply don’t publicly talk about whom you had sex with. Doing so would be unforgivable. You would find yourself universally ostracised and despised. Sex is nobody else’s business but the participants. To gay people, the way straights gossip about and interfere in the sex lives of others is revolting.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Homosexuality Improves Vision
As a gay man, the insanity of men, their testosterone-fueled crudity, their cruelty, their rapes and their mindless wars is clearer to me than to standard issue men.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think the horniest I have ever been in my life was as a virgin at 15. For my dad, it was age 13. We are cruel to teens by trying to pretend they are children without any sexual desire, treating as rapists anyone they manage to seduce.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is illegal to discriminate on the basis of religion or sexual orientation. But it is perfectly legal to discriminate against bigots. They are not a protected class. So go ahead, hound the homophobes to within an inch of the law.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How To Create A Gay Child
Starting as soon as I could talk, my mom repeatedly instructed me that under no circumstance must I ever put my penis in a vagina because soon thereafter a baby would pop out. Not knowing any better, I believed her. I trusted that even at age 2 I could father children and that every insertion invariably resulted in one baby, like a vending machine. I was unusually sexually active as a child. I spent most of my free time seducing other children, both male and female. It was a game for me. It was challenge to seduce older boys. It was a challenge to get my partner to totally disrobe before I had taken anything off. However, I never once but my penis anywhere near a vagina. The very idea was disgusting and nauseating. This conditioning persisted my entire life. As you might expect, I grew up to be gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How To Find A Lover
If you don’t have a boyfriend and you want one, there are three basic things you can do:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Lower your standards.
- Raise your own status, e.g. go to a gym.
- Socialise with candidates in a low pressure situation, e.g. hiking club.
How to Get Depressed Quickly
One of the fastest ways to get depressed is to ask yourself a question like Why did X get to have a handsome partner and I didn’t.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How is Heterosex Possible?
Given that having an orgasm inside a female is like throwing a pair of dice and if you throw a natural, you are forced to sign a contract agreeing to feed, house, educate and in all ways support another human being for 18 years, I find it astonishing that anyone ever does it, or that anyone even can do it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How It Is
Straight men often assume that gay males react to females the same way they do, but out of some sort of prudery reject the attraction. It is not like that. To a gay male, a flash of female crotch or a whiff of crotch scent brings on a wave of nausea.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How To Remain a Virgin
The easiest way to remain a virgin is to flip for a guy who is not interested in you sexually, but is friendly and to convince yourself it is him or no one.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How Sex Changed
I have reached the age where the people I can attract are not sufficiently appealing to consider as sexual partners. Sex now seems comic, obsessive and insanely repetitive.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How Sexual Selection Changed
What is different in the modern world from the conditions under which we evolved that affects sexual selection?
- Women can now raise children without male help given government aid.
- Men who are wealthy can now help raise children even when they are absent or dead.
- Working women now have less time to care for their children. To properly care for their children, they need money to pay others to supervise their children.
- Birth control now means mainly people who want children have them.
I think this means handsome male promiscuous charmers and wealthy older men will rise in perceived attractiveness. Women who like children will become more desirable than women who like sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How Straights Look to Gays
As an out gay person, I have put up with so much shit from straight people. The most ignorant, fat, unwashed, heterosexual slob imagines his worth is infinitely greater than mine. He gets his jollies jeering at me and threatening to kill me. Consider what it must be like for the outer philias (unusual sexual attractions) that are far more rare than being gay. They get even more shit dumped on them just for being what they are. Their deepest desires are often criminalised. They are expected to forgo sex entirely for their entire lives. They are much more alone. It must be a truly miserable lot being saddled with one of the outer philias. They did not choose it any more than I chose to be gay. I for one, am going to use my head rather than my prejudices to try to avoid dumping on them and I will do my best to protect them from bullying straights. Some people feel a need to hurt others for their sexual gratification. Obviously I don’t want anyone hurt (unless they want to be), but, I also don’t want to make life unnecessarily miserable for even them by interfering with their fantasy lives. I am revolted by the self-righteous Christians to gratuitously make life miserable for anyone not like them. They did not choose or strive to be heterosexual (or Christian for that matter). They have no right to be so damn proud of it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How to Tell You are Getting Old
When you are younger, it is most important that others want to have sex with you. When you are older, it is most important that others agree with you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How Will He Treat You?
Find out how your guy treats his past lovers and friends. That is how he will treat you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How Women Make Themselves Repulsive
Some of the things women do to appear sexually appealing I find utterly baffling and completely offputting. This includes pretending to be retarded, smearing red-tinted margarine on their lips, wearing shoes that make them hobble, covering their skin in concoctions that dry to a rubbery film, covering their skin in powders, talking in a high-pitched squeaky voice, removing their eyebrows and painting on artificial ones in unnatural places and shapes, dousing themselves in chemicals that attack the nose like an ice pick, inserting bags of slime inside their breasts, sharpening their noses to chipmunk-like points, piercing holes in noses, lips, ears, tongues, eyebrows…~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How Women Sabotage Themselves
Straight women usually sabotage themselves. How can you take someone seriously, painted like a clown, with a faddish hairstyle stolen from the Westminster Dog Show, shoes designed by the Marquis de Sade, accessorised like a Christmas tree and clothes so constraining the poor woman cannot even bend over? Rebel!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You never see a male animal (other than a human) seeking a mate by pining over a potential partner who has repeatedly rejected him, or utterly discouraged because the only one possible soul mate for him is unavailable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why do males want to have a 30.48 cm (12 in) penis? They imagine it would guarantee them sex, love and companionship no matter how badly they behaved.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I Spit on Christian Bigots
I feel impotent rage that Christian homophobic bigots tormented Tchaikovsky.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Ick Factor
Homophobes often justify denying gays civil rights or even killing them by noting that they feel icky when they imagine homosexual sex.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Whether gays have sex or not, the homophobes are going to continue to feel icky because they are triggering the ick with their own imagination, not by viewing gay sex.
- Lots of things make me feel icky: slaughtering animals, hunting, eating brains, eating organ meats, eating intestines, straight sex, large breasts… As long as people don’t try to make me indulge in these things, I have no right to stop others from indulging, purely to protect me from ick. Similarly you have no right to control by life.
- Gay people are careful to keep straights from ever seeing them have sex. Straight people are not. Straight sex screams from every billboard, advertisement, TV show and movie. Young straight couples have sex all the time in full public view. Gay people are doing their best to protect you from feeling icky, but you rudely do not return the favour.
You’d think maintaining ideal weight would be a snap.
- See what it feels like when you are starving.
- See what it feels like when you are stuffed.
- The ideal feeling to aim for is somewhere in between.
- Pick an intermediate feeling and aim for it.
- If you tend to lose weight over time, aim for something more stuffed.
- If you tend to gain weight over time, or stick at a high weight, aim for something more lean.
But it isn’t a snap. The problem is your Paleolithic programming commands you to pack on the pounds any chance you get. It figures almost for certain there will be stretches of no food coming up. So it seems to me, your only hope is to avoid buying more food that you need to maintain optimum weight. You are going to gobble up whatever is available.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Ideal Woman
The ideal woman likes to watch football, go camping, hunting and fishing, play sports and hang out with the guys without jealousy. Wouldn’t straight men be happier with a same-sex partner? someone who shared interests?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If He Came Back
You wish your lover who dumped you would come back? Really? They would treat you the way they did just before they dumped you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If Hitler Prevailed
Imagine if Hitler had prevailed. People would be mindlessly persecuting Jews, imagining it was the virtuous thing to do. That is exactly what happened when the Catholic church prevailed and sold the planet on its irrational hatred of gay people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If the Tables Were Turned
Could you imagine how outrageous it would be if gays started using violence and threats of violence to bully straight people to passing 24/7 as gay claiming the reason for this new rule was god made us do it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If You Have Been Dumped
You may be suffering like you never have before, pining for your ex. Consider that in 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years you will say to yourself Why or earth did I get involved with that guy? I had plenty of warning it would end this way. At least we had a good time while it lasted.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If You Like Extroverts
If you are attracted to an extroverted guy who flirts with everyone, you have two choices:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- If you don’t like your guy flirting, pursue someone else.
- Appreciate the social advantages of having a lover who flirts with everyone, whom everyone likes.
If You Were Dumped
No animal but a human when rejected would dream of doing anything but getting back in the game without missing a beat. If you bit into what looked like an unusually good apple, to find it was rotten, you would not swear off apples for the rest of your life. You would just be more careful. I harp on this because I created so much needless misery for myself and wasted so many years of my life by handling being dumped unusually badly. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Ignoring the First Stone
Drunk driving and drinking harm someone. Homosexuality does not hurt anyone. Promiscuity does, but they are not the same thing. I find heterosexuality very gross, especially the way it is promoted so strongly in public. Gay people generally keep their sex lives private. Just because you find it disgusting does not mean you have a right to interfere in activities that you don’t even see, any more than I have the right to censor your bedroom behaviour.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In Alabama, it is illegal to own a vibrator. It was also illegal in Texas prior to 2008-02-12.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When I look at a group of beautiful young dancers, actors, musicians or porn stars I cannot help but think how quickly (it will seem like mere weeks) they will become just as decrepit as I am.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How can you tell if a male is gay? Gay males will do imitations of the voices of others without implied condemnation. When straight males do them, they always imply contempt.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Importance of Futile Gestures
I started my career in gay lib when I had zero support. Even all the gay people were opposed to me. I knew my opposition to 4000 years of religious bigotry was utterly futile, but I was just fed up and felt I compelled to protest simply to express my outrage at their endless lies and cruelty. Today the world has changed well beyond my wildest dreams. Rosa Parks defied a nation because her feet hurt, not because she imagined she could change anyone’s mind. Gandhi hammered the idea over an over that your action may be utterly impotent and futile, but it is nonetheless exceedingly important. You have to act because it feels good to act not because you can see it taking you a significant step toward your goal. Otherwise you will be paralysed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Importance of Your Looks
The longer you have been dead, the less people care how good you looked.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It such an important lesson they teach it in fairly tales. Pick your spouse to be easy to get along with not just to look good.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I wince when a straight outdoorsman flips for a shopoholic straight female. If they partner up, they will make each other’s life hell. They would each do so much better with a same sex companion who enjoys the same activities.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Today if you catch HIV and it is detected early, there is almost no chance you will die if you live in British Columbia.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Improved Treatment of Children
Even as recently as the 1970s, mothers were quite cruel to the their children. They smacked them, shouted at them, jerked their arms, watched for tiny infractions to punish… Today, that just does not happen, at least in my neighbourhood. Parents are so patient with their children. In turn, the children seem to be giddy with happiness from just a ride on a swing.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In Praise of H₂O₂
Hydrogen peroxide is what the body creates naturally to repel invaders. It will kill bacteria in your mouth, bleach your teeth, disinfect your butt, clean cuts… It is cheap, but amazing stuff. Don’t buy a big bottle since it deteriorates with time. It is basically super-oxygenated water, so is much less toxic than other disinfectants.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In Praise of Porn
Most people are quite contemptuous of porn stars. I think they are a noble profession. They allow people who would normally never get a chance to have sex with someone so desirable, to have a partial experience, all without risk of disease or emotional entanglement. Porn stars have a gift and they share it responsibly with tens of thousands of people. I think of their skill as similar to the ability to make music. It would be wrong not to share.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In Praise of the YMCA (Young Men’s Christian Association)
When I was eight, my parents enrolled me in the Summer Fun program at the YMCA. Each day we head off in a bus to some local nature spot for a day of adventure and games, or on rainy days to do arts and crafts and games in an auditorium. The staff were so nice to me. I still remember their names. No kids should be denied an experience like this just because somebody was gay or thought somebody else was gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Incompatibility of the Sexes
Men and women are always complaining about each other because they have such different needs in sex. Gay couples generally do not have this problem.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
How do you reconcile the fact that Americans freely have sex in front of millions on reality TV, but arrest a couple who have sex in the back seat of a car visible only to a single person with a flashlight?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Inconsistent Attitudes to Street Prostitution
Everyone complains about street prostitution, then in order to increase it, Christians insist the police crack down on modeling agencies and classified ads.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Increased Desirability With Age
The male moose proudly displays an ever larger rack of antlers with each passing year. It proves his genetic fitness and sexual desirability. The male human hides his signs of seniority with hair dye and a toupée. This is because younger human males are more desirable because they have more years in them to help raise the offspring. Male moose are not involved in rearing.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In India, parents sometimes sell their children as sex slaves. Nobody does anything to stop it. If I were an Indian citizen, my shame would be so deep, I would renounce my citizenship.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even though I am intellectually completely committed to gender equality, I notice that have trouble telling female characters apart in movies or TV dramas. They all just seem to blur into a single uninteresting stereotype female character. A few stand out, but they need to have something highly unusual about their look, voice or character. These distinctive females, I find quite fascinating. I don’t know how much this is me and how much the writers giving nearly all the interesting parts to men. I am especially befuddled if a character changes her hair colour or hair style.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even Justin Bieber will in 2050 be bald and wrinkled.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When soldiers take up rape as a weapon of war, they invariable rape children and infants as well. It is not just some of the soldiers. This suggests these desires live in the hearts of all soldiers, possibly even most heterosexual males.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pope Ratzinger pontificated that if one has HIV, one must not use a condom when having sex with one’s wife. Presumably the intent is to infect her with HIV, conceive a child and infect the child too with HIV. This reminds me of the story of Abraham getting the nutty idea is his head that god wanted him to sacrifice his son Isaac. Ratzinger is mad. He belongs in a cell for the criminally insane.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Intersexed people are approximately as common as red heads — 1 in 250. We just fail to notice them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
About 2.2% of live births are born with ambiguous genitals or none at all. Most have XY male chromosomes, but corrective surgery to female is easier, so most of the time these infants are made physically female even though they have male brains. As we get more comfortable with intersexed people, we may tend to leave infants alone, or insist surgery match chromosomes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Invisible To The Young
One of the more distressing aspects of being an old fart is the way you become invisible to young people. It is such a charge of delight when a young person flashes a smile.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Your teenage years are by far the horniest years of your life. Why do we insist on absolute celibacy then? I think it is a sort of hazing. Oldsters say, I had to suffer through abstinence in my teen years, so damned if the young generation are going to get off Scott free. In other words it is motivated primarily by spite and envy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Irrational Approach To HIV
The idiocy of humans knows no bounds when it comes to HIV :
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- They will strongly avoid hugging, touching, drinking a glass of water from, eating dishes washed by, or getting massage from someone HIV even though it is completely safe.
- They will have unprotected sex with strangers or share needles even though these are the fastest ways to get the disease.
- They trust complete strangers to inform them if they are infected, knowing full well that the most dangerous people (those not on treatment) do not even know their status.
- They will use wankie even though it creates cuts in the vagina wall to encourage HIV transmission both ways.
- They will rape virgins hoping to cure HIV, without any evidence it has ever worked.
- They claim HIV drugs are a hoax even though people with HIV are now surviving with the drug cocktails where before they nearly always died.
Irrational Fear of Gays
Gay people form a constant percentage of the population. Unlike a religion, they can’t sweep a population. Homosexuality is self-limiting. Yet ironically bigots fear that homosexuality will become universal far more than some religious or political ideology doing so.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It does not matter what the bible says about homosexuality, any more than what the Qur’an says or the Bhagavad Gita says. The constitution guarantees freedom of religion. Christians are not permitted to impose their religious superstitions on others. They have no more right to impose sanctions against gays than they have to force people to drink Jesus blood. The Christians have no conscience about ignoring the constitution and imposing their religion simply because they are the majority and can get away with it. The courts are corrupt to have let this slide so long.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It Is Not The Sensations
If it were purely a matter of physical sensations, all men would be gay. Explaining it to a child, you might say sex with women is like being gently tickled. Sex with men is like racing down a steep hill on a wagon. But sensations have almost nothing to do with it. You are swept along with overwhelming attractions to your same sex long before you have the foggiest idea what any physical sensations would be like.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It Won’t Get Any Worse
If your true love says he wants no further contact ever, has always hated you and faked every orgasm, the good news is, it won’t get any worse than this.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I object to IVF treatments being covered by public health insurance. Why?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- It encourages parents to have ego-babies, leaving orphans un-cared for.
- The children will inherit their parent’s fertility problems.
- It takes large amounts of public health care money away from people with actual diseases. It costs tens of thousands of dollars for each child.
- The world is at least eight times overpopulated. The last thing it needs is extra children.
I oppose IVF on a number of grounds.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- It costs tens of thousands of dollars for each child. The public health care budget would better be spent saving lives.
- It encourages parents to have ego-babies, leaving orphans un-cared for.
- The world as a whole is already grossly overpopulated, even if there are pockets with dwindling population.
- The generated children will inherit their parent’s fertility problems.
- Women may undergo the procedure who would never be considered qualified enough to adopt.
Jealousy is its own punishment.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Joy of the Hunt
When I was younger, I really, really liked having sex. However, I hated what I had to go through to get it. The hunt was so boring and so time consuming. I was so frustrated to discover that after even what I thought was a spectacular encounter, my partner never wanted to see me again. My ex, Ben, was completely different. For him, the hunt was everything. Once his intended quarry said yes, the game was for all practical purposes over.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The gays of BC owe their lives to Dr. Julio Montaner of the B.C. Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS. His policies have been the most successful in Canada for stopping the AIDS epidemic. He personally concocted the cocktails of drugs that have kept me alive since I contracted HIV back in 1985. HIV mutates rapidly and quickly develops immunity to any drug. Montaner pioneered the idea of using a cocktail of three drugs. It is much harder for HIV to develop immunity to three drugs simultaneously. He has reassured pretty well everyone in BC with HIV with his gentle Argentinian accent in his tiny unpretentious office.
Montaner has spoken out against draconian laws to punish people with HIV who have sex with others without telling them. There are a number of reasons why these Harperian laws are counter-productive and silly:
- People who have been tested and found out they have HIV, will be on retroviral drugs, which often reduce HIV to undetectable levels. They are quite low risk for transmission.
- People who are untested who have HIV, have high viral loads and are highly infectious. People who don’t know they have HIV are the ones most likely to give it to you. People will avoid getting tested if they suspect it may put them in jail for having sex. Anything that discourages testing spreads HIV.
- The existence of such laws creates a false sense of security. No matter what the law is, partners will not reveal HIV status. Further, the people who are most dangerous are those who do not know they have been infected. I have been to workshops for HIV + men where I was the only one there who ever revealed status except to close friends.
- In casual sex, people do not even exchange names, much less medical history. Each person is presumed responsible for their own protection.
- Revealing HIV status to strangers is dangerous. I have been threatened and attacked, even when there was no sex involved. People panic imagining just by being in the same room, I endangered them.
- There are all kinds of safe sex activities with very low risk of infection. HIV status is irrelevant.
- Each person must take personal responsibility for avoiding infection. They must treat every sex partner as infected. Even a person with a fresh negative test could still infect you. It can take up to six months for the HIV antibodies to show up. Such laws discourage taking personal responsibility.
If all goes well, Montaner will be put in charge of HIV for all of Canada then all of the world.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Jumping Through Hoops
As a student of biology I understand it, but as a gay man, I find it infuriating the way females make males jump through hoops, to gift, to please and to impress them. Further, I find it disgusting the way males acquiesce to this degrading game.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You will find your true love when you stop looking. Right! Try that when you can’t find your keys. No animal follows that advice.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There is an advantage to not being all that great at athletics as a child. As an adult, you are not as easily discouraged by waning ability. Further, if you were an outsider as a child, it does not bother you to be considered eccentric for traveling by bicycle instead of car.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Keeping Your Lover
If you want to keep your partner, you have to do little favours such as bringing coffee or tea, breakfast in bed, doing extra cleanup work, foot or back massage… Doing favours without being asked shows you hold them in high regard.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Key To Attractiveness
The main thing that attracts others to you is your willingness to love everyone. The main thing that drives people away is your need for others to love you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is time that somebody created a little keychain computer. You enter the risk factors and it computes the odds of pregnancy or HIV infection. If the device spun a simulated Russian roulette chamber based on the odds, stupid people would take it that in some magic way they were safe this time if the device came up safe that one time.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think possession of child pornography should be split into three different crimes:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- If somebody buys kiddie porn, they are effectively hiring others to kidnap and molest kids. This is the most serious form of possession. It is a more serious crime than we treat it now.
- If somebody finds or is given kiddie porn, they are not enriching pornographers. They are not contributing to harming children. If we penalise them, it is not because there is a victim, but because we find viewing such pornography disgusting and we wish to punish paedophiles for having such urges.
- If somebody possesses art work created from the imagination without a live child model, I don’t think this should be criminal, especially if the possessor of the pornography is the artist. This is close to a thought crime. There is no victim. Fantasy art is how I would encourage a paedophile would indulge his urges.
The Kinkiest Perversion
The kinkiest thing I have ever heard of is young men shaving off their hair and becoming willing slaves to abusive old men who order them to kill children and torture people, i.e. join the US military.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Lack of Shared Interests
There are not many activities that heterosexual males and females enjoy together besides sex. Married males are always complaining their wives won’t give them free time with their buddies for sports, hunting, fishing, drinking, hiking, tinkering with cars… Gay couples don’t have this problem.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Laverne Cox has appointed herself spokesperson for the entire transsexual community. Her message is bang on. However, she delivers it with a preposterously affected accent that screams, I am a silly shallow, self-absorbed, bitch not worth listening to, speaking a mile a minute, never taking breath or letting anyone else get a word in edgeways, as if even she did not consider her words worthy of attention, just trying to fill the air with her essence like some cat peeing on the chesterfield, using every self-loathing campy mannerism ever devised. She does far more net damage for the cause than good. Her same words, spoken in a more normal cadence could be so powerful.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Learning to Share
f you hook up with an extraordinarily handsome man, get used to the idea you won’t be able to hog him all to yourself. Why would you want to deny your wonderful guy some extra fun?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Male spiders, salmon and giant Australian cuttlefish end their lives with a bang. They lose their virginities in an orgy of spawning, gifting the next generation with their best genes and even the nutrients of their bodies. Some humans are similar. At the end, they try to spread the best ideas they have had or picked up over their lifetimes. They prepare gifts of ideas, money and chattels for the next generation.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Most of my life I have envied the young and handsome with their lives ahead of them. Now, I pity them. We have left them a world:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- bombarded by lies from corporations and churches 24/7 that have even tricked the people into allowing their planet to cook to death.
- run by a corrupt plutocracy who have concentrated wealth so the top 20% have 85% of the wealth.
- so polluted it is unsafe for pregnant women to eat freshwater fish anywhere in the USA.
- crawling with people who believe they have a God-given right to torture others, kill their children and steal their natural resources.
The Legal Right to Dump
People have the right to cut you off from all contact forever without any explanation. It is an unkind thing to do, but you have to accept it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Lemonade of Being Dumped
Being dumped unexpectedly is such a bitter experience, you have to work hard to see the lemonade. Possibilities?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- You are free of someone who is unusually inconsiderate. You future opens up to other companions who might be much kinder.
- You know what is like. You may be able to help people knocked suicidal by the experience.
- Thinking back, you could see the signs. This information will come in useful in future.
Less Knowledge, More Certainty
The fewer gay friends and acquaintances a bigot has, the more he is convinced he knows all there is to know about homosexuality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Letting Christian Bigots Off the Hook
If during a hate crime, a Jewish or black child were beaten to death and a crowd stood round, egging the attackers on, I think most people would want to find some way to charge the bystanders. Yet when Christians encourage violence on gays, everyone seems to think they have some holy right to do that from a distance.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Licence to Have Children
You must pass a drivers’ test before you can drive. You should have to prove you know how to care for infants and children and have the financial capability and a suitable dwelling to do so before you can have unprotected heterosexual sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Licence to Have Sex
You must pass a drivers’ test before you can drive. Surely you should have to prove your knowledge of reproduction and contraception before you are legally permitted to have sex. It would also act as id to enforce age of consent laws, which would become having sex without a licence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Lies of Fairy Stories
I read thousands of fairy tales as a child. They taught me two poisonous lies:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- There is only one person for you. If you persist, no matter what the obstacles, they will come back to you.
- Good deeds are always rewarded and bad ones always punished.
Like a Moth
To be attracted to physical beauty like a moth to a flame is one of the greatest misfortunes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Like a Moth
One of the most unfortunate things that can happen to you is to be strongly attracted to an abusive partner or ex. You are like a moth attracted by the light of a Bunsen burner flame, unable to use common sense to override the attraction. What is the fatal attraction? Perhaps beauty or a puckish personality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you find yourself painfully attracted to your ex, recall that you are attracted to your ex as they used to be, not as they are now. Chances are, now, they are insufferable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tracing a black line around the lips has to be one of the silliest fashion fads ever. It looks like a tracing line to help guide a child putting on lipstick. Makeup should in some way simulate health. This simulates disease.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If I had my life to live over again, I still doubt I could resist my ex’s charms, even if I knew all I know now about how much heartache would ensue.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Living with HIV
Living with HIV is like having a permanent case of diarrhoea and nausea while a swan decides to sit on you and hatch you. It is much less fun than you might think.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A Long-lasting Relationship
When selecting a partner, consider making a high priority the question, will they likely leave if I for any reason become less desirable than I am now?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even to his death, Senator Robert Byrd could live down his racist remarks he made in 1944. On 2010-02-03, Republican senators lined up to make disparaging remarks about gays in the debate over repealing don’t-ask-don’t-tell. I feel gratified to know that even 61 years years from now, if any of them are still alive, they will be paying for their past publicly expressed bigotry.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Longing for Immortality
I wonder what others species long to influence posterity, other than by having their genes spread widely in the species pool.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I notice that as I age, I don’t look back fondly on my past sexual adventures, as I imagined I would, but with increasing distaste. I think Whatever possessed me to get sexually involved with that person? How gross! This tendency may be the root of the habit of elderly people to try to suppress the sex lives of the young.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Lose Your Virginity, Early and Often
Conventional wisdom says it is a Good Thing™ to delay losing one’s virginity as long as possible, until marriage. Yet in my own experience the best adjusted people smoothly transitioned from child sex play to teenage sex play to adult sex play. Those who delayed, became either obsessed or inhibited about sex for the rest of their lives. Obviously, if an adult pushes himself sexually on someone prepubescent that will cause trauma. I am talking about sex/sex play among peers. It would be interesting to see a proper scientific study.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Losing Your Lover
When a lover leaves you it is not so much he is rejecting you as being attracted away by someone else. It is not the end of the world that you are not the world’s most attractive person.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Loss of Interest In Sex
The reasons older people appear much less interested in sex are:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- They are embarrassed about their decrepit bodies.
- Fellow oldsters, the population of possible sex partners, have little more appeal as sex partners than they do to anyone else.
- Hormones stop their relentless pushing.
- Embarrassment over performance.
Love and Hate
It is funny that you can be fatally attracted to someone that you would absolutely hate if you saw them as a character in a movie.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Love is Really Addiction
heard a piece of pop music from the 1970s. The emotions of the time came flooding back. I am so glad it is over. In youth it is nice having a body where everything works, but the emotions were so intense, it is a wonder I lived through it. What we usually call love should really be called addiction to a person.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the most destructive delusions is that your lover has not truly changed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Lusting After the UnattainableYou may have the misfortune of being strongly attracted to a physical type who has much higher status than you, e.g. better hung, younger, taller, handsomer, more athletic… These high status people won’t give you the time of day. How have other people handled this?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Techniques for dealing with addiction to a high status lover Technique Disadvantages Gifts of food, accommodation, money, travel, clothes… to compensate their partner for tolerating their lower status. As soon as the gifts stop, your lover leaves. You are not loved for yourself. As soon as a richer rival shows up, your lover is gone. Become famous. As soon as the fame wanes, your lover leaves. You are not loved for yourself. As soon as a more famous rival shows up, your lover is gone. Find a partner with the desired characteristic, but with some defect that lowers their overall status, e.g. older, blind or in a wheelchair. Such a person will likely still consider themselves to have much higher status than you. Convince yourself you don’t need these attractive attributes after all. A relationship with someone of equal status will be much less stressful. This is quite hard to do, but not impossible. See Living Love Methods for how to do it. This is my personal approach. You can monitor your progress by googling the names of older actors. Google will show you pictures of them at a wide variety of ages. The younger pictures will tend to appear bland and without uniqueness. The crags on older faces will tend to appear more interesting, suggesting depth and intelligence. It will also teach you than a fresh face only keeps for a few years.
Magnifying Statistical Differences
Bigots know that there is huge overlap in abilities of male/female, straight/gay, white/black. But they scrounge for tiny differences in averages to give them an excuse to ignore people’s actual abilities and treat some whole group as inferior.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If your lover was attracted to you because you were famous, you had better stay famous. If he was attracted because you were buff, you had better stay buff. If he was attracted because you liked having sex three times a day, you had better keep having sex three times a day. If he was attracted because you were rich, you had better stay rich. Relationships have to work on this mundane level too. Don’t coast.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Majority Bigotry Is No Excuse To Deny Rights
Republicans argue that gays should not have equal rights because there are a large number of bigoted Christians (no longer a majority) who think rights should be denied. They forget that it was not that long ago when a large number of bigoted Christians voted to deny black people equal civil rights for similar religious reasons. Back then the supreme court correctly interpreted the constitution to say that everyone deserves equal rights. You cannot not deny some group equality just because of majority bigotry. Further, you can’t go imposing religious superstition in law, no matter how high a percentage of the population believe it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Make Up Your Minds!
Christians to everything they can to block gay men from living in monogamous couples, then chastise them for having a higher HIV rate. What mean-spirited people!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Makeup is the American hijab.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We would think it very odd if a man wore makeup to disguise his appearance whenever he appeared in public, yet we demand that very behaviour of women.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Male Dominance In Politics
We have gone 69 years with both sides sabotaging the peace process in Palestine. American president Harry Truman used the atomic bomb just out of spite. Ronald Reagan and Barack Obama each risked nuclear war for relatively minor gains. They all come by this behaviour honestly. Males of all species compete for the attentions of females. They can’t help but fight with each other for dominance. The people who rise in political leadership are the most dominant. They are like human pit bulls. (It is also why they have so much trouble with sex scandals. That is just the nature of alpha males.) This suggests we won’t have world peace until male dominance of politics is overthrown.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Male animals tend to be territorial, especially male humans. It is not only my house, my car, but my country, my political party, my church, my favourite movies, my skin colour, my sports team… If you have anything less than extravagant praise for these extensions of himself, he feels personally attacked.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gender rôle s in household chores are relaxing. Mixed gender couples are now more likely to share or rotate tasks. However, there are still some tasks reserved exclusively for males such as:
- Changing the toilet paper roll.
- Anything to do with the toilet.
- Taking out the garbage.
- Sharpening knives.
- Cutting the lawn.
- Changing light bulbs.
Exclusively female tasks include:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Spraying room freshener.
- Buying stuff at the dollar store.
- Ensuring everyone takes their vitamins and medications.
Males Appealing to Males
Its amusing that the derring-do of screen heroes appeals more to the boys than the girls.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you see a man with a ban bun, what message is he trying to say? Perhaps I am only interested in sex with fat males with man buns like me. I have stage 1 narcissism.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Mandatory HIV Disclosure
Canadians are debating whether they should put people in jail who fail to disclose their HIV status to their sexual partners. I argue this is unfair, discriminatory and counter productive.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- At least be consistent. If you are going to prosecute for not revealing status, you should jail parents who refuse to vaccinate their kids. Also prosecute people who travel on busses with airborne diseases, or anyone else who actions endanger the health of others. Why just single out HIV ?
- Revealing HIV status can be dangerous. Ignorant people will attack you when you reveal your HIV+ status even if you have done nothing whatsoever to endanger them. They are afraid of water you poured, dishes you washed, getting a hug, getting a massage… They are even afraid to be in the same room. It is a bit much to make laws demanding people endanger themselves. Insisting on revealing will convince people not to get tested, bad news all round. We need some serious education to reduce the danger of revealing.
- The crazy thing is straight people have unprotected sex all the time, thinking they are immune. Young females are the fastest growing group getting infected. They figure if they have not got it so far, they must be safe. However, it is one strike and you are out. Having unprotected sex with strangers is the problem, not having protected sex with someone with HIV.
- People test negative and think they are safe. It can take 6 months for infection to show up on a test.
The best ways to prevent HIV are:
- safe sex
- limiting your partners
- taking Truvada prophylaxis.
The worst ways are:
- trusting your partner to warn you. The most dangerous people don’t know they are HIV+. They have the highest viral loads since they are not taking retrovirals. If you rely on your partners to warn you, almost certainly, you will have HIV+ within a year if you are sexually active.
- The ironic problem with a disclosure law, is it creates a false sense of security. People foolishly depend even more on disclosure, even though it almost completely ineffective.
- If you have been tested HIV+, there is a good chance you will be taking an antiretroviral cocktail. If all goes well, this will reduce your viral load to undetectable levels. In other words, it is quite unlikely you will pass on HIV. On the other hand, an untested person who is HIV+, will not be taking antiretrovirals. They will have a high viral load, and especially with the wild infectious strain. They are very likely to pass HIV.
- The practical assumption in the gay world is, if anyone has unprotected sex, they are already HIV+ or plan to soon be. Each person is responsible for his own health and safe sex practices. Relying on strangers is fool-hardy.
- I went to an HIV support group. I was the only one there in favour of disclosure. Keep that in mind if you are relying on strangers to warn you.
- Everything I have said applies primarily to one-time casual encounters. For marriages, and long term relationships, I think partners are under much greater obligation to disclose.
- In summary, punishing HIV+ people for failure to disclose has almost nothing to do with reducing the transmission of HIV. It is all about religious homophobia. It is a fig-leaf excuse to persecute homosexuals.
It is much easier to increase homophobia than reduce it, especially if the gay people are closeted. If the people think they have never met a gay person they, will easily believe any lie about them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Marriage is about love, public vows of commitment, legal obligations and mutual support. Christian bigots think it is all about sexual plumbing and baby making.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Marriage as Roommate
Marriages would last much longer if people approached them as selecting a lifetime roommate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Marrying a Bimbo
When men marry bimbos what are they thinking? Have they thought even for a second what life chained to a drooling idiot with a squeaky voice would be like?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is amazing how much effort and worry teens put into hiding the fact they are horny and masturbate. Their parents would be concerned and take them to a doctor if they weren’t.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Matching Closet Numbers
When you consider becoming lovers with someone, check out how far into the closet you both are. It can be a terrible source of tension if you don’t match.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think part of the embarrassment and shame a mother sometimes feels when her son comes out as gay is caused by worrying that others will condemn her as an abusive mother who poisoned her son against all women. Ditto for fathers and lesbian daughters.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Meaning of paedophile
The word paedophile means literally child-liker. What an inappropriate term for someone who terrorisms, traumatize, rapes and kills children! It is also odd that when soldiers commit this crime, we call them freedom fighters instead of paedophiles.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If some cared equally for their own well being as yours, I would call that 100% love. If they did not care at all, that would be 0% love. Love above 100% is possible.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Imagine a withdrawn child learning all he knows about interpersonal relations from TV. Part of what he sees is exaggerated just to make it not so boring, but the rest is modified to suit somebody’s quirky agenda. How are gays portrayed compared with the way they actually are, teens, the elderly, immigrants…?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Megadoses of Cheese
In 1909 the average American consumed 1.81 kg (4 lbs) of cheese a year. With marketing by the dairy industry, help from the US federal government to stimulate cheese craving and subsidies from the US federal government this had risen to 14.51 kg (32 lbs) a year. This is not a good thing. Cheese is 35% artery-clogging fat. These are just the averages. Some people are committing suicide with megadoses of cheese.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70) Forks Over Knives
You rarely see two men dancing, unless they are pretending to hit each other with sticks.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If it were not for cacophonous music, silly clothing styles, faddish hair styles, tattoos and idiotic ways of speaking, the young would be fatally attractive to the elderly. The young are unconsciously merciful.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The advantages of using a midwife are:
- You are comfortable in your home.
- It is quiet.
- The midwife behaves more like a friend.
- You can keep the lighting dim.
The advantages of using a doctor are:
- The doctor can handle births that go wrong, not just normal births.
- The doctor has access to an operating room to do an emergency C section.
I advocate merging the two to get the benefits of both. Add home-like birthing rooms to the hospital. If the midwife gets in trouble, a doctor with the full hospital facilities is right there to step in.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the least effective ways of projecting sexiness is to mispronounce words.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California, called for withdrawing existing civil rights from gays, making them second class citizens. She then characterised any criticism of her religiously-motivated bigoted views as a denial of her constitutional right of free speech. She seems to think freedom of speech means the right to suppress others’ criticism. Does she not realise that had she made similar controversial remarks advocating the withdrawal of civil rights from blacks or women, she would similarly have been deluged with virtual vegetables? The woman is too vacuous to realise she is a bigot.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Mistaking A Good Partner
If your partner dumps you with unnecessary cruelty, it is not nearly as bad a thing as it feels. Had they stayed, they would have made your life increasingly miserable. They are not a suitable partner for you or anyone else until they grow up. They had some of the characteristics of a good partner and you filled in the blanks with wonderfulness that was not really there.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There is something psychotic about males who are attracted to prostitutes, use their services, then rail against them and treat them with disdain. Could you imagine men treating their barbers that way?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Mixed Attractiveness Signals
The most disturbing people are the ones that give out mixed attractiveness symbols, e.g. a gym bunny with one of those wispy little beards artfully carved like a topiary bush, or someone with a flawless complexion and a giant mole or filled-to-bursting pimple, a someone with a beautiful face and a voice that could strip paint.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The expiration of don’t ask don’t tell is a mixed blessing. As it was, a gay soldier (or even a straight one) having an attack of conscience could leave the military just by saying I’m a ho-mo-sex-ual. He didn’t even have to submit to a blow job, just the stigma.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Given that men and women have such different taste in housing, furnishings, recreation, entertainment, music, clothing… it is amazing that mixed sex marriages ever work.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even today in movies, if a male thinks some other male has come onto them and they are not interested, they usually react with horror, violence or verbal abuse. People copy the behaviours they see in movies, so they also need to see modeled a polite decline such as Sorry, you are not my type. I prefer women.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Prostitutes are increasingly sex slaves. They are kidnapped and gang raped to introduce them to the trade. If you use the services of such a prostitute, you are effectively hiring her/his captors to kidnap, gang rape and enslave them. Your crime is much more serious than you suppose.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The notion of ritual untouchability is still used to discriminate against a caste in India and against blacks and gays in the USA. When the military decided to stop discriminating against blacks it told bigots to shape up or ship out. However, when it decided to drop DADT, it gave the option to religious bigots (chaplains) to continue discrimination against gays.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Mom’s a Bitch
If your mom is a bitch, that’s her problem. It doesn’t have to ruin your life. Become your own parent or find a surrogate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If monogamy is important to you, pick a physically unattractive partner.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is ridiculous to expect men to be monogamous for a lifetime when they can’t even use the same porn more than once.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Monogamy Isn’t Really
What passes for monogamous virtue is actually just lack of opportunity. Fat, bald men don’t get propositions from the young and beautiful. We don’t expect monogamy from rock stars, movies actors or handsome princes. We should similarly not expect it from trim, handsome husbands (gay or straight). It is simply one of the unavoidable disadvantages of having a universally attractive spouse.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Monogamy is Unnatural
Asking a male to be monogamous is like asking him to pick one colour of the rainbow and forgo the rest.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Most Appealing Dress
The most universally appealing clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry and adornment is nothing at all.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Most Important Feature of Males
The most important thing women need to know about men is that the male ego extends to cover everything he endorses, either explicitly or implicitly. In other words, when you are less than enthusiastic about something a male recommends, or the car he drives, or the cellphone service he chose…, he takes this as a personal insult.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Most Important Life Skill
The most important life skill is being dumped with equanimity.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Most Overrated Thing
Romantic love is the most overrated thing. Why?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- It disappears in a puff of smoke without warning.
- Chemically, it is addiction to a drug called PEA, which your brain produces. It is related to cocaine. You become addicted to it, and suffer terrible withdrawal.
- Unlike other forms of affection, it can turn on a dime from 100% positive to 100% negative for no apparent reason.
- It makes you behave irrationally including attraction to unsuitable partners.
- It makes you blind to harm your beloved is doing to you.
Motivation for Hunting
A hunter tracks his quarry to cause them pain and kill them. A soldier hunts humans because he too likes causing pain and killing. The promiscuous gay man hunts his quarry to give them pleasure. Oddly, soldiers are most often honoured and gays the most often reviled.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Motivation of the Gay Bashers
Whom do gay bashers think they are fooling? The only parts of the bible they read are about homosexuality. They prefer the company of athletic young males to female company and they stalk gay males to shout at them about the evils of homosexuality, then beat them for transgressing the sin they so wish to commit themselves.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Motivations for Adultery
Women and men create so much trouble for themselves by imagining the other gender looks on sex outside marriage the same way. Women stray because they find their husband wanting and are fishing about for a better one. Men stray because they don’t want to waste the opportunity for a little extra fun.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Motivations to Pair
When young people seek a mate, they are primarily looking for an exciting sex partner. When parents arrange marriages for their children, they are at least considering long term compatibility.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Motive For Rape
If you study natural selection, you might think rape is a strategy for low status males to impregnate females. Yet rapists use condoms. If they did not they could be identified by DNA, so rarely are they going to impregnate. Further, rapists are often very handsome athletic men. They would have no problem finding consenting females. It seems the resistance is what turns them on.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you pick a sufficiently mousy male partner, is it within the realm of possibility he will never have sex with anyone else. If you dump him just because he does a few times, you are an idiot and further you do not deserve him. You deny him even that tiny bit of excitement.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A bacterium that lives on a tooth leads a fairly cushy life. All such a parasite has to do is hold on and the host (you) will bring it food several times a day. One of the reasons bad breath from infection from mouth bacteria is such a sexual turn off is that it is a sign of a weak immune system. A sweet-smelling mouth means genetic fitness. Even if you knock the bacteria out completely, they will be back within 12 hours. That is why you need to brush both morning and night to stay fully on top of them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Movie Depictions of Teen Females
In the movies, teenage girls are often portrayed as cruel, manipulative, selfish, conceited and malicious. As a gay male, I am always astounded that anyone will go anywhere near them. They are as endearing as the ant queen in Alien.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexual relationships in the movies are usually so shallow, they seem to be more a like a fetish a man has for a sex doll. They are revolting.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Murder of Larry King
On 2008-02-12, 14-year-old Brandon McInerney shot and killed 15-year-old Larry King (no relation to the CNN (Cable News Network) interviewer). King had publicly asked McInerney to be his valentine the day before. School mates mercilessly teased McInerney. King had come out at age 10. He was very effeminate. He might have been transgendered or a drag queen since he liked to wear female clothing and makeup. McInerney could have simply said No, dismissed him with Fuck Off! or he could have beat King up, but instead he decided to murder him in cold blood. Why? I can only speculate:
- McInerney was gay himself, and King was blowing his cover.
- McInerney felt insulted that King thought he too might be gay.
- King had humiliated McInerney in front of his friends.
- McInerney had a Christian upbringing, and felt it was his duty to kill gay people.
- McInerney was steeped in Hollywood culture. Shooting was the expected response to humiliation.
The result of this rash decision was being stuck in jail for 25 years where he will likely be subjected to repeated rape.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70) source
Shereen El Feki, the author of Sex and the Citadel tells a story of young Muslim man who went to his imam for advice on what to do about being gay. The imam gave him a four hour lecture the evils of male-male sex, then had sex with him. Islam makes a very strong difference between what you profess in public and what you do in private. As a Muslim you have a lot of latitude, so long as you are discreet. Many Muslims have male-male sex, but do not consider themselves gay. You are not gay unless you refuse women. Male-male sex is a second choice that is easier to get.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Must A Church Fall On Him?
In Brokeback Mountain the hero is killed by gay bashers. In Dream Boy the hero is killed by a gay basher. In Ignorant Fairies the boyfriend dies. Is there some sort of Hollywood rule that a gay hero has to be killed?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Cute twinks sometimes like to spit on trolls not realising that they too will soon become a troll and those trolls just a few years ago were cute twinks too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Nature vs Nurture
A study in Sweden of 3500 twins found that homosexuality is 37% inherited and 63% caused by environmental factors.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are a gay person and your nurse or doctor wears a crucifix, they might as well be wearing a swastika. The crucifix means You deserve to die.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Necessity of Hormones
Hormones proved necessary because people had too much common sense to get involved with someone of the opposite gender.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
People feel obligated to commit to 100% monogamy, even when that is not what either really wants. That is a recipe for disaster. It is not so much the infidelity as the breaking of a promise that hurts relationships. Prior to gay marriage, most gay couples did not promise 100% fidelity. They allowed a little wiggle room. You simply did not find gay couples splitting up over a simple adultery.
I interviewed a gay couple years ago. The younger one was permitted sex with other young people, but not with anyone his own age or older. His older lover found this acceptable and not a threat to his security.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are a child, when dealing with bullies, first try all the politically correct means. However, the only thing I ever found that worked was plotting to put one of the bullies at a time in the hospital, entrapping him into attacking me when he was alone, and injuring him so badly he became afraid of me. When dealing with bullies, there is no need to fight fair.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I’d like it if English had some verbs for the following:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Speaking in an affected voice (e.g. valley girl accent or Bronx accent) to make it seem that you are considerably less intelligent than you are, masquerading as an airhead perhaps making Nelly to honour Nelly Furtado.
- Using body language that says I am beautiful and you are not and that is the only thing I ever think about. This is a combination of vanity, conceit and obsession with triviality, perhaps something in Latin that means self-worshiper, something like suicultist.
- Acting as if you believed you knew better than others how they should run their private lives and that you had some divine authority to override their decisions. This is an extreme form of busybody. Perhaps we could recycle termagant.
- Refusal to acknowledge that you have completely different rules for you/your team than you have for others. This is an extreme form of a double standard perhaps a disjoint standard
Nikee Steinhoff is a Christian mother of four who thinks that gives her the right to dictate to others how to run their lives. I detest her. I hope a church falls on her.
The sex education in her daughters’ school is optional. That was not good enough for Nikee. She insisted it not be available to any students whether their parents wanted it or not. To my amazement she managed to convince many of the other parents, mostly the Muslims, to join her protest by shutting down the school entirely.
What are her objections?
- She wants only abstinence taught. Science has shown that doing that is worse than no education at all for preventing pregnancies and STDs. She does not care. Christians have faith in its efficacy despite the evidence.
- She wants students kept in the dark about masturbation. That way when they find out about it for themselves, they will be terrified — a fitting Christian punishment.
- She wants students kept in the dark about the existence of same sex parents and transgendered children. This way when children encounter them, it ensures maximum bigotry.
- She wants students kept in the dark about condoms.
- I presume she wants to keep menstruation under wraps too because the bible thinks it is icky, and it might encourage young girls to do it.
- Her naïve theory is if you tell children nothing, they will learn nothing from other children, the Internet, porn sites… and will never have questions or think about sex. Children will do exactly as you would prefer them to without being asked.
Her goal is to see that not only her own daughters, but their playmates grow up to be meddling bigots.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70) source source source source
No Child Brides
There is a village in India now free of child brides. This is a result of work by Plan Canada. It works with sponsorships from Canadians.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
No Explanation Required
No matter how strangely a person behaves, no matter how out of character, they are not required by law to explain themselves to family, friends or lovers. In fact, if someone persists in asking, the law may punish them as a stalker.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
No Interests In Common
To be strongly attracted to someone who shares no interests is one of the greatest misfortunes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
NOSEY-TYJ (No Offensive Sexuality Ennywhere, Thank You Jesus!) is a Christian family values group interesting in censoring anything that would promote homosexuality or let the young find out gays exist e.g.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, makers of Chubby-Hubby and Hubby-Hubby flavours of ice cream.
- The Flintstones who sing about having a gay old time
- Cary Grant for his gay scene in Bringing Up Baby
- the carol Deck the Halls for its reference to donning gay apparel.
- Stephen Foster’s Old Black Joe with the hearts young and gay.
- The nursery rhyme Ride a Cock Horse to Banbury Cross.
- All the episodes of I Love Lucy featuring Lucille Ball.
- Jerry Lee Lewis’ Great Balls of Fire.
- The adventures of The Lone Ranger and Tonto, Wild Bill Hickock and Jingles, The Rifleman (a single father), The Cisco Kid and Pancho, Batman and Robin, Bert and Ernie.
- Any movie with a gay character or a gay actor e.g. Cabaret, Harry Potter series, Star Trek series, Frasier, The Simpsons, Don’t Eat the Daisies.
Not To Freak Out
If your partner went down a waterslide with someone else, or played tennis, or went to an exciting 3D movie, very unlikely you would become petulant and end the relationship. But sex? The strong monogamy taboo was to prevent disease and unwanted children. With condoms and other contraception, sex is really just another exciting activity. There is no need to freak out over it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Nothing in Common
Heterosexuals are so weird. They pair up with partners who have nothing in common with them and wonder why their marriages fail. There is nothing the two enjoy doing together. They have totally different ideas of what is important. Men consider a woman who likes outdoor activities and spectator sports a rare treasure.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The law is schizophrenic when it comes to gay bashing. The gay panic defence exonerates murder if the killer can show he was so freaked out by gay people that he lost control. Yet in the sentencing phrase, if the murder was motivated by hatred of a minority group, the sentence is made more severe.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you were gay in the 1970s, you had the choice of being either an outlaw or a rebel. Today you have the additional option of obedient consumer.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I saw a documentary about a gay bar in a small town in the southern USA. Almost everyone was grossly ( 45.36 kg (100 lbs) plus) overweight. This is an epidemic more disfiguring than HIV.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The obesity epidemic is growing so rapidly that even movie idols and people in commercials are also becoming tubbier year by year.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Obesity Epidemic
The USA has surpassed even ancient Rome as the fattest people in the history of the human race. Even performers are now grossly obese. Formerly they had to be ideals of beauty.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When parents teach their children to unconditionally obey authority figures, they can be setting them up for sexual abuse. Kids must be taught they have every right to rebuff the sexual advances of any adult, including clergy, coaches, teachers, doctors… and that it is completely safe to get help preventing a recurrence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Oh You Sexy Doll
Women spend thousands of dollars each year on cosmetics and treatments to give the illusion they don’t smile, frown or worry. They have bought the strange notion that appearing vacant is sexually alluring. They are trying to imitate a doll.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
OK to Stare
Movie actors don’t mind you staring at them awestruck at their beauty. You can study their every pore in slow motion DVD (Digital Video Disc) if you wanted. Ordinary, good looking people will glare angrily if you try to steal a glimpse of their perfection.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Older Generation Were Not Always Conservative
The young imagine that the older generation were always much more conservative than they and that the generation before that was even more conservative. They form this delusion because they never see the older generation as they were as teens.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Older Than Ethyl
There will come a horrible day when you realise you somehow became older than Ethel Mertz.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On Being Dumped
Even the world’s most attractive person might hold little interest for your ex. There is no shame it turned out you were not his type.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On Being Dumped
If you watch a romantic comedy, you laugh at the characters moping about as if the world ended become some pretty bobble headed male or female was not interested or has recently dumped the character. Yet somehow, when this exact same thing happens to you, it becomes a grave problem of the most serious kind.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On Being Dumped
When you are dumped, it can feel as if you are the first person in history to have this experience. How could your partner flip from adoring you to despising you overnight? Why is your partner dedicating so much effort to being as cruel as possible? This feels so awful, it cannot be real. But it turns out, this is quite normal behaviour for human beings. You need to learn about the experience of others, including straight people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On Best Behaviour
When you are courting, keep in mind whatever faults you detect in your partner will be magnified greatly later when they let their guard down.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On Getting Dumped
One problem with getting seriously and unexpectedly dumped, is you can never again relax. You are always waiting for it to happen again equally unexpectedly.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the Causes of Obesity
If you are overweight, you are not busy enough. Busy people don’t like to take the time to eat.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One More Thing To Worry About
Wishing you were better hung, better looking, more athletic or better at sports is not that different from admiring someone who is better hung, better looking, more athletic or better at sports which in turn is not that different from being gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One Screw = One Baby
When I was growing up, I was completely unaware of my parents’ sex life. I assumed they had sex once for each of my siblings and that was it. So why are Christians so worried about kids living in the homes of married same-sex couples? From the kid’s point of view, they have two moms or two dads, like the 50s sitcom My Three Sons. That is all there is to it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One True Love Fallacy
If you have bought into the myth one true love/soulmate and your beloved dumps you and cuts you off from all contact, consider that your true love would never dream of treating you that way. You were doubly mistaken.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- They were not your one and only.
- There are plenty of suitable partners out there, not just one. If there were only one, you would have no chance of finding them in the 7 billion occupants of earth.
Only In Dreams
As you get older, one by one the pleasures of youth are closed to you. Pretty well your only hope is learning to direct your dreams where you can enjoy even pleasures too outlandish for youthful reality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why do opposites attract? Why do incompatible people marry? They are attempting to improve the lot of their offspring my balancing out their own genetic shortcomings. They want to complete their skill set for child rearing. It does nothing for the relationship, however.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Oppressed by the Figures of Beauty
Letting yourself become so entranced by beauty that you are only sexually attracted to people much better looking than you are ranks up there with poking a stick into your eye as one of the most painful things you do to yourself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
People still visit Oscar Wilde’s grave in Paris, partly because they feel so bad his peers tormented him simply for being gay. By ganging up on him, they even managed to convince him he had done something wrong. It is hard to stand alone against the foolish opinions of the world. He has become a secular martyr.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When your lover dumps you, there is a tendency to do one of two stupid things:
- Put him on a pedestal and imagine he was the most wonderful human being who ever lived and thus you cannot possibly ever meet another his equal.
- Villainise him and berate yourself for being so stupid as to ever get involved with the world’s biggest bastard.
You may even flip back and forth between the two extreme views. The truth is he was just someone who on the surface looked compatible but was not. It is not worth the drama. Later you will laugh at yourself for making such a production.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Acting over-eager will put potential partners off, even if there is nothing else wrong with you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Overcoming Addiction to Beauty
To help weaken your thralldom to youth and beauty, check out recent photos on the Internet of the sexiest actors 20 years ago. That dazzling beauty is a transient gift.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Overreacting to Adultery
When I watch movies, there are always scenes of heterosexual couples breaking up simply because one partner or the other had sex, a little as once, with someone else. They destroy their wealth, companionship, their parental rôle all over nothing. I want to shake them for being so self-destructive and petty.
Gay people rarely make such a fuss. Why? They might look at it this way. Why would I want to deny my partner the fun of sex with a Chippendale dancer? I love him. I want him to enjoy himself. Why would I want him to be miserable and resentful of me for blocking this once in a lifetime thrill? It is not as though the Chippendale dancer is going to run off with my partner. I would hope my partner felt the same way if I ever got such a chance. As a fellow male, I fully understand how having the hots for the dancer means absolutely nothing about how he feels about me.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Overreacting to Trivia
Everybody masturbates and most people are unfaithful to their partners. Yet when a mate discovers an indiscretion, they create a scene as if they had uncovered an axe murder. What idiocy!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When I was younger, more than anything I wanted a long term relationship. No matter how beautiful my surroundings, it simply did not matter. It was like the sun of that desire outshone everything else. When I got older and that desire waned a bit, it made it more possible to enjoy subtler pleasures.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Overwhelming the Bigots
In most parts of the world, gay people are afraid to publicly show even 50% of the affection considered acceptable for straight people. They fear being jeered at, beaten up or even killed. The problem with this is, bigots rarely see same sex affection. When they do, they freak out. If they saw it every day, within a month, they would come to see it as not that big a deal. So we gays have it in our power to overwhelm the bigots if we but had more courage.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Paedophile Witch Hunts
Sometimes victims of paedophiles like to speak to the media calling for society or the law to crucify their attacker. They are consumed with hate, shame and anger. They can’t get on with their life until the attacker is destroyed. Usually, even that is not enough. When the event occurred when the victim was in his or her late teens, most likely something quite different was in play than when the victim was a child.
Here is what I think most often happens. Humans are horniest in their teens. They are willing participants in pretty well any sexual activity. They may seek out adults or anyone/anything else who will respond sexually.
However, a few years later they may come under the influence of Christians or other prudes who convince them what was did was the most disgraceful thing imaginable, worse even than torturing a child or killing a Muslim. They feel great shame and wish they had not indulged. Further, they still feel horny for much the same experiences, but they don’t want to admit it. This leads to self-loathing. They use one or more of their former sex partners as a scapegoat. Their new Christian friends urge them on in the witch hunt.
Teens believe in true love and unique soul mates. They often project onto their first sexual experience the expectation of a follow-on death-do-us-part relationship. When their older partner dumps them, they are shattered and resentful. They become easy pickings for Christians who offer them an illegitimate way to get even.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Paedophilia and Witchcraft
There are some disturbing parallels between public reaction to witchcraft and paedophilia.
Parallels between Witchcraft and paedophilia Parallels between Witchcraft and paedophilia Feature Witchcraft Paedophilia Accused presumed guilty, even if accused anonymously without evidence? Accusations use vague, ill-defined terminology so no one knows precisely what is being alleged? Convictions are possible even if the accused did nothing to the victim, just thought, looked at, said or wrote something? Evidence of innocence is admissible? Do men commonly accuse men? Do men commonly accuse women? Do women commonly accuse men? Do women commonly accuse women? Is false accusation a popular means of smearing or getting revenge? If the accuser recants, the testimony still stands? Accused and victim must be in proximity at the time of the alleged crime? Confessions typically extracted under duress? Confessions typically extracted by torture? Is there a statute of limitations to ensure accurate evidence used at trial? Typically punished by burning at the stake? Typically punished by public execution? Typically punished by vigilante execution? Accusation results in lifetime stigma?
Examples of Vague Terminology
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- The term adult can mean anyone from 13 to 110 years old.
- The term child can mean anyone from a fertilised egg to a 21 year old.
- The term child abuse can mean anything from shouting at, raping, denying medical care, forcing to perform onerous labour, failing to provide appropriate clothing, relying on faith healers, failing to supervise, failing to provide proper nutrition, spanking, kissing…
- The word molest vaguely means interfere with. It can even refer to poking a spawning salmon with a sapling.
- The term paedophilia is a ridiculous euphemism because it means literally child-liking. Anyone who liked children would never consider traumatising or raping them.
- If you want children to testify accurately, you need very clear, concrete, unambiguous vocabulary.
The Painful Closet
If you fear persecution by the Christians and live in the closet, you pay a huge penalty. If you never let people know your last name, where you live or what you do for a living, you can’t form proper friendships. If you get sick, no one will even know much less come visit you. As you get older, your shallow acquaintances will drop away.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Even though Americans are free to marry someone of the same gender, it is still legal to discriminate against gays in employment, housing, service etc. Gays are still second class citizens. The insane religiosity of America holds this barbarism is place.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In the 1960s, segregationist bigots marched in the southern USA to deny black people equal civil rights and to promote hatred against blacks. In 2013, homophobic bigots in France marched to deny gay people equal civil rights and to promote hatred against gays. You can find photographs of the 1960s demonstrations on the web. Today, the people in those photos are ashamed and embarrassed about what they did. It is important thus to film the French demonstrations in high definition to humiliate the bigots when these films are available for all to see on the web (or its successor) 20 years from now.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Paranoid Wishful Thinking
Paranoid delusions protect one from the even worse realisation — that nobody cares.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
As I get older, I see parents’ meddling in their children’s love life less as power trip meddling and more a desire to protect the children from emotionally painful mistakes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Your partner is attracted to you much because you remind them of one of their parents. It is wise to find out what the resemblance is. If you change or improve that characteristic (positive or negative) they will lose interest. Also, over time, they will come to identify you more and more as that parent, even in ways where you are not similar and accuse you of behaviours of that parent that you do not do. They will re-enact their childhood struggles with that parent with you, leaving you baffled.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Almost nobody is a suitable parent, both financially and psychologically. The more unsuited they are, the more likely they are to have an unplanned baby.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Partners to Avoid
You probably want to avoid a partner who has an inflated opinion of themselves, who thinks of themselves as royalty everyone should wait on. As time progresses their looks will fade and their sense of entitlement, demands to be pampered and to be the focus of attention will escalate. Perry Mason female villains are usually of this type.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you put someone on a pedestal, they can’t help but look down on you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Penalty for Failure To Conceive
The dictator of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, said that gay men should be killed because if you locked two of them up in a prison for a year, they would not produce a child. That is also true for the elderly Robert Mugabe, plus a man, women, or donkey. The last thing Africa needs more mouths to feed. There are already hundreds of thousands of orphans. You laugh, but this man is running the country.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I have noticed from direct observation of tens of thousands of erect penises, that penis size is strongly correlated with what part of the globe one comes from. I have wondered why this was so. Here is my hypothesis. Women tend to have more children by males with large penises, but they need a way to know their partner has a large penis before they commit to sex and/or marriage. To judge, they need to observe the erect penis. They can’t tell much from a flaccid penis. This can be discovered several ways:
- By direct observation in cultures that don’t wear clothes or that have weak modesty taboos.
- By touch, in cultures where young women are allowed to make out.
- By gossip from other males. Young males must have opportunity to see each other possibly through sexual activity.
I suggest that in extremely modest cultures, women cannot easily select and thus there is no evolutionary pressure toward large penises. Males tend to be deferential toward other males with large penises. In societies where men get a chance to size each other up, this provides evolutionary advantage to the well-endowed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Doctors usually wait 3 or 4 years after HIV is detected before starting treatment. This is because the drugs are expensive and the patient will not die immediately. If they started treatment immediately, it would be almost impossible for the patient to pass HIV on to others. Policy makers are being penny-wise and pound-foolish.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Permission To Move On
One of the kindest things you can do for your partner, is in your will ask them to find someone new.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Perpetuating Psychopath Genes
The main reason there are so many sexual psychopaths and serial killers (aka soldiers) in the world is that women find them sexually exciting.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Persecution of Alan Turing
Alan Turing (1912-06-23 1954-06-19 age:41) was one of the most brilliant computer scientists of all time. He was the creator of the world’s first computer. He was able compute things with that tiny computer, including cracking Nazi ciphers, that astound today’s programmers.
He was tried on 1952-03-31 for having consensual sex with another male in his home. He was convicted and offered the alternatives of a year’s imprisonment or chemical castration. He opted for castration. For the period of a year, he took injections of feminising estrogen intended to neutralise his libido. This is Britain’s eternal shame, not Turing’s. In 1954 he committed suicide by eating an apple laced with cyanide.
I spit on those busybody meddling prudes who thought they had the right to interfere with other people’s private sex lives that did not in the least concern them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Picking on Men
The media unfairly pick on men, ridiculing their approach to sex, their recreations, their lack of concern with fashion, simply because they are not the same as women’s. In general, men seem apologetic for their maleness. They are hopelessly henpecked. I am not calling for a return to patriarchy, just for men and boys to stop apologising for their essential nature.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Picking a Partner
From the point of view of Darwinian evolution, scoring a partner with much higher status than you is the purpose of life. However, this is for straight people. Gays are not trying to breed a generation of superkids. The downside is your partner will feel entitled to special coddling. They will likely make your life miserable. Further, others will always be making a bid to attract your partner away.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Picking a Partner
You would be wise to have second thoughts about taking a partner who is cruel to other people. It is only a matter of time until they are cruel to you too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We have a tendency to prefer to hang out with very good looking people, but if you think about it, there is no point unless you are planning to create a new being by joining DNA.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Do you really want a boyfriend who will dump you if you gain or loose 4.54 kg (10 lbs) ?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pictures of Women
Men’s magazines are filled with pictures of women. You would expect women’s magazines to be filled with pictures of men, but they too are filled with pictures of women.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We consider it romantic when someone pines for years over a dead or abandoning partner, yet it is even more self destructive than stubbing out cigarettes on one’s arm.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pining for Movie Stars
Many gay males are haunted by a desire for a younger, handsomer, more athletic lover than they are. They may even become fixated on the perfection of some movie or porn star they have never met. Here are some ways to deal with that:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Ever since I have been a little boy, I a wanted a Dalmatian puppy. Dalmatians are rambunctious dogs. They need lots of room and someone to take them for long daily runs. I am in no position at my advanced age of 70 years and wobbly health to offer that. A Dalmatian would be miserable living with me. In like manner, a much higher status lover would not be happy with me either.
- If I had such a lover, he would be a ripe target for having his heart stolen away by someone more appealing than me. It would be hard not to worry and enjoy the moment.
- If I had such lover, people would embarrass him with questions about what is the matter with him that he put up with someone so low status as me and why he stayed with me. Was I a sugar Daddy? He would have to keep justifying his choice to the world.
- When I was younger, my lovers used to complain about my incessant desire for sex. I could well end up on the other end of the problem. It is quite unpleasant to go through the motions of sex when you are not into it.
- He could come to lord his higher status over me and expect me to grovel before him.
Pining Home Remedy
If you have been pining for someone for years or decades and if you have not had any contact with them in some time, here is a home remedy. Find pictures of people approximately the same birth year and general type as your pinee. From that, guess what your angel must look like now. They will look quite different than the way you remember them. Consider that they would have dramatically changed in other ways too. It is hopeless; the person you yearn for no longer exists.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Planning for Parenthood
I think anyone planning on having a child should practice first by raising a large rescue (problem) dog then reforming an alcoholic or drug addict.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pleasing Your Partner
People always looking for a guaranteed way to please their partner. May I suggest:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- do the dishes
- vacuum the carpet
- clean the toilet
- take out the garbage
- do the laundry
- get the groceries
- wash the floor
The Poison of Criticism
Every time you criticise your partner, you chop X minutes off the lifetime of your relationship. There’s always a way to phrase your request without criticism. If you can’t think of it just now, bite you tongue.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of life’s must unpleasant experiences is to get involved with a poison ivy partner. These people go to extreme lengths to make you as miserable as possible when they dump you. You have no idea of the cruelty they are capable of until it is too late. The clues to watch for are how they treat past partners and past friends. It is only a matter of time until they treat you that way too.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pope Calling the Kettle Black
The Pope has some chutzpah to condemn gays for refusing to breed when that is exactly what he is doing himself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
No matter how appealing the actors, porn will eventually lose its appeal for two reasons:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- You can’t help but notice that most of the time the actors are bored. Most of the time any pleasure is simulated.
- Sooner or later enjoying sex vicariously will not be sufficient. You will want to join in.
Porn Movie Partners
In my whole life I rarely got it on with guys like those in the porn movies. Moreover, I never even saw anyone like them. However, even if I had the opportunity, I would have been frequently and thoroughly turned off by their vamping mannerisms.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The actors in most porn movies look so bored I suspect they get tattoos on themselves so they will have something to read during filming.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Porn Teaches A Flawed Strategy
The fundamental problem with pornographers is they present a smorgasbord of impossibly good looking people. They teach their viewers to constantly seek an ever closer approximation to perfection, discarding previous choices like tissues. In the real world, this strategy is fatal.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pornography Is Pretty Good
Here’s a comforting thought. Even married men, if they can get away with it, seek out pornography. So those of us who feel too old, ill, ugly, poor… to be frozen out of the sexual game, are not greatly missing out after all. The sex they exclusively have is apparently not as appealing as the pornography we all have access to.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You have probably seen a documentary about a senior who lives as if they were still 20. This is such a lie. Only a few outliers can pull this off. Most of the rest are contending with aches, stiffness, low energy and all manner of health problems. They are busy hiding all these imperfections. The big lesson is, do it now, whatever it is e.g. traveling the world, volunteering in Africa, finding a romantic relationship. The time when it is too late is far closer than you think.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Power of a Smile
The power a smile has to make your heart skip a beat is the same power its withdrawal has make you wish you had never been born.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Power Of Touch
Never underestimate the power of a foot massage, backrub, hug or breakfast in bed to keep a relationship warm. First and foremost, we are mammals.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pragmatic paedophilia Control
Looking at the issue of child pornography dispassionately has lead me to a view that may horrify most people. If you want to reduce child pornography, you must take the profit out of it. People who buy it make it more profitable. People who look at it, without buying make it less profitable. It thus does not make sense then to punish paedophiles equally for looking and for buying.
Further, what do we want paedophiles to do? We want them to leave children alone and confine their sexual activities to the imagination. It therefore makes no sense to punish well-behaved paedophiles who create drawings out of their imaginations and share them with fellow paedophiles rather than molesting children or buying films of real children being abused.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Predicting the Future
If you lover won’t take you out to dinner or accompany you to dinner, he is even less likely to after you are married.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Preoccupation with Trivia
Artificial intelligence will be puzzled why humans are so preoccupied with who had sex with whom and comparatively so little preoccupied with who had unprotected sex with whom and who and sex with whom without birth control.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Preserving the Gay Gene
If there is such thing as a gay gene, it should gradually fade away as gays come out and refuse to breed. Oddly, those who browbeat gays into breeding are unconsciously trying to preserve that alleged gay gene.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Think what is it like when your partner pressures you to change. It is annoying. It can create despair when the change demanded is not possible. So don’t do it to your partner. They won’t appreciate it any more than you do. Every time you apply pressure you are using up some of the good will that holds your relationship together.
I have bad news. If your partner is always pressuring you to make some change, they are going to leave you soon. They don’t love you as you are, but as they might be able to mould you. They will leave as soon as they stop making progress.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Select your sex partners with the certain knowledge they will eventually tell the five people who would most disapprove of the encounter.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pretending There Are No Indeterminate Gender People
To me it is obvious that people of indeterminate gender exist. What is with bureaucrats who deny this reality when designing their forms? Even bigots who think intersexed people have no right to exist surely must acknowledge that they do.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pretty is Short Term
If you pick a lover based on how beautiful they are, at least admit to yourself, you don’t intend to stick with them for the long term. Even movie stars with the money and drive to do whatever it takes to preserve their looks still fade.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Price of Grandparenthood
Parenthood is the price you have to pay to be a grandparent.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Primacy of Copulation
It seems like 90% of what heterosexuals do in their social relationships is persuade each other to copulate. Homosexuals are not much different. In movies, the percentage is even higher. Watching humans is a bit like watching monkeys in a zoo. When you get old, you wish, once in a while, they would get on with something else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Primitive Disease Control
In a primitive society, pretty well the only defence against sexually transmitted diseases was to marry off women (and sometimes males) before they were old enough to be interested in sex and then enforce strict monogamy. This custom may have embedded itself in our genes, criminalising a substantial proportion of males who would have been considered normal in our cave-dwelling days. Even today in India, children as young as two are betrothed, as extra pressure to keep them celibate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Problem of Aging
As you get older, what needs to be done becomes more obvious and pressing, especially preventing children like Canada’s Stephen Harper from doing more damage, yet you have less and less energy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Problem with Jealousy
You probably want to avoid a partner who is unusually jealous. Don’t mistake jealousy for affection or loyalty. They imagine you are constantly scanning for extra curricular activity because they are. They will eventually drive you crazy with their paranoia and rudeness to people they imagine are rivals.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Problem With Porn
The problem with pornography as you get older is you say to yourself They would never want to have anything to do with me when you look at the handsome ones and I would never want to have anything to with them when you look at the rattier ones.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Problem With Pornography
The true problem with pornography is it raises expectations to ever more unrealistic levels. Reality can’t compete.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The advantage of sexual over asexual reproduction is the genes get more mixed up. There is more genetic diversity. This means natural selection has a bigger palette to work from for evolution. Promiscuity mixes the genes even further. A bird whose eggs all have different fathers has a better chance of perpetuating its genes, rather that putting all her bets on one male. Most animals are promiscuous.
What are the advantages then of monogamy? It is one of the few defences against STDs. Males are more willing to put effort into raising young if they know they are his. Religion has elevated monogamy to absurdly important heights. Partners split over even one incident of straying. Humans claim to be monogamous, but in practice almost nobody is 100% monogamous. We cause ourselves so much grief with this pretence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Bigots charge that gays are wicked because they are promiscuous. Oddly they do everything they can to stop gays from forming lasting relationships, from beating them up if they see them together in public, to refusing accommodation to gay couples to banning marriage.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Prostitutes have obviously learned what sells. It baffles me though that Halloween zombie makeup, ill fitting clothes, bad teeth, rat’s nest hair, chewing gum, smoking and snarling demeanor are what appeal most to their customers. Maybe this appearance is their way of showing contempt for their customers, who are attracted like moths no matter how they look.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Those crusading against prostitution often refer to buying women’s bodies. This is inaccurate and exaggerated terminology. Men either rent women’s bodies or buy their time.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Young heterosexual people have sex in public all the time, in Greyhound buses, in bus shelters, in alleys… They French kiss on the streets, parks, shopping malls in broad daylight. In contrast, you will have a tough time observing even hand holding between gays. They select deserted places, late at night far away from crowds or places behind locked doors. Both, of course, gyrate wildly at Mardi Gras and Gay Pride festivals, but that is the exception. Yet, oddly, Christians seem to think gay people are far less discreet than straight.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pulse Night Club Shooting
Omar Mateen killed 50 people and wounded 53 others in an attack at a Florida gay night club. I put the blame squarely on the shoulders of Muslim and Christian religious leaders who, for years, have been urging their followers to murder gay people. They are so convinced they are so superior to everyone else, that they believe it is OK for them to murder. This sort of thinking is what lead to the holocaust. What possible legitimate use could there be for an arsenal like Mateen used? Surely protecting this sort of behaviour is not what the founding fathers had in mind when they wrote the constitutional right to bear arms to serve in a militia, in a time when arms meant muskets.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If your stream of pee is not as horse-like as you would like, oddly, if you eat some roasted pumpkin seeds, squash seeds or pumpkin seed butter it will drastically increase overnight. One particularly delicious, but expensive source is Mrs. May’s Pumpkin Crunch.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Purchase vs Possession of Pornography
can see making the purchase of various types of pornography illegal since that encourages exploitation of the models. However, that is not the way the law works. It is possession of pornography that is illegal, even when it is viewed for free on the Internet, thus mildly costing/harming the pornographer. This legal thinking derives from a religious fervour to make others conform to religious norms, not to protect victims. By the principle of separation of church and state, that intrusion of privacy should not be permitted.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Puritan Agenda
Christians have been extremely successful in implementing their Puritanical agenda. They have ordinary people believing that men who so much as lust after 17-year olds (e.g. by looking at naked pictures of them on the Internet) deserve the death penalty. They have ordinary people equating succumbing to seduction by a 16-year old to raping an 8-year old. They have convinced ordinary people that accusation, even by rumour is equivalent to conviction. On the other hand, they have the public looking the other way any sex crime committed by clergy. There is no sense of proportion. This agenda has many of the characteristics of a witch hunt. Few people are willing to speak out about this muddle fearing being labeled a sexual predator.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It seems funny now, but in the 1960s in the USA, it was illegal to dance, if you were gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We laugh at people who become besotted with porn stars, film stars and sports celebrities. Yet the person who pursues his ex who dumped him has almost no more chance of success.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
As a gay male, when I watch straight males pursuing females, I have a hard time believing they could be serious. Surely they are just faking the attraction because that is what society expects of them. Males always prefer the company of their buddies after they marry. Why bother with the female partner? Why would they be attracted to a female?
- who did not enjoy outdoor activities?
- who did not enjoy sports or spectator sports?
- who nagged and criticised them over chores that do not matter?
- who was obsessed with trivia such as new drapes?
- who had to be coaxed and bribed to have sex?
- whose feelings were easily hurt?
- who plaster their faces in greasy war paint?
- who wear utterly impractical shoes?
- who hold a totally different idea of what constitutes food?
Presumably straight men watching gay men find it equally hard to believe gay men truly have no interest in pairing up with women.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Animals pursue a mate with determination. When they are rejected, they get right back in the game. Humans need to learn this approach to mate-finding. Somebody needs to write an inspirational book about how animals do not get discouraged.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the creepiest things that happens to me is to be sexually attracted to a guy because of his appearance and simultaneously repulsed by his actions, such as being a military serial murderer, an environmental vandal or a corporate pirate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Putin the Homophobe
To cement the support of the religious right, Vladimir Putin enacted a number of anti-gay laws:
- You may not be openly gay.
- You may not say anything favourable about gays.
- You made not advocate gay equality.
- Children will be taken away from same sex parents no matter how that custody came into being.
These laws also applied to foreign Olympic athletes at the 2014 Olympics in Sochi.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Putting Up With Females
As a gay man, I am amazed that straight men put up with the push-pull games women put them through.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Queen of the Universe
Nothing is more ridiculous than a young woman who thinks she is Queen of the Universe just because she looks fabulous. It will be gone in the blink of an eye.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Question for Straights
As a gay male I can understand that straights have a desire to reproduce and care for children. I don’t have that urge, but at least it makes sense. What I don’t understand is why straights want to live with a person of the opposite sex when there is no overlap in what they consider suitable activities.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Racists vs. Homophobes
The way I see it, racists and homophobes are peas in a pod. They both hide behind religion to cover for their cruelty and viciousness. Even in this day, homophobes are still proud of their affliction. The media still treat them as if their problem were overly scrupulous morality. In reality, they are simple bullies.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Rainbow Flag
One of the cleverest things we gays did was choose the rainbow flag as our symbol. It suggests a delightful diversity. Everybody loves rainbows. It plays into one of the pleasant gay stereotypes, that even as adults we gays love to have fun and play.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Heterosexuals are having so much problem with sexual assault partly for two reasons:
- Many females think that post-coital regret is evidence for rape. They try to deform the definition of consent so that in practice 99% of all sex is done without it. That tactic is related to the fine-print dishonesty that corporation use to play gotcha. It is also a form of crying wolf.
- Many males think than anything less than armed resistance constitutes consent.
Hets need to be less squeamish and create a public, social (not just legal) consensus on just what does and does not constitute rape, with clear examples of both.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You would think the motive for rape would be frustration at being turned down by female after female. But when you look pictures of alleged rapists, they are often extremely handsome. They often have girlfriends or wives. You would think they would have no trouble getting sex. The motive must be enjoying terrorising and bullying.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rape is now only 20% as common as it was in 1970. I think the reason is DNA now helps us convict rapists on the first offence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rape Must Not Be Darwinianly Rewarded
It is important to ensure rape never results in propagation. Otherwise you create a Darwinian drift, so as in ducks, rape gradually becomes the norm. There should be no interference with contraception, the morning after pill or abortion to ensure such rapes do not succeed in pregnancy. I doubt this is politically possible, but I think rape should be punished in addition by vasectomy and possibly even chemical castration when the victim were seriously beaten.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rape Yes, Consenting No in Children’s Fare
One of the strangest things about Americans is that they would far rather their children viewed a rape on TV than a friendly sexual encounter. Given that children ape what they see…~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You might think that rapists are people who are attracted to people who have turned them down. I was puzzled on noticing that rapists are often physically quite attractive. They should have little problem finding sexual partners. I think the explanation is that rapists enjoy bullying, terrifying and hurting people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Humans are somewhat eccentric with their nominal lifetime heterosexual pair bonds. Almost no other species does things that way, except for beavers and some birds. When humans use any of the variants (promiscuity, polygamy, polyandry…) we consider them highly wicked.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Monogamy is extremely rare in mammals. The pretence that humans are 100% monogamous causes untold misery: guilt, needless divorce, blackmail and political ruin.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Lovers pursue and imagine the game is over once the pursuee says yes, but you have to keep doing things every day to please and re-attract your partner if you want the relationship to last.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Some years after I did my main gay lib work, liberationists chastised me for my backward, sexist views. Though I don’t like being bawled out, this is a very good sign. When I wrote, my ideas were far extreme left. I did not know even one person who thought like I did. Then society shifted to the left well beyond my wildest dreams, making my words look reactionary.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Realistic Portrayal of Gays
The goal is to see gay people reflected on TV and in the movies in the same proportion as they occur in real life, showing not just a few stereotypes, but all types of gays in roughly the same proportion they exist in real life. Most of the time the gayness should just be incidental and unremarkable, as it is in real life. Bigots suppressed blacks by keeping them off TV and out of movies. They attempt to do the same thing with gays. People are not afraid of the familiar, so bigots want to keep us gays part of the scary unknown.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Recovering from Birth
Giving birth is surely more painful than the average rape, yet we expect a woman to recover from it without therapy or lasting trauma.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Recovering From Jimmy
Oh mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
House of the Rising Sun
In 1975 my adored lover of 4 years unexpectedly dumped me and refused all communication. All he had to say was Some day we will have to write a book about this. It will be something like Rosemary’s Baby. I took this quite badly and stumbled through the next two years in a suicidal funk. In 1978 he did the same thing to someone else. She took it even worse than I did and committed suicide, but was brought back to life. When I sent him a Christmas card hoping to open communication, he threatened to sue if I sent another.
I have never been able to fully recover from all this. I find myself continually mulling over the data points I have trying to figure out scenarios to explain what happened. I ponder if I could have avoided the pain had I behaved a different way.
If I had my life to live over, I would research other people who had similar experiences, and from that decide a plausible scenario of what happened. I would tell myself, until Jimmy co-operates, this is the best I can do. He is a very stubborn guy, so it is unlikely he will ever reveal anything more. I should then say to myself, Now, Roedy, stop speculating! and get on with your life. That was a wonderful chapter in your life, but it is finished. Let’s get on with something else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Recycled Anti-Black Propaganda
A generation ago, bigots argued against civil rights for black people using the same religious/superstitious arguments they are trotting out again today to deny gay people equal rights.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Red Shirt Effect
Scientists have found, all else being equal, you will get hit on more often if you wear a red shirt.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Refusal to Breed
Christians are horrified that gay males and females refuse to breed. They say it against nature, yet in many other species, large numbers of the population do not breed. Consider ring tail lemurs, wolves, buffalo, grouse, seals, elephant seals, horses, bees, ants, cervids, cuttlefish, mountain goats… Think of prairie chickens for example. Only one male in a given region breeds. Not breeding is the norm.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sometimes you regret agreeing to have sex the instant you get a look at your partner in a good light. Sometimes it won’t hit you for days, months or even years later. As you get older, the percentage you consider a bad idea increases.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When two strangers have sex for the first time, I would hazard a guess that over 50% of the time each of partners wish they hadn’t. By no means does this imply a rape occurred.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A relationship is like a house. If you get behind in the maintenance, you have a big problem.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rejected But Not Necessarily Alone
As you get older, you get rejected more strongly and more often as a sexual partner. You might imagine this means you will necessarily end up alone and miserable. This is not so. People also value you for your other qualities. It is not a mass popularity contest. You only need one partner.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rejoice the Unconsummated
Be glad of the unconsummated affairs you accumulate over your life. When you are old, you will think of them again and again imagining how they might have been.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The important relationship incompatibilities are things like how much food you keep in your fridge that won’t be eaten within five days, how much closet space do you require and how much care to do take to prevent food poisoning.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The traditional fix for a shaky relationship is some time apart. It is a pretty good idea.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- This strategy lets both of you know how much you would miss the other person if you split up.
- This strategy lets both of you know all the things your partner did for you, and now you have to do for yourself.
- You can measure each others’ jealousy. Living apart triggers fantasies of infidelity.
Telomeres are tiny threads inside your cells that shorten a notch with each cell division. When they are gone, you die. Similarly, each time you criticise your partner, you snip the tip off your relationship telomeres.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pretty well everyone agrees that a good relationship is the most important component of life happiness. But Christians want gay people to forgo that so that gays will comply with their religious superstitions even while they ignore all the other religious superstitions from the same chapters in the bible. How petty! How hypocritical!~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Relationships Get Easier
Relationship get easier as you get older because you stop squirming.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In crime shows, police officers chastise teens for chatting with people on line, but never bawl them out for opening the door to plain clothes police and allowing them into their homes without even demanding or verifying ID, which is thousands of times more dangerous.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Religious Bigotry Is Still Bigotry
I get angry when bigoted politicians claim they are not bigots because their bigotry is motivated by religion. If you deny others their civil rights, you are a bigot. It does not matter what your reason for doing so. So of course religiously-motivated bigotry is bigotry. It is ancient bigotry cultivated over the centuries as if it were a virtue, just because people in the deep past indulged in it. Religious bigotry is more poisonous that bigotry motivated by hate since the perpetrators imagine, like Hitler, they are doing some great and wonderful deed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Religious Whack Jobs
People with rigid notions of sexuality, especially religiously mandated ones, create endless misery for themselves even when their partner is 100% compliant. They imagine their partner wants to break the rules or is secretly breaking the rules and they berate themselves for even fleeting thoughts about breaking the rules.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Remedy for Lust
The best way to deal with the ache of wanting beautiful boys you cannot have is to keep yourself busy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
At about age 6, children grow an entirely new set of teeth. In our evolutionary history, people rarely lived past 25, so two sets per lifetime were quite sufficient. How do the teeth know to grow a new set? There must be some hormone that tells them too. If we can find out what it is, synthesise it, then we could give adults a new set of teeth too. I doubt dentists would be keen on the idea and a year of gap-tooth smiles might not be the Vogue ideal, but it would be preferable to living the rest of your life with false teeth.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
All but two Republicans voted to keep don’t Ask don’t Tell. That settles it — Republicans are bigots and homophobes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Republican Scapegoating Gays
What really ticks me off about the Republicans is that they put all those anti-gay measures on the ballots just to draw their bigoted base to the polls to vote for the Republican candidates. It was not even honest hatred of gays. They threw gays under the bus just to get a few votes. Doing that stimulated gay bashings, perhaps a murder or two. The Republicans, especially Ken Mehlman, take no responsibility for the consequences of selling hate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Have you have been strongly attracted to a guy you simultaneously detest, like a moth to a flame? I suppose it may be the same mechanism that traps women with an abusive partner.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If a female finds herself rejected, she will most likely blame it on her weight. I think she should look first to her voice.
- Does she whine like Bernadette in Big Bang Theory?
- Does she rasp like Howard’s mother in Big Bang Theory?
- Does she sound like an airhead valley girl?
- Does she raise the pitch of the end of every sentence as if it were a question and she were asking for confirmation?
- Does she sound like a 4-year old child?
- Does she fry her voice, artificially lowering the pitch so she sounds like a gravelly terminal lung cancer patient.
- Does she randomly emphasise or elongate syllables like a campy gay?
Such voices drive males crazy, but they are too polite to complain, imagining there is nothing you can do to correct the problem.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Beware the reshaper — the partner who sets out to improve you in ways you don’t particularly want to be improved. The bullying will escalate. Eventually they will become so frustrated with their lack of progress reshaping you that they will abandon you. This is more than ordinary nagging. This is an ardent attempt at complete reform.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If a tyrant like Harper were to prevail and become a dictator, he would impose his religious beliefs on the population, including his homophobic notions. It is important for gay liberationists to resist all forms of fascism, or we will be right back where we started in the 1930s.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Resisting Population Control
Humans resist all attempts at population control because they have a deep-seated biological urge to fill the universe with copies of their own DNA, damn the consequences to their offspring or anyone else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When I was a teenager, I had no sexual interest whatsoever in seniors. Now that I am myself a senior, I still don’t. For the last 18 years, nobody I find sexually interesting has had any interest back. I have simply had to accept my situation, consoling myself with the knowledge that when I was younger, I got far more sex than average.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Right wing bigot, Rick Santorum, argued in a rather strange analogy involving napkins and paper towels, that marriage can’t ever be extended to include same sex couples because the word marriage is currently defined to include only mixed sex couples. He seems to think that the definitions of words were carved in stone like the ten commandments. Lexicographers have to put out new dictionaries every year to keep up with evolving meaning of words. Definitions are not a barrier.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Right To Bully
Christians demand the right to bully homosexuals, to teach their children to bully them and to block anyone from telling their children otherwise, based on nothing more than this is the tradition of their religion. The bullying takes the form of calumny, threats, violence and interfering in who can marry whom. In general, the law respects this demand and requires homosexuals tolerate Christian bullying. Yet if a bigot expressed an actual reason for bullying homosexuals, we would slap him with a hate crime. We have this backwards.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Having seen how so many kids turn into monsters I am amazed that straight people are brave enough to risk sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Runaway Population Growth
Three thousand years ago famine, disease or natural disaster could easily reduce populations to the point an entire village would go extinct. To counter, the moral leaders of the time exhorted people to have as many children as possible. The beliefs became frozen in the religions we live with today. However, today, we have the opposite problem, runaway population growth that is overwhelming earth’s ability to sustain us. Moral leaders in China are now exhorting people to have as few children as possible. As the threat rises we may find the churches advocating homosexuality as highly effective birth control method and a way to deal with the imbalance of males and females from parents choosing to have only a single male child. Imagine you, as a heterosexual, lived in that world. How would you feel about attempts to cure you to make you fit into a largely homosexual society? Likely, you would assert that nobody has the right to destroy your very identity. That is exactly how we homosexuals feel about meddling Christians and their bogus attempts to cure us.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rôle of Counselors
Your rôle as a counselor is not to sell fantasies you would find thrilling but to guide your client to take practical steps to a life they would find fulfilling.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rôle of Odour
Olfaction and sexual attraction are strongly linked. It is no co-incidence that the derogatory term for women that gays use is fish. Women smell different to the different sexes.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is ironic that a country with as many religious bigots as the USA would exclude gays from military service. They consider them, like university students, too valuable to waste as fodder in pointless wars.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Safe To Complain
Make your partner feel 100% safe to complain. It lets them safely vent a lot of steam.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Safely Naming Baby With Google
Before you settle on a name for your new baby, make the initials into a word and look it up on Google, e.g. Robert Allan Jones ⇒ RAJ and make sure the result has positive connotations. You want to avoid initial combinations like T.I.T., S.H.I.T., P.O.O. etc. or those sorts of words in foreign languages. Also be aware that initials have an alternate meaning when spoken, e.g. I. P. Nightly.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
20,001 Names For Baby
100,000 + Baby Names
African-American Baby Name Book
Same Sex Dance
Dance is one of the fields most open to gay people. Ironically, it has been extremely reluctant to admit the existence of gay couples. Dance couples are invariably of mixed genders. It is time to shake things up.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Same Sex Parents
Even if you believed it were preferable to have mixed sex parents, there are not enough to go around to adopt all the kids. Straight couples usually insist on having their own kids. You can choose to leave the unadopted kids in orphanages or foster care. Surely it is preferable to give those kids same sex parents.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sandals is a chain of resorts in the Caribbean who refuse gay customers. I would hope straight people would avoid them for the same reason the would if Sandals announced they were refusing black customers.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sandals resorts in the Caribbean discriminate against gay people. I think everyone should boycott them, on the grounds that even if you are white, you should refuse to patronise a whites-only resort.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A Scifi Plot
Here is a plot outline for a futuristic scifi novel or movie. A and B are a happy couple, heterosexual or same sex. One day, B suddenly dumps A, piles on extreme abuse, and ever after refuses any explanation or communication. A becomes obsessed, trying to figure out what motivated B to change so suddenly. Eventually, A gives up trying to understand. A comes up with a plan for revenge. He uses artificial intelligence, a DNA sample from B, electronic spying on phone calls, and Internet porn choices, trying to find out everything possibly knowable about B. A wants to construct an artificial human C who would be irresistible to B. Then A has his consciousness transferred into C.
Then A, in the form of C, sets out to seduce B. He succeeds and they move in together. Then, three years, later C simply leaves without a note or any explanation and refuses all communication. But then C attracts another person D, very similar to B. The implication is, the whole nightmare will repeat.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It makes no sense that heterosexual males use the word screw as a synonym for harm. In both rôles, it is probably the friendliest thing one male can do for another.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When one man lets another screw him, and when one man consents to screw another are the two friendliest things males can do for each other. It is ironic that the church has so terrified men of screwing that they refuse to even try it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Selecting A Partner
When you are looking for a long term partner:
Things to Watch For
- Treats parents well.
- Interested in doing and talking about the same things you do.
- Same degree of casualness about housekeeping.
Things to Watch Out For
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Drug or alcohol use.
- Past history of dumping lovers or friends.
- Sense of entitlement. (What have you done for me lately.)
- Strong attachment to romance. When the bloom wears off they will be gone.
Selective Pornography Censorship
Take a survey of pornography on the Internet. The variety is breathtaking. You will find represented every combination of species, race, gender, age, height, weight, hair colour, hairiness, fitness, endowment… Most of these will either leave you cold or actively disgust you. A few will turn you on, even if you feel guilty about that. The feeling of forbidden fruit is often part of the titillation. Some people want to impose their taste on everyone else and ban all pornography except the kind that turns them on. It never occurs to them that is morally equivalent to randomly selecting some types of porn and banning all others, including the kind that gets them off. It may make sense to ban certain actually sexual activities that harm others, but it is quite high handed to attempt to ban the fantasy that works for someone. It is like confusing banning murder and banning murder mysteries.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Parents discourage their sons from wallowing in self pity, but not their daughters. This is form of daughter abuse.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I howled with laughter at a CBC radio news story on 2012-10-18 about the Boy Scouts perversion files. They read out a confession by a scout leader who said he was no longer going to contest the molestation charges. He was going to hand in his Boy Scout registration. He said I have been doing some soul searching and I decided to go back to the Catholic priesthood (where presumably there would be less heat and more opportunity).
I would hope this scandal finally puts to rest the myth that gays and paedophiles are the same thing. The Boy Scouts excluded gays and recruited and encouraged paedophiles.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the unpleasant facts of life is, if you want to have sex and you don’t have a long term partner, you must continuously expand the pool of people you are willing to have sex with. The day the pool of people you are willing to have sex with no longer includes anyone willing to have sex with you, your sex life ends. That is what has happened to me. As a result I have been celibate for over 16 years. I find the idea of expanding the pool too disgusting. I would rather go without.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Send a Message
The best place to leave a message for your partner, where they are guaranteed to read it, is the bottom of a wastepaper basket.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The older generation, especially the religious, are so cruel to teenagers, teaching them to feel ashamed and embarrassed about the perfectly natural and inevitable effects of raging hormones. It is as sadistic as fraternity hazing.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I doubt many people determine their sexual attraction based on the physical sensations of having sex, but if they did, screwing a male feels much tighter than screwing a female.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sense of Entitlement
The worst possible choice of partner is someone both beautiful and with a strong sense of entitlement. They see the universe (including you) existing solely for the purpose of serving them. You will keep impaling yourself on their condescension.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Severity of Child Pornography Offenses
The laws on child pornography contain a number of inconsistencies. In my thinking, the punishment for the crime should be proportional to the actual amount of harm done a child. The important factor to the law as it is now is possession. That makes no sense to me. If someone views pornography online or offline is immaterial. What is important is did the paedophile pay the pornographer to photograph the child? If he did, he has committed a much more serious crime. He is the motive for the abuse. He should be treated as a conspirator who directly committed the crimes against the child. Without that money, the pornographer could not make a living harming kids.
Ironically, those that view free pornography or those anti-porn fanatics who set up robots to flood the pornographers with requests, incur costs for the pornographers, thus making their businesses less profitable. Ironically, the presence of such people discourages the pornography industry.
The other inconsistency is equating fantasy art with actual photos. If fantasy art is created without live models, there is no child to be harmed. In one ridiculous case, a paedophile’s fantasy journal, a written record of his thoughts, was equated in law with pornographic photos. I think the problem is legal minds are so uncomfortable thinking about the child pornography that they fail to double check that their gut reactions are rational.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex makes relationships so much more complicated. Too bad your sex drive is strongest when you are young and least experienced in handling relationships.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think the law surrounding sex crimes needs revision for three reasons:
- Laws lump together widely different crimes under one category. For example, they sometimes treat child anal rape and having sex with a horny 19 year old as equally wicked.
- They try to enforce Christian notions of morality into law.
- They treat men and women unequally.
There should be nothing illegal with sex in itself, even if the parties are not married, if both parties are gay, if more than one person is present… These are matters of private morality, not law. You don’t need the law preventing people from violating some elderly Christian biddy’s notion of morality. You only need the law to protect people from harm.
Why should sex sometimes be illegal?
- Because one party used force or threats to bully the other into sex.
- Because one party tricked the other into taking a risk of getting an STD or getting pregnant.
- Because one party was incapable of giving informed consent because they were too young, asleep, drugged etc. I hold that tigers are capable of giving consent since they give consent to members of the same species and are capable of saying no quite convincingly.
I don’t think sex should be illegal just because one party bribed the other with money, food, entertainment, a house, jewelry etc. That is a matter of morality not the law. Even the promise to provide in marriage until death do us part is a sort of bribe. It would be quite strange to be consistent and ban marriage too.
There are many sexual things other people do that I find exceedingly gross (including having babies and talking dirty during sex). However, unless someone is harmed, I don’t think the law has any business meddling.
I see two exceptions to these principles.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Children are assumed too young to give informed consent, but I don’t think the law should meddle in their sex play with each other. That is a matter for parental discretion.
- Given that the earth is being destroyed by overpopulation, there needs to be a limit on the number of children you can have. This means it should be illegal for some people to have unprotected vaginal sex.
Children have sex long before their parents want them to, and long before they expect them to. Sex education is the best way to prevent pregnancy and STDs. Religious prudery gets in the way. Parents imagine that ignorance will keep kids safe where we know the opposite is true. It wrong to impose one’s religious superstitions on others, even your own children. Sex education is too important to leave to opinion.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The sex education we received in 1961 left my friend and I with some strange ideas.
Given the emphasis on testicles, and no mention of the role of the penis, my friend assumed the testicles must burst open in a shower of blood.
I tried to convince him of the role of the penis that my mom had told me. He was convinced my mom was a lying pervert. His parents would never do that. They had never even been naked. And further our classes never mentioned it.
We also got the idea that parents go into a coma during sex. Adults seemed to forget all about sex. Why else would a husband be surprised when his wife announced her pregnancy?
We also got the idea every single act of sex results in a baby. We thought it odd to make such a production of something done so rarely.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex For The Last Time
One of more depressing features of aging, is realising you have probably already had sex for the last time. You can’t remember a thing about the last time. You obviously did not go out with a bang.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex Invades Judgment
How tasteless, crude, stupid, insincere or manipulative you judge a person to be depends inversely on how well they meet your preferred sexual stereotype.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex on the Back Burner
Despite how it feels now, sex will be on the back burner for most of the duration of your relationships. It there is not a long list of other things you like doing together, you won’t be spending much time together.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Because of our Christian heritage, our taboos about sex and talking about sex are overly strong, particularly about variations that are unpopular, dangerous or illegal. The net result is, for example, a young sadist enters puberty, but fears telling anyone. He fans his fantasies with violent video games. He secretly tortures and kills animals. Then he joins the military, is shipped to some foreign land where he can butcher and torture innocent people to his heart’s content, is given a medal for it, comes home and becomes a mental basket case. It would have been better if he felt free to get help containing and redirecting his desires.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex vs Babies
Men express the Darwinian prime directive to reproduce by having sex. Women express it by having babies.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex ≠ Love
The most basic and hardest lesson is that sex and love are quite different things. Just because you had great sex does not mean he will want anything to do with you the next day. You can also love strongly without any sexual component.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sex robots are quietly getting better day by day. Eventually, they will be better than humans at giving sexual pleasure and sexual excitement. The robot has the advantage of complete dedication and the ability to adapt to the client. At that point there will be massive unemployment in the sex trade and marriage.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you let somebody see you naked, it is quite a bit more exciting that letting them see a picture of you naked. Further, the image can’t be used decades later to embarrass you. Further it can’t go viral on the Internet. Once a naked image of you gets into hostile hands, there is no way to get it back. Further, someone who loves you to pieces, can suddenly dump you and use such images for revenge.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are considering exposing someone who has sexually assaulted you, stop and consider whether that is a suitable punishment. Not all sexual assaults deserve a kamikaze revenge attack. Perhaps something other than public shaming is a more appropriate punishment.
Consider some of the consequences.
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- He will lose his job.
- His marriage will be destroyed. This will hurt his wife and kids.
- He may never get another job in his life.
- People will believe all your accusations, including your exaggerations. Because of the MeToo fad, conviction requires but one anonymous accusation, not due process as for all other crimes.
- People will not believe a word he says.
- Everyone will ridicule him, even strangers.
- Men are going to avoid you because they perceive you as vengeful.
We have impress the importance of reporting sexual assaults immediately. Young women must be strongly discouraged from indulging themselves procrastinating reporting. Why?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- The sooner the perpetrator is caught, the sooner he will stop attacking other women.
- Evidence quickly deteriorates or evaporates. This is particularly true of semen evidence.
- Professional help can the victim recover more quickly.
- Conviction is more likely the more the victim can remember.
The basic principle of sexual attraction is you are attracted to the partner who would most help you raise children successfully. You would think then that women would go for rich men. But they often go for physically strong or athletic men or even cruel men instead. Why? In our pre-civilisation days, the skills you wanted in a partner were hunting and the ability to fight off predators and marauders. Your kids would be raised by the time you are thirty. So it would not matter if your partner burned himself out at thirty. So risk takers today are considered desirable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sexual attraction is so hard-wired that straight people often assume gay people must be having sex with each other for some reason other than attraction — possibly to annoy their parents (like a ring in the nose), or as part of a pact with the devil for special favours. Gays in turn can’t help but believe, that on some level, straight men are just faking their attraction to women for social and corporate approval. Oddly straight males have little trouble believing in female attraction to them, but that can be explained by male ego.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sexual Orientation Is Not A Choice
I certainly did not choose to be gay. I struggled mightily against it for six years until I discovered I had been outrageously lied to about gay people. Today, 55 years later, if I were given the choice I would likely choose to stay gay. I am just too disgusted by the way heterosexuals behave. It would be as unlikely as choosing to become a bison or like having myself reprogrammed to enjoy eating raw liver.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Here is way to understand hetero, homo and bisexuality. Imagine standing before you were all the people on earth past the age of consent. Your job was to sort them order from most to least sexually desirable. If you were a 100% heterosexual male or 100% lesbian, you would place almost all the females (even the toothless, 500 pound, one-eyed grannies with leprosy) ahead of all the males (even the most famous movie stars and athletes). If you were 100% heterosexual female or 100% gay male, you would place almost all the males (even people as repulsive as Rush Limbaugh) ahead of all the females (even the most famous movie and pop stars). If you were bisexual, there would be both males and females near the head and tail of the list. Even Christians have a list and they have a list they think others should use. Trying to force others to use an incompatible list, for example, forcing a heterosexual male to select his partners using a homosexual male list, or vice versa, is a revolting and an incredible imposition. Christians have been doing it for centuries without shame.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Shame of Ancestors
Just as people today are deeply ashamed that their ancestors were slave owners, or supported apartheid, tomorrow’s people will be revolted that their ancestors were such superstitious bigots that they denied gay people the same civil rights as everyone else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you want a lasting relationship, pick a partner who enjoys doing the same things you do.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In the movies, when a couple breaks up and one wants to stay together, the one who wants to stay together is portrayed as the villain. That is quite a switch in attitudes from a century ago. That partner is portrayed as controlling, violent and psychotic. Rarely is one who leaves portrayed as the villain. They leave without notice, taking everything in the house not nailed down, leaving no note, to run off with a younger lover.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Shock of Infant Care
If you didn’t help raise younger siblings, you are in for one heck of a shock learning looking after an infant entails. I suspect the leading cause of death of infants is naïve frazzled parents who had no idea how much time it takes to feed them and how much pee and poop they produce and how loudly they cry continually.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Sick Urge to Reproduce
Humans (and other animals) are cursed with a biological urge to fill the universe with copies of their own DNA, even if doing so makes the carriers of those copies utterly miserable from the effects of overpopulation.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If your lover is besotted with your appearance, this is not a good sign. Your appearance is guaranteed to change.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Signs Men Have Been Here
You can tell it has been mostly males involved in space exploration. There is so much junk now orbiting earth, it keeps smashing into the satellites and disabling them. Similarly, Mount Everest and Mount Fuji are buried in litter.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The law in North America does not make sense. It allows marriage at 13, sex at 16 and looking at a photograph of a naked 18-year old.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay pride is a silly notion. It is not an accomplishment. It is just something you are. It is as silly as feeling superior because your skin is a different shade from someone else’s or because you are shorter than average. You had nothing to do with it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Sin of Pride
Ever since the beginning, I have objected to the term gay pride. It is hard enough dispelling discrimination without trying to sell the seven deadly sins: gay lust, gay gluttony, gay greed, gay sloth, gay wrath, gay envy and gay pride.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Single Sex Schools
The call for single sex public schools has the same purpose as any segregation — to treat one group better than another. It is a veiled attempt to undo the gains in feminine equality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It must be quite depressing for a straight male when they notice a woman coldly sizing him up for his ability to support her in opulence. For gay males it is simpler, the guy sizing them up is thinking about how fun sex would be and how compatible they would be to live with.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Christians bring up a slippery slope argument to deny marriage equality to gays. If we let gays marry, soon people will marry their dogs. First it is highly unlikely the majority would ever want that. Second marriage is a legal contract. Dogs cannot enter into legal contracts. It makes so sense. Third, all gays are asking for is simple equality, nothing new or strange.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Slut vs Stud
The male equivalent of the word slut is stud. The fact that there are separate words and that the words have such different connotations indicates female equality still has a long way to go.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Watch some guppies, cuttlefish, salamanders, frogs or penguins courting. The males will approach female after female, nearly always getting turned down. The animals don’t make the classic errors that humans do:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Decide based on a string of rejections that they will forever after be rejected because of inherent unworthiness and withdraw to sulk. Even one-legged frogs compete as vigorously as they can.
- Postulate there is only one soul-mate female salamander in the universe and as long as she says no, there is no hope.
The easiest way to improve your sexual attractiveness is to improve your odour. Many people have a poor sense of smell, or one than numbs quickly and pile on colognes to the point they gag others. They imagine they have almost none on. 10 volume hydrogen peroxide will kill the odour-causing bacteria in your mouth and whiten your teeth cheaply to boot. Brushing twice a day will keep the bacteria in your mouth down to a dull roar. Cigarette, cigar and beer smell can be nauseating for others. If you must use perfumes, use ones that smell like something you might eat. They are less likely to be offensive. Your own light body odour has evolved to turn others on. The smell of fabric softener has not.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Some People Should Not Age
Cal was the handsomest guy on campus. He had a girlfriend, but that did not stop a retinue of admiring young men, myself included, who did not acknowledge they were gay from forming around him. His good looks did not go to his head. He was not vain or conceited. He had a sunny, friendly personality that made everyone around him feel in good cheer. There was not a mean or inconsiderate bone in his body. I have a recurring nightmare of running into him now, some 50 years later and not recognising him or bursting into tears at his lost beauty. Some people should be exempted from getting old. It is like a vandal slashing a Botticelli.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Someday My … Will Come
Eventually, the day will come when a handsome guy will deliver a parcel to your door. You will think, that guy is even more appealing than my ex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
15,000 years ago, when you went looking for a mate, there might be ten candidates. Today are over a billion. The belief in soul mates, that only one in those billion is right for you, is just plain nuts. If there were only one, you would have be pretty awful relationship material. There is not even time in a life to look at all their pictures much less meet them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the cruelest lies of all time is the notion of soul mate: that there is only one person on earth who would make you a suitable partner. Think how silly that is! In a lifetime you might meet only 10,000 people. What are your odds of even seeing your soul mate in a world of 7.601 billion? You have only met perhaps 0.1% of the potential partners in your metropolitan area. How can you possibly claim there is no one suitable in that other 99.9% of the people when you have never even talked to them? When a partner dumps you, all that proves is they were not a suitable long-term partner. It means nothing about the availability of better partners.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Soul Mate Cruelty
The cruelest myth that we teach our children is that everyone has one true soul mate. It is a doubly cruel lie — that their exists a perfect effortless partner, and that if your true love dumps you, you are doomed.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Soul Mate Delusion
Perhaps the most painful and destructive of insanities is the delusion that there is only one person on earth whose companionship will suffice. Hollywood fosters the delusion, much as they foster the delusions of Christianity and life after death. They pander to wishful thinking of the infected.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Source of your Sexual Preference
You inherited the genes of both your father and mother, including their criteria for selecting mates. If you are a gay male, you might be surprised to find you have similar taste in men to your mother.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There are some people I think should be given special dispensation so they would never have to age: Lauren Bacall, Julie Andrews, Michael York, Yannick Bison, Leonardo di Caprio, Matt Damon…~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Special rights? Since when is treating gay people equally, special?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Some men avoid the company of women preferring the company of men their own age. These men are much more likely to hug or touch a man than a woman. They have extreme crushes on male celebrities, sometimes being moved to tears just to look on them. They like to have showers with other males. They like to slap the buttocks of other males. However, these men are not considered gay, so long as they constrain this activity to the context of sport.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Legislators become so flustered defining child pornography they resort to vague euphemisms. Law must be precise. Drafting law is no place for the squeamish.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Your ex has every legal right to suddenly dump you without explanation and never talk with you again. If you persist in demanding an explanation, you are a stalker.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Check all the laws. You won’t find a one that says your ex owes you an explanation for why they left. If you persist in demanding one, you are a stalker.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If anyone you know, including your exes, considers your behaviour toward an ex as stalking, cut it out immediately. If you persist, in time, you will come to feel profoundly embarrassed by your behaviour.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In the corporate world, you start out as a pune and gradually work up the ranks to your peak shortly before retirement. In the gay world, you have the highest status the day you come out into gay society and with few exceptions, it is all downhill from then on.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Statute of Limitations
I think there should be a statute of limitations on sexual crimes such as rape, paedophilia and statutory rape. People’s memories after 60 years cannot be trusted. The limit would prod victims to get on with prosecution before the limit expired. Such crimes should be prosecuted as quickly as possible to stop the perpetrator from creating even more victims. It is irresponsible to procrastinate decades.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Statutory Rape Is Not Rape
The term statutory rape has nothing to do with rape. The parties involved in a statutory rape are both eager participants. The crime should be called aiding and abetting sexual rebelliousness to more accurately depict the aggrievement of the father or disrespecting Protestant morality to more accurately the depict the aggrievement of the religious right.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Statutory Rape is a Silly Name for a Crime
The term statutory rape is an odd name for a crime where the only aggrieved party is the girl’s (or is some cases the boy’s) father.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Male lions usually kill cubs sired by other males so they can bring the female lions into estrus and sire cubs that bear their own genes. A woman considering living with or marrying a stepfather for her children has a similar problem. If she picks a stepfather too aloof from her children, he may physically abuse them. If she picks one too solicitous, he may sexually abuse them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In the 1930s there was a black actor whose stage name was Stepin Fetchit. He specialised is playing characters who fit the black stereotype, stupid and lazy. He made quite a bit of money doing this, but in doing so he helped perpetuate stereotypes.
Today there are many analogs who portray gay stereotypes as shrieking, frivolous, air head and effeminate. There are people who naturally and legitimately fit these stereotypes. I support their right to be that way without harassment, but at the same time, I wish these performers would stop trying to encourage discrimination against gays.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We really ought not to sniff at the male tendency to seek partners who are prime in health and beauty and of females who seek partners who are wealthy. These apparently crass strategies are proven through millions of years of evolution.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A Stimulating Partner
If you want a lasting relationship, pick someone who is always saying interesting things and who stimulates you to say interesting things too. You love someone largely because, in their presence, you approve of yourself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The easiest way to explain gay Catholics and Log Cabin Republicans is Stockholm syndrome.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Gay Christians suffer from Stockholm syndrome.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I want to pull my hair out with frustration when a gay Muslim or gay Christian vainly tries to reconcile the two. That is Stockholm syndrome. You did not choose to be gay. You cannot change your sexual orientation. However, religion is something you can and should discard like a filthy tissue.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Stomping Out Love
One of the least attractive features of the human species is the way they are so vicious and self-righteous about stomping out romantic love between the wrong financial classes, the wrong casts, the wrong races, the wrong religions, the wrong genders, the wrong ages…~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Stop the Punishment
First we learned to stop punishing left-handed children. Then we learned to stop punishing people with more melanin in their skins than us. Then we learned to stop punishing young gay adults. Then we learned to stop punishing intersexed children.
It makes no sense to punish people for things they did not choose and over which they have no control. Compassion demands we try to accommodate them as much as possible, so long as it does not harm others, even when we personally find them disgusting.
So for example, even though I find male-to-female cross-dressing incomprehensible and ridiculous, I insist on the right of other people to dress as they please. I think, over the coming centuries, this attitude of compassion will spread to cover people who now receive nothing but punishment including those with unusual sexual attractions or as I call them the outer philias.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight Love Is Animal Love
Straight people claim their sexual attraction is ineffable. Yet when I look at movies made for straight people (not just porn), there is nothing special about the attraction at all. The attraction is exactly the same as that of birds and mammals. I think they are unaware of how blatant the sexuality of heterosexual relationships is. Because they are swimming in it, they don’t notice it as such. How are birds, their courting and their nests that different from humans?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight Male Affection
A straight man is far more likely to grab and hug his buddy in a spontaneous expression of joy than grab his wife.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight Male Friends
When you are confronted with the fact your straight male friend is turned on my bloated female breasts, it is similar to confronting the fact your black lab likes to eat feces.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight Relationships Superior?
Straight people often claim, without evidence, that their relationships are vastly superior to gays ones. Consider that the most common reason for straight people to get married is an accidental pregnancy. Further, straight people often stay together even when they detest each other, for the benefit of the children. Gay people get married because they love each other, not because of a pregnancy. They don’t usually have children so they don’t usually hang together in spite-filled relationships.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Straight Taste In Women
I am usually disgusted by straight male tastes in women. Pop singers and actresses act and sound like five year olds. They dress in completely impractical clothes and shoes. They slather their faces and lips in garish oily paint. They drape themselves in ridiculous trinkets. What is the matter with men they find these bimbos appealing? What is the matter with unadorned healthy human females?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Of all the terrible things that can befall a child, thankfully, being sexually attacked by a stranger is relatively rare. It appears much more common than it is because of the world wide news coverage. However, we react as if it were the #1 childhood peril by teaching even very young children to be afraid of strangers. The problem is, when these children grow up, this deliberate phobia inhibits them socially, makes it hard for them to get a job, hard to sell goods or ideas to strangers, hard to speak in public and hard to find a mate.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you get involved with someone strikingly beautiful, be on guard it does not deteriorate into an abusive relationship.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Strong Reactions to Homosexuality
For most people, homosexuality is boring. It just yet another strange thing that some people do, like dress up in rubber suits. Intense feelings for or against only show up when the person has homosexual urges that he either revels in or tries to suppress.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Stubble as Signal
Stubble was once a way for a young man to both advertise and prove his unmarried status, sort of the opposite of a wedding band.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Rev. Simon Lokodo, the Uganda Ethics minister, is concerned that the play The River and the Mountain will promote homosexuality. In it a gay man is murdered by his employees. It seems to me that plot ought to discourage someone from letting it be known he was gay.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Stupidest Reason for Dumping
The stupidest reason for dumping your partner is because he/she once had sex with someone else. What matters is how they treat you.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Sudden Onset of Old Age
It cannot be stressed too strongly how rapidly old age descends on you. It is as if you wake up one morning and suddenly you are old. There must be some mistake. You expect to wake up the next day back to your normal self, but you just don’t . You are trapped in this goony-looking old man’s body. What’s perhaps worse, is everyone else treats you like an old man too. People offer to help carry your groceries. If there is anything you want to do in life that requires, energy, flexibility, sex, fetching appearance… do it now! Psychologically speaking you have only a few days left.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Sudden Onset of Old Age
Oldsters are keenly aware that fellow oldsters were but brief moments ago horny teenagers. To horny teenagers, the notion is absurd. To them, the old obviously must have always behaved exactly the way they do now.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are suddenly dumped, if you tell yourself the wrong things, you can screw your life up for decades. Here is what to do:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Think back over all the subtle warning signs that the breakup was coming.
- Think of all the reasons you two were not that well suited.
- Think of all the things your ex may be able to improve in his life in a new relationship.
- Think of all the things you may be able to improve in your life in a new relationship.
- You want to look at the breakup as the playing out of inevitable forces, not of anyone’s fault, especially your own. You will just torment yourself needlessly if you ask What if I had done X differently?. You can vow to be more considerate in future relationships, but you cannot change the past.
- If you catch yourself saying I could never love another but him don’t be silly. You have only met the minutest fraction of the planet’s eligible partners.
- Ask anyone who was similarly dumped. They will assure you the pain gradually subsides.
The #1 cause of both teen suicide and teens being thrown out onto the street is bigoted Christian parents ostracising gay children.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You more likely to kill yourself that be murdered or killed in a car accident. If you are a gay teen, you are very prone to suicide.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Any program to help kids and teens with suicide need to be accessible without parental knowledge.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Superiority is Superiority
It is just as bigoted to sling unsubstantiated generalisations about female superiority as male superiority.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Surprise of Old Age
Getting old is a surprise. It is as if your friends who do movie special effects applied latex makeup and a fat suit while you slept. You awake to a bald forehead. Your muscles are gone. Fat pads appear. You have been given some drug that makes your body ache and move slowly. It makes your thoughts clouded. It is so embarrassing. Your sex life must end. Friends tell you that you should find people your own age sexy. Are you mad? I am not a pervert! Everyone treats you as an old man. They don’t realise it is just a disguise that you cannot remove.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tarnish the Golden Rule
Men and women (and also same sex couples to some extent) never fully believe that their partner wants what they say they do sexually. They insist on thinking their partner really wants what they want for themselves. You have to just close your eyes, trust and monitor your partner’s breathing.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Getting a tattoo is like having bell bottoms crazy-glued to your legs. They are a fad. They are very expensive and painful to remove when the fad ends. They will look worse year by year as the flesh sags and the dyes fade. You want to be crazy? Dye your hair, get a piercing, (with Prince Albert or guiche), get a wild carved haircut, buy some absurd clothes — they are easy to get rid of.10 Tattoo Don’ts!! How To Avoid Stupid Tattoos
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tattoo and Cross are a Turn Off
There are only few people who will reject you if you don’t have a tattoo or a cross around your neck and all kinds of people who will reject you if you do.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tattoo as Art
Normally I find tattoos repulsive. They imply low IQ and criminality. However, I saw one on a well-muscled shoulder that was appealing. The artist had worked brilliantly with the natural contours.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Tattoo Fad
Just how much longer will tattoos remain in fashion? Just how much longer will any given tattoo design remain in fashion? Since tattoos are permanent, if you get one in the name of looking cool and with it, you are dooming yourself to look very old fashioned for most of your life.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I find it odd that criminals are so fond of tattoos. They enable their victims to identify them in police databases.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Teddy Bear Loyalty
What are you teaching your children when you encourage them to abandon their old friend Teddy, now worn and one-eyed for a handsome new companion?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When I was a boy, we were into teddy bear monogamy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Teen Idol Clout
Teen idols such as Justin Bieber have amazing political clout. Unfortunately, they have not had the years or time to sort out how to use that power wisely. I would hope they could find someone wiser to advise them and do something useful with their clout.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Every teenager has to rebel as part of the process of getting ready to live on his own. Thank your lucky stars if he chooses to do it with his taste in music.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
In the interests of entertainment and wish fulfillment, Hollywood will trick you into thinking the more tempestuous a relationship is, the happier it will be later. This is not true. In lasting relationships, the partners consistently treat each other with consideration, fairness and respect. If your partner dumps you, forget it. You made a mistake. That relationship was not the one.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Temporary Eye Candy
No matter how heart-stoppingly beautiful he is, add 40 years and he may be lovable, but he won’t be eye candy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Temporary TV Partners
In every ongoing TV drama or sitcom, if anyone finds a partner, they always lose them by the end of the episode. What unconscious effect does this have on viewers?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Term Child Abuse is Vague and Evasive
I think in law and in common speech, we should avoid the deliberately vague term child abuse. It can mean anything from anal rape of a four year old to oral sex with a horny 17-year old who was the persistent instigator, or a 19 year old boy who has sex with his 17 year old girl friend. It can even mean hitting or swearing at child or failing to provide proper nutrition. To me, the term child abuse conjures up silly images of misuse of a child, for example using one as a ladder or a chauffeur. We should coin more specific terms. What we are doing is equivalent to lumping all crimes with adult victims as adult abuse.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Testosterone makes males fight, dominate and bully each other. It makes them take life-threatening risks. It makes them abandon their mates to seek new ones. The levels of testosterone in human males were optimum for life as a caveman, but might be considered poisonous for an officer in charge of a nuclear arsenal.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There is a Big Difference
You are in for a very nasty surprise if you can’t tell the difference between:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- A strong desire to have sex with someone.
- Delicious sensations in your penis or in your anus.
They Should Talk
The Catholic priests have such cheek to tell gay people their sex lives are unacceptable when the priests are either paedophilic rapists or they enable the molesters so they can watch.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Those Without Memory
Those who like to castigate the young for their preoccupation with sex have forgotten how youthful hormones pick you up and shake you until your teeth rattle.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
On 2011-05-07 a man in Rochester New York was sentenced to 27 years in jail for making extra copies for himself of photos of children people brought into be developed. To be consistent, the law should also jail those parents for taking the photos of their children skinny dipping or splashing in the bath. He is being convicted for his alleged thoughts, not his deeds. Had he made extra copies of cute pet photos there would have been no jail time. The odd thing about this case is that the pictures in themselves were not pornographic, but that the defendant allegedly treated theme as if they were. By this reasoning the defendant could equally well have been convicted for ogling a Sears catalog. Given that no one was harmed and no child was exploited or traumatised, I think the sentence was overly harsh. People become extremely uncomfortable thinking about such matters. So they naturally go for the gut, ignoring what their rational minds might have to say about the legal repercussions. Even the judge did this.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
People are somewhat irrational when they are just as nasty to celibate paedophiles as they are to child rapists. It is unfair to punish someone for what they feel/think, only for what they do.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Imagine you ruled a page with three columns. In the first column you listed various sex acts. In the second column you listed how pleasant you think the act is or how pleasant you imagine it would be and in the third column you would list how wicked you think the act is. Imagine you collected sheets from people living all over the world. You would discover how arbitrary the classifications are. They are just cultural conventions, not laws of nature.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Three Degrees of Adultery
There are three degrees of adultery:
- sex causing pregnancy
- unprotected sex
- protected sex
People are over-reacting to third degree as if it were first degree. Third degree is a relatively recent invention and we have not adjusted our social norms to deal rationally with it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Three Friendliest Acts
The three most pleasurable things you can do for someone else are to give them a blow job, screw them anally or let them screw you. Yet oddly, the these highly friendly acts are treated in slang as if they were a form of violence or cruelty. Christians consider them the ultimate wicked acts. I think they are nuts. They seem to think to goal of the game of life is to frustrate, belittle and in every possible way make others miserable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tidal Wave of Hormones
When I see young people being swept by a tidal wave of hormones, I feel embarrassed that once I too had so little self control, but at the same time wish it could happen again.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pity the poor straight guy. No matter how big his penis is, it is not nearly as awe inspiring to a women as an entire baby sliding down her tube. Straight men may be envious of gay men simply because, for gay men, the fit is so much tighter.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Till Death Do You Part
When you promise to stay with someone until you die, or you fantasise about such a relationship, keep in mind, this is the best they will ever look. From now on it is all down hill. You are going to live with a 30 year old, then a 40 year old, a 50 year old, a 60 year old, a 70 year old with all the deterioration that implies.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
One of the secrets of a long relationship is to inspect the toilet after every use, and wipe it down with a sterilising wet wipe where it needs it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There are three ways to leave a toilet seat. Here are the arguments for each:
- Fully up. This is the way males need it to urinate. Leaving it this way will encourage them to urinate with it up, especially elderly males who may have trouble reaching down to flip it up. It gives the best view of the toilet bowl so it easy to see that it needs cleaning. Males will be less likely to miss and hit the toilet seat.
- Seat down. This is the way females need it to urinate. Females usually imperiously insist on it being left this way as a sign of respect, even when they are in a minority. They complain they fall into the water if someone leaves the seat up and they do not notice.
- Fully down, closed. This prevents a fine spray of water and bacteria from entering the room when the toilet is flushed. It also masks the noise of flushing. The disadvantage is you will not notice an incomplete flush. It has no implication of male or female dominance. It discourages small children from throwing things into the water or pets from using it as a drinking fountain. It is couth, suggesting the residents of this home hardly ever need to use it so they keep it covered.
You can also leave the seat the way the person you think will most likely use the toilet next will like it. That might be you.
When will the Japanese invent a toilet seat that recognises whether the person approaching it is male or female and whether they want to pee, poo, or vomit and adjust the seat appropriately, leaving it down after they are done. Perhaps you would wear a little tag on your zipper to give it a clue.
As a bonus, perhaps it could give you a gentle spray of orange-scented disinfectant soap.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Women pretend they do not know how to change a toilet paper roll to let males feel useful.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Toilet Seat Power Trips
Men and women express dominance by getting their partner to put the toilet seat in their favourite of the three possible positions. Logically, I think the seat should be up. That would discourage males from overestimating their ability to aim and it makes it clear to everyone when the toilet needs to be cleaned.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tolerance Is Not Necessarily a Virtue
Gays tolerating Christianity is like Jews tolerating Nazis.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Too Wicked To Realise
There are two kinds of people, those whose actual sex life matches their fantasy life and those who believe their fantasy life is either too wicked or too difficult to manifest in reality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you are in school, there are always older kids who bully you. When you grow up and work at a company, all the bosses are older than you. Then you retire. Suddenly, you are now old yourself, but so old you are considered irrelevant.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Tradition Justifies Persecution
American bigots justify continued bullying, persecution, suppression, denial of equal civil rights and denial of marriage to gay people on the grounds of 3000 years of tradition. I would like to remind them that 3000 years of tradition was an equally spurious justification for slavery, segregation, refusing women the vote and beating horses and children to death. Whether gays marry or not has no effect whatsoever on straight marriages. Opposition is acting out of spite and malice. The pleasure of bullying and the smug satisfaction of superior social status is what is actually motivating the bigots.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Beware of getting involved with someone who seems to be treating you as their parent. They are not necessarily much younger than you. Eventually, they will start projecting on you all the negative behaviours of their actual parent, which will be quite baffling. At the same time they will resent the ways in which you are different from their actual parent. Eventually, an unconscious incest taboo will kick in. They will leave, refusing any further contact and it will feel to you like a son dying.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It is ironic that the people who have the strongest opinions about transgendered people have never met any.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The later in life transgender correction surgery is undertaken, the more expensive, the riskier and the less satisfactory the results. Once puberty kicks in, it starts making heavy duty modifications to the body that are hard to undo. We really should be doing the surgery in infancy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The CBC announced a poll saying the majority of Canadian now support transsexual civil rights. Popularity is irrelevant in determining civil rights. They are guaranteed by the constitution. The CBC is treating Canada as some exclusive club where members must vote to accept new members, on whatever criteria they choose.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Trap Door Love
Some people are cursed with a sort of trap door in their mind. If they fall in love deeply enough, there is no turning back ever, no matter how cruelly their beloved treats them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are dumped, you would give your right arm to know why. So, when your partner complains during the relationship, treasure the information. They are you clues to what you need to do to keep the relationship warm.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Treatment by Porn Stars
Porn can only really work for virgins. The rest of us know that those good looking enough to star in porn films would unlikely even give us the time of day.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Trinity Western is a university run by Christian fundamentalists. They expel gay students. They tried to apply for accreditation for their law school. They are suing those who oppose them. The bible requires you to stone to death adulterers, shrimp eaters, gays, people who swear… Thankfully, our notion of freedom of religion does not include the right to break the law or impinge on the freedoms of others, but that is what Trinity Western demands. To me, there is no question. They are breaking the law. They should be shut down.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When you hold out for someone with fashion model looks for a one night stand, just what are you up to? You are not looking for great genes to breed. You are not about to parade your conquest as a trophy. Just why does it matter so acutely?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
True Motive for Denying Gay Rights
Denying gay people the right to marry follows in the same vein as assigning subjugate status to Chinese immigrants, blacks and women. It is motivated by a desire to feel superior without effort.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The word paedophile comes from the Greek meaning lover of children. It is related to oenophile, lover of wine. The Greeks had four different words for love. Philia refers to a non-sexual kind, more like the English like. paedophile is thus a silly term to use for someone who traumatises children. Anyone who truly liked kids would never subject them to not only a potentially terrifying or painful sexual act, but to all that happens afterwards as a consequence which can be even more traumatic, when the child takes the guilt on themselves for what happened. They would not do this even if they were sexually attracted. They certainly would not kill children. We should use more accurate term, perhaps has a child fetish or sexual child abuser. The use of the deliberately-misleading euphemism paedophile came from someone trying to improve the reputation of sexual child abusers.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Is Turnabout Fair Play?
If the British National Party advocates harming and discriminating against gays, does that give gays the moral right to harm and discriminate against members of the British National Party, or to advocate others to do so?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Follow the tabloids. There are endless stories of pleasant people who became insufferable, for example Justin Bieber or Mylie Cyrus. There is nothing mysterious if your partner makes a similar change. It is as pointless hoping your partner will return to their old personality as it would be to expect Justin Bieber to turn back into his former bunny rabbit personality.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
TV Example Children
If you have a TV, you have seen depicted the myriad ways a child can go bad. It is wonder anyone dares have a child anymore.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Two Errors in Selecting A Partner
If you are looking for a long-term lover, there are two basic errors you can make:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Being so picky you reject everyone.
- Not being picky enough so you keep getting sidetracked with inappropriate partners.
Two Life Lessons
The two most important messages involving sexuality that I want to tell you are:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Don’t risk HIV. It screws up your life far worse than you would ever imagine.
- If your lover dumps you, especially if they give no warning and no explanation, they will not come back. Don’t waste you time pining. They are no longer a suitable partner for you.
Two Parents Are Better Than One
If one a pair of birds dies or takes off, that is pretty well a death sentence for any fledglings. In some societies, such as Haiti, most children are raised by a single woman. This leads to widespread poverty. The Christians are right on the desirability of two parents. It is important to provide every child with two parents to support and care for them, though studies have found it does not matter what gender the parents are. You would think polygamous marriages, which provide even more caregivers, would be considered preferable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The term two-spirited in over used.
- A two-spirit person feels they are either intermediate between male and female or both.
- Transgendered people feel they are the gender opposite to their physical body.
- A gay male feels 100% male and prefers males sexually. There is nothing female about him.
- A lesbian feels 100% female and prefers females sexually.
- Campy gay men who like to affect the most outrageous female behaviours. These are probably best described as drag queen, though some don’t actually dress as female.
Two-spirited people are quite rare. It gets confusing when some aboriginal people lump everyone who is not straight into that category.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you have HIV, one of the greatest pleasures in life is to stretch out on the couch and not feel nauseous.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Unappealing Styles of the Young
I know I am getting old. I can’t understand why young people would shave themselves bald, sport amateurish tattoos, wear a baseball cap sideways, or wear pants so baggy they drag on the ground. It is almost as though they are doing everything they can think of to make themselves sexually unappealing to older generations.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If you are an older gay man and your tastes in men are roughly the same as when you were 20, the prospects are bleak. Here are the options I can think of:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- learn to direct your dreams
- Be very rich and attract those who are strongly attracted to money
- Be very famous and attract those who are strongly attracted to fame
- Live in an Asian country where the elderly have high status
- await the invention of 3D pornography
- await the invention of virtual reality pornography
- await the invention of android companions
- convince yourself you would actually be happier in the company of those your own age.
The main reason men have so much trouble understanding women is they refuse to believe how central jealousy and envy are to the female psyche.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
All that incredibly painful heartache you feel, you create yourself as a futile Gandhian blackmail on the person who rejected you. Just because you are the one causing the pain does not mean it is trivial to stop doing it.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
There are only two times in your life when you properly appreciate just how strongly your hormones control your actions: puberty and old age when the hormone surge subsides.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Uniform Age of Consent
The world needs to move toward a uniform age of consent so that tourists can avoid breaking the law and so that married couples will be recognised.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Uniquely Naming Baby With Google
We humans have names so we can talk about each other and know which person we mean. Now we have become a global village, there are huge numbers of Jim Smiths and we can’t tell them apart with Google or computer databases. It causes all manner of confusion. People can be wrongfully presumed to be sex offenders, financial deadbeats, criminals, no-fly terrorists, authors, celebrities… because of the activities of other people with the same name. To avoid this problem, put the candidate name for your baby into Google and see how many hits it generates. Ideally it should be zero. Then when your child grows up, when people go looking for information, they will not be confused by false Google hits or swamped with information about other people.
Check your candidate name does not mean enema in Swedish etc.
It is extremely patronising, rude and presumptuous to choose a name from the bible except for a few very common names such as David, James, John, Mark and Peter. If your child does not select Christianity as an adult, it will make it much more difficult for him to join his new community. Further, his whole life he will be stigmatised as if he were Amish.
Don’t get creative with spelling. It will make it much harder to look him up. Further his name will more often than not be misspelled.
A name perfect for a newborn will likely be way too cutesy for an adult.
Check out the initials to make sure you have not inadvertently spelled out something unfortunate, e.g. SOB (Son Of a Bitch).~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
20,001 Names For Baby
100,000 + Baby Names
African-American Baby Name Book
Almost every straight man will get turned on if a nubile 15 year old comes on to him. We don’t call such men paedophiles because they are also attracted to women their own age and because they have the self control to avoid becoming involved. paedophiles, in contrast, are interested only in children. Men feel guilty about their normal attraction. That is partly why they react so violently to ephebophiles and paedophiles.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If K. D. Laing sang about wanting to rest in the arms of some hunk, that would be unnatural.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Ironically, if you have unprotected sex with someone who tells you they do not know their HIV status, you are at far more at risk that if you have unprotected sex with someone who tells you they are HIV +. How could that be? If they don’t know their status and are about to have unprotected sex with you and they have probably had unprotected sex with many other people. Thus they are probably HIV +. The person who tells you they are HIV + has been tested and will probably be on anti-retroviral drugs, which should have reduced their HIV counts to undetectable levels. In that case, your odds of infection are ironically quite low.
Laws requiring divulging HIV status backfire. People avoid getting tested and treated. If someone has unprotected sex with strangers, either they are HIV or they soon will be. Relying on others to warn you of their status (that they may not know), is utterly foolhardy, no matter what the laws. Such laws just give a false sense of security.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We laugh at the prudishness of yesteryear even though it had a useful function:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Ensuring all children had two parents to care for them.
- Preventing the spread of sexually transmitted disease.
- Controlling population growth.
Purse snatchers don’t love women, they just want their purses. It might not be too much of an exaggeration to say that the heterosexual men don’t love women; they just want their vaginas. To get sex, they have to convincingly feign enduring love.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
For malaria there is the mosquito; for sleeping sickness there is the tsetse fly, but for HIV there is no essentially tropical vector. It is primarily a tropical disease because of the way mankind has responded politically to the disease.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Pfizer’s world wide patents on Viagra will expire over the period 2010 to 2013. This will launch an avalanche of cheap generics. Wrigley has even patented a chewing gum containing generic Viagra. I kid you not.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
To what extent should the law intervene in a dispute between a father and daughter over an appropriate time to lose her virginity and with whom?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I think most gay males would have no problem writing a ten-page essay on what the ideal gay male looks like. Attraction is strongly based on hundreds of visual details. Females pay much more attention to behaviour.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If it were true that visualising what you want caused it to manifest, every teenage boy would have a pornstar sex partner.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Waking Up Old
Nothing can prepare you for the shock of waking up old.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
I notice, that as the years pass, fewer and fewer young males look attractive. At the top of the list of detractors is tattoos, especially cheap, unplanned ones. Next would be foppish beards. Next would be unisex trends. For me, anything female is a turn off. Next would be the degeneration of English, the valley girl and Texas accents affected by the young both male and female. I presume the young do not find these as offputting as I do, so sex should still be popular.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Wanted: a Father
Fundamentally, women need a man whom they can rely on to help raise children. So what should they look for?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Enjoys children.
- Keeps his word.
- Imprints on one person and can’t let go even if they die.
- Not particularly adventurous. Likes routine.
- No interest in waging war, the most common way for men to escape family obligation.
If a bride insists on an expensive wedding and tries to control every last detail of the wedding, it might be a good time for the groom to bolt.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If a man discovers his bride wants a big expensive wedding and big expensive rings just to show off to her friends, he should not be surprised when she later spends more than he makes on designer clothing, makeup, furniture… to support her social climbing addiction.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Ways to Leave Your Lover
Lovers have various ways of leaving. Some, perhaps because they can’t handle confrontation, will surprise you with no warning, no explanation and no further contact. They just disappear. You find out they are still alive only through third party sightings. If you don’t know that this is fairly common, being dumped this way can shake you to your core. You might foolishly tell yourself you can’t get on with your life until you figure out what happened. Get it out of your head that they owe you an explanation. Be glad to be rid of such a person so easily and get on with your life. The understanding will come clear in time when your feelings are not so raw.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
We are the Barbarians
When you study history its seems almost unimaginable how badly our ancestors behaved. Future generations will look on the current American generation as backward, stupid, ignorant, vicious and superstitious as any witch burner for the way the treated gays during the AIDS epidemic.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
A wedding is a symbolic play to celebrate the creation of a new union. Why should it use traditional paternalistic symbolism you don’t agree with? Why can’t the best man be female? Why can’t the bride have a best man too? Why can’t the groom’s parents and bride’s parents all escort their children to the altar?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
It more important to learn how to hold your weight level than it is to lose weight.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Well-Hung Porn Stars
The well-hung porn stars are bigger than anyone I have seen in real life. This suggests there must be hundreds of thousands of boys who want to be pornstars for it to be possible for the recruiters to find so many mega-hung ones.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What Anti-gay Bigots Say
I have been debating with anti-gay bigots since 1969. Their most common arguments are:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- The bible says we are supposed to kill you gays. I point out what else it says in the nearby paragraphs that they ignore, like kill disrespectful children.
- If gays are allowed to marry it ruins my marriage. If you blame a gay couple you have never met for your failed marriage, you are scraping the bottom of the barrel for excuses.
- Gay people molest children. Not nearly as often as heterosexuals. Look at the stats. It is logical. Gay men like masculine things. Heterosexual men like feminine things. Children, even boys, have feminine characteristics like high pitched voices, no body hair, small size, lack of musculature. paedophiles are nearly always heterosexual.
- Gay people are promiscuous. Therefore we should kill you or at least stop you from marrying. Discrimination frightens many gays into avoiding living with a fellow male. They avoid telling anyone else their name and where they live, even from having friends. Discrimination is driving the promiscuity. Marriage is the #1 antidote to promiscuity. Why are you refusing to use it?
- When I think about gay men having sex, I feel really icky. They should not be allowed to do it. I used to feel that way too, but it was because I was conflicted, both simultaneously attracted and repelled. Nobody is demanding you watch. Just stop interfering. Did it ever occur to you that heterosexual porn is revolting to gays, but we gays can’t get away from it? It is absolutely everywhere. Every movie goes on and on and on with boring, revolting heterosexual coupling. Most ads drip with it. We gays don’t do that to you.
- If you are gay, you must have HIV. If you come near me, sit beside me on the bus, give me a cup of coffee, hug me… I will get it. I must therefore have you killed to protect myself. If HIV were that easy to get, you would have contracted it decades ago. There are special receptor cells in a very few spots on your body. If you avoid unprotected anal and vaginal sex, you won’t get it.
- Homosexuality is contagious. We must isolate you, especially from children, or anyone who comes in contact with you will be instantly converted. I see you subscribe to St. Paul’s prairie fire theory that homosexuality is more appealing even to heterosexual males. It simply has not happened. Darwin can explain why it can’t. Consider that I was raised surrounded 100% by heterosexual people and it did not flip me. Nearly all gay people are the spawn of two heterosexuals. Sexual preference is hard-wired into the brain while you are still a toddler. If homosexuality seems all that appealing to you, consider the possibility you are gay and that fierce attraction is not universal.
- Some day we are going to castrate you all to keep you from reproducing your kind.
~ Bert Price, (1907-04-10 1986 age:79), cabinet minister in the Socred Government at an all-candidates meeting 1972. Mr. Price needed a lesson in biology about where homosexuals come from.
- AIDS is God’s punishment on gay people. Lesbians have much lower rates of HIV than heterosexual men or women. The fastest growing infection group are young heterosexual females. Especially when you look at the whole world, blacks are disproportionately represented. Are you telling me your Yahweh likes lesbians better than straights and has it in for blacks?
What the Elderly Have To Teach
The young usually avoid the elderly because they are not sexually appealing and because they tend to ramble on. Yet the elderly have had lives filled with many experiences as young people that would be useful for the young to know about, so they might avoid the same mistakes, most notably dealing with being dumped or hanging out with unethical people.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What Females Look For
In a straight relationship, at least on an unconscious level, a female is sizing up potential mates to see which ones would help raise the most children to maturity. She is interested in his ability to provide, how likely he is to stick around until the children are raised and his physical strength to fight off predators (not a big problem today, but still a potent attractant). This must be distressing to the male, knowing the female has almost no interest in him, just in what he can provide. She will quickly lose interest in him if he ever fails to continue to provide. Darwinian selection demands the male is used and exploited in this way. A gay male on the other hand needs nothing from his partner but companionship and sex.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What is a Homophobe?
Homophobe is a polite term for bigot. It means someone who feels uncomfortable or fearful around same-sex couples. The usual emotions are hate or disgust, so it is actually an inaccurate euphemism.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What Might Have Been
In old age, sex does not consist in reminiscing about past conquests, but in endlessly reimagining pleasures that almost might have been.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What Women Want
Women think they want romantic husbands, who will bring them flowers, candy and impractical gifts and whisper poetry of praise into their ears. But they don’nt. Such a mate will spend his time out seducing the neighbours. What they really want is someone who can hold a steady job, who will help with the house and yard work and who will listen to them.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What You Have In Common With Everyone
The one thing you have in common with nearly everyone in the world is when your first love affair ended, it broke your heart harder than any human ever felt before.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
What’s With Makeup?
What on earth possesses people to put makeup on their eyelids to mimic a shiner? Why that black goo on their eyelashes that looks like a terminal disease? Why that foul-smelling red slime on their lips? It stops me dead in my tracks even when the prettiest guy wears it. How do heterosexual males manage to stay heterosexual when its use is almost universal by females?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When To Do Something Special
The time you most need to do something special for your partner is the time you most want to just get away.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When Freedom of Speech Should be Absolute
I think freedom of speech should be absolute for the right to plead a case that the law be changed, even when the petitioners are hated and despised, such as gays, paedophiles, necrophiles, coprophagists, sadists, drug addicts, Muslims, drunk drivers, soldiers… I myself was charged in 1970 with indecent assault for pleading the case for gay civil rights in a book I wrote that I mailed free to anyone who asked. The charge was dismissed when my lawyer pointed out that the charge amounted to rape through the mails.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When He Peaked
When your lover dumps you, talk to yourself like this He was incredible. Then he changed. He’s not quite so incredible now. I got to enjoy him while he peaked.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When Obesity is Cured
It is only a matter of time until medicine can cure obesity. Then, the only fat people will be eccentrics. We will need a new bulk-screening device other than weight to eliminate potential partners.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When Polygamy Is Not OK
I think polygamy per se is fine and I also think it is an ecological crime to have more than one child per adult. Using babymaking as the only entertainment, as is common in polygamous relationships, is a crime against the earth.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
When Same Sex Attraction is Socially Acceptable
If a teenage boy has a ferocious crush on a man ten years his senior, his parents will panic, unless that older male plays hockey professionally.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
If humans did their sexual selection the way prairie grouse do, only the richest, CEO (Chief Executive Officer) s, rock musicians, Olympic athletes, pro sports players and dancers would ever sire children.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Who Opposes Gay Marriage
If you are opposed to gay marriage, who stands with you?
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- Adolf Hitler
- Alec Baldwin
- Anita Bryant
- Bob Barr
- Donald J. Trump
- Ernest Angely
- Fred Phelps
- Gerry Falwell
- Jim Inhofe
- Kim Jong-un
- Kirk Cameron
- Mao Zedong
- Mel Gibson
- Michele Bachmann
- Mitch McConnell
- Pope Francis
- Robert Mugabe
- Ronald Reagan
- Rush Limbaugh
- Vladimir Putin
Whom Do You Believe?
When someone reports they have been mugged, the police usually assume the victim is telling the truth. But when someone reports they have been raped, even when 21 people report the same perpetrator raped them, the assumption is all the victims are lying. Trump escaped 21 accusers with a simple denial. This happens when the perpetrator is rich and famous.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why Gay Pride Parades?
The early gay pride parades were very sombre affairs. People were terrified Christians would kill them. Gays put up with endless putdowns from Christians. Often the Christians are so clueless they don’t even know their vicious remarks are falling on gay ears. Gays feel beaten down and suppressed having to live among Christians. In a gay pride parade, there are so many gays it is safe. So people dress bizarrely so as to say Fuck You! I hope this drives you so crazy, you old biddy, that you have a heart attack. I can do whatever I damn well please and you can’t stop me, not this time.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why Gays Make Better Parents
It may come as a surprise, but on average gay parents are better parents than straight parents. The main reason is obvious. Gay parents choose to be parents. 50% of the time straight parents become parents by accident — failure in birth control. When straight people have children it is because they like sex. When gay people have children, it is because they like children. Further Gay parents are more likely to be sympathetic to a child’s complaints about bullies, and less likely to just brush them off.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70) source
Why I Love Actors
I love actors. They don’t mind if I stare.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why Men and Women Resent Each Other
Women and men resent each other because they are attracted not to what the other is, but to what the other has — namely a pay cheque and vagina.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why Pot Is An Aphrodisiac
The first order of business in any sexual encounter is to forget about any even-more spectacular sexual experience you had in the past. Perhaps that explains the popularity of cannabis as an aphrodisiac.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why Sexuality Could Not Be A Choice
If it were true that people can choose their sexuality, surely women coming out of abusive relationships would at least try out being a lesbian and similarly males coming out of a bitter divorce would give homosexuality a stab.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why Were You Dumped?
The most likely reason you were dumped is because you changed. It was not necessarily a negative change. It might have been something like:
~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
- You gained or lost weight.
- You became more or less fit.
- Your health improved or got worse.
- You devoted more or less time to your partner.
- Your mental illnesses improved or got worse.
- You became more or less famous.
- You became more or less monogamous.
- Other people saw you as more or less desirable.
Why You Should Give Up Quickly
It is hard to accept that when your ex has left suddenly, your ex does not care how you feel, how you doing or even if you are alive or dead. He rarely even thinks about you. He wants to forget you even though you may wish desperately for some thin thread of a relationship to honour what once was. When someone decides to dump another, they resolve to carry through by convincing themselves their ex was a monster. If you are mathematically inclined, you might study catastrophe theory to understand how it works. The sooner you give up and get on with your life the better. Look at animals. They never pine at rejection. They know better. They know their odds of happiness are much better with someone else.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why You Were Dumped
If your partner dumps you suddenly, instead of mulling over endlessly what you might have done wrong, consider the possibility you outlived your usefulness or that someone else made a better offer.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Why You Were Dumped
The question people commonly ask themselves is why did he/she leave? One answer is the hormone PEA that creates a mania people mistake for true love. Your brain secretes it only at the start of a relationship to help you over the hump of adjusting to each other. Your partner was seeking another hit of it. It is not that the competition was any better than you, just newer.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Will He Stand By You?
What you want most in a long term partner is to be able to trust they will stick with you through thick and thin. How do you tell? How do they treat their friends, ex’s and family? Are they self centered? Do they expect the universe to revolve around them? Are they absolutely stubborn even on minor issues?~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Wisdom is Irrational
Wisdom amounts to living your life primarily for the benefit of your later years. However, given that the last half of your life whips by in a twinkling, this is not a rational strategy.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Eventually you reach a certain age when you realise that none of your sexual fantasies will ever happen. At a time like that, you might be tempted to wish to reincarnate and have a second try to realise them, or go to a heaven where they manifest without effort. Wishful thinking propels such ideas, not evidence.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Wishing to be Gay
I once gave a lecture in Matsqui prison. One of the inmates told me that he wished he could be gay while in prison, then flip back when he was released. He greatly envied the gay prisoners. Try as he might, he could not change his sexual orientation.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Women Dress For Women
Men don’t pay any attention to clothes. Women do. If women dress expensively, it is to impress other women. If men want to impress women, they should seek help investing in expensive clothes. If women want to impress men, they should get their spongy butts off to a gym.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Many creatures wrestle to test the genetic fitness of the prospective mate. Humans joust verbally.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You are Welcome
You may have noticed how quotations pop up at random all over my website, aimed at loosening up your thinking on sexuality. You are welcome to use any or all of the quotations in my quotation collection in a similar way on your own website. To get your point across these days, you have to shrink it to a sound bite.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You Determine Your Health
It is a mistake to think your doctor will look after your health. Doctors deal only with a small class of health problems caused by disease organisms. It is up to you to look after your diet, exercise, stress, sleep and flexibility. It is up to you to discover what foods agree with you and which do not. Tuning those up will have far more effect than any pill.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You Don’t Want HIV
Medicine has a good shot at keeping you alive indefinitely with HIV, but the catch is you may have to live for the rest of your life with the side effects of severe nausea, crippling diarrhoea and very low energy. I assure you, the inconvenience of safe sex is much preferable.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You Know You Are Old
You know you are old when you don’t want sex because it would reveal too many of your body’s flaws.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You Likely Do Not Really Want a High Status Lover
If you want a partner who is significantly better looking than you, younger than you, better hung, richer, more famous etc., if you succeed in attracting one, your partner will necessarily have serious drawbacks that scared off everyone else better looking, younger, better hung, richer or more famous than you are. It might be emotional immaturity, drug/alcohol use, self-absorption, neediness, promiscuity, spends your money like water, insane jealousy, wants sex excessively often/rarely, treats you with contempt, has some sexual fetish, compulsive neatness… If you are lucky, it will be something you can handle. TANSTAAFL (There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch). You will save yourself all manner of grief if you set your sites on finding someone of roughly equal status to yourself.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
You Look Better Now Than You Ever Will In Future
If you are a teen, no matter what you think of your appearance now, in 25 years you will look at your old photos and wonder why you did not revel in looking so darn good.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
Your World Record
For about 0.4 seconds, even you once held a world record. (world’s youngest human)~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
The Youth Trap
Pity the old man, still hopelessly enamoured of youth and beauty. The only way to attract a partner is to became rich or famous. But even then, his partner will find him unappealing. He would be tolerated only for his wealth or fame.~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:70)
This page is posted
Optional Replicator mirror
Your face IP:[188.8.131.52]
You are visitor number|