Do not discuss sexual acts and above all do not tell her which sexual acts you like doing. The older generation gets violently upset thinking of some of the sex habits of the heterosexual younger generation much less those of the homosexual one. Let her know that you went to great lengths to find other homosexuals and that you were not led down the primrose path. Let her know about the non-sexual side of your gay life — the parties, clubs, friends and lovers. Tell her how you attempted suicide or seriously considered it) before you came out and now that you have come out, you have not even thought of it again. Try to impress on her that you are still the same boy she knew; she has discovered one more facet of your character.
Later, once one parent has become accustomed to your homosexuality (about 3 months later) both of you should approach the other. Your father will take it harder as your homosexuality reflects on his masculinity. He thinks that people will think he is gay too.
In nearly every civilisation other than the Judeo-Christian ones, men were expected to be bisexual — enjoy sex with both men and women. Our civilization is abnormal(deviates from the standard) in its strict suppression of our homosexual desires. Many homosexual people feel that bisexual people are fence-sitters or else latent homosexuals who maintain al interest in girls as a sop to their masculinity-demanding egos. I think it is terribly presumptuous of a gay to say to a bisexual your interests in girls are not genuine — they are just for show. It is just as presumptuous as a straight telling a gay your interests in men are not genuine. You couldn’t really love a man. Just because you cannot feel some particular emotion does not mean that no one else can.
Many people try very hard to define exactly where they stand on the homosexual-heterosexual spectrum. Once they have decided where they fit, they feel guilty whenever they stray from this position. Why I will never know. My gay friends are forever trying to get me to give up my heterosexual relationships by accusing me of being incapable of making up my mind. And, of course, my straight friends are forever trying to get me to become completely straight. Why should I categorically refuse a beautiful person whom I really like just because she has the wrong kind of genitals?
Some gays force themselves to fuck girls just to prove they can still do it. Some gays hate themselves for their occasional lust after Raquel Welch. Of course, straight guys wrongly suppress any feelings they may have for other guys. Trust yourself. Your mind knows what it needs.
A transvestite is a male or female who wears the clothing of the opposite gender and assumes some of the manners, habits and voice of the opposite gender to various degrees. A transvestite is not necessarily a homosexual. And as I have said many other times in this essay, very few homosexuals are also transvestites. Those that are both are called drag queens.
If you think that homosexuals are a repressed group, have a good look at the transvestites. The police hassle them constantly; gangs of kids beat them up; they are rejected by the straight world and a goodly proportion of the gay world is no more tolerant. You, as a new gay, probably have that same prejudice the straights have. Eventually you will bump into some transvestites and you will get to talk to them and get to see that they are people too. Until you can get over your supposed gut-reaction fear and disgust with so harmless a group as the transvestites, you are one hell of a hypocrite in expecting the straight world to get over their gut-reaction disgust of you. Other societies do not have the same up-tight feelings about transvestites. American Indian tribes were quite familiar with transvestism and transexualism and such persons were known as nadl e by the Navaho, as i-wa-musp, by the Californian Indians and e l ha by the Cocopa.
Tahitian transvestites are called mahhus. A ghetto of transvestic male homosexuals exists in the Philippines. Many ancient and oriental and Mediterranean cultures used transvestism extensively in religion and priests took up feminine attire and attempted to perform transsexual surgery to some degree. In India a group of transvestic castrati turned up at the polls to vote and were amazed to find themselves listed as male voters.
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