talking : Gay & Black Glossary

The advice I would give to anyone nervous about sex is don’t talk, unless you are in extreme pain. Inexperienced people tend to chatter nervously during sex like a Woody Allen monologue. It makes sex for both of you impossible. You have to get out of your head and into your sensations.

Grunts and incoherent noises of pleasure are fine, though some partners will become self conscious if you are too loud, especially if you appear to be faking it.

Some people enjoy foul even abusive language. However, it will immediately turn most people off, especially the use of the words pussy or “bitch’.

One of the advantages of having sex with someone whose native language is not English, if they do start talking, even if just to express excitement, their statements come across purely as grunts and sound effects, not complex syntax that needs to be parsed.