|recommend book⇒Nonviolent Communication: a language of Compassion|
|by||Marshall B. Rosenberg||978-1-892005-02-1||paperback|
|birth||1934-10-06 age: 79|
|Greyed out stores probably do not have the item in stock. Try looking for it with a bookfinder.|
What Rosenberg discovered, is when you get a group of people (mixed Giraffe and Jackal speakers) focussing on their own feelings and needs, automatically they start to co-operate to help each other get those needs met — even Rwandans who days earlier where slicing each other’s children to bits.
A skilled Giraffe can figure out what the feelings and needs are behind a vicious attack, and sees those needs and feelings only, ignoring the attack itself. Giraffes don’t concern themselves with what Jackals think, just how they are feeling and what they need. They constantly lead the Jackals away from their thoughts and judgements to their feelings and needs.
People don’t make you angry, your attack thoughts about them do.
If you are not in touch with your needs and feelings, chances are you won’t be very skillful in getting your needs met.
Jackals make the error of blaming some other person, rather than going directly for getting their needs met.
The way you tell a request from a demand, is what you do if the other person does not fulfill it.
Jackals are usually completely unaware of their needs.
If someone is psychologically troubled, it does not help to dwell on the past or root about in the past to discover the causes of the current malaise. It is better to focus on what current feelings and needs are and what could be done to satisfy those needs.
Both praise and blame are attempts to manipulate. They will eventually backfire. Let your appreciations be heartfelt.
People attempting to be empathetic will typically make the following errors:
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